Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

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The election of Donald Trump as the next President of the United States is a scary and horrific thing for many of us. He and his cabinet, full of unqualified and unsuitable candidates, threaten civil rights, voter rights, health care, public education, social security, the first amendment, foreign relations, free press, and the values of most good and decent people everywhere. We must resist his actions to destroy the fabric of democracy and the security of our citizens. In an effort to do that, each week I share some acts of resistance and steps of activism you can take. Here are this week’s:
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This week in the forums we’re discussing:

“Should I Tell Him I’m Still in Love with Him Even Though He Has a New Girlfriend?”

What to say about being a flake?

Married Boss confessed his love for me

“My Post-Divorce Boyfriend Doesn’t Want Sex As Much Anymore”

“I Don’t Think My Engineer Boyfriend Will Be Able to Support Me!”

Am I a hater? I really dislike my cousin’s fiancé and feel petty as hell about

Can’t control 4 year old son

Can you just be friends?

Dealing with miscarriage

“My Boyfriend’s Too Close with His Brother’s Girlfriend”

“My Boyfriend’s Too Close with His Brother’s Girlfriend”

Anyone going on awesome dates?

Follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.

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I included this article about “phubbing” in last week’s Friday round-up, but wanted to revisit it today since it’s kind of interesting, and also because I like the word “phubbing.” Phubbing — a combination of “phone” and “snubbing” — is when your partner/date/romantic interest is too distracted by his or her smart phone to pay attention to you. According to one study, 70% of participants “said that phubbing hurt their ability to interact with their romantic partners.” Well, I mean, yeah. It’s not exactly sexy when you’re trying to converse or make googly eyes at someone and he’s got his eyes on his phone, and then his face is all aglow with that weird bluish-florescent light of his Facebook page or whatever. Not sexy. But, I think most of us are probably guilty of phubbing maybe as often, or nearly as often, as we’re on the receiving end of the phubbing.

Apparently, the phenomenon is so wide-spread that there are various “movements” in place to stop phubbing. In Australia, there’s a campaign and website that “lets people download posters to discourage phubbing at events. There is also the anti-phubbing dinner ritual. It involves everyone at the table placing their phones on the table, face down. The first person to check their phone pays for everyone else’s meal.” Hmm… that seems… expensive? What if you’re just checking the time? Or to see if the babysitter has texted a cute picture of the kids in their PJs?!

Is phubbing a big enough deal in your life that you have, or would consider having, such rituals? Has it ever negatively affected a relationship — or friendship — enough that you had to address it? And if so, how? Are there any people in long-term relationships who don’t lie in bed looking at their phones next to their partners who are looking at their phones?

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My husband is 80 years old and very interested in the beautiful and flirtatious 48-year-old lady next door. When we met this lady, I knew immediately he’d be very attracted to her. It’s a habit. (He’s been diagnosed as a narcissist, by the way). We recently moved from Florida back to the Midwest and away from two ladies whom he spent as much time with as possible. Although he was friends with their husbands, he clearly was embarrassingly attentive to these ladies, even visiting one or the other while the husbands were out of the state on fishing trips, etc. All three guys are friends.

I’m proud that I have a husband who is extremely handy and helpful to friends and neighbors. My troubles are his actions are inappropriate and hurtful toward me. He is in extremely good condition and very attractive. I’ve taken care of myself physically and emotionally to stay healthy and attractive as well. I am, however, 79 years old and feel so hurt by his vocal comparisons of me to this new acquaintance next door. She’s clearly very attracted to him and “jokes” about it constantly. I hate feeling jealous when I feel honestly hurt and like an old shoe. — Feeling Like an Old Shoe

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Last week, I shared my 2016 gift guides for women and men. Today, some of my favorite holiday picks for kids:
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