Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

33 Weeks!

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I hope you don’t mind these pregnancy updates, but, if you do, the good news is there won’t be too many more. Today I’m 33 weeks pregnant and looking forward to being full-term in just four weeks and maybe having this baby not too long after that (Jackson was born at 37 weeks and I have a feeling baby #2 will also be early, but who knows). As you can see from the photo above, I’m getting big. I got a pedicure over the weekend and the woman working on my nails asked when the baby was due. When I told her “mid-July,” her eyebrows shot up and she said: “No! Next week, maybe. You are SO big.” I will be really happy when I’m not pregnant anymore and people no longer feel the urge to comment on the size of my body.

Anyway, I was feeling self-conscious about the way I look, wondering if maybe I’ve gotten too big, so I looked at photos of myself when I was pregnant with Jackson, and I found one where I was 32 weeks along and, yeah, definitely not as big then:

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In fact, I found a photo of myself days before Jackson was born, and I wasn’t even as big then as I am now, which helps explain the physical discomfort and limited mobility I’ve been experiencing lately. I’m trying to be gentle with myself and take it easy as much as I can (as much as one can when there’s an active and demanding 3-1/2 year-old boy underfoot). But the silver lining here is the idea/hope that this baby will be bigger and healthier (and easier to care for) than Jackson, who was a scrawny five pounds at birth and had to spend a couple days in the NICU and then got sick as soon as we brought him home.

Much of my focus these days has been on Jackson and the transition he’s going through. It’s hard not to think of this when his behavior lately has made it The Big Theme of our household. I try to imagine what’s going on in his head β€” how alternately exciting and scary this all must feel for him (in addition to preschool “graduation” and thinking about “big boy school” in the fall). His bedroom and closet are now half-full of baby stuff, including a bassinet that sits in the corner of his room, waiting for its newest resident. He sees me getting bigger and bigger (and bigger) and knows now in a way that must feel much more tangible that change gone come. And as he grapples with that in his little developing brain, he swings from terrible-awful outbursts to really sweet endearing moments (I can only imagine the fun we’re going to have when the baby’s actually here, on the outside). Yesterday morning, after spending the second half of the night curled up in our bed (something he’s been making a bit of a habit of lately), he woke up, rubbed his eyes, and said, excitedly, “Mommy! Let’s turn the pages on our calendars now!!” June, you see, is that much closer to July and the day he finally meets his baby sister.

When I’m not focused on Jackson, I’m thinking now about the things I still need to tick off my to-do list (pack a hospital bag, procure a car seat, launder the rest of baby’s clothes), as well as the labor itself. I’m not feeling terribly anxious (yet) about the labor. Maybe spending a few days in the hospital last month was actually helpful in that regard, like a dress rehearsal of sorts. Mostly, any nerves I’m feeling are focused on the actual logistics of getting someone to our place to watch Jackson and getting myself to the hospital quickly, before the baby pops out (my labor with Jackson was three hours, from first contraction to holding him in my arms, so this is a reasonable concern). I know the pain itself will be temporary, and, with luck, I’ll get the epidural this time that I wasn’t able to get before. And then, she’ll be here β€” this little girl I’ve dreamt of for so long, longer than I’ve known she was coming. She’ll be here, and a whole new adventure will begin. And I can’t wait.

54 comments… add one
  • avatar

    MissDre June 2, 2015, 1:10 pm

    Wendy, you really do look amazing! I’m really excited for you.

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  • Ika

    Ika June 2, 2015, 1:13 pm

    You look so great Wendy!!!!
    I could really kick myself sometimes for not having any decent pregnancy pics of myself. πŸ™

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  • avatar

    inkyboots June 2, 2015, 1:37 pm

    Wendy, you look seriously amazing. I love the updates so I can learn more about the process!

    Also, I cannot believe how many people think it’s okay to make comments to a pregnant woman, much less think it’s okay to go up to a stranger and rub their belly.

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    • honeybeenicki

      honeybeenicki June 2, 2015, 2:04 pm

      The touching a stranger’s belly thing drives me nuts. I’ve had a few people try. I don’t even like when people I KNOW do it without permission (seriously, you don’t own me just because I’m pregnant and you don’t get to touch me whenever you want).

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      • kare

        kare June 2, 2015, 10:01 pm

        One of my friends had the best reaction to strangers touching her pregnant belly. She was at the supermarket asking the people in the deli something related to what she can and can’t eat during pregnancy, and a woman overheard her. The woman shouted “oh my god are you pregnant?” and put her hand on my friend’s stomach. So my friend reached over and touched the woman’s stomach and said “yeah this is weird isn’t it?”. She didn’t take her hand off the woman until she let go of her baby bump. She was on a mission to teach people not to touch pregnant ladies.

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    • Raccoon eyes

      Raccoon eyes June 3, 2015, 10:25 am

      Wendy, you are absolutely beautiful- pregnant or not.
      *
      It is incredibly obnoxious that ppl comment on another person’s size, pregnancy or no pregnancy. It never ceases to amaze me.

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  • sobriquet

    sobriquet June 2, 2015, 1:50 pm

    I think it’s so silly that people talk about pregnant bodies as if it’s the WOMAN getting big, instead of the baby. I had a Gender Reveal party this past weekend and my brother-in-law told me, “you’re a lot bigger now than the last time I saw you!” referring to the size of my belly. I just told him that yep, that’s kind of how it works! As the baby grows, I will grow, too.

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    • honeybeenicki

      honeybeenicki June 2, 2015, 2:03 pm

      I get comments going both ways. Some people tell me I’m getting big and some people are focused on that I’m NOT getting “big”… I’ve stayed at the same weight for about 6 weeks now (I’m almost 32 weeks) because with GD I have to watch what I’m eating, so I’m not taking in a ton of junk. Both reactions kind of annoy me, but I just brush it off.

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    • muchachaenlaventana

      muchachaenlaventana June 2, 2015, 3:26 pm

      What are you having? Is it a baby girl?

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      • sobriquet

        sobriquet June 3, 2015, 3:49 pm

        Yes! We found out we are having a baby girl. So excited!

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  • avatar

    Jane63 June 2, 2015, 1:56 pm

    Ha! As soon as I saw your picture the 1st thing that popped into my head was how little you are. I had no idea you were going to say the opposite. You look wonderful! I think it is just that you are carrying this baby differently than Jackson. Good luck with your last few weeks of pregnancy ever.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy June 2, 2015, 2:12 pm

      Thank you! Yes, I’m excited (and, ok, and feeling a little bittersweet) about the pregnancy stage of my life being totally over. Mostly excited!

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  • avatar

    RedRoverRedRover June 2, 2015, 1:56 pm

    Wendy, I had a big baby (9 lbs 14 oz), and I think he was a lot easier in terms of not being delicate/not having to worry as much about his weight. That being said, I feel like I never really had a “little” baby. I see women with these tiny little things and I never had that. I gave birth to a 6-week-old, essentially (size-wise). He never even fit into newborn clothes, and was out of his 0-3 month clothes by the time he was a month old.
    .
    And yes, it was extremely uncomfortable near the end of the pregnancy. I could barely walk. I was all stomach, like basically from right above my mound (I guess that’s what I call it?) to right under my breasts. Just one giant stomach.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy June 2, 2015, 2:12 pm

      I hear you on that. There’s something really sweet about the little-little babies, though I do think they’re cause for more worry in those first few weeks.

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      • avatar

        RedRoverRedRover June 2, 2015, 2:26 pm

        The big ones definitely feel “safer” in the beginning. Especially for my first! I can’t imagine having a little one like you did, it must have been so scary. If I had the choice, I wouldn’t trade my chubby-wubby for a little one though. He was so hearty and healthy that it made me feel like he’d pull through even if I was awful at feeding him. πŸ™‚

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    • Moneypenny

      Moneypenny June 2, 2015, 2:36 pm

      My nephew was almost 10 pounds! My poor sister! And all of my cousins have had 9lb + babies. Which makes me nervous for myself, someday. Although my sis and I were in the 7lb range.

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      • avatar

        RedRoverRedRover June 2, 2015, 2:51 pm

        The size of the baby is mostly determined by the size of the mother when she was a baby. So you’re in luck! I was 8lbs 12oz, which is on the big side, although not as big as my baby was.

        http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-true-that-if-you-were-a-big-baby-at-birth-your-babies_10323717.bc

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      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny June 2, 2015, 3:13 pm

        Oh wow! Good to know! Whew! πŸ˜€

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      • avatar

        freckles June 2, 2015, 7:28 pm

        Oh thank goodness. I’m tiny (5’1″) and I’m worried that one day when I get pregnant and go to give birth that I’ll have a big 10lb turkey. My husband was 9 lbs, or something like that, but I was just under 7lb. So let’s hope that that holds. Although my mother supposedly smoked when she was pregnant with me, so that might have had something to do with it πŸ˜›

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      • avatar

        RedRoverRedRover June 2, 2015, 8:51 pm

        Yeah, our babies will tend to be bigger than our moms’ because we’re not smoking or drinking, and we’re taking vitamins and eating better, just because we have more info about it all than our moms did. But still, we wouldn’t have been very successful as a species if we kept having babies that were too big to give birth to. I realize we’re stretching our limits, and maybe we’ll get to that point where all babies are born by c-section, but it’s going to take a pretty long time to get there. So we’re safe. πŸ™‚

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      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny June 2, 2015, 11:42 pm

        Good point!! I am 5′-7″ and have hips, so I’m pretty sure it could be in the cards to have a big ol’ baby. Hopefully not a 10lb-er! πŸ™‚

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    • muchachaenlaventana

      muchachaenlaventana June 2, 2015, 3:28 pm

      My niece and nephew were twins and came home at 4 lbs and a few ounces respectively and I had never held a newborn before, like in my life. I was there their first days too so I literally got to her house and shes’ like here take this baby and I was all OMG NO and she just basically thrust my nephew into my hands ha. The funny thing is they are so delicate, but surprisingly sturdy. I love thinking now about how when I first met them they basically fit into my hand… such little tiny nuggets.

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  • honeybeenicki

    honeybeenicki June 2, 2015, 2:01 pm

    Oh Wendy, this made me tear up. I’m having a bad day (for other reasons than pregnancy) and seeing this photo on the main page made me smile. I’m hoping you have a quick (but not too quick) labor and that your little girl gets here safely. I think you’re due right around the time that my cousin is. Maybe she’s due a little earlier? Her due date is 7-6. You look wonderful! I hate that people feel the need to comment on people’s bodies – especially when they’re pregnant and feeling more emotional than usual.
    .
    I can’t wait to hear how Jackson reacts to her once she’s here. I mean, I’m worried about my damn dogs and their reaction but I can’t imagine having another small child at home to have to get through such a transition! Happy 33 weeks!

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy June 2, 2015, 2:10 pm

      Thank you! Not too much longer for you either. Hope you’re feeling well (despite having a bad day).

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      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki June 2, 2015, 2:23 pm

        I’m getting there too πŸ™‚ I feel good (but tired) most days. It’s weird to tell people that he’s due “next month” now. It felt like I had tons of time and now I don’t have all that much. I did read an article called “I hate being pregnant and I’m not apologizing” or something like that on Scary Mommy and it made me feel a lot less isolated which is nice.

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray June 2, 2015, 2:24 pm

    I can’t believe people say you look big – you look perfect to me! Has your doctor said approximately how much your baby weighs now? (Is that something they are able to measure before the baby comes or is it all a surprise?)

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    • avatar

      RedRoverRedRover June 2, 2015, 2:29 pm

      They can approximate it, but they can be off by a pound or more either way. So…. yeah, basically all they should really be saying is “small”, “average”, or “large”. They told me 9lbs and mine was almost a pound more than that.
      .
      Also they use that weight to determine if they got the due date wrong. Since my baby was so big, they assumed that I conceived earlier, and they changed my due date and then pressured me to induce. But I knew when I conceived, and my calculations showed my actual due date was 12 days later than what they were saying.
      .
      So basically they have very little idea, but they act like they do, which is annoying. It’s all guesswork, including your due date. They can only estimate your due date within a month, really (could be about 2 weeks off either way). Take it all with a grain of salt.

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      • avatar

        RedRoverRedRover June 2, 2015, 2:32 pm

        And remember that if they say your baby is early or late, they don’t know with much precision. Mine was born 1 day before the due date that I calculated based on knowing when I was ovulating and when I had sex. Their due date had me conceiving during my period, which didn’t happen. So to them, he was “late”, even though he was actually pretty much right on time.

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      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki June 2, 2015, 2:32 pm

        At my 20 week ultrasound they tried to change my due date on me… but getting pregnant at a fertility clinic on a very specific day made it pretty easy to show what day I conceived.

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      • avatar

        RedRoverRedRover June 2, 2015, 3:19 pm

        Lucky you! I was able to convince my doctor that I didn’t “need” to be induced, but it was brought up several times. There was no medical reason to do it though, so she agreed to let nature take its course. My mom is still mad that they induced her 4th baby, because they were saying how big he was, and he ended up being her smallest one. It was clear they were wrong and there was no real reason to induce.

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      • Ika

        Ika June 2, 2015, 3:22 pm

        That again has to do with the measurements. After the 1st u/s since my babies were both long their estimated due date was like 2 weeks before the actual one, but my OB told me the only one that counts is the 1st u/s (where they hear the heartbeat).

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      • avatar

        RedRoverRedRover June 2, 2015, 3:28 pm

        My baby was long but he was also fat. He was actually perfectly proportional (compared to the average). So they should have gotten the measurements right if that’s the case, but they didn’t. I think it’s just that there are too many variables – knowing the thigh measurement tells you nothing about density, or about head size for example. My baby’s head was huge (not fun!) which adds to the total weight.

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      • Ika

        Ika June 2, 2015, 3:35 pm

        Ugh, my 2nds head got stuck on the way out. Tell me about not being fun hahaha

        I’m with you on big babies being less scary though. When Friends insist I hold their Little babies I’m always scared I’ll drop them or something.

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      • avatar

        RedRoverRedRover June 2, 2015, 3:42 pm

        I had to have an episiotomy due to that big head. πŸ™ Luckily I avoided the C-section, which they were also talking about, and I really didn’t want.

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      • Ika

        Ika June 2, 2015, 3:45 pm

        Yeah, my dr was trying to avoid another episiotomy. But her head was NOT coming out. So, lucky me, I have 2 scars :s

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      • avatar

        RedRoverRedRover June 2, 2015, 5:57 pm

        You needed an episiotomy on the second one too??? Ugh, I was hoping that after giving birth once everything would be stretched enough that the second would come out easier.

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      • Ika

        Ika June 2, 2015, 7:15 pm

        If it weren’t for her head getting stuck I wouldn’t have. But we were struggling for several minutes. The 2nd one actually healed a lot faster than the 1st (the 1st was toward the side, the 2nd toward the back).

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy June 2, 2015, 2:37 pm

      Well, three weeks ago when I had an ultrasound, the baby was weighing 3 1/2 pounds and I was told she’s gaining an average of half a pound a week now, so I guess she’s about 5 pounds this week.

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    • Ika

      Ika June 2, 2015, 3:20 pm

      They average it with the u/s. The day before M was born the obsaid she was weighing around 3.6 kg. She ended up weighing 4.15. It depends on the measurements of the thigh, iirc. And since she was (is haha) a long skinny thing it looked like she was weighing less.

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  • avatar

    Laura Hope June 2, 2015, 2:30 pm

    It looks like you’re carrying differently. The pregnancy weight was more evenly distributed last time. This time it’s all in your belly.I think you look fabulous! Healthy and glowing!

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  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny June 2, 2015, 2:39 pm

    You look fantastic Wendy! And I agree with Laura Hope- It looks like you’re carrying differently, like you have a large basketball under your dress. (My non-graceful way of putting it…) I hope to look as fab as you do if/when I ever get pregnant. πŸ™‚

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  • Portia

    Portia June 2, 2015, 2:44 pm

    Wendy, when I saw this pic on Instagram my first thought was, she looks fantastic! It does look like the belly is bigger this time compared to your overall size, looking at that picture from Jackson’s pregnancy. Seriously, though, you look awesome!

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  • mylaray

    mylaray June 2, 2015, 3:10 pm

    You look lovely, Wendy. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly.

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  • avatar

    booknerd June 2, 2015, 3:37 pm

    You look amazing, Wendy!

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  • coconot

    coconot June 2, 2015, 4:08 pm

    Okay sorry to add more comments about your body, but when I just saw the pic before I read the text, I was honestly thinking damn, she’s looking really good for someone so pregnant! I agree with Laura and MoneyPenny: comparing the two pictures, I don’t really see you looking “bigger” now. Your belly has popped a bit more but you actually look slightly thinner otherwise.
    .
    On a semi-related note, this reminded me how over the weekend I was running around the Reservoir, and this thin girl passed me and I didn’t take much notice, but when we rounded the corner I realized she was probably 6+ months pregnant, you just couldn’t tell at all from the back. I then became quite concerned about how out of shape I am — hopefully she is just in amazing pregnancy shape.

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark June 2, 2015, 6:15 pm

    Wow?! Already? Time is flying by… Looking good!

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  • avatar

    Sarah June 2, 2015, 8:13 pm

    You are looking great Wendy! Congratulations!

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  • FireStar

    FireStar June 2, 2015, 10:01 pm

    You look beautiful. Truly. Here is hoping your little sweet pea’s arrival is on time and easy.

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  • avatar

    d2 June 2, 2015, 11:18 pm

    You look great! I hope the next few weeks aren’t as rough as the last.

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  • avatar

    cyndi June 3, 2015, 7:01 am

    Wendy, you look great! I had my children 16 years apart, gained 40 pounds for both and definitely looked bigger for my second one. I couldn’t see my feet for the last 6 months of my second pregnancy! Hang in there.

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  • avatar

    Taylor June 3, 2015, 9:07 am

    You look just lovely Wendy!

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  • Lianne

    Lianne June 3, 2015, 10:06 am

    I think you are all belly! So, yes, big because there is an almost fully baked baby in there, but not BIG big πŸ™‚
    *
    You do look amazing though. Pregnancy suits you!

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