Afternoon Quickie: “He Says He Doesn’t Want Anything Serious”
I’ve been seeing a guy for six months now. When we first met, he had just found out that his girlfriend had cheated on him and so he broke up with her. This was the second girlfriend he’s had cheat on him, so I knew from the beginning what I was getting myself into. But now, I spend most every night at his place, all of his roommates and friends know that we’re a thing, we regularly go out to eat together and he’s okay with PDA when we go out to parties. Yet, we had a talk last night, and he says he’s still not ready to be in a relationship. We agreed we’re exclusive, but he says he’s not ready to deal with the pressures of a relationship and, since he’s been in a relationship most of his college career, he can’t handle anything serious. I know he really likes me, but I don’t know how much longer I can handle this situation, and I feel like I should maybe just let him be single and figure things out. Should I continue to do what I’m doing or cut my losses now and just stay friends? — Questioning the Labels
If you’re exclusive, but he’s telling you he’s “not ready to deal with the pressures of a relationship,” that’s code for “This could end at any time, so don’t start thinking we’re going to, like, move in together after graduation. Also: I might want to sleep with someone else.” If you want more than that, MOA. If you enjoy his company and are OK with being temporary enjoyment for each other until something/someone else comes along, then relax and enjoy the ride. (Just don’t expect anything more than a good time).
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