Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Dear Miles: “I Gained Weight. Is it Love?”

I’m on vacation through May 13th, and in my absence Miles has offered to guest write a couple of columns. Here’s one of them:

Dear Miles,

I’ve gained 15 pounds since I started dating Mike six weeks ago. I think it’s because I’m in love. Aren’t you supposed to gain weight when you’re in love? My friend Abby says when she met her husband Ryan she got cramps, a stomach ache and dry heaves. She said that’s how she knew she was in love. I think for me it’s gaining weight. Mike says he doesn’t mind. But 15 pounds is a lot. Should I tell Mike I love him? — Angie


Dear Angie,

I ate an entire bowl of ice cream once. Wendy wasn’t home and the man made a bowl of ice cream for himself, a bowl for Simone and a bowl for me. We watched a baseball game. Wendy has a friend named Meg. She is tall.

*If you have a relationship/dating question Miles can help answer, send him your letters at miles@dearwendy.com.

29 comments… add one
  • Firegirl32

    Firegirl32 May 5, 2011, 12:02 pm

    Oh God, I love Miles.

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    Desiree May 5, 2011, 12:11 pm

    It’s not uncommon for women to gain weight in relationships: many of us eat when we are happy, and often our men are a bad influence on our eating habits. Though the way you describe it is interesting, as though it’s a symptom of love. It isn’t a symptom of it’s own; it’s the natural result of a behavioral change. Fifteen lbs in six weeks is a pretty significant rate of gain (though not necessarily uncommon; that’s probably standard for many Americans during the holiday season). In any case, gaining weight is hardly a good reason to tell someone you love him. I would analyze your behavioral changes over the past six weeks and decide how you want to move forward healthwise (exercise more? eat less ice cream with Mike?). Whatever your feelings for Mike are, I would separate them from the change in your waistline. Maybe Mike makes you so happy that you have thrown your normal regimen to the side. Maybe Mike is stressing you out and you’re overeating. Only you know for sure. But if you want to say I love you, I would find a better reason.

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    • avatar

      Beckaleigh May 5, 2011, 1:15 pm

      Maybe I’m slow, and I’m sorry to offend, but you realize that this is a fake letter, right?

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        Desiree May 5, 2011, 2:08 pm

        Lol-I probably shouldn’t try to post until my finals are over. My brain is pretty much gone.

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        bubbacatz May 6, 2011, 9:09 am

        It was still a very good answer!

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    Kerrycontrary May 5, 2011, 12:16 pm

    15 pounds in six weeks is a lot. Most doctors say of you gain/lose more then 10 in a month you should see your physician. I always do have a physical reaction to love though. I have more energy so I lose some sleep, and I usually lose my appetite. And only you can know if your in love. Trust your gut, not the scale.

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    BoomChakaLaka May 5, 2011, 12:29 pm

    Is it love that makes you gain weight or the relationship? I was definitely 5lbs thinner before I started seriously dating my guy. We just eat out a lot and stay in bed cuddling. He hasn’t gained much weight because he runs marathons…so yeah, I think its just me.

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    • Lana

      Lanchik May 6, 2011, 7:53 am

      Same here! I’m hoping that the summer time will slim me down a bit. When it’s gorgeous outside, I walk everywhere, so I’m sure that will take care of the extra 5lbs! 😉

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    NolaGirl May 5, 2011, 12:33 pm

    this seriously makes me feel better about my 15 lbs in 3 years. Still not a trend to continue.

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    Mischief May 5, 2011, 12:53 pm

    If I ate a whole bowl of ice cream there would be no containing the amount of gas I would produce. It would be epic.

    Seriously though, there is nothing wrong with putting on a few pounds. I put on a few, and my People just came up with new nicknames for me – like Puddin’ Pie and Love Tubs. Previously, I was known only as Skitters or Mischief. Clearly the weight makes me more lovable.

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  • avatar

    Rachel May 5, 2011, 12:54 pm

    Miles, you should be careful with that ice cream! When my cat eats ice cream, he throws up all over the house.

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    Emsz May 5, 2011, 12:59 pm

    Now I want a whole bowl of ice-cream 🙁 (<–We have none in the house)

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    MissDre May 5, 2011, 1:08 pm

    My kitten LOVES yogurt! I can’t even get one out of the fridge before she’s crying and begging for a taste!

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      Instant Karma May 6, 2011, 7:51 am

      Mine too! He gets so excited when I eat it. He has to take medicine (he has epilepsy), but he’ll gobble up his pill in a second if I crush it and hide it in some yogurt! He also loves bread — he will nip at sandwiches if I’m not careful — and, even more strangely, salad. His favorite kind is field greens with oil and balsamic vinegar drizzled on top.

      In related news, I just realized that my cat has more sophisticated tastes in vegetables than my boyfriend.

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    • Lana

      Lanchik May 6, 2011, 7:55 am

      So does mine! Especially mocha yogurt. She gets pretty aggressive about it if she thinks you’re taking too long to share with her!

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    Laurel May 5, 2011, 1:37 pm

    Miles is seriously adorable. Look at his sweet little pink nose! Awwwwwww.

    I’ve gained about 10-15 pounds over the past year and I think it’s totally the combination of being a little underweight (for my standard, not medically) due to stress at the end of my last relationship, being totally happy in love in my current relationship, and going from being a student to unemployed (which means a lot less running around). Oh and getting ever closer to my mid-twenties. I can blame that too, right? But now that it’s actually warming up here I can get back outside to my favorite kinds of exercise (cycling, running, tennis) so I’m trying not to stress about it and get down on myself.

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    silver_dragon_girl May 5, 2011, 2:18 pm

    My cat loves ice cream. She sits next to me and stares plaintively until I give her some. We share a spoon, and she eats it very daintily. She’s about 9 months old, but I think she’s about done growing, so I’m trying to limit her “treat” intake. My friend’s cats are all on diets, and that is not something I want to have to deal with in the future!!!

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    Christina May 5, 2011, 2:22 pm

    It’s funny to imagine the man, Miles and Simone eating ice cream together while watching baseball.

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    TJ May 5, 2011, 4:41 pm

    “Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault/Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault!”

    (Not meant to imply that Miles is smelly, I just like the song…)

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    • Firegirl32

      Firegirl32 May 5, 2011, 5:38 pm

      Do I get points for this song?! I finally know one!

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      Thyme May 5, 2011, 6:24 pm

      Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
      Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault!
      They won’t take you to the vet,
      You’re obvously not their favorite pet.
      You… something about a a bed of roses,
      And you’re no friend to those with noses.
      Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault!

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    SpyGlassez May 5, 2011, 8:38 pm

    Miles – I love ice cream. Mummy won’t let me have it, though, because she says I “pukey” on the rug when I eat it. That isn’t true. And even if it is, I love ice cream. Mummy says I have gained weight, but I think I am beeeyyyyooooutiful the way I am. Sometimes they call me “Love Muffin,” especially when I curl up in a small box. I like boxes. Do you?

    ~Simon the Grey

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    AKchic May 5, 2011, 9:19 pm

    15lbs in 6 weeks?

    Honey, I doubt “love” had anything to do with it. Maybe an excess of restaurant dining and movie watching? Maybe a malfunctioning profalactic? (hint: that means check your birth control)
    Women fluctuate at an average of 5lbs a day. Yes, per day. I had a 7 day stomach bug and could “eat” nothing but ice water and still gained 5lbs in 5 days. New medications can cause weight gain. Weather changes cause weight gain.

    I think you WANT to be in love. If you want to be – BE. Don’t look for an excuse to be and an excuse for gaining all that weight. Stop shifting blame for your weight gain.

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    Red_Lady May 5, 2011, 9:22 pm

    I love letters to Miles!

    I’ve actually told my boyfriend we should break up and then fall back in love all over again, because the first few months I was with him was the only time that I actually weighed what’s on my driver’s license. I must have lost 15-20 lbs those first couple months. I think falling in love was great for weight loss! It’s the being-in-love that makes me gain weight (going out to eat, drinking a lot, making big meals, cuddling on the couch, etc)

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    SGMcG May 5, 2011, 9:27 pm

    You da cat’s meow Miles – da cat’s meow!

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    Anne (I Go To 11) May 5, 2011, 10:59 pm

    Miles FTW!

    I bet my cats would like ice cream, too. They LOVE cheese, especially cottage cheese. But they don’t like yogurt; I tried to give them some plain yogurt once, and they turned their kitty noses up at it. Oh well.

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    • fast eddie

      fast eddie May 6, 2011, 8:40 am

      We have on cat that prefers raspberry yogurt, but will settle for any flavor except pineapple. One must have standards after all.

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  • fast eddie

    fast eddie May 5, 2011, 11:28 pm

    I wouldn’t worry too much over 15 lb my wife and I both put on a LOT more then that, never mind how much. LOL There are some fun ways to burn calories. (giggle)

    Miles baby, my kitties are at the ready for ice cream or yogurt. If someone sits on the couch with either they must share. That’s just way life is.

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    Instant Karma May 6, 2011, 7:52 am

    Miles, you are amazing. Tigger and Gizmo (my cats) say hi!

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