Your Turn

Jason is a big-hearted person. He is creative, has a decent sense of humor, has good taste in music, and loves to cook. He’s also mildly mentally challenged. He is generally independent, though. He can manage his own money wisely, care for himself, cook his own meals, and care for our younger brother and their cats when needed. In fact, save for the fact that when he talks he has trouble getting his words out, most people can’t even tell that he’s any different. That, of course, isn’t why I’m writing. I’m writing because he wants a girlfriend. Bad.

He was seeing a girl a few years ago. I lived out of state at the time, so I never met her, but I heard from family members who did know her that she was slightly more — I’m not sure how to phrase this — severe in her disability. I don’t know if it was her or — more likely — her family who nipped it quickly, but he was banned from seeing her again. He was very broken up about it.

He is online a lot and he discovered a site called Omegle. If you’re unaware of Omegle, it is a one-on-one chat site where it is literally you and a “stranger.” He frequented the site a lot until I caught him passing out his phone number. I should note that, sadly, my parents were never the most attentive and didn’t ever give him — or me for that matter — many of the general safety talks that most parents have when it comes to the internet. So I explained to him in depth the dangers of looking to Omegle for a girlfriend.

There’s another social site that he frequents often. I’m on the site as well. The other night I caught him once again trolling random girls to ask out. Girls he knows literally nothing about.

I’m at a loss really. This isn’t something I can go to my parents about. They shame him for having screen savers of scantily clad comic book characters or even having an interest in women. I do my best to explain things and he gets it, but he’s just so very desperate, which scares me more. I’ve got a close friend who is rather desperate and I see the scum bags she winds up with. (No, setting them up together is absolutely not an option, by the way.).

My birthday came around and we went out and he told me that my gift was at his mother’s house and he would bring it to me. It’s been approximately two months and I still haven’t received anything.

He asked me to buy him some shoes. The first time I thought he was joking and laughed it off, but the second and third time it wasn’t funny. He knows my budget and I can’t afford to buy him shoes. He asked me for gas money, too — he asked if he could pick me up from work I agreed, and then when he got to my office he told me that he didn’t have any gas. He was my only ride at that moment so I gave him some money.

We rarely go out. The last time we went out was two months ago which was on my birthday, and actually we’ve only really had two dates in total. The funny thing is that a couple days ago he called me and asked if I wanted to go out. He named everything were going to do and I’m like “ok,” and then all of a sudden he hits me with: “I want you to take me out — you’re paying.” I told my friend what happened and she said that he is too forceful and that I shouldn’t pay his way for anything.

We don’t have sex regularly — maybe once or twice every two weeks; he actually made and excuses to leave my house one time because I tried to cuddle with him.

On top of all this I haven’t met his family. (He’s met mine though). He’s admitted to being hesitant with that, I asked him why and he doesn’t know. I’ve also never been to his place which he says he shares with roommates but I don’tknow. I also noticed that he says he’s going to do something and doesn’t follow through, which is really annoying.