Then a month later in September he had a stroke (no damage to his brain) and he had to stop working for a while to get some rest. So he went away to his father’s cottage where it was impossible to get in touch (no reception for cellphones). Finally, he called me one day in October and told me that he’d been in jail for six days waiting to see a judge who decide if he could get bail. His ex-girlfriend had charged him for harassment. She owes him money and didn’t want to re-pay him. He called and sent her emails for a while, and she wanted him to stop. According to her, he broke one condition and was arrested. The next court hearing is in three weeks.
He was devastated, for more than two and a half months, didn’t want to see me. During that time, his oldest brother, to whom he was very close, died. But we kept in touch almost every day. Then he wanted to see me on Christmas Eve, and I went to his place. Since then, we have been together three times, and I find he is not the same guy he was. He is not happy and he is scared for the future. He works all the time to earn more money because the accusations from his ex have cost him a lot. He is tired and I am afraid for his mental health.
I think he’s afraid to lose me because he doesn’t show me his feelings like he used to. We still have that sexual bond, but that’s not enough for me. I need his affection and more of his presence in my life. I really love him and I would like to have a future with him, but I don’t know if I should wait for him anymore. Should I let him go and go on with my life? — Afraid for His Mental Health
I think we can add another item to our list of red flags one should not ignore: he’s in jail for harassing an ex-girlfriend. Gurrrl, no. You need to MOA. He’s in jail for emailing an ex! No one goes to jail for sending a couple of emails. There’s a back story here. There’s probably a restraining order in place that he violated, and just imagine what had to have happened to make that a thing. And you really believe he had a stroke and had to go recuperate at his father’s cottage where he has no cell reception and then, just a couple weeks later, he’s in jail? Hmmm, I don’t think so. The “no cell phone reception” was a lie to get you off his back while he harassed another woman to the point of getting thrown in jail. Let that sink in for a minute. He lied to you so he could harass another woman without your bugging him. You think he’s not showing his feelings for you because he’s afraid to lose you?! Um, no. He’s not showing feelings for you because there aren’t any. He uses you for sex to relieve the stress and tension he’s experiencing over being arrested and facing prison for harassing another woman.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at [email protected].