Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Our anger has been unleashed:

“But for the past six weeks, since reports of one movie producer’s serial predation blew a Harvey-size hole in the news cycle, there is suddenly space, air, for women to talk. To yell, in fact. To make dangerous lists and call reporters and text with their friends about everything that’s been suppressed.

This is not feminism as we’ve known it in its contemporary rebirth — packaged into think pieces or nonprofits or Eve Ensler plays or Beyoncé VMA performances. That stuff has its place and is necessary in its own way. This is different. This is ’70s-style, organic, mass, radical rage, exploding in unpredictable directions. It is loud, thanks to the human megaphone that is social media and the “whisper networks” that are now less about speaking sotto voce than about frantically typed texts and all-caps group chats.” — Your Reckoning. And Mine. As stories about abuse, assault, and complicity come flooding out, how do we think about the culprits in our lives? Including, sometimes, ourselves.

Sarah Silverman Speaks on Louis C.K.: ‘Can You Love Someone Who Did Bad Things?’

Being on the Right Side of History in 1998 Sucked

Related: What Hillary Knew

Yep: “I Applaud our Feminist Resurgence. I also Fear the Backlash.”

Better treat your partner well: “Sex unlikely to stop your heart—but if it does, your partner may let you die”

Senior Couples Try the 36 Questions That Lead to Love

I’m A Trans Woman, & I Feel Pressure To Be A Mother One Day

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram.

I recently read the story of the flirting SIL and the smirking husband. I have a similar situation. My husband (twenty-nine years together, twenty-five married) started flirting with my sister shortly after our wedding. I told him numerous times how much this hurt me. He laughed and told me I was reading it wrong or I was too sensitive. Even after our talks he kept flirting with her. I just grew to ignore it and look past it and live with it. In addition, I was never allowed to show affection to him in public. If I tried to hold his hand or hug and kiss him, I got shoved away and told: “Stop, we are in public, people will see us.”

Then in 2011 I was sent a letter of a private message between him and my other sister flirting. My husband had said to her: “I can’t wait to see you in those short skirts, come on summer.” I confronted him and at first he lied. Then I showed him the letter and he said: “That’s not flirting — it was just a conversation.” How do I forgive and forget? — Dismissed

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My boyfriend, “Stan,” and I have been together for about six years and met while I was still a teenager. Not too long ago we broke up but then got back together pretty quickly. I initiated the breakup because I felt that I was allowing the relationship to hold me back from social and academic opportunities. We got back together because we felt that we could encourage each other to pursue other things while still in the relationship.

First breakup aside, I am noticing some things about the relationship that make me feel unsure about our ability to stay together in the long run. We have very different political and world views. On the rare occasion that we do discuss these topics, it does not end well. I find myself trying to change his opinions and unable to accept the way he thinks. Not only do we not agree about many issues, but also I find that I am much more interested and curious regarding societal/moral/cultural issues and he prefers to ignore them. It bothers me that he does not care about the same things I do, and I find it difficult to discuss intellectual topics with him.

When we are not discussing political, societal or intellectual issues, we get along very well. He is a good listener, able to share his emotions easily, and very kind and caring. My question is: How important are the topics we have problems with? Is it paramount that your partner be intellectually stimulating?

I realize that these barriers are significant and cause me to lose respect for my partner and treat him less than he deserves. I am terrified of breaking up with him. My social circle is smaller than I would desire and I depend on him for a bulk of my emotional support. The last time we broke up it was devastating and very lonely for both of us. I worry that I will be too lonely after the breakup and not able to remain strong in my decision. With our six years of history, we know each other very well. I hate to think of causing pain to a person I really care about.

(Side note: The first time we broke up his mother told me she never thought we were compatible and that I had stolen the best years of her son’s life. I am very stubborn and hate to think that, if we break up for good, she wins.)

How do I get past all of these things and do what is best? — Obvious Questioner

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This week in the forums, we’re discussing:

Need advice about friendship

New Job vs. Family Planning

“He Talks to His Daughter About Our Sex Life”

“My Husband Flirted with Another Woman at a Wedding”

My boyfriend still hasn’t filed for divorce

People suddenly go silent after I speak

Husband having trouble fighting fairly

“My Wife is addicted To Conflict”

New Job vs. Family Planning

This whole Trump situation just gets worse and worse everyday

Anyone going on awesome dates?

Follow along on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at


Brian Rea for The New York Times

It’s been 13 years since The New York Times debuted its hit column, Modern Love, which covers all the angst and wonder, joy and despair, of modern day relationships. The essays in the column generally reach about 1500 words. In honor of the column’s 13th birthday, the editors wanted to see what kind of love stories could emerge in 13 words, so they presented the challenge to their readers. Here are a few of my favorite, plus my own 13-word love story:
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