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Keeping this short today because, like everyone, I have a lot of last-minute holiday-related tasks on my to-do list I’m working on. I’m lining up content for next week since I’ll have Jackson home with me and won’t have time to do much DWing. And I’m planning a Hanukkah dinner with brisket and potato latkes, and finishing shopping, and wrapping presents, and getting together ingredients and cookie-cutters to make Christmas cookies with Jackson (even though the little Scrooge keeps saying, “I don’t WANT to make cookies!”, I have a feeling he won’t mind eating said cookies and maybe helping with decorating, especially when he sees it involves sprinkles and making a mess, two of his favorites), and I have to organize Jackson’s toys and books and box up stuff he’s outgrown to make room for the new stuff he’ll be receiving in the coming week. Also, just to make things even more exciting, the hardwood floor in Jackson’s room has to be replaced because of damage from a pipe that burst a couple weeks ago, which means right after Christmas, everything has to be pulled out of his room so the workers can tear up the floor and lay new wood. Luckily, the work can be done while we’re in Missouri visiting my family, but I’ll have a very narrow window to do Christmas clean-up, pack for the trip, and clean out Jackson’s room (after just getting settled in after our move a few weeks ago). It feels like it’s been non-stop activity for the last few months and I am looking forward to a winter respite in the early weeks of 2015, after we get home from Missouri. And I hope I haven’t totally jinxed things now that I’ve typed that out.

What do you have left on your holiday to-do list? If you’re still shopping, don’t forget about my holiday gift guides, including men’s gifts, women’s gifts, stocking stuffers, and here’s my list for babies and toddlers from last year with a bunch of ideas that are sure to still be hits in 2014.


Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:


“What Happened When I Lived According To The Pinterest Popular Page” [via Buzzfeed]

“36 Things I Know After 36 Years of Marriage” [via HuffPost]

You may have seen this photo floating around Facebook this week. It’s an image Leigh Anne Tuohy, the woman Sandra Bullock played in “The Blind Side,” shared of herself and two young black guys, with a caption explaining how she basically profiled them while they sat “huddled together” at a table in her business. When a friend of hers suggested they were “up to no good,” she went over to “ask what was happening.” Because, you know, any time two young black men are “huddled together,” something must be “happening.” Anyway, you can read the rest of her caption yourself, as well as all the kudos and pats on the back she got from followers for “not judging a book by its cover,” (ha!). But this post, “Leigh Anne Tuohy, Racism, and the White Saviour Complex,” really sums up my — and a lot of people’s — feelings about the whole thing.

This is funny: How to market toys to girls [via Seasonal Depression]

“How Likely Is It That Birth Control Could Let You Down?” [via NYTimes]

Important to think about this holiday season: “Abundance Without Attachment” [via NYTimes]

This woman’s response to nosy people who question her parenting is: “I’ll Keep That in Mind.” Mine is a simple: “I’m his mother,” which I have found works really, really well at diffusing the situation and getting my point across without being confrontational or overly defensive. [via HuffPost]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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After several years of being a single (shared-custody) dad, I have remarried to a wonderful woman. Due to distances in the relationship, my 10-year-old daughter did not have time to get to know her well before the new wife moved in. After a couple of months, the two of them got into a spat about personal items in the shared living areas which ended with the new wife yelling, “I am your dad’s new wife, DEAL WITH IT!”, and so my daughter left my home to her mother’s apartment.

My daughter will not come back home unless the three of us go to a shared counseling session; however, my wife refuses to go because she thinks Americans are addicted to therapy. I have begged and pleaded with her to come to a session so that I can get my daughter back home; however, she is steadfast. Recently I have stated that our relationship is going to be in trouble should this situation persist, but the wife’s answer remains “No, not ever.” I love my daughter very much and the past three months have been torture without having her home. I can’t see any other way to resolve this. I feel like I must choose between being a husband or being a dad.

Any way out of this miserable situation? — Missing my Daughter

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My husband of nearly 19 years and I were separated but close to reconciling when, after an argument, he met a girl on Tinder, 15 years younger than I am but quite unattractive. Within two weeks, she sent ovulation charts, declared undying love, talked of lying in graves in a hundred years, booked a trip to Bali and moved into the hotel he was staying at at the time. Now after six months of seeing each other on weekends only, she has moved into his room in a shared house.

My therapist is utterly convinced she has BPD, and, having read dozens of articles, I agree. He texts me morning till night saying he misses me and his girls and that “it’s not that he doesn’t want my love anymore, it’s just complicated.” Initially, he said this girl made him so happy, he was so in love, and he was over me. And even though he has cheated on her 30 times with me, he told me he would divorce me if I told her. Now he says things like he thinks about me first and last thing everyday but is involved with someone he doesn’t want to hurt.

Is there a time-frame where things will start to get ugly with her? I really want my husband back and I’m beginning to think he has become trapped. Last night, he texted me that he wanted to go dancing. He then chatted to me via text all through the evening. He said he went out alone and was drinking dirty martinis (“our drink” since we first dated), not something he has alone. He said he got one that wasn’t very good and missed me being there to give the barman a talking to. He kept messaging till 2 a.m. and said we should go out when he comes up for Christmas holidays.

He is driving me nuts. I know he loves me, but when will he stop this? — Driven Crazy By Estranged Husband

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picDear Wendy readers are some of the most intelligent, stylish, super cool people around (it’s a proven fact), so it’s a no-brainer to feature some of their favorite products. Many of the recommended products happen to be affiliate products, which means I’ll receive a commission on any click-throughs or purchases you make through the affiliate links. As always, I appreciate your support! Today’s recommendations comes from CurlyQue, who currently lives in Vancouver, WA (right across the bridge from Portland OR) with her boyfriend of 3-1/2 years and their two lovely cats (Booty and Trouble). She is a voracious reader of all genres, and her favorite Portland activity is browsing Powells for hours and then going to Cacao to sip their rich drinking chocolate while watching the rain fall. She is also only slightly addicted to W.O.W. (World of Warcraft) and Dear Wendy (of course). Keep reading for some of her favorite products.
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