From the Mailbag: “An Advice Column is Not the Place for Political Pontification”

I haven’t done a “From the Mailbag” post in a while and today I have not one but two letters from my inbox to share. Both writers take issue with the same column — “Where Can I Find a Decent, Much Younger Woman?” — and for the same reason: They argue that, as an advice columnist, my job is to strictly give advice and not to pontificate on politics. In short: I should stay in my lane. In a shock to probably no one, both of these LWs are dudes, and one must assume new DW readers. I’m sharing their letters unedited. Dear Wendy, First of all disclaimer!! I give you the…

From the Mailbag: “You Can Decide How to React to What You Have”

Hi, Wendy, I notice that you get a lot of questions about the holidays, usually along the lines of my kids/in-laws/parents are RUINING Thanksgiving! Last November none of our kids could get home for T-giving. I was wrecked. It really, really hurt. We have four kids — three had to work and one had a new baby. I mean, I understood, but it hurt. I decided that for once, I was going to do exactly what I wanted: go out to an expensive restaurant and have a big meal that I didn’t have to cook for/clean up after. I also gave myself permission to NOT feel guilty spending a lot of money…

From the Mailbag: “Isn’t Life Boring and Lonely Without a Relationship?”

In answer to the letter titled “How do I know if I absolutely want kids?” posted on Oct 11th, you wrote: “Without Woman A or Woman B, you can still have a rich and full life ahead of you. You don’t even have to have a long-term relationship to enjoy the second half of your life although there is certainly something to be said for the companionship and care and love such a relationship provides.” I found this answer surprising! If you don’t have a long-term relationship in the second half of your life (say after 45) isn’t it boring or lonely? Very lonely? What do you do if you don’t have…

From the Mailbag: “I’m Going to Move for Love, Despite Your Advice Not To”

I felt compelled to write you and offer an alternative ending to the “8 Things You Need to Do Before You Move For Love” article. Comments appear to be closed. I am a happy Los Angeles woman. I’ve lived on the beach for most of my adult life. My grown child lives in LA, about to graduate from college. I love the climate, I love my city, I love the personality of the beach town I live in, I love our culture, I love our ethnic polyglot. I don’t mind the traffic nor even the risk of earthquakes. I’ll gladly take the perhaps of an earthquake over the certainty of winter. Here…

From the Mailbag: “Men Don’t Own Women’s Bodies!!”

Dear Wendy, You had a “Your Turn” column entitled “My Hot Wife Refuses to Dress Sexy.” Some of the responses were quite troublesome and irresponsible. I am the “wife” in a situation like this. My husband says I don’t dress up, I won’t have sex with other people while he watches, and I don’t care about his feelings, etc., etc. Which is all bull! What he means is I won’t do it every single night or on demand. Women have a right over their own bodies. They have a right to say no and all this post did was highlight how many people out there believe that, once you are married, your…

From the Mailbag: “It’s Wrong to Go to a Wedding Without Your Significant Other”

I just read your article from 2011, “I’m Pissed that My Boyfriend is Going to a Wedding Without Me,” and have no idea if your blog still exists, but if it does, I wonder if you would revisit this topic. You said that the boyfriend, who wasn’t granted a plus-one to a wedding he was invited to, had to choose the lesser of two evils when deciding whether to attend the wedding without his girlfriend or decline the invitation, and that he should go to the wedding. But all of the arguments you made for the boyfriend to go — it’s just a one-day affair, and upsetting the girlfriend in the short-term…

From the Mailbag: “Men are Pigs!”

It’s been a while since I posted one of these and this one is too good not to share: I read your advice about the jealous girl sick of her boyfriend watching movies etc. I completely disagree with you the movies are boast and mainly contain playboy models. Men are pigs who mentally cheat all day everyday. As far as I can tell men are in cap a able of feeling love. All they feel is a hard on. Dont think for a minute your own douchebag husband or bf wouldnt trade you for one of those women in a second. All that matters to them is images on TV the computer…

From the Mailbag: “I Feel Attacked”

I received this letter from a reader last week following the advice I gave to the grad student who felt back-stabbed by her classmate. I really like the co-worker advice you gave. It was useful and brought up really valid perspectives in the comment section. However, I noticed that any time a Gen Y LW gets published on your blog the community gets extremely critical because of the stereotyped assumption that any and all Gen Y babies are entitled, passive brats [or something]. I understand the critique, but as a Gen Y “baby” myself, from my perspective, I can tell you this is entirely unproductive. I’ve been a reader of DW for…

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