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15 Most Annoying Couple-isms

A couple weeks ago, I asked you to share some of your favorite time-wasting websites. I mentioned that one of my guilty pleasures is STFU, Couples, and since I get such a kick out of laughing at annoying couple-isms, I thought I’d share my “favorite” 15 real-life annoying couple-isms, after the jump.

1. Using Facebook status updates in lieu of personal emails or texts to each other.

2. Addressing each other as “babe” nonstop. Call each other what you want in private, but let’s stick to given names when we’re around other people.

3. Going everywhere together. Hey, honey, your boyfriend doesn’t belong at your friend’s bachelorette party. You can be apart for a few hours — it won’t kill you.

4. Feeding each other.

5. Fighting in front of friends and family.

6. Dressing matchy-matchy. It’s fine for your wedding day and maybe Halloween, but that’s about it.

7. Sharing the same email address.

8. Sharing friends’ secrets with each other.

9. Referring to each other as “My Husband” or “My Girlfriend” with people who have met them multiple times and know their names.

10. Baby talk. Gross.

11. Televising their wedding.

12. Long, dramatic good-byes every time one leaves the other for a couple of hours.

13. Bragging about their sex lives.

14. Saying “I love you” at the end of every single phone conversation, even if they just talked to each five minutes ago.

15. Walking with their hands in each other’s back pockets.

What else do couples do that annoy the hell out of you?

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{ 151 comments… add one }

  • avatar Joanna August 30, 2011, 12:16 pm

    16. PDA for the sake of PDA.

  • avatar Kate August 30, 2011, 12:18 pm

    #9 irritates the hell out of me.

    • avatar kittyk August 30, 2011, 12:47 pm

      THIS ONE! I had a friend in college that would always say ‘my girlfriend’ this or that when telling stories, when we were all part of the same group of friends. SO irritating.

      • avatar Painted_lady August 30, 2011, 1:06 pm

        Yes!!!!! I had a friend who used to say that all the time, when I’d known the guy since they started dating. I started feigning shock everytime she said it and shouting, “Oh my god! You’re married?! Really?! I had NO IDEA!” or asking if he’d had to give up his name at the altar. I finally started offering to tattoo the words “I’M MARRIED! YAAAAAY!” on her forehead.

        • avatar savannah August 30, 2011, 1:53 pm

          I’m super conscious about not doing this but it’s a balancing act. Since my boyfriend is not from my normal group of friends sometime when I do talk to them and use his name instead of saying boyfriend they sometimes are like ‘who are you talking about?’ so I don’t wanna assume that of course they have committed his name to memory because that also seems annoying. Pretty sure i’ve already thought about it much more than any of my friends but seeing the comments above maybe not.

          • avatar Painted_lady August 30, 2011, 3:02 pm

            At least in my case, it’s totally different than what you’re talking about – yours is completely understandable. I do the same when I’m around co-workers or my peripheral friends because they never met him and I don’t expect them to know his name. This was a girl who lived in a different city and there had been specific trips made so I could meet him, I would have been maid of honor had they not eloped, and most of our communication was really one-to-one, like the phone or email. And before they got married he was “Jason,” and he had been for a few years, whereas after he was almost exclusively “my husband.”

  • avatar Leigh August 30, 2011, 12:22 pm

    Hate #1. I unfriend those people.
    My ex used to always do #14, and it annoyed the hell out of me. But he would get upset and think something was wrong if I didn’t say it back, so I felt obligated.

    • avatar EB August 30, 2011, 1:24 pm

      I am so with you on number 1.

      The worst for me was when a girl I had known in high school posted that she had JUST given birth( as in like 3 hours ago) and among the comments of “yay” and “congrats” was a three paragraph “thank you” from her husband that waxed on about her giving him the “most incredible gift a woman can give a man” and how he “hadn’t thought it possible to feel for more love for her until they placed his son in his arms”.

      Not only were parts of it so intimate that it made me want to cringe but it’s like dude you ARE IN THE SAME HOSPITAL ROOM can’t you just thank her in person or trot on down to the gift shop and fork over 99 cents and write this in a card?!?

      • Budj Budjer August 30, 2011, 1:26 pm

        Forcing facebook to witness makes it more special.

        • avatar Jena August 30, 2011, 3:22 pm

          and more contrived! i always think those “i love my ____” posts are like, convincing themselves that they are in love, and no one else.

  • JK JK August 30, 2011, 12:23 pm

    Oh God, #1 is the WORST! A riend of mine (with a bunch of issues) was living with a guy, my newsfeed would be full of the lovey dovey crap they’d post about each other all day long, even when they were in the apartment together!!!!
    Thank goodness my husband and I aren’t guilty of any of the above. Well, maybe friends’ secrets.

    • Budj budjer August 30, 2011, 12:36 pm

      I learned really quickly to not tell my friends / brothers in relationships anything I didn’t want their s.o. to hear.

      • Budj budjer August 30, 2011, 12:37 pm

        Pertaining to my secrets that is.

      • JK JK August 30, 2011, 12:38 pm

        Exactly. We know all of the same people, and secrets (in his group of friends especially) are quite juicy! Plus we know that the other is not going to say anything to other people.

  • avatar MsMisery August 30, 2011, 12:24 pm

    #1 bugs me. I watch conversations of couples I KNOW live together on my status feed. I’m like, you’re posting to each other on Facebook instead of getting up and actually talking? One of my friends combines this with #5 and has FB fights with her boyfriend.

    • avatar Rachel August 30, 2011, 12:54 pm

      Yeah, the combination of 1 and 5 is no fun. A married couple I’m friends with is apparently having some marital troubles and are expressing themselves through facebook statuses consisting of passive aggressive complaining and sappy song lyrics.

      • avatar Calliopedork August 30, 2011, 2:34 pm

        Ugh the song lyrics. If you express yourself in beyonce ballads only I cant be your friend

  • Budj budjer August 30, 2011, 12:32 pm

    Haha that list nailed it! Although I would like to add “sitting on the same side of a booth when it is just the two of them.”

    • avatar amber August 30, 2011, 12:46 pm

      i’ve never understood this. it makes talking to each other awkward and i always hit elbows when i move my arm for my drink, fork, etc when we go out with other people and we sit on the same side.

      • avatar Britannia August 30, 2011, 1:08 pm

        My boyfriend and I find it MORE comfortable… idk why, but sitting across the table from someone always makes me feel like I *have* to make lots of eye contact with them, and neither my boyfriend or I particularly like to do that. Also, I have rather poor hearing — if other loud noises are going on, I can’t distinguish something closer to me from something happening farther away, and I can’t concentrate. The music most restaurants play is appallingly loud. The only way I can hear him clearly is if he sits next to me and speaks to my ear.

      • Budj budjer August 30, 2011, 1:09 pm

        It appears we are out-numbered.

        • avatar amber August 30, 2011, 1:12 pm

          haha to each their own i will keep myself and my elbows on my own side of the table :)

        • avatar TheOtherMe August 30, 2011, 1:12 pm

          yeah but sometimes, you just NEED to sit closer, ( like after a huge fight ) sometimes you don’t…I’m on the fence about this one

        • avatar savannah August 30, 2011, 1:56 pm

          I think it can be annoying to the people involved but unless it’s valentines day and you just got dumped or they are into some serious PDA I don’t see how it can bother third party observers.

          • Budj Budjer August 30, 2011, 1:59 pm

            I can’t wrap my head around the reasoning is all. I prefer direct eye contact when I’m talking with people and it seems really similar to when a couple is walking awkardly on a busy side walk with their arms around each other.

            I don’t stare at the couples that do this in disgust until they notice me, haha.

            • avatar EB August 30, 2011, 2:16 pm

              oh wow i am going to get railed for this… but here’s one possible reason/benefit: hands+ thighs+ darkened restaurant/bar = semi-discreet public foreplay… or so i’ve heard ;)

              • Budj Budjer August 30, 2011, 2:36 pm

                Keep those thoughts out of my virgin ears!

              • Budj Budjer August 30, 2011, 2:37 pm

                er…eyes..

              • avatar Jena August 30, 2011, 3:23 pm

                its not semi-discreet, fyi. if you’re on the same side of the booth, everyone knows what you’re doing.

                • avatar EB August 30, 2011, 3:32 pm

                  Budjer didn’t ;)

    • avatar El August 30, 2011, 2:13 pm

      As a former server, I always HATED when couples do this. It makes it extremely awkward to approach the table. Especially once they’ve had a few drinks, and the whole thing turns into some weird restaurant booth love-fest.

    • avatar cdjd0523 August 30, 2011, 4:52 pm

      Or sitting right next to the driver when it’s just the two of them in the car (applicable in older cars with bench seats), even sitting by the window you’re less than 5 feet apart!

  • avatar El August 30, 2011, 12:36 pm

    #11 FTW

    Fuck you, Kim Kardashian. Fuck you and your tacky, fake, made-for-TV “wedding” charade. I can’t even bring myself to watch TMZ anymore.

    • avatar Britannia August 30, 2011, 1:09 pm

      I find it super creepy that she’s marrying a guy whose name is the same, even with the exact same spelling, as her mother’s. He fits so perfectly into the whole ‘K’ empire… frankly, I think they just said, “I choose you,” and he couldn’t say no.

      • Budj Budjer August 30, 2011, 1:22 pm

        Wait, which pokemon did she marry?

        • avatar Britannia August 30, 2011, 3:25 pm

          Kris Humphries. ifk who he actually is; it’s my grandma who keeps me informed about those people.

      • avatar lets_be_honest August 30, 2011, 1:44 pm

        I find them incredibly fake as well. But let’s assume they are even a real couple…its not exactly like they can rename him. Didn’t some Bush relative named Lauren just marry a guy with the last name Lauren? Lauren Lauren.

        • avatar Britannia August 30, 2011, 3:26 pm

          She’s keeping her maiden name as her middle name so that it’s Lauren Bush Lauren. It sounds like a character name on Pushing Daisies!

          • CatsMeow CatsMeow August 30, 2011, 5:43 pm

            LOVE that show.

        • avatar Kalipzo August 30, 2011, 7:20 pm

          Yeah she married one of Ralph Lauren’s sons (I believe), so now she’s Lauren Bush LauRen, emphasis and all.

      • avatar El August 30, 2011, 2:01 pm

        I think the whole thing is a business deal. To be honest, I feel bad for the guy. He doesn’t seem like the sharpest crayon in the box, and now he’s going to be reduced to yet another Kardashian whipping boy (see: Bruce Jenner). Hopefully he grows some balls.

        • avatar Britannia August 30, 2011, 3:29 pm

          I think he was kinda just like, “Oh, a semi-hot chick with tons of money? I’ll never really have to work again? Just keep my head down and my mouth shut and get her pregnant? Sweeeeeeeet.”

          I don’t think he’s the sharpest crayon, either. No intelligent man would let himself get sucked into that family. Poor Bruce Jenner, I swear I think he was castrated. He’s like a gelding — so meek and quiet, but you can see the resentment in his eyes that he’s the only man in the house and yet the women treat him like he’s just something to be humored, like an incontinent puppy.

          • avatar lets_be_honest August 30, 2011, 3:58 pm

            I think he’s an NBA player. OK, fine, I know. I watch the stupid show. Vilify me! I’m already ashamed of myself for it… :)

    • avatar MsMisery August 30, 2011, 1:18 pm

      Just wait until they get divorced. You’ll be back. Moth to a flaaaaaame.

      • avatar TheOtherMe August 30, 2011, 1:22 pm

        hahahh

      • avatar El August 30, 2011, 2:02 pm

        I’m sure the divorce will be just as annoying.

  • avatar kerrycontrary August 30, 2011, 12:43 pm

    omg I HATE #13. My roomate used to either have really loud sex with her boyfriend when she knew the walls were thin (turn on some music?) or tell me about their latest sex adventure (having sex in the car…OOOOOOO!!!!!). I thought it was so unnecessary, gross, and immature for our age group. Yeh I talk about sex occasionally with my close girlfriends, but I do not want to know what your smelly boyfriend did to you last night. Plus whenever people tell me how great their sex lives are I automatically think they are overcompensating for something missing in their lives.

    • avatar Painted_lady August 30, 2011, 3:05 pm

      Yeah, that adds an extra-special layer of violation when you heard it and then got to find out what those noises were. GROSS.

  • avatar Lexington August 30, 2011, 12:52 pm

    Um, I definitely tell my fiance I love you at the end of every phone conversation, but then, I’m always afraid that something bad will happen and why wouldn’t you want your last thing to have said to that person be I love you? I also say the same thing to my family when I’m saying goodbye to them- it’s not super mushy, it’s just bye, love you! Also 90% of the time I address him as babe. When I say Dan, it’s because I’m saying something either serious or really trying to get his attention.

    • avatar oppositeofzen August 30, 2011, 1:00 pm

      I do the same thing!

    • avatar amber August 30, 2011, 1:07 pm

      I tend to have some issues with fear of losing the people in my life and i usually can’t let a phone conversation end without saying i love you for the same reason. i want them to know i love them! but, like you said it’s also not in a mushy drawn out way that i hear some people do….like i love you, no i love you more, every single time they talk bleh!

      • avatar TheOtherMe August 30, 2011, 1:24 pm

        Yes, I think for a lot of women, when they call their S/O’s by their first name it mean they’re in trouble !!

    • avatar Maracuya August 30, 2011, 1:59 pm

      I do this too!

    • avatar SpaceySteph August 30, 2011, 2:02 pm

      I agree with this. Maybe I’m too doomsday-ish but I always think about what if something bad happens right after this. So I say I love you before I hang up, text a nice message before I get on a plane… stuff like that. Also I do things like that to my mom too. I want the people I love to know I love them, just in case.

    • avatar atlimbo August 30, 2011, 2:06 pm

      I do the same thing at the end of phone calls, or if say I’m heading out for the day or he is. It’s the idea that you want them to know and gods forbid anything happened to either of you before you spoke/saw each other again… I don’t know, it’s a comfort thing.

    • avatar Marie August 30, 2011, 3:03 pm

      I do the same thing and his name is Dan too!

    • Jess jess of citygirlsworld.com August 30, 2011, 10:44 pm

      Phew! Not just me then!

  • avatar applescruff August 30, 2011, 12:58 pm

    I have a friend whose husband is deployed and I can only imagine how much that must suck, and I really, honestly feel for them. But she constantly posts on his FB page about how much she loves him and misses him. “I <3 U babe, only X days til you're in my arms again" kind of crap. I blocked his page for a while – but her posts still showed up in my feed. She stopped posting a continuous countdown on her page of how many days til she saw him again after I threatened to submit her to STFU, Couples.

    Email, guys. Or, did you know FB has a private message feature? IT'S TRUE.

    • avatar Katie August 30, 2011, 2:19 pm

      wow you obviously have not a clue how hard deployment can be on couples. Sometimes expressing your love in a public forum is more meaningful than to just have it a secret all the time. Depends on the person and what love language they prefer. Do public marriage proposals annoy you as well? As someone who has been through a couple deployments I find your bad attitude disturbing at the least. I know men who have turned the gun on themself while deployed because they didnt feel the love from back home. I am so glad to hear of a loyal woman showing love for her man while he was away. So you threatened to “submit her to STFU couple?” what a cheap shot that was, she can find a much better friend elsewhere because she deffinately doenst have a good friend in you.

      • avatar ReginaRey August 30, 2011, 2:50 pm

        Sooo, it’s healthy to stay with a suicidal maniac who turns a gun on themself and threatens to pull the trigger because they weren’t “feeling the love from back home?” I didn’t realize a healthy relationship constituted guilt-tripping and co-dependence to the point of suicide.

        • avatar EB August 30, 2011, 3:04 pm

          THANK YOU REGINA. I was upset when I read this comment I could not even formulate a response. When I was younger I was basically held hostage in a relationship by someone who would threaten suicide every time I tried to leave him.
          In addition, I think it is incredibly cruel to suggest to anyone who has been touched by suicide that if they had been kinder or showed more love towards a person then that person would still be alive. NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER PERSON’S HAPPINESS. If you want to blame something for suicide blame depression, pain, mental illness, or an impulsive bad decision.

        • avatar Jena August 30, 2011, 3:26 pm

          Suicidal maniac? Have you ever talked to deployed soldiers after they’ve come back. Nice sensitivity.

          • avatar ReginaRey August 30, 2011, 3:29 pm

            I am absolutely NOT taking away from the plight of soliders nor the trauma and post-traumatic stress they endure. But if someone, ANYONE, is threatening to commit suicide to get you to stay with them or love them, that’s absolutely wrong and unhealthy and you have no obligation to stay in that relationship. It bothers me that Katie used such a disturbing example to justify giving someone love.

            • avatar lets_be_honest August 30, 2011, 3:40 pm

              I think you misinterpreted her comment then.

              • avatar Something More Than Blah September 1, 2011, 1:24 am

                I agree about the misinterpreting. Over-reacting would be more like it. All she meant is that for the service member that is deployed, it’s pretty depressing. My ex-husband is in the Navy and having been thru many deployments, I KNOW this to be true. It doesn’t matter how great your relationship is. If you’re not getting “love” from home, it’s hard. Now, I’m not saying they have to be public lovey-dovey crap on Facebook, but in the case of my ex, he was working 12 hour shifts, 7 days a week on a carrier. It’s grueling. And at the end of the day, you want to know that the people who are still on the other side of the world are thinking about you and miss you as much as you miss them. And considering the divorce rate in the military is 75%, it’s not exactly out of the realm of possibility that if a service member doesn’t hear from his/her loved one on a regular basis, their thoughts get a little crazy. Hence the suicide comment.

                So, anyway, my point is, the comment was probably misinterpretted a bit AND too much lovey-dovey crap is annoying.

            • katie katie August 30, 2011, 11:01 pm

              i absolutely hate it when people mistake soldiers for gods. sorry people, but there are bad people that are soldiers, just like there are bad people in every walk of life. yes, deployments are hard. its hurts knowing that my best friend is set to go back soon, i hate it just as much as everyone else. but can we not attack those that speak about real situations, like Regina here? if someone threatens suicide unless their SO stays with them, soldier or not, that makes them a bad person.

        • avatar Addie Pray August 30, 2011, 5:56 pm

          Let the record show, Regina got some purple thumbs! You’re still my favorite commenter, RR. :)

      • avatar applescruff August 30, 2011, 3:20 pm

        We actually joked about the STFU, couples thing, and I included it in my maid-of-honor speech at her wedding…

        Now if you’ll excuse me I have a meeting to get to with the new coordinator of veteran’s affairs on the campus where I work, and then I need to go home and pack so I can be ready to drive six hours to see the aforementioned friend, help her finish the blanket she’s been knitting for her husband, and decorate their house before he gets home.

        Anyone who would “turn the gun on themselves” while deployed because they weren’t “feeling the love” had problems far greater than someone not posting enough on their facebook.

        • avatar thyme September 2, 2011, 8:01 pm

          “Anyone who would “turn the gun on themselves” while deployed because they weren’t “feeling the love” had problems far greater than someone not posting enough on their facebook.”

          THIS!!

      • avatar ForeverYoung August 30, 2011, 8:36 pm

        Katie – I will politely explain to you why your comment annoys the fuck out of me. First of all, you know a great way to show love from home? A PRIVATE message on facebook. Or how about a care package? Second of all, being a soldier is extremely difficult, being an army wife is extremely difficult, and you know where I good place to get some support? THERAPY. Or how about support forums. You want to know how I know that army support forums exist? Because I know army wives that post links to their facebook page daily about “hilarious” things that were said on them. Listen, if I want to giggle about the hilarious things that are being discussed on support chats, I will log on to them. Third, NO ONES SUICIDE CAN BE BLAMED ON ANYONE BUT THEMSELVES. To even suggest that makes you an extremely insensitive/terrible person, because those of us who have gone through a close relative/friend’s suicide know that you already blame yourselves wondering what you could have/should have done.

        In conclusion, public facebook declarations of love are adorable for 13 year olds. Otherwise put on your big girl panties and realize that no one else really gives a crap about how much more you loved and missed your husband compared to yesterday. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I would rather watch a couple bang in a movie theater than publically declare their love on facebook everyday for a year.

      • avatar Jenny August 30, 2011, 8:37 pm

        Okay, my husband is a Marine, so I get the whole deployment thing. But “expressing your love in a public forum” is NOT more meaningful, it is something people do when they are starved for attention. Just because I don’t post all over my facebook how much I miss my husband doesn’t mean I love him any less. Besides, posting how many days until your husband returns on facebook is an OPSEC violation. Not only are the incessant, attention -starved posts annoying, they put our troops in danger. And yes, unfortunately, there are tragic cases where troops have committed suicide while deployed…but usually that’s because their wife leaves them, or cheats…not because she stopped updating her status with professions of love every day. If you need that CONSTANT validation, you’re obviously not in a very healthy relationship.

    • avatar Jena August 30, 2011, 3:25 pm

      There’s also a “hide” button, which is a lot less bitchy. Just sayin.

      • avatar lets_be_honest August 30, 2011, 3:31 pm

        ah, yes. thank you.

      • avatar carolyn August 30, 2011, 4:03 pm

        Oohh my god you didn’t really read anyones comments did you? She explicitly said she tried to hide this stuff on her facebook.

    • avatar Maracuya August 30, 2011, 4:11 pm

      My boyfriend is in the military too so I do this occasionally (usually on message until it’s a week or two before) but…every day? I think that would make me depressed actually.

      There was this one girl who had her boyfriend ‘study abroad’ in country (is there a word for that?) in DC. And she would post all the time “Three months! How will I live?!” “Babe, it’s been 12 days and I miss you!” Facebook status: Misses her boyfriend so much! It drove me slightly crazy since I would kill to be able to see my boyfriend that often :P I just hid her.

  • avatar Natasia Rose August 30, 2011, 1:00 pm

    I’m guilty of 2 and 14…but it’s really just a reflex to call my wife babe and say I love you at the end of every conversation! I can’t help it, sorry everyone :-(

    • avatar kf August 30, 2011, 1:18 pm

      So, let’s make this the confession thread.

      I do #8 sometimes, and to some extent 14 though we never have phone conversations 5 minutes apart.

    • avatar EB August 30, 2011, 1:44 pm

      So I don’t think it qualifies as #6 but it’s still rather obnoxious. I’m guilty of asking my boyfriend to change out of a red shirt when I was wearing a green dress to a wedding because it wasn’t December and I can’t see those two colors together without thinking “Merry Christmas”.

      • avatar atlimbo August 30, 2011, 2:07 pm

        That particular instance is nothing to be ashamed of; I also have that issue with red/green!

    • avatar Lydia August 30, 2011, 2:59 pm

      Yeah, I do #2 as well, only I call my fiancé “lief”, not babe (we’re Dutch). It’s definitely a reflex.

      • Jess jess of citygirlsworld.com August 30, 2011, 10:49 pm

        I thought it was schatje or something like that…?

        • avatar Lydia August 31, 2011, 4:45 am

          You are mostly correct! Schat or schatje (the diminutive form) is used by many couples as well. Just like in English, there is more than one term of endearment in Dutch. ;)

          • Jess Jess of CityGirlsWorld.com August 31, 2011, 2:23 pm

            Ahh, I see. I spent a number of years living in Belgium and always heard the “schat” one. I kind of like “lief” better though.

  • avatar LTC039 August 30, 2011, 1:03 pm

    When you can’t have a conversation for more than 5 minutes with your friend w/o her mentioning that her bf likes/does/knows about whatever we’re discussing.

  • avatar sweetleaf August 30, 2011, 1:04 pm

    In my opinion there’s nothing wrong with #14

  • avatar Painted_lady August 30, 2011, 1:09 pm

    7 is so creepy!!!! Also, add Facebook to that. Nobody else thinks it’s cool that IT’S LIKE YOU’RE THE SAME PERSON!

    • avatar EB August 30, 2011, 1:27 pm

      I KNOW! Do people not realize these things are free??

    • avatar SpaceySteph August 30, 2011, 2:31 pm

      Ugh I hate when people comment on my facebook status while logged into their spouse’s account and then just put at the end (this is John’s wife Jane btw) or something like that.
      Either you are a) not my friend on your own account, you fb stalker or b) too lazy to sign back in as yourself or c) don’t have an account so you can claim you’re “too cool for facebook” while actually being on fb all the time as your husband. All of which are ridiculous reasons.

      • avatar Painted_lady August 30, 2011, 3:10 pm

        Haha! I’ve gone through an entire fb post to me thinking it was one partner and being EXTREMELY confused only to find out it’s the other one, whose message then makes more sense.

      • avatar Theenemyofmyenemyisagrilledcheesesandwich August 31, 2011, 1:07 pm

        Hahahaha, my boyfriend sometimes logs onto my facebook…. so that he can write horrible and hilarious status updates for me. For example, “___ eats puppies and poops rainbows.” Okay… maybe more dorky than hilarious.

    • Jess jess of citygirlsworld.com August 30, 2011, 10:51 pm

      What about a couples photo as your profile pic? How about when each party has the same couples photo as their profile pic –then when they interact, its like watching 2 sets of siamese twins in conversation. DIZZYING.

      (No offense to conjoined twins, just not a lifestyle most would choose)

  • avatar TheOtherMe August 30, 2011, 1:20 pm

    I do #2 but with “honey”, lame, I know, but I don’t care. I also always address his kids as “sweety” – People should know that they are loved, everyday.

    One other thing that I’m pretty sure will sound gross to others but we only do it in private, when we eat dinner, we make one bigger plate & share. We often do that with a glass of wine too, share. I have no idea why or when it started.

    • avatar 6napkinburger August 30, 2011, 2:45 pm

      Same. I think a “Hon” in public, is totally fine. I can imagine being at a get-together, and my BF is standing, and I’m sitting in a convo, and asking “Hon, do you mind grabbing me a off the tray behind you?”… I think it’d sound weird to me if I called him by his name there. However, if you start a story “me and hon were walking down the street when we saw Tim Gunn…” , that’s just wrong.

      • avatar 6napkinburger August 30, 2011, 2:46 pm

        “a *blank* off the table behind you”

      • avatar Rachel August 30, 2011, 4:12 pm

        Funny, I don’t use pet names with my boyfriend a lot in my current relationship. For instance, I would easily say “Erik, would you please grab me that cup”. But when I think back to my last serious relationship, I almost exclusively referred to him as “hon”. Weird.

      • Jess jess of citygirlsworld.com August 30, 2011, 10:52 pm

        Same here

    • CatsMeow CatsMeow August 30, 2011, 5:54 pm

      UGH, me and my boyfriend call each other “boo” all the time. It started out as a joke, but then it stuck. He also calls me “babe”… and sometimes I call him “beef”. (I figure if a BJ is a beej, then a BF can be a beef, right?) We do so many things that I’m sure other people find annoying… haha we’re working on it…

    • avatar meaghan August 30, 2011, 6:55 pm

      Im gonna start sharing a plate at home and save on dishes!

  • avatar beans629 August 30, 2011, 1:23 pm

    Lol. #15 is so Fast Times at Ridgemont High

    http://youtu.be/nhUfmDGdK7M

  • avatar Addie Pray August 30, 2011, 1:54 pm

    I don’t know why but whenever women refer to their husbands as “my hubby” or “the hubby,” I want to gag.

    • Dear Wendy Wendy August 30, 2011, 2:02 pm

      Me too (but don’t tell my friends that…).

    • avatar kerrycontrary August 30, 2011, 2:07 pm

      ugh same! and I think its really common among new-marrieds. Who refer to their hubby excessively on facebook. so they commit two fouls at one time.

    • avatar Sue August 30, 2011, 3:35 pm

      I hate when women update their facebook saying “24 days until I’ll be Bert’s wifey!!! OMG LOL!”
      When did humanity decide that it was okay to shorten every word or add a y to the end?

      • avatar kali August 30, 2011, 10:57 pm

        Yes! I know people who use the term ‘wifey’ and it seems so demeaning to me. Ugh!

    • avatar RoyalEagle0408 August 30, 2011, 10:41 pm

      Oh God, “THE boyfriend/fiance/husband/whatever” bothers me so much. He is a person, not an object.

      • avatar lumpie August 31, 2011, 12:21 pm

        THIS! Can’t stand it either.

  • avatar Katie August 30, 2011, 2:09 pm

    sorry but I love 2, 14, and 15 and am not ashamed of it. Sometimes I think people get annoyed at others happiness because it reminds them of their own unhappiness.

    • avatar justpeachy August 30, 2011, 3:26 pm

      No, there’s a pretty thick line between sharing happiness and just bragging and most people can easily see where that line falls.

    • avatar Jena August 30, 2011, 3:32 pm

      hand in the back pocket doesn’t equal “happiness.” it equals “15 years old.”

      • Budj Budjer August 30, 2011, 3:46 pm

        Oddly enough, the only time I can think of that actually happening where I had the pleasure of witnessing was freshman year of high school. I was 14 (late birthday)…but most were 15.

      • avatar SpaceySteph August 30, 2011, 4:07 pm

        Agree. How do people walk like that anyways? Don’t you get that awkward, bumping into each other, crooked neck, running a 3-legged-race feeling? The mechanics just do not work in my head.

        • avatar RoyalEagle0408 August 30, 2011, 11:00 pm

          I’ve always wondered that as well.

    • avatar Rachel August 30, 2011, 4:07 pm

      I’m incredibly happy with my relationship, but I still think it’s silly to walk with your hand in your SO’s pocket. The other two I don’t really see a problem with.

      • avatar Elizabeth August 30, 2011, 4:47 pm

        I agree that this is annoying in practice, but it reminds me of that John Mellencamp song Ain’t Even Done with the Night where he sings “You got your hands/ in my back pockets/ and Sam Cooke’s singin’ on the radio…” And I think it sounds cute and romantic. Ha.

    • avatar ktfran August 30, 2011, 5:24 pm

      I’m single. I’m happy. I don’t begrudge others their happiness. But most of the things Wendy mentioned are meant for people in junior high or high school. There’s a time and a place. Use common sense please.

    • avatar Addie Pray August 30, 2011, 5:38 pm

      Katie, are you a new commenter? I’m really glad you’re here because I have a feeling you’re going to annoy a lot of people and keep the dialogue interesting. I say that with all due respect.

      • avatar ForeverYoung August 30, 2011, 8:43 pm

        Haha I was super annoyed by the comment and was going to mention that, but I realized I had already gone on a slight rant in response to her comment above and thought twice in one day was too much.

    • Jess jess of citygirlsworld.com August 30, 2011, 10:53 pm

      Now, now. Easy on the red thumbs. Think about it. She does have a point.

  • avatar Morgan August 30, 2011, 2:40 pm

    Yeah, saying I love you at the end of the conversation is just kind of habit for me; my parents both always do it when talking to each other or to me or my sister, so its just sort of how you say goodbye in my family.

    Actually its funny, my boyfriend is sometimes hard to get off the phone or skype because he talks a lot and is easily distracted, so it becomes me saying “goodbye, I love you” like 4 times before he actually hangs up. Even if he was the one who needed to go in the first place.

    The “my boyfriend” this and “my boyfriend” that thing really annoys me though. Especially since we do have largely the same group of friends. They all know who he is.

  • fast eddie fast eddie August 30, 2011, 2:50 pm

    I can see how some of these things are going to make friends, family and strangers go ugh, but who am I to judge. My least favorite thing to witness is a couple arguing. One the flip side those last 3 give me to warm fuzzy feelings especially saying I love you when parting. My wife and I do this every single time. One time we were fighting and she left for work without it and all day we both thought, what if there’s an accident and we hadn’t taken that last chance to say it. By the time she got home neither of us could remember what the disagreement was. It’s uncertain what will happen every single day and we choose our last words to be I love you. If that offends anyone, too fucking bad.

    • fast eddie fast eddie August 30, 2011, 4:37 pm

      We call each other Babe fairly often, alternately Darling, Honey, Sweetie, Sweet Young Thing, and a number of other endearments. The term has never had a negative connotation to my experience. Obviously the situation sometimes dictates a more formal address and occasionally that lapses into a rebuke. I’m willing to choose my words more carefully if others will reserve their judgment of them. Like that’s ever going to happen…

    • avatar Firegirl32 August 30, 2011, 9:41 pm

      YES! A million times!

  • avatar TheOtherMe August 30, 2011, 3:06 pm

    …”It’s uncertain what will happen every single day and we choose our last words to be I love you. If that offends anyone, too fucking bad….

    yes x 1000

    • avatar PFG-SCR August 30, 2011, 4:07 pm

      “14. Saying “I love you” at the end of every single phone conversation, even if they just talked to each five minutes ago.”

      I thought this one was the only one that didn’t deserve to be on the list. There’s nothing wrong with telling someone you love that you love them, even if it was just five minutes ago.

      Instead, it should be replaced by “You hang up first”, as played out in the Friends episode where Ross and his new girlfriend each didn’t want to be the first to hang up, so they went back and forth with, “You hang up”, “No, you hang up”, “Okay, on the count of three,” etc. before Rachel ended up hanging up for Ross.

      Well, that would assume that couples talk on the phone still…maybe it should be replaced with “You stop texting first”, “No, you,” “No, you stop…”

      • avatar SpaceySteph August 31, 2011, 12:37 pm

        Yes “you hang up first” is the most annoying thing ever. Reminds me of my first boyfriend in 9th grade when we would just stay on the phone for hours even if we didn’t have anything to say. We would both be doing out homework or watching tv while still on the phone just in case we came up with something to say. And then at the end, when our parents made us hang up, it was a long goodbye… even though we would see each other at school the next morning.

        Ah to be young and awkward and totally “in love.” Thankfully I am not 14 anymore, and I don’t do this crap.

  • CatsMeow CatsMeow August 30, 2011, 3:07 pm

    haha…. #6!! My boyfriend and I have done this on accident on more than one occasion. Once, we wore an almost-identical shirt with jeans… luckily we were just hanging out at my place. Another time, we were going to this Hawaiian themed surf party thingie – he wore a Hawaiian shirt and I wore a dress with the EXACT same pattern. We did not plan it at all. He ended up getting the hives that night for some unknown reason so I joke that he’s allergic to dressing like me in public.

  • avatar 6napkinburger August 30, 2011, 3:18 pm

    Sorry, but “STFU, couples” sucks! I love the idea, and i love “STFU, parents”, but its a bad format, impossible to read, way too long and not funny. Was there an “STFU, marrieds” run by someone else?

  • avatar carolyn August 30, 2011, 4:06 pm

    Yes thank you, the format of those websites is terrible!

  • avatar Britannia August 30, 2011, 4:34 pm

    One of the things I don’t like – really cheesy couples’ Halloween costumes. You know, like the one where the girl is the light socket and the guy is the plug?

    Also, couples who refuse to let the other speak to ANYONE of the opposite sex without being monitored. Way to be confident in each other’s fidelity.

    • avatar Rachel August 30, 2011, 4:45 pm

      Aw, I had a friend do plug and socket with her boyfriend for Halloween a few years ago and thought it was adorable!

      • avatar SpaceySteph August 31, 2011, 12:39 pm

        My boyfriend and I are trying for a great couples in sci fi theme for halloween this year, but are having trouble coming up with anything.

        So we might end up being plug and socket, or USB and port or something. Because its dirty but nerdy at the same time.

      • avatar Something More Than Blah September 1, 2011, 1:31 am

        Yeah, my boyfriend and I were salt and pepper shakers for Halloween last year. I thought it was cute! :)

    • Jess jess of citygirlsworld.com August 30, 2011, 10:55 pm

      “Also, couples who refuse to let the other speak to ANYONE of the opposite sex without being monitored. ” —Groan.

      YES!

  • avatar KBobK August 30, 2011, 4:41 pm

    I hate when couples are in turmoil and expect you to be enthralled with their drama… as if you don’t have enough going on in your own life and relationships, you have to be hanging on the future of theirs because how dare you not be upset that Joe was not concerned that Jane’s lost dog is now found. You’re such an ass.

    I also hate when your friends change trivial parts of their identity for their SO… I have a friend that has a new favorite drink with every boyfriend and it happens to always be his drink of choice. It’s like on Runaway Bride when Maggie doesn’t have her own favorite style of eggs.

  • avatar Lamia August 30, 2011, 4:50 pm

    I’m 2, 6, and 14.

    2, is just more natural for me. I call him honey when we’re out though when its just us, its “Muffin.” He love that :P Besides, I HATE my given name, so I actually get upset when he calls me by it.

    6 because we have the same style– black. While we don’t buy the same exact clothes, you can usually find us both in a black band tee or something with a skull and black pants or jeans. Its not intentional, those are just the clothes we had even before we met.

    14 like many others said, you don’t know when your last conversation will be. And if you don’t like it, tough.

    • Jess jess of citygirlsworld.com August 30, 2011, 10:59 pm

      Good point on 2. I think a lot of us have a rank and file in the pet name system, haha. I feel that “honey” is perfectly acceptable in public. In fact, when I’ve been single and meeting new people, that way of people addressing each other has helped me identify who relates to who –and who is single! I think “babe” is slightly more annoying but still pretty acceptable (I definitely use that from time to time). And then the more intimate ones should be reserved for private. In fact, its BECAUSE they are private, that they are special. So I can’t share mine here, ha ha. Sorry.

  • avatar meaghan August 30, 2011, 6:46 pm

    I say ‘love you’ or ‘i love you’ after a phone call because quite frankly something could happen any second and that’s the last thing I want him to hear from me and vice versa.

    I call him babe or love a lot since I call everyone else by their name and he’s not everyone else.

    I talk to him about issues with my friend because I like the man’s opinion, and he has a way of making me see the root of the problem rather than me focusing on the little things

    .looks like he and I are pretty annoying lol we are always touching each other too. Not granny and French kissing all the time, but I keep my hand on my thigh and his hand is usually on my shoulder or rubbing my neck. Seeing that stuff never bothers me. Guess I just like seeing other people happy in their relationships.

    Not saying you need to be like us to be happy or that you can’t go overboard, but seems to me people are turning pretty bitter about relationships in general. Has anybody else noticed that? Like there’s a taboo evolving when it comes to showing any PDA or dependence on your SO?

    • avatar meaghan August 30, 2011, 6:51 pm

      *Grabby haha

      We don’t argue in public. Its a lot easier to do it at home where no one will be able to witness us.

    • avatar ForeverYoung August 30, 2011, 9:03 pm

      It is not taboo to show ANY PDA. There is a taboo of ‘vertical banging with clothes on’ in front of people. If your behavior causes me to get a mental picture of your sex life, it’s too much PDA. If you want to hold hands, peck, hug, go for it. Those are more on the love side of the love/sexual spectrum.

      • avatar ForeverYoung August 30, 2011, 9:05 pm

        Although I might be considered prude about PDA. I was lectured after my wedding that our kiss wasn’t long enough. Call me crazy but I didn’t want my grandpa to see us sucking face. I wanted a “church” kiss – (Wedding Singer) and I get that some people are more comfortable with stuff like that than me. I just don’t like it when other people’s PDA borders on public foreplay.

        • avatar Rachel September 1, 2011, 7:23 pm

          Thumbs up for a Wedding Singer reference.

      • JK JK August 30, 2011, 9:24 pm

        Exactly. I live like a block away rom a high school, on a really quiet street. Every day I have to put up with young couples spending their day doing pretty much everything but actual intercourse right across the street from my house, it’s really inappropriate (thank goodness my daughters don’t notice yet).

  • avatar meaghan August 30, 2011, 9:37 pm

    I ask because my husband and I sometimes get looks and we just kiss or are in generally touching each other. Its not sexual: its affection. I’ve also heard people on campus making quips about nearby couples when they, at least to my view, aren’t doing anything risque or offensive.

    How common is it to see people apparently being one step from sex around town? When I think of that its people humping and groping. I must admit to occasionally giving my man a grope. It feels naughty and keeps the sizzle up! Not in front of kids or old people though awere not shameless.

    At my wedding the kiss was quite the smackaroo! After all it was our first married kiss we had to set the bar high for the rest to come ;]

    • avatar ForeverYoung August 30, 2011, 9:43 pm

      I am probably one of those people giving you dirty looks. Do not grope your man in public in front of me to “keep the sizzle up”. What did I do to deserve that? If you want to spice your sex life up go to a sex toy store.

      I appreciate that you seem to notice that it’s an issue. If you are in a bar past midnight it’s more forgivable, but please don’t do this in any other public place, hoping people will catch you. We don’t need to be eye assaulted for your own pleasure, that is just selfish.

      [note - I am being slightly over-zealous about this topic, and i'm not really that passionate about it, i've just had a long day, and most other days i'm sure I wouldn't feel so outspoken about it - but I stand by my opinion, just know normally it would be more professionally worded]

  • avatar RoyalEagle0408 August 30, 2011, 11:02 pm

    I really cannot stand when couples cannot be apart and then when they are separated, the conversation magically drifts to the significant other. Ugh.

  • avatar Swati August 31, 2011, 12:57 am

    I dunno. I think if the saying I love you at the end of conversations is cute. I’ve done it. I mean in public it gets shortened to a ‘love you, bye’. But I see no problems in saying I love you after every phone call. I think if you want to say it, you say it.

  • avatar Sue Jones August 31, 2011, 11:18 am

    The shared email address is the grossest. I have a (now expensively divorced) friend whose ex-wife would not LET him have his own email address. Talk about insecure and controlling… OR when you are an old ( strictly platonic) college friend of the husband’s, and the wife also has to chime in on every single one of his public FB statuses or give it a “like” etc. As if saying “I’m here! He’s MINE! Me too!” Or when your ex-boyfriend’s wives (they were exes for a reason but we are still loosely connected friends living in different parts of the country) friend YOU (their hubby isn’t on FB) and their profile pic ALWAYS is a picture of the 2 of them… GAG!

    • avatar Sue Jones August 31, 2011, 11:19 am

      Should have read “Ex-boyfriends’ wives as there are more than 1 of them who did this!

      • avatar Sue Jones August 31, 2011, 11:43 am

        And you have never met them before. Now I accept their friend request, since who ISN’T curious about who your ex ended up with, especially if you never met them before and it has been, like, 20 years since you were together, and it is cool to sort of say, “Hey that was a long time ago and it is all water under the bridge and we can be friends now because we are all grownups” but the ALWAYS having a couple pic as the profile pic…. are you joined at the hip?

    • avatar Kristen August 31, 2011, 11:23 am

      I’m with you on the email address thing. I know a couple where the wife insisted they only have a “joint” Facebook profile because she didn’t want him having his own. So their account reads JohnMary Smith, and you have no idea which one of them is commenting on things. So, so weird.

  • avatar cookiesandcream August 31, 2011, 3:46 pm

    Another thing that really annoys me about couples is when they invite you out to hang out and then ignore you so they can coo at each other. If they wanted alone time together then they shouldn’t have invited me in the first place!!

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