Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy
I wrote before (letter #2 here) and you told me to leave the guy because he wasn’t ready and that I should move on. So I did, and once I started dating someone else seriously he came out of the woodwork and said he is in love with me and doesn’t want to lose me to someone else. Since then, he’s invited me to his work Christmas party, has invited me to his friend’s holiday party, and has bought me a very special birthday gift. I’m worried he is only into me now because he thought I was moving on and he got jealous. He said he still doesn’t know if he wants to be girlfriend/ boyfriend. Although he is 30 years old, he has never had a girlfriend and I think he is nervous. He deleted all dating apps, says he wants to be exclusively intimate, and is making a huge effort. I’m just obviously nervous. Should I trust this new situation? After five months of his saying he knows you’re not the one and he doesn’t like you romantically, wow, does a guy just flip a switch and all of a sudden want you again? I told him I was nervous and cautious, and he told me not to worry. Any advice? — Unsure of What He Wants

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Weekend Open Thread

Thanks, again, for your words of support on this post. We got a little good news today on the home front, so I’ll take that as we head into the weekend. Above is one of my favorite holiday songs for your enjoyment. By the way, this is a good weekend for a Bailey’s Martini or three…

Have a good one!

And as you do your holiday shopping, thank you for clicking through my Amazon affiliate link and helping to support this site!

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Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“First it was a story. Then a moment. Now, two months after women began to come forward in droves to accuse powerful men of sexual harassment and assault, it is a movement.

Time magazine has named “the silence breakers” its person of the year for 2017, referring to those women, and the global conversation they have started.”

— ‘The Silence Breakers’ Named Time’s Person of the Year for 2017

Democratic senators to Al Franken: Resign

Senator Al Franken Resigning Amid Sexual Harassment Allegations

This story is fascinating: The Adopted Black Baby, and the White One Who Replaced Her

So You Married Your Flirty Boss. So What?

I hope he wins! Kim Davis Once Denied Him A Marriage License. Now Kentucky Man Seeks Her Job.

This is really sweet: He’s 22. She’s 81. [They Met Playing Words With Friends] Their Friendship Is Melting Hearts.

If Adele’s “Hello” was about Calling Congress

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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It’s been one week since we moved into our new home — what was to be our forever home — and I am legit depressed. We looked for our home for so long, and were — we thought — so careful and thoughtful about our choice. We’d heard horror stories about NYC real estate and we didn’t want to be another sucker/victim/fool. We sought advice from knowledgable people. We retained a really smart and thorough lawyer. We did a lot of homework. But, man, we were really conned. This goes beyond just mold in the walls — which is a pretty easy fix — or regular headaches homeowners have to deal with. We were lied to, cheated, and taken for a ride, and it sucks. We don’t even know the extent of the con or how much it’s going to cost us (in money, time, our sanity). I don’t know if we’re going to stay in this home or in this city. Everything I thought was finally settled is now totally unsettled again and it’s… well, it’s a very unsettling feeling. Ugh.
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I have been in a very committed relationship for almost seven years now; I am a 26-year-old female, he is 34. About two years into the relationship he starting discussing marriage, we started looking at rings, and he brought that whole idea into my head. Years have past, and I’m still waiting. About a year ago, daily comments from people about why I was not married started eating at me. Why did he talk about “when we are married” and “our children” and “our future” and know how important marriage was only to make me keep waiting? Depressed and anxious, I questioned if we were on the same page which he followed with an angry, “If you want to know the truth, I already have the damn ring!” stab that I haven’t quite been able to shake. That was in November last year.

Since then, every vacation, trip, and weekend I’ve tried to look my best, but no proposal. After enduring the pain of my cousin’s AND his sister’s engagements, I’ve almost completely given up any hope. At this point, I feel like he could shove an engagement ring where the sun don’t shine. Ugh. Wendy! I love this man and would be lost without him! But I’m tired of being on his time and his time only! I’m sick of questioning myself, trying to better myself, wondering, wishing, and waiting. I am honestly harboring so much bitterness and resentment that at this point it’s almost as if, why the hell ask me now? I mean, am I supposed to jump for joy if he goes down on one knee? Scream, “Yay, I’m finally good enough! Seven years, and I guess I’ve finally washed enough of your clothes!”? My whole life revolves around his twisted time frame. Over the years there have been several occasions he has voiced his complaints about the expense of a ring and wedding and yet come home with a very expensive, several-thousand-dollar toy or, ahem, “investment.” What should I do? I feel that I am losing my mind. — Tired of Waiting

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