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New York City has been offering up its traditional late-July weather this week, ranging from miserably hot to horrendously humid, and every time I’ve left the house my clothes have been sticking to me within minutes. I finally had to start toting Joanie around in a stroller instead of strapped around me in the Ergo I normally prefer (and, actually, my first preference in a Moby wrap, but I decided right off the bat to wait ’til fall to layer myself in all that warm fabric because the body heat between us was creating small fires everywhere we went.

We have zero travel plans this summer, for obvious reasons, but next year, when we aren’t waiting and wondering when a baby’s coming and we can actually plan some things in advance, I want to get the hell out of Dodge. Maybe for the whole month of July. That’s my dream one day, anyway. I’d like to skip town for most of July and August. Does anyone in, like, Northern California or Oregon or some place with civilized summers (even my beloved Chicago!) want to swap homes and come spend two grueling months in hell? Anyone?? Our place even comes with two cats whose barf you can clean up on the regular. Hit me up for more details!

Anyway, what’s new? Are you on vacation? I think everyone is on vacation this weekend. (Well, not us). Where did you go? What are you doing? What’s the weather like where you are?

Me, I’m getting my thrill by buying cute, new, post-pregnancy underwear since I stretched out all my other underwear with my huge third trimester belly. (By the way, there’s an anniversary sale at Nordstrom for just a couple more days if you want to check that out). Not that I’m wearing the new undies yet since things are still not, let’s say, quite back to normal down there. It’s been like a 3 1/2 week-long period around here (TMI?). Which is not what you want to deal with when it’s ranging from miserably hot to horrendously humid outside, but, damn, at least I can drink a couple glasses of cold rosé now.

Anyhoo, before I say anything else that might embarrass my poor, long-suffering husband — who really should be glad I refrained from discussing my nine months of constipation in great detail — I bid you adieu. Have a happy weekend (and a wonderful vacation, you 98% of people who are living the dream his week)!



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Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

This is both gut-wrenching and powerful: “‘I’m No Longer Afraid’: 35 Women Tell Their Stories About Being Assaulted by Bill Cosby, and the Culture That Wouldn’t Listen” [via NYMag]

Related: “Bill Cosby Doesn’t Think He’s a Rapist. Here’s Why That Matters” [via Identities.Mic]

“Meet a man who has been dating a crowdsourced Internet girlfriend for the last three months” [via Fusion]

“Is There Such a Thing as ‘Ethical Cheating’?” [via NYTimes]

“Those Top 37 Things You’ll Regret When You’re Old” [via World Observer]

This is just a sweet, feel-good story (and reminds me of out holiday book drive: “Boy Who Couldn’t Afford Books Asks Mailman For Junk Mail To Read; Mailman Responds Spectacularly” [via HuffPost]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram.



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It’s time again for Shortcuts. For every question, I’ll give my advice in just a few sentences because sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great that being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go.

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(Originally posted in June, 2013. Re-posting now because the question has come up frequently from LWs and in the forums. P.S. That picture of Jackson below is exactly what Joanie looks like right now, which is kind of freaky.).

Jackson 1 week

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the whole kid thing lately, and I just feel really uncertain about it all. A big part of me is starting to think maybe I might be kind of ready to think about having a baby, but I’m just so unsure about the whole thing. I KNOW I want kids. I know I want a family, but then, when I think about it, I feel like it’s not the right time. However, then I wonder, is it ever the right time?

So, some of my reservations are practical things, like how expensive daycare is, and if my job will let me only work four days a week, and we’ll have to get another car, because you can’t strap a baby on a scooter. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll love the baby a lot more than I love my husband. How will I find the time and energy to care for a baby? How will I not drink for nine months? I’ll have to buy all new clothes. What if I get fat and never lose the weight? Will my husband really scoop the kitty litter while I’m pregnant?

But then I see how my husband acts with the little girl next door, and I start thinking about how great it will be to see him with our kids, and I feel like I must have a baby right now.

So, help me out. How did you know you were ready? — Ready or Not?

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Two quickies in one today!

I met my now-fiancé a year ago. He came from South Africa to work on a six-month program where I live. Within months we knew we wanted to marry each other. He was able to get his visa extended for another six months, but he had to go work in another state, which left us in a long-distance relationship for seven months. That was painful and hard, but we did it. He is now back in my town until this November, and then he will have to go back to South Africa because of the visa laws here. So we want to get married before November so he can stay here and we can be together.

The catch is my older brother is having a big wedding in November and, when I told my parents about my marriage and wedding plans, they told me we were being selfish and sabotaging my brother and his fiancé’s time and will cause a rift with my brother’s fiancée’s family, even though we plan to have just a small private ceremony at this time out of respect. How is there a right choice here? How can you choose between your family’s wishes and your own happiness? — Running Out of Time

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