I am positive that the number people think is “too many” sex partners varies greatly not only across generations and cultures, but from person to person. And, really, what difference does it make what other people consider “normal” or what they’re comfortable with? What matters is what you think, what your values are and in what way those values serve as a lens through which you view other people. What matters is that your boyfriend told you something about himself that surprised you but rather than freak out, you’ve been able to step away and see the bigger picture — you’re able to see that your boyfriend is the same person you thought he was before you found out what his number was and that maybe, just maybe, that number doesn’t really matter as much as the way he treats you and how well you get along and how you he makes you feel. I’d say that if you’ve got that much figured out at 21, you’re doing pretty well, and really, truly, honestly, you don’t need other people’s ideas of what’s wrong or right or normal messing with that.
*If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.