TGIF, amiright? I’m glad this week is over and, physically, I’m all back to normal and can move on. Thank you, by the way, for all your kind words on this post. I’m hoping I will have happier news to share in the next few months. In the meantime, I got to enjoy some belated birthday bubbly this week, so, you know: silver lining and all.
This is the last quiet weekend for a while. Next weekend I’m taking Jackson to Missouri to visit my parents, and the weekend after that we have Yom Kippur, a 3-year-old bday party in the ‘burbs, and a baby shower back in Brooklyn. And the weekend after that is Jackson’s birthday party (for which I need to send out invites and, like, plan something). This year we’ll just order a cake for the party. (Last year I was crazy and made a 3-layer — or maybe it was even 4 layers — cake for 35+ guests), but for his actual birthday this year, I’m thinking about making this (because, oh my God, YUM). And I don’t know what the weekend after that holds, but probably more birthday parties since it’s the season for that. And then it’s Halloween and I need to plan for that. Jackson says he wants to be Daniel Tiger which, if you have a child in your life between 2-4, you have surely heard of and, if you don’t, you probably haven’t. So I need to get the costume and shoes (cute little toddler red converse, I think) and makeup to paint his face (does anyone have any recommendations for face paint makeup?). And then we’re in November and it’s practically the holidays and I’ve got to start my gift guides and holiday shopping and meal-planning and travel-planning, oh my god, just pass the wine, please.
P.S. I love that song posted above that someone in my Facebook feed linked to earlier this week. I wish I could find lots more just like it.
P.P.S. I’m doing a fall donation drive next week and will have fun stuff for donors to win each day. Stay tuned!
From Addie Pray: I read this last night and I can’t stop thinking about all the race-related experiences, conversations, or observations I’ve had in life and now I’m baffled Linklater didn’t include a single race issue in ‘Boyhood.’ I’m embarrassed I didn’t notice this blatant flaw when I saw and reviewed and largely praised Boyhood last month. I can’t stop thinking about the various scenes and dialogues that I’m SURE LInklater had growing up that could have been and should have been featured in his depiction of “what life is like for all (white) boys” – even if he grew up in a mostly white environment, you know? “Not Everyone’s Boyhood” [via The Atlantic]
Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to firstname.lastname@example.org and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!
It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.
So this guy and I are not officially together, but I “really really like” him. I’m also really insecure. And last night I got really drunk and accidentally had sex with his best friend. I barely remember it, but, yeah, it happened. I’m a terrible person. I feel disgusting. I hate cheaters and now look at me. What should I do?! — Now a Cheater
Last night, a reader started the thread, “Career Confession: I have no idea where I’m headed,” in the forums. She’s in her early 30s and has several advanced degrees in writing, but after graduating from a Master’s program in 2007 and “watching the bottom fall out of the economy” as well as moving out to a new state without a job, she took multiple customer service jobs just to pay the rent. As a result, her resume is littered with contract jobs, mostly call-center and phone work. Now she’s working at a company she really likes where she was promoted quickly to a managerial-type position. But she doesn’t know where she wants to go from there.
The main problem is that I’ve never in my life taken a business class and all I want to do is to be talking about literature or film or television or theater at a university all day long – and also be constantly reading and writing about it – but that, as I referenced above, won’t pay the bills. Also, I’ve discovered in my short career thus far that my communication skills are highly valuable and produce really great results in a corporate setting and I have a feeling, if I play my cards right, I can use them to my great advantage. I just don’t know how! Would I be good at managing a team of people just because I can speak and write well? I don’t know. And, of course, all of this is hypothetical. I have no idea if my manager would ever even promote me to such a role.
As if that weren’t enough, I also feel like, at 31, I am way behind on the curve and should’ve figured this stuff out years ago. My career has sort of “happened” to me…until now, that is. It’s a privileged person’s problem for sure, but at this age I know I need to begin setting myself up, and right now my whole plan consists of doing the best I can in the role I’m in and looking to move up within my current team. Beyond that, I got nothin’.
I’m 31 years old and just found out I’m six weeks pregnant by my ex-boyfriend whom I was with only three months. I go back and forth between telling him I’m pregnant and getting back together and living “happily ever after”–and terminating the pregnancy. We fought all the time. We could not even get through a weekend without fighting. One time he even threatened to “beat my ass.” He told me: “We are different. You want to run marathons and travel the world, and I want to just stay home.”
He also seems to be controlling and jealous. He does have some good qualities, like he wants to one day coach his son’s baseball team and he can be sweet and gentlemanly (opening doors, playing soft music, lighting candles, etc).
I’m so lost. I don’t have any children yet and part of me wonders if this is my only chance at 31 years old. But I do know I want to parent right. I don’t want to be miserable and I certainly don’t want my children to be miserable.
Oh, and he also would get angry if I didn’t want to have sex with him. He later told me, when we broke up, that he always wanted to have sex with me because “he wanted me to get pregnant.”
I just bought a house with my sister. My ex lives about an hour drive away and I have no doubt he would try to make me move in with him and marry.
Thank you so much for any advice. — Pregnant By Ex at 31