Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

33 Weeks Down, 7 (ish) to Go

So, the picture above was actually taken a week ago when I was 32 weeks, but I have it on good authority that I don’t look too much bigger this week. I do, however, look quite a bit different than I did at 28 weeks, as you can see. I’m also moving a lot more slowly these days, and feeling a little foggier. I think the medical term is “pregnancy brain”? On Sunday, Drew and I had plans to go to some friends’ picnic get-together at a park in Ft. Greene, about a mile walk from our neighborhood. I decided to make lemon bars to share, a treat that has become something of a specialty of mine this summer. I’ve made them, I don’t know, maybe five or six times since June, and have brought them along to BBQs and picnics, always to great fanfare from everyone.

So, anyway, I set out to make these awesome lemon bars and decided to enlist Drew’s help, even though they aren’t difficult to make, because he’s been showing an interest in being more active in the kitchen, and I want to teach him a few things so he can help with meals a bit more after Jasper* comes. So, we assemble everything and put the batch in the oven and 30 minutes later, I take it out and it’s all fucked up. It’s gooey and burned-looking and I don’t know what went wrong. I glance at the (very simple) recipe to see what I possibly could have missed and realized I never added the four eggs. Oh, the tragedy!! The utter disaster!! Everything would have to be thrown out.

I slammed the pan on top of the oven, ran across the apartment and dramatically flung myself across the bed and wailed and wailed.

“I’m so upset!” I hollered. “And I’m so tired! I’m tired of being pregnant!!! My stomach hurts and I can’t breathe and I have heartburn really bad and I’m just so tired!!! And I can’t believe I fucked up the lemon bars! They’re so easy! I’ve made them a million times. What’s wrong with meeeee??”

Drew was with me by this point, lying on the bed next to me, trying not to laugh. But he couldn’t help it, though; he snickered at me. And then I laughed, despite myself. And then I was laughing and crying at the same time and trying to stay upset so I could adequately convey the seriousness of it all.

In the end, it wasn’t such a horrible thing that the whole batch of lemon bars had to be pitched, because I couldn’t make it to the picnic anyway. It was hotter than Miss Piggy’s tits outside and the thought of walking two miles round trip, plus hiking up a big hill to get to the picnic location and then sitting, uncomfortably, on the ground for a couple of hours and probably eating more than I have room for in my crowded belly, didn’t sound like, well, like a picnic to me. So, I bailed. And I stayed inside and read and worked on a collage I’m making for the nursery, and I tried to nap, but I was in too much pain and discomfort to really relax enough.

Luckily, those types of days are few and far between. I’m definitely getting more forgetful, but I can’t say the emotional outbursts — or the physical pain, luckily — have been par for the course by any means. I guess my recent bouts of insomnia have caught up with me, and the muggy weather didn’t help, and I think the baby was situated in such a way that he was pinching every major organ in my mid-section that afternoon.

But at any rate, I felt much better the next day, and even managed to make it to some friends’ party where there was a tiny 2-week-old baby boy in attendance. I looked at him, and at his mother holding him so proudly and protectively against her chest, and I imagined myself in just a few weeks holding my own little baby boy. And then I tried not to cry. Because it’s all getting a little overwhelming… and intense. Some time in the last few weeks I’ve moved from a place of hypothetical to a place of absolute — indefinite absolute. Everything is about to change … forever. There’s no going back. And it’s scary and wonderful and thrilling and exhausting. And, yes, sometimes it makes me feel a little crazy, too. But what’s life without a little crazy thrown in, right?

Just don’t forget to add the eggs.

*Jasper is my Dad’s nickname for the baby. I think it’s kind of cute.

31 comments… add one
  • avatar

    SGMcG September 7, 2011, 2:05 pm

    Oh, and your hair has gone from this Raphaelite Red to this Tawny Strawberry Blonde. How awesome! Pregnancy is most becoming on you Wendy!

    Reply Link
  • landygirl

    Landygirl September 7, 2011, 2:13 pm

    You look radiant. Good luck to you and Drew.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    lets_be_honest September 7, 2011, 2:23 pm

    I didn’t think I could be more jealous of your red hair, but here I am, jealous of your strawberry blonde hair! Best of luck, thanks for sharing.

    Reply Link
  • Dear Wendy

    Wendy September 7, 2011, 2:28 pm

    Oh, thanks, you guys. I quit coloring my hair when I got pregnant and then the summer sun lightened it quite a bit more. I really miss the deeper red, but not sure I can afford the investment of time and money to maintain it once I’ve got a baby to care for. We’ll see. Maybe I’ll just do a rich red through the colder months and go natural during the summer months…

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      ncp September 7, 2011, 5:50 pm

      Keep the lighter color! It suits you!

      Also, pro-tip. Get your hair cut sometime in your 9th month. You know that awesome, thick, lush pregnancy hair you’ve got right now? As soon as those pregnancy hair leaves your system, that hair will fall out, and become significantly thinner. A friend of mine has some serious bald spots! My vaccuum cleaner would get clogged EVERY TIME from all the hair.

      You’ve got a cat. Unless you want to be dealing with hairballs as well as puke/poop/sleepless nights, you should get a cute bob (which looks really good on you anyway!)

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        ncp September 7, 2011, 5:51 pm

        *as soon as those pregnancy HORMONES leave your system

        (you’re not the only one with pregnancy brain 🙂

        Link
    • fast eddie

      fast eddie September 7, 2011, 6:00 pm

      Keep this color, as in don’t add to it. I think it looks even better au-natural, though admittedly it won’t get quite so much notice, hmmmm.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    TECH September 7, 2011, 2:40 pm

    I’m so scared of getting to the later stages of pregnancy and feeling sick or having “pregnancy brain.” I don’t know how I’d be able to work. Maternity leave should start a few months before the baby comes!

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      honeybeenicki September 7, 2011, 3:44 pm

      My friend had horrible pregnancy brain when she was pregnant with my godson. She forgot EVERYTHING. She was a bit scattered to start with, but pregnancy just magnified it and now she is one of the most organized people I know.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    MissDre September 7, 2011, 2:46 pm

    You really do look so so beautiful! Fingers crossed I look THAT good when I’m eventually pregnant!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Bethany September 7, 2011, 2:56 pm

    You look great, Wendy!! Good luck these last few weeks!!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    silver_dragon_girl September 7, 2011, 3:07 pm

    Wendy, you look great! And now I want lemon bars.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    sohara September 7, 2011, 3:23 pm

    When my sister Maeva was pregnant, another sister and I agreed to meet Maeva for lunch at noon. We were both there noonish (and I’m notorious for always being late.) Maeva (usually punctual) sailed cheerfully in about 12:35. She smiled and said happily “We’re all here!” Proud to be (for once) on time, I looked at my watch and said dryly “Some of us were here earlier than others.” Maeva immediately burst into tears, making me feel like a fiend. People at other tables were staring at us. It was totally pregnancy craziness, but I never again said anything that could in any way offend her.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    sohara September 7, 2011, 3:24 pm

    “I never again said anything that could in any way offend her.” While she was pregnant, of course. Non-pregnancy, fair game.

    Reply Link
  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom September 7, 2011, 3:51 pm

    You’re looking fantastic!!!

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    emjay September 7, 2011, 4:35 pm

    Wendy, I just wanted to tell you that you look wonderful, and are carrying extremely well! Best of luck! And don’t worry too much about pregnancy brain, soon you will be back to normal. And if you do get forgetful after the baby is born you can just say its “Mom Syndrome”! 😉

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Marie September 7, 2011, 4:38 pm

    I always make lemons squares too! So yummy!

    Oh yes and you look beautiful 🙂

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Vathena September 7, 2011, 5:32 pm

    I already have lemon-bar-style meltdowns from time to time, sans child! Uh oh, this does not bode well for me should I ever become pregnant. 🙂 I only hope that if it does happen someday, I will look half as lovely as Wendy.

    P.S. – if you’re not still traumatized, I bet I’m not the only one who’d love to have that recipe!

    Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy September 7, 2011, 7:57 pm

      I hyperlinked to it in the text! But here it is again:

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Quakergirl September 7, 2011, 6:59 pm

    Wendy you look beautiful!

    Reply Link
  • GoState05

    Lauren September 7, 2011, 8:07 pm

    Wendy, you look amazing!! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and the arrival of your little one!

    PS I’m totally stealing “hotter than Miss Piggy’s tits.” I almost died laughing.

    Reply Link
  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom September 8, 2011, 7:28 am

    You might find this article interesting. It’s about new parents being like teenagers who are finding their social group by dating other families.

    http://www.cnn.com/2011/08/16/living/playdate-other-families-parenting/?iref=obinsite

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Addie Pray September 8, 2011, 10:37 am

    Wendy, that there is what I call a celebrity pregnancy – you look great! Hey, I was thinking it would be fun if you could add some sort of “guess the birth date / guess the name” poll. That way when you have your son on, say, Oct. 17, and you name him, say, Noah, then I win! Bragging rights will do.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Allissa September 8, 2011, 11:16 am

    Thanks for the recipe, my son LOVES lemon bars.

    I think the last 6 weeks of pregnancy are so miserable (can’t move fast, can’t sleep well, uncomfortable, indigestion, baby kicks your liver in half, etc.) are so you actually look forward to giving birth!

    Reply Link
  • Jess

    jess of citygirlsworld.com September 8, 2011, 11:21 am

    Really a fantastic photo Wendy. And the hair looks amazing.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    NaturalBlue September 8, 2011, 12:23 pm

    You look great! I’ve been meaning to ask you – what happened to your blog? It disappeared a while ago and I’ve been curious about it.

    Reply Link
    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy September 8, 2011, 12:37 pm

      Oh, I just stopped paying for the monthly fee of having a premium site. It’s still there — though I haven’t updated in a few months — it’s now at: http://citywendy.typepad.com/wendy/

      Some time, when I’m motivated again, I’ll redesign it and re-map it to citywendy.com and update it a little more frequently. I miss it, but I needed to put my focus here for a while.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest September 9, 2011, 10:42 am

        I read a lot of parenting blogs and magazines. I’d love to see something like that from you in the future. Not too many level-headed people out there who can give unbiased, fair advice. I wonder how DW readers would feel about adding in some letters with questions about parenting here and there.

        Link
  • avatar

    MsMisery September 8, 2011, 2:17 pm

    My dad told my mom that if they had a boy he wanted to name me Jasper. I have no idea if he meant it or not of if he just wanted to get her worked up (not hard under the best of circumstances), but she told him hell to the no. I was a girl anyway.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    melikeycheesecake September 9, 2011, 10:37 am

    Gorgeous!!!! Jasper… I love the name!

    Reply Link
  • JK

    JK September 11, 2011, 8:51 pm

    For the pregnancy pains the best thing for me at least was a pillow they sell here in Argentina (I’m sure they have them in the US too, probably with a different name) They’re great for breastfeeding too, and when the baby is a bit bigger for positioning, my 4 month old loves being propped up there (she’d love to sit, but not quite there yet), to watch her older sister monkey around!!!

    Reply Link

Leave a Comment