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Jackson starts public school in TWELVE days! Twelve! In the meantime, with the exception of three mornings a week when Jackson is with his sitter, I’m juggling both kids on my own all day and all I want to say about that is it’s a good thing I can drink again. But when Jackson starts school in twelve days (twelve!) and his sitter starts watching Joanie a few hours a week, I’ll be able to catch my breath and do some things for myself again (exercise! go to the eye doctor! see the dentist! really fun stuff like that!). I’ll also be able to devote more time to DW again (and I thank you for being understanding in the meantime when I don’t always get a column posted or don’t have one up at the time you’re used to seeing one).

Today I took both kids to Coney Island (along with a friend and her daughter). It was Joanie’s first subway ride and I thought it was an appropriate destination for such an occasion. Jackson rode his first roller coaster, we ate hot dogs, he got a new pair of sunglasses, we all rode the Wonder Wheel, it was a lovely, if exhausting, New York summer day (and Joanie slept through most of it). Hope you are enjoying your final days of summer, too. Happy weekend!



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Brian Rea for the New York Times

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

This is a sweet essay about being addicted to love (and finding a happy ending). It involves apple martinis (which reminds me: I need to re-launch my Drinking with Dear Wendy series.)

Because the pool of college-educated women is much larger, for college-educated men, their unwillingness to consider working-class women as life partners has little statistical effect on their marriage prospects. But for college-educated women, excluding working-class guys makes their dating math much more challenging. Bottom line: New York City women looking for a match would be better off, statistically at least, at a fireman’s bar in Staten Island than a wine bar on the tony Upper East Side.

— Hookup culture isn’t the real problem facing singles today. It’s math.

Did you use your cell phone during your most recent social gathering? If so, you’re not alone. And if you think it’s rude to be attached to your phone during social gatherings, you’re not alone on that either.

I like all of these 5 tried-and-true tips for a successful marriage from real-life couples.

Well, here’s maybe one good reason to be glad the end of summer is around the corner: analysis suggests cheating spikes in the warmer months.

Related: Letters From Ashley Madison Users. These are sad to read and help humanize the victims of that hack — people whose private lives and decisions they may or may not regret should never have been made public.

Also related, in case we’re not quite done talking about it: here’s why it makes perfect sense that Josh Duggar cheated.

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram.



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My sister sent me this link a few days ago (thanks, Allie!), which describes how Twitter users are using the hashtag #RelationshipGoalsIn3Words to share their hopes, dreams, and goals for their love life.

Here are mine, currently, seven weeks after having our second baby:

Get more sleep.

Use Seamless less.

Have dates again.

Schedule a vasectomy.



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I’m part of a group of four girlfriends and one of us is getting married soon. Over a year ago she asked the remaining three of us to be bridesmaids. She also has four other bridesmaids, making seven total. We all bought our dresses just under a year ago. Then I found out I was pregnant, and my due date is a week after her wedding. I should have stepped down as a bridesmaid as soon as I found out I was pregnant, but I hoped to be there for her on her special day — and also I was pretty clueless about how the third trimester might go as this is our first baby. The store allowed me to return my dress, and I found a maternity dress that would look nice with the other dresses.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when my doctor decided to adjust my due date to a week before the wedding. I stepped down as soon as I found out; I don’t want to ruin her day by being a no-show. She agreed it would be best for me to step down, and she asked another friend of hers to replace me as a bridesmaid.

My two other girlfriends had offered to throw me a baby shower, and they seemed excited about it, but then they clammed up. I couldn’t figure out what happened, and I asked if they were still up for throwing it. They said yes but that they’d like it to be a very casual party, with store brand soda and $1 frozen pizzas, maybe a veggie tray and a fruit tray also.

They finally told me that the original bridesmaid dress is not being produced anymore and they can’t find one for the other friend, so the bride has selected a new dress and now they all have to buy the new dress, but they can’t return the old dresses since it’s been too long and the store won’t accept them back. I feel terrible that my friends and the bride’s other friends have to go to this additional expense because of me. I can’t afford to replace all of those dresses, though.

The fact is that neither of my girlfriends can afford to throw the baby shower now, and it’s my fault. I talked it over with my mom, and we want to take care of the food, beverages, and decorations, but we know it’s not kosher for the guest of honor and her mother to host the shower, nor do I want to hurt my friends’ feelings or pride. Can you think of a diplomatic way for me to tell my friends that we want to foot the bill for the shower, but I still want them to act as the hostesses? — One Dress, Two Dress

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CIRCLE ICON DW 0127145

This week in the forums we’re discussing:

He’s really nice but not adventurous like me

The Healthy Couple – 30 days

Move anniversary date?

Anyone going on awesome dates?

Regretting my Fart????

Calling out a Ghoster

Young, In college, and pregnant

Gifts I received on our 10th Wedding Anniversary-thoughtless, or am I too picky?

And Baby makes 2!

“How Long Should I Wait to Reply to online Dating Messages?”

I have started to like my roommate who I have been sleeping with

Poll: Using the bathroom with the door open

Follow along on Facebook and Instagram.

If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at wendy@dearwendy.com.



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