Weekend Open Thread

I’ve had lots of great experiences as a new mother, but one of the better ones has been getting to see my own mother become a grandma. Sadly, we live far apart (my parents live in Germany) and don’t get to see each other very often, but we keep in touch through emails, phone calls, and occasional Skype sessions. I also send my parents tons of videos and pictures to keep them up-to-date on all of Jackson’s new tricks.

The photo above was taken the moment my mom and my baby met each other for the first time. It was a few days before Christmas — the first night of Hannukah — and my parents had just arrived to New York after a grueling 20-hour commute from their home in Germany (including a long delay). It was late and they were tired, especially my mom who was still recovering from knee replacement surgery a few weeks earlier, but they didn’t want to wait any longer to meet their first grandbaby. So they dropped off their bags at the motel, took a cab to our place, walked up the three flights of stairs to our apartment, and finally got to hold Jack in their arms.

This will be my first Mother’s Day with a child of my own and even now, after only seven months, I have so much more appreciation for the sacrifices my own mom made to raise me and my sister. She put her teaching career on hold and stayed home with us until we started school. She threw the best birthday parties, and took cake-decorating classes so she could make us amazing cakes every year. She encouraged me at a very young age to write. I’d come home from school and tell her all the stories of my day and she’d say, “Write it down, Wendy, write it down!” She read to me every day. One of my favorite childhood memories was the year she read the whole Little House on the Prairie series to me.

I don’t know what my mom’s dreams for me were (other than me becoming a writer one day). I don’t know whether I’ve turned out like she hoped or if I’m something different altogether. I do know she likes this site and that she’s been one of my biggest supporters since day one. Not only does she read the site every day, she’s my unofficial copy editor, too. (She’s not always able to edit columns before I post them, so don’t blame her if there’s an error before she has a chance to correct it!). She reads the site so much, she talks about some of you commenters by name. She knows your stories. She roots for you. She notices when a regular hasn’t been around in a while and worries.

This Mother’s Day — my first since becoming a mom myself — I honor my own my mom and the love and support she continues to provide. I honor my mother-in-law whom I never got to meet. She passed away when Drew was young and I know she would be so proud to see the kind of men and fathers her sons grew up to be. And I honor those of you who are also missing your moms this weekend.

If you want, please share some of your favorite memories of the women who raised you, what you love about being a mom, and what your plans are this Mother’s Day.

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by Wendy on May 11, 2012 · in Weekend Open Thread

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Happy Friday, everyone! Even though Monday was a travel day for me, it still seems like it’s been a long one. There was all that drama earlier in the week, Drew’s had to work late a couple of times leaving me alone to put Jackson to bed (which makes for looonnnngggg days), the weather has been super shitty in the northeast, and for the love of God, Jackson is still working on popping his first tooth which entails endless screaming and crying (and the baby’s been fussy, too. Holla!).

In lighter news, we booked a beach vacation to the Dominican Republic for next month — our first true vacation in over a year — and I’m so excited. It’s been several years since we just lounged around on a beach for a few days and that’s exactly the kind of escape I’m craving right now. Drew won’t be going to London to cover the Olympics after all, so we’re heading to the surf instead. I foresee many drinks with little umbrellas in my not-so-distant future.

As for the more immediate future, this weekend is a special one. Saturday is not only the Kentucky Derby, and Cinco De Mayo, it’s also my mom’s birthday, and the six year anniversary of my first date — a blind date — with Drew. We’ve got a babysitter booked and reservations made at some fancy sushi place in Williamsburg. Who knows, maybe we’ll even manage to stay out past nine.

And what about you? Any big weekend plans? Have you made any summer travel plans yet? Do you celebrate “first date” anniversaries? Discuss.

[photo via]

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by Wendy on May 4, 2012 · in Weekend Open Thread

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By the time this is scheduled to post, Drew, Jackson, and I will be boarding a flight to Austin, Texas to attend a friend’s wedding and visit my sister. I don’t think my friend would mind me telling you that the man she’s marrying is an old high school acquaintance whom she reconnected with on Facebook several years ago (so, there, Facebook IS good for something!). They both grew up in Texas and he still lives in the state, albeit in a different city now, while my friend has spent the last seven years pursuing a PhD at Columbia. Their relationship has been, for the most part, long distance until just a few weeks ago. As someone who successfully navigated a long distance relationship-turned-marriage, I’m so excited for them and wish them lots and lots of happiness.

Anyhow, their whole situation brings up several open-thread-worthy discussions. First, have any of you reconnected with old friends or former flames on social media sites and had love blossom? Second, who else has successfully turned a long distance relationship into a marriage or happy live-in coupledom? What challenges did you face and how did you work through them? Finally, since this will be my first — and likely only — wedding of the season this year, let’s talk favorite wedding memories you have as either a guest or participant. (Sadly, I missed both weddings I was invited to last year due to hospital stays from pregnancy complications. I would definitely not count those as “favorite wedding memories,” though I won’t likely forget the experiences for a while).

Also! Reminder that there will be a DW Meetup in Austin on Sunday. I’ve made a reservation and hope to meet at least a couple of you.

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by Wendy on April 27, 2012 · in Weekend Open Thread

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TGIF! Jackson’s babysitter, who usually watches him two mornings a week, took the last ten days off and I was reminded how exhausting it is to not get a break from baby-wrangling, even if I spend that break working. Remember how depressed I was back in February? And I thought I had delayed PPD? And then it turned out I just needed a higher dose of thyroid meds and a nap. And a babysitter. Seriously, if there’s one piece of advice I have for new mothers — and let’s face it, I always have more than one piece of advice — it’s not to be ashamed to ask for help. Even if it’s just hiring a babysitter one morning a week so you can go for a walk or sleep or go to the grocery store without carrying a baby.

Anyhow, I’m grateful to have help now, but I sure did miss it this week and am glad it’s Friday and I’ll have an extra pair of hands to help with J. He’s teething hard core and I’m not sure who’s more ready for the relief of tooth #1 — him or me.

Speaking of relief, let’s talk about dodged bullets. As in, who in your past, romantically-speaking, are you grateful is no longer in your life? Maybe it’s someone who broke your heart and it took you eons to get over, but now that you’re in a better place you can see how wrong he was for you and how miserable you would have made each other. Or maybe it was someone you crushed on for a long time and never had a chance with and now you see him on Facebook and you’re like, “Ew.” I have a few dodged bullets, myself, probably the biggest of which was my first serious boyfriend in college. At first, he wanted to marry me, but I wasn’t anywhere near ready. Then he broke up with me and I was devastated for (what seemed like) a long time. Now, I look back and know that had I stayed with him, my life would be very, very different than it is now. Not bad, necessarily, but certainly not the life I would want for myself. And I’m quite happy with the life I have now and would not trade it for what could have been in a million years (wish I could have had a crystal ball back when, though; it maybe would have saved a few thousand tears).

What about you? Is there anyone you came close to marrying or settling down with for a long time that you’re now glad you lost your chance with?

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by Wendy on April 20, 2012 · in Weekend Open Thread

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A recent study claims that the average person has fewer than five friends he or she can count on in a crisis. Of course, I read that and thought about how many friends I could count on in a crisis, and then I wondered how we define “crisis.” I mean, what really constitutes a crisis? I locked myself (and Jackson) out of our apartment earlier this week. Is that a crisis? Or what about when I was hospitalized over the summer when I suffered a kidney infection and went into preterm labor? That’s a crisis, right? Surely, a death in the family is a crisis. A breakup? Yes. Getting lipstick on your wedding dress ten minutes before you’re supposed to walk down the aisle? Sure.

Obviously, there are different levels of crises, just as there are different types of friends. In my mind, friendships are pretty fluid. The person you can count on to hold your hand through a breakup today may not be around in three years to help you process your mother’s cancer (or whatever crisis you’ll be going through then). At this moment, today, if I needed something, I feel certain I have more than five people who would be willing to help me (but then again, I suppose it depends on the “level” of help that I need and whatever is going on in their lives). Some of those people have been friends for years and years. Some people I’ve known a few months. What about you? Whom would you count on in a crisis? Whom would you help? What are you doing to help foster a community it your life? It’s so, so important. The older I get, the more I appreciate the importance of having solid people in your corner you can depend on. It’s worth the investment!

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by Wendy on April 13, 2012 · in Weekend Open Thread

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