As an advice columnist, I receive letters every week from women who are wondering how they can tell whether their boyfriend will be ready to marry them soon. When I check my search engine traffic, “Is he ready to marry me?” is one of the top searches (followed closely by “Wedding Etiquette,” and “Wedding Invitations,” and “He bought a ring but returned it,” hmm…). So for those of you playing the guessing game, here are 15 helpful signs that your boyfriend isn’t, in fact, ready to marry you.
1. You’ve been together seven years but when you bring up the topic of marriage, he says, “Aw, what’s the rush?”
2. His profile on OKCupid is still active.
4. When you ask why he hasn’t changed his Facebook status to “In a Relationship,” he says he’s not ready to go public yet.
5. He refers to the future in “I” terms instead of “we” terms.
6. Your invitation to his best friend’s wedding arrived in the mail and he said, “Don’t go getting any ideas…”
7. He bought a house without getting your input.
8. He says he’s “just not big on labels.”
9. He got you a puppy for your birthday to “give you something to focus on for a while.”
10. He’s hoping to be cast on the next season of “The Bachelor.”
11. He says things like, “You would make a great wife some day,” or “Any guy would be lucky to marry you!” that sound sincere but lack any language that includes him in the scenario.
12. He won’t allow you to come to his house because he worries his guard dog will attack you.
14. He thinks the worst part about a “Bridezilla” marathon is how much it glamorizes marriage.
15. He still hasn’t left his wife.