Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Stop Using Women And Girls To Justify Transphobia

20 Diversion Tactics Highly Manipulative Narcissists, Sociopaths And Psychopaths Use To Silence You

Upside: Trump’s Election Drives More Women To Consider Running For Office

Sweden has an interesting idea for improving work-life balance and lifting the local birthrate.

Gee, I wonder why: “‘Real men provide, real women appreciate it’ billboard draws controversy”

Relax, Your Smartphone Probably Isn’t Destroying Your Relationships: More than a decade’s worth of research shows there may be some hidden social upsides to screen time.

When Your Greatest Romance Is a Friendship

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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Three quickies today:

I met this girl recently and I really like her, and I know she really likes me back, but when we started dating exclusively she let me know that she was interested in joining the Navy. I supported her decision and she recently passed the medical tests and leaves in April for basic training which lasts three months. If she passes, she will be gone for four years and she only gets to come home two times a year. We will only have been dating exclusively for two months by then and we got exclusive pretty soon after we met. I want to make things work with her, but not being able to spend time with her for so long seems like a deal breaker. Please help. — Losing Her to the Navy?

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The following essay is a guest post written by Emily Morris, whose previous guest essays can be read here, here,here, and here.

I was twenty-five when I went to the no-kill cat shelter in town and met the cat who lived in the office there. He had been there for a year, and the first thing the woman who worked there said about him was: “He bites.” I don’t know what it says about me that I decided I loved him almost immediately. He was huge and furry with green eyes and a pink nose. He was four, and his name was Elroy.

I stuffed this yowling angry dude into a carrier and brought him home. It wasn’t long before we bonded over what I believe was his acute sense of humor. He loved to roll around on his back on the ground and stare at me upside down. He was 18 pounds and most of it was fur. He enjoyed sitting in my green chair like a person and also had a habit of hiding behind curtains and CHARGING out at top speed which was both hysterical and sort of terrifying.
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My boyfriend of a year wants me to move in with him. He owns his own business, and I work as a teacher. I’d help with bills and I’d contribute as we will be a team as we always have been. However, his mother lives with him and is very dependent on him. She won’t go anywhere without him. She doesn’t take up much space, but she is an emotional wreck and she has no consideration for anyone around her. She makes my boyfriend feel like a piece of scum most of the time, and he refuses to say anything because he was raised with the whole “children are seen, not heard” method.

She had a run-in with identity theft a few years ago, and since then she has not used her social security number. Everything she has my boyfriend pays for or it’s in his name. She even works for him, and he pays her by housing her and feeding her. She has literally nothing without him. However, he’s more than open to helping her move out if she would be willing. She just got a boyfriend and they say they want to move in together, but she’s playing all these games with my boyfriend. She can move out, she can’t move out. Blah blah blah. And she’s telling him that he’s “holding her back.” She says she can “start using her social security number in June,” but it sounds like a load of bull all the way around.

I’ve decided that I can’t move in until she’s out because I have two cats to think about and she does not treat her animals too kindly. This is putting a lot of pressure on our relationship, and I’m not sure what to do. Should I talk to her and tell her my struggles and that I feel held back in my relationship with her son? Do I just let her do her thing and hope to God she moves out soon? My boyfriend won’t push her out and I don’t want her pushed out if she’s not ready because she’ll just be back at his door a month later. I’m just hoping for an outside perspective. Thank you!! — Parent Trapped

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CIRCLE ICON DW 0127145

This week in the forums we’re discussing:

I started crying and he said “Oh god!!”

Confusing and difficult relationship

“Is it too much to ask for my boyfriend to spend time with me?”

Is he looking for a sugar mama?

Job Hunting Advice!

“Am I Wrong For Wanting Out of My Marriage?”

Should I walk away from this “relationship”?

Therapist help!

Toxic job advice

“Boyfriend spends more than he makes”

This whole Trump situation just gets worse and worse everyday

Anyone going on awesome dates?

Follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.

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