Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

8 Secrets for a Happy Marriage


I scoured the internet for the best marriage tips and selected eight of my very favorite. Follow these tips below and you’ll have a fighting chance to make it to the 65th wedding anniversary. Unless you screw up on #2, in which case, you might want to call it a day and MOA.

1. Connect at the End of the Day
Connecting again at the end of the day, sitting down without distractions, is the secret of Terry and Jane’s happy marriage. [They] have spent together over 24 years having a sunset picnic together every evening on the Brooklyn Promenade. [via Cup of Jo]

2. Don’t Marry an Asshole
“We just celebrated our 20th anniversary … mostly the secret is don’t marry an asshole. If a person says rude and mean things to you or to their parents or to waitstaff, then the person isn’t relationship material. Hold out for someone who is a decent human being and you can’t go wrong.” [via Reddit]

3. Outsource the work you hate to do
“If there’s some chore you both hate, and you can afford it, outsource. This can mean buying a dishwasher, or getting a neighbor kid to mow the lawn for a few bucks. Whatever you pay is probably worth avoiding a marriage full of arguments and resentment over who’s turn it is to deal with it.” [via Reddit]

4. Keep Having Sex
Just do it. [via everyone, basically]

5. Have a weekly meeting
Everyone knows you’re supposed to have regular dates with your spouse to keep the spark alive, but “weekly meetings are important, too. “Taking the time to schedule a regular, quiet, uninterrupted discussion to figure out who was doing what helped ease anxiety about household tasks and eliminated loose ends (like: Oh, wait, I thought you were taking care of that).” — via Adam, a professor at University of Pennsylvania

6. Celebrate the small stuff and the big stuff
“Find as many reasons to drink champagne and celebrate together as you can. Is it your 7 year, 5 month anniversary? Cheers! No cavities at the dentist? Mazel Tov! Your brother is leaving his deadbeat wife? Celebrate discreetly, but still: hooray! Making it a point to celebrate, and to celebrate together, brings you together in the search for joy amidst the drudgery of daily life.” – Dear Wendy

7. Say Thank You
“We found that feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage, how committed you are to it, and your belief that it will last,” — Ted Futris, associate professor at the University of Georgia and co-author of a study on happy marriages.

8. Do Your Own Thing
“Doing your own thing, having your own friends, being completely insanely passionate about something that the other person has no idea, really, about, is awesome. It allows your spouse to be your cheerleader, uncomplicated by knowledge or personal investment. And it means you’ll always have stuff to talk about, because you’re not overlapping all the time. You don’t have to read the same books either. You don’t have to have the same friends.” — Lydia Netzer

2 comments… add one
  • Lianne

    Lianne October 31, 2017, 1:49 pm

    I can’t help but wonder if there was an actual brother leaving deadbeat sister 🙂

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    • Lianne

      Lianne October 31, 2017, 1:49 pm

      sister in law!

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