I have always introduced her as my fiancée and am proud of her. Am I wrong with my concerns with the way she introduces me? — Her Fiancé, Not Friend
No, you’re not wrong; it’s weird. It would be one thing if she simply introduced you by your name, as she did with Steve, her ex, but to qualify your relationship to her by calling you her “friend” when you are actually her fiancé is suspect. I’m curious: Does she refuse to wear an engagement ring, too? You’ve explained why you’d like her to address you as her fiancé, so now you need to ask her why she prefers not to.
If your relationship is otherwise strong, I would simply tell her you wish to be introduced as her fiancé or simply by your name alone with no qualifier (people will figure out pretty quickly what your relationship is). But if this is a sign of cracks in the relationship, I’d definitely hit the pause button and re-evaluate your engagement. After all, there’s a reason she has two divorces under her belt, and it’s possible that part of the problem in past relationships was a fear or dislike of commitment or giving up any of her independence (which would explain the hesitation to call someone her husband or fiancé anyway). If you don’t know why her previous two marriages failed, this would be an ideal time to find out.
At any rate, you two definitely need to communicate a bit more before you head down the aisle.
If you have a relationship/dating question I can help answer, you can send me your letters at firstname.lastname@example.org.