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My fiancé and I have been together for a little over four years and living together for about two. He’s a sweet guy who would give me the world if I asked, and I love him. And when he proposed in December 2014, I was ecstatic, but the very next day we had a party at our house and I got really drunk and made out with one of our good friends though nothing further happened. Well, I blew it off as a drunken mistake, but just this past week I slipped up again and went a little too far when flirting with a long time friend/coworker. We didn’t kiss or anything, but we did lie together and fondle one another. We both agreed nothing more would come of it, but my question is: Should I tell my fiancé since I seem to keep doing it? — Engaged and Making Out With Others

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wedding invitation

I am a bride about to be married in August. My fiancé comes from a big family where is he number six out of seven kids. While his family is VERY close, he has one sister who is not with them. She lives farther away from the rest and doesn’t communicate with four of the siblings. Over the past two years, she has distanced herself greatly; she claims she will come in for events but always cancels last minute. We are worried about her mental well-being because of some other reasons (for another day). A year and a half ago she secretly got married to a man she met online. We only found out after seeing a picture on Facebook and doing a little investigative work through court documents.

She has never come clean about her marriage to this day. My future in-laws have met him on two occasions. Here’s the predicament: We are issuing wedding invitations in two short months. We DO NOT want to invite her new husband for these reasons:

1. She has made no attempt to introduce us to him or tell us about them.

2. My parents are paying for the wedding (quite expensive wedding).

3. She had a wedding none of us was invited to (but his family was).

His parents feel we absolutely need to include him, saying “he’s a nice guy.” We feel our wedding day should not be a meet-and-greet for the rest of the family nor is it an appropriate time for her to announce this life milestone to others on our day.

What are your thoughts? — My Wedding is Not a Meet-and-Greet

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Happy Friday! How was your week? Mine was pretty good. Highlights: I had a sonogram yesterday and got lots of images of Baby Girl Condellberry, including one where she’s totally smiling and looks just like her big bother in profile. You know, if her big brother were a black-and-white x-ray image. She’s also been kicking a lot in the last week, which is such a cool sensation, and one I am trying to soak up as this will be my last pregnancy and my last time experiencing it. I also started a new book that I’m really enjoying so far. (It took me two weeks to choose a book because I was so anxious about picking something I wouldn’t like, so I’m relieved I seemed to have chosen well this time. It’s a memoir written by a woman who, it turns out, was born the day before I was, in Mexico, and about her tumultuous childhood after parents left her and her young siblings to flee to the United States). And this morning, at the coffee shop I was working at while Jackson was in school, Ethan Hawke totally sat at the table next to me, and, OMG, I’m such a fan that, even though I’ve gotten used to celeb sightings (eventually, if you live in NYC long enough, at some point you see everyone who is or ever was famous), I was totally freaking out (on the inside, I mean. On the outside, I was totally, like, “Whatever, no big deal, carry on.”)*. And now it’s just about time for me to go pick up Jackson and we’re going to head to a Friday matinee of Paddington, which will be his first ever full-feature movie theater experience. (We took him to a film fest a few weeks ago where he saw a collection of shorts, but none was longer than 15 minutes or so). He has requested lollipops and popcorn during the movie, which I think I can oblige.

Also, February ends tomorrow and then we’re in March and that means Spring is coming, spring is coming, SPRING IS COMING. And maybe I’m jumping the gun a little — after all, it will probably be a couple more months before temps hit 80 around here — but I’ve totally got my eyes on these. Ooh, and these! And, God, can I just say how happy I am that I will be big-pregnant in the spring and summer instead of the winter? These last two weeks since I started rapidly gaining weight — and I mean RAPIDLY; for 17 weeks, I gained one pound, and then all of a sudden, I blinked and I packed on 8 or 9 pounds — it’s been a challenge to pull on my boots or zip up my winter coat. (I figure I have about two more weeks that I will actually be able to zip it up at all, so spring really needs to hurry and get here because I am not going to buy a maternity coat that I’ll just wear for a few days). I’m ready for the ease of sandals and flowy dresses and all good things that warmer months bring, except boob sweat and smelly garbage. Oh, and air conditioner drippage on the sidewalk, gross.

Oh! By the way, I thought this forum thread posed an interesting topic for discussion. Have you ever had a really bad or awkward first kiss that led to a much better second kiss (or a great relationship)?

Ok, that’s all. Happy weekend, everyone!

* So, Ethan Hawke is totally one of my favorite celeb sightings. I also got a thrill out of seeing the Rolling Stones stroll out of a movie theater on the UWS years ago. And when we still lived in Hell’s Kitchen, not too far from the Ed Sullivan theater where Letterman is taped, Drew and I got to see Obama drive away in his motorcade after taping an interview with Dave (and he looked out the window as he drove past and waved at us!). And my least favorite celeb sighting is Kate Hudson, who is a total bitch and basically represents everything that is wrong with celebrity culture. What about you? Any favorite or least favorite celeb sightings?

PS Yesterday was Johnny Cash’s birthday (or, as Jackson calls him, just “Cash”). Hence, the song.

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Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

The Clooney Effect: Introducing the age of the Trophy Husband [via The Atlantic]
Helen Fisher’s latest study on American singles flips stereotypical relationship dynamics

“Being Thin Didn’t Make Me Happy, But Being ‘Fat’ Does” [via Huffington Post]

If you’re at all active on social media, you’ve probably seen pictures in the last couple days of “the dress.” Here, “The Two Women Behind The Dress Definitively Reveal Its Color” [via Slate]

“The Trials And Tribulations Of A Token Pretty Girl” [via Ravishly]

“Fifty Shades of Grey Is a Great Dating Guide” [via NYMag]

“The Marriage Secret No One Wants To Admit” [via HuffPost]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
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