Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

A day late and a dollar short with the weekend open thread, but I wanted to at least pop in and say hi and wish you a great weekend. I get three designated mornings each week when I have childcare for Joanie and I can work on DW (in addition to her daily naps), and some weeks those mornings are eaten up by various appointments and volunteering or chaperoning at Jackson’s school. This was one of those weeks (and next week will be the same). I love the flexibility of my schedule and I feel really lucky to get to be so present in the kids’ day-to-day lives, but I’m always excited when I have a week with fewer disruptions so I can focus a little more here. I have all these ideas for how I’d like to expand DW eventually, but I don’t want to sacrifice time with the kids, especially Joanie who’s not in school yet, so the ideas will likely have to wait a couple more years. I’m ok with that.

Anyway, that was a weird tangent that was prompted by having zero time in the last two days to get a column or open thread up for yesterday, and I guess I felt the need to explain. I’m sure you were all on pins and needles wondering where I was. I was at the Queens zoo with a bunch of kindergarteners (and sitting in lots and lots of traffic, which you know if you follow my Instagram stories), and I was at the playground (a lot), and I was slathering sunscreen all over little arms and legs and faces, plus my own (it suddenly got really sunny and hot here), and I was picking out paint samples with my friend for her restaurant renovation (hi, Lesley!), and I was on my bike a little bit, too, because, come on, wouldn’t you be?

And this weekend, I’ll be on my bike a little more, and at the park, and at Jackson’s Little League game, and I don’t know what else. It’s a rare weekend when I don’t have any obligations and don’t have much planned. Ooh, we’ll probably go to the cherry blossom festival in the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, which is in our neighborhood, and is something people from across the city come to check out every year. And we’ll probably eat tacos at some point, because this, folks, is perfect taco-eating weather.

What are you up to?


Brian Rea for The New York Times

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“To Stay Married, Embrace Change”

This was a fascinating read: “Can You Still Have Hope When Life Seems Hopeless?”

In an effort to lose the 13 pounds (!) I gained in the months following the November election, I’ve started incorporating this 9-minute strength work-out into my mix of exercises (which includes jogging, biking, light weight training, and a pilates-inspired glute and abs class that makes me want to die). Even on days I’m feeling especially lazy, my plan is to at least do the 9-minute work-out. It’s kind of awful, but it’s only nine minutes!

Every romantic relationship has a power imbalance, but the stakes are higher for women

Here’s What Trump Has Done For Women In His First 100 Days

I relate to so many points in this article. If you’re the parent of a “neuro-divergent” child (like one who has generalized anxiety disorder, ADHD, executive function impairment, ODD, depression, dyslexia, sensory issues, and/or is on the autism spectrum), you may relate, too. “10 Things Parents Of ‘Normal’ Kids Should Know”

How much personal space people like in different parts of the world.

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram.


Wendy’s Weekly Picks,” is a feature in which I highlight stuff I like or recommend in the worlds of fashion, gift ideas, home decor, makeup, websites, entertainment, and recipes. Of course, ​much​ of the stuff I link to will be affiliate products, which means I’ll receive a commission on any click-throughs or purchases you make through the affiliate links. As always, I appreciate your support! Here are my favorite finds this week (“sea” if you can find the common theme):

This has been one of my favorite facial masks for about twelve years now. I use it about once a month, alternating with my other favorite brand, and after each use, my skin is so soft and smooth and rosy.

This chocolate after a long day, yes.

I didn’t know a bath mat, of all things, could be so beautiful.

One of my go-to recipes for dinner guests. Super simple, super delicious.

This sea mist hair spray smells amazing and really does give hair — even fine hair — great beach waves!

Woah, these tampons are really intriguing. Has anyone tried them before?

These earrings are so quirky and cute.

How pretty are these plates? Can you believe they’re melamine and you can safely use them outside without worrying about shattering them? True story!

These are a little more breakable but just as pretty.

Ooh, this jumpsuit is cute. With a tan and the right jewelry and shoes, this could be the perfect outfit for sipping cucumber gin-and-tonics on a yacht. Are you going on a yacht? Will you bring me?

Inspired by sea urchins, this is called an anxiety ring, though I’m not really sure why.

If you’re into embroidery, this would be a fun pattern to try.

I love the color scheme of this simple tote.

Ok, confession: I’ve never used this stuff and have no idea how good it is or isn’t, but I’m a sucker for simple, pretty packaging like this, and the reviews are amazing!


My boyfriend recently let me borrow his iPad, I snooped, and found forty-seven pictures he took a year ago (before we started dating) of his best friend’s wife. In the pictures she was passed out naked and drunk next to his best friend.They don’t know he took the pictures. I also found a video he took of her secretly while she was getting out of the shower. He used to live with them for three years, and there is an obvious attraction between them that I noticed initially when he introduced me to the group. I tried to ignore it since I can understand that a friendship develops when you live with someone for three years, and that it’s normal to be attracted to other people. However, since I found these pictures, I don’t know how to react. It makes me question his values and what he thinks is acceptable, since he found it ok to take pictures of a woman passed out drunk.

I confronted him about the pictures, and he said “he didn’t know why” he took them. He disclosed that a year before his best friend and she got married, she drunkenly told him that it should’ve been him that she was with and not his friend. To my knowledge nothing has physically happened, but he admits that he moved out because they were getting married and it was “becoming more difficult to be around her and he would think about her a lot.” The attraction between them remains awkward, especially when I’m around because of how he looks at her.

I reached out to the girl initially when I was introduced to his group of friends, and I tried to establish a friendship with her as well, but she declined all invitations to hang out, and several months later the situation combusted in a night where I overheard her gossip about me to her friends and I went home crying. I suspect she doesn’t like me because she’s used to having my boyfriend give her all of his attention. I’m the first serious girlfriend he’s had in six years, and now since I found the pictures, it’s more uncomfortable to be around that group of people.

How would you handle this? — Lost and Found

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This week in the forums we’re discussing:

Olive Garden ruined my relationship

My boyfriend has a friend who’s a girl

I think he’s flirting. He disagrees. Input please


What is the correct response?

Craziness on AAM today!

Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite?

Boyfriend and prostitutes

Poorly timed promotion

Anyone going on awesome dates?

Follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at