New Here? Welcome! You can read some of the most popular posts from Dear Wendy here. You may also want to subscribe to my weekly newsletter to receive free updates, or follow me on Facebook for more relationship tips. Thanks for visiting!
Last week I wrote an essay about the effect having a baby has had on my friendships. This week, guest columnist, Sara, writes from the other perspective — that of the childless friend/ family member — about the way babies have changed her friendships.
Some very important babies have entered my life in the last six months: my sister-in-law had a son; my sister had identical twin daughters; and my best friend had a son. I am a researcher, and I prepared for changes in my relationships with these women the only way I know how: with a literature review. Most of the information I found was written by new moms, and most of the literature focused on how new mothers’ friends just don’t understand the awesome responsibility (and time-suck) it is to be a parent. Fair enough. As a childless woman, I don’t understand what it means to be a mom. I wonder, though, do my friends with newborns know what it’s like to be “the childless friend”? I’d like to share what that experience has been like and how new moms can make it easier — and enjoyable — for their childless friends to stay connected to them. [Click to continue]
by Wendy on May 16, 2012
· in Essays,Getting Personal,Guest Column
Read the full article...
It’s not an exaggeration when I say that one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and certainly one of the best parent-related decisions, was to start a new moms’ group shortly before Jackson was born. A month or so before my due date, I put a message up on my neighborhood parenting listserv asking if any other women expecting fall babies would like to meet and perhaps continue meeting through the initial months of new motherhood. I expected a few responses, but, within days, my email box was flooded with replies. We set a date and a few of us met for dinner, a gaggle of 8- and 9-month pregnant women ordering pizza and eyeing the wine list longingly.
Two days later the first of us went into labor. Two days after that another one had her baby, and a few days later Jackson was born. Over the next two months, there was another baby born almost every week, and additional women joined our group as word spread. By December, there were over 20 of us (plus our babies) and many of us had begun meeting for weekly lunch potlucks, going for walks in the park on warmer days, getting coffee, going to baby-friendly bars for happy hour, and hanging out at each other’s homes as our tiny children grew from newborns into smiling, laughing, drooling little infants. [Click to continue]
by Wendy on April 18, 2012
· in Essays,It's Personal,Parenthood
Read the full article...
Jackson turns six months old on Monday — the same day his father turns 42. Six months ago, he was a tiny, itty bitty thing — only five pounds! — with thin, wrinkled skin, and nothing where his eyelashes and eyebrows would eventually grow. He almost fit into the palm of my hand and for the first three weeks of his life, I worried that he could stop breathing at any time. At night, instead of sleeping, I hovered over him, watching his chest rise and fall, willing myself to stay awake in case he needed me.
His father, of course, was right there beside us, staying awake through the night, bottle-feeding Jackson and changing his diapers, grinning ear-to-ear through the fog of sleep deprivation. He had waited so long to become a dad and as excited as he was to find me, to fall in love and become a husband, fatherhood was the topping, the thing that gave his life its richest meaning. And, boy, does he love it. [Click to continue]
by Wendy on April 6, 2012
· in Essays,It's Personal,Parenthood
Read the full article...
Today’s guest essay comes from “His Take” contributor, Dennis Hong.
I hate breaking up with someone. I really do. Call me spineless, tell me to grow a pair, I get it. I just have this need to be the “good guy” (or at least deceive myself that I am). I feel better when I’m the poor sap who gets broken up with, rather than the a-hole who dumps an awesome girl.
To that end, I’ve come up with some pretty devious ways to get a girl to break up with me. When I’m ready for the relationship to end, but don’t want to pull the slow fade or stop calling altogether (remember, I’m trying to be the good guy here), these devastatingly effective strategies get her to do all the dirty work for me:
[Click to continue]
by Wendy on March 28, 2012
· in Essays,Getting Personal,Guest Column
Read the full article...
