My Boyfriend hasn’t called me back yet and it’s been almost TWO HOURS!!!!! I called him at 11:15am to tell him about this really stuck-up customer who came in the store AND THEN DIDN’T EVEN BUY ANYTHING!!!! But now it’s almost 12:50 and he STILL HASN’T CALLED ME BACK!!!!
Who knows where he is?!?!!! Actually I know where he is. He’s at his grandmother’s funeral. I feel sad for his Grandma and all but we need to talk NOW! I need to know everything is okay between us!!! Why is this always happening to ME??!!!
It’s almost 12:55. Should I MOA? — Hopeless Romantic
Wendy and The Man pretend they don’t hear me. It’s 5:30 am and daylight has broken through the blinds. I am so hungry. I meow over and over with all the power I can summon. I know they can hear me.
Maybe today I will see the squirrel again. There is so much I want to say to her. I want to tell her my dreams of one day becoming an airline pilot. Wendy says I would look very handsome in a pilot’s hat.
Sometimes I hide behind the blue chair and no one can see me.
I am so hungry.
My girlfriend keeps asking me if I see a future with her and I keep saying, “Yeah, I see a future. I see us having sex tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. And I also see us watching ‘The Avengers’ this weekend, too.” She says that it isn’t funny. but I’m not trying to be funny. I really want to see that movie. Should I just buy advance tickets for the both of us for Friday night? Have you see it yet? Is it good? Should I see it by myself tomorrow and with my girlfriend on Friday? — Future-Rama
Yesterday Wendy ate a small can of tuna mixed with some Trader Joe’s Reduced Guilt Mac-n-Cheese and it smelled so good, but she didn’t give me a taste. Not even a little one. I sat right next to her while she ate and kept whining and looking at her with the saddest eyes I could muster and nothing. She didn’t even acknowledge me. I blame the baby.
Should I cut my hair? — Rapunzel
Sometimes Wendy and The Man let me sit on the balcony as long as I wear a leash. On Saturday I got to sit outside until it got dark, listening to all the neighbors having BBQs and parties in their back yards. The people who live next to us had a bonfire and roasted marshmallows. Wendy says it’s cause they’re from Denmark.