Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Do You Celebrate a “Dating Anniversary”?

Screen Shot 2015-08-25 at 10.37.52 AM

A question in the forums today got me thinking about dating anniversaries. Drew and I have one — May 5th, which also happens to be my mom’s birthday. It’s the day we met and the day of our first date and first kiss and all of that (we have a few anniversaries, actually). Deciding on a dating anniversary is easy if you meet on a blind date and then date consistently from then on. But what about those of you who didn’t meet on blind dates or whose dating trajectories weren’t as linear? Do you celebrate an anniversary? And if so, how do you decide on a date?

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41 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Ms. Simba August 25, 2015, 12:41 pm

    We were friends for a long time and then got back in touch. We picked an anniversary when we had a few options. We could have gone with our first day hanging out again, the first kiss, and when we decided to be official. We went with the first kiss because we ended up being official from then on even if we hadn’t officially labeled it.

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  • gigi

    gigi August 25, 2015, 12:43 pm

    My BF & I, OK mostly me, remember it. Its the date of our 1st date. We met on match & our 1st date was at a Dairy Queen. So every year we say. oh the date is coming up, we should go get ice cream! But we haven’t done it yet. It’s not a huge deal for us.

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  • avatar

    SasLinna August 25, 2015, 12:50 pm

    We don’t have a real dating anniversary because we started out as friends with benefits. I sometimes mention to him when it’s our “sexiversary”, for some reason I can remember what date we first had sex. Maybe we should just start celebrating that?

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    • avatar

      K August 25, 2015, 3:24 pm

      We first had sex on Valentine’s Day, which is cliché but it’s just the way it worked out. We aren’t big on celebrating V-day, but that makes it easy to remember our sexiversary 😉

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    • avatar

      Snoopy128 August 25, 2015, 6:41 pm

      We started out as FWB as well and I also remember our sexiversary and remind him each year.

      Our anniversary is our first date where we transitioned from fwb to dating

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      • avatar

        SasLinna August 26, 2015, 1:58 am

        It’s hard for me to pinpoint when we officially transitioned to dating (it was a few months later), but if I think back to that time it’s clear that emotionally there was already a shift to something more serious soon after we started having sex. Possibly why I remember the sexiversary and it comes closest to what I feel was the starting point of ‘us’.

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  • avatar

    Jennylou August 25, 2015, 12:53 pm

    We met online, so we celebrate the date we met in person for the first time. 🙂 We were exclusive from there on out, and neither of us remembers the dates of any other “firsts” … so it works!

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  • Nicolasa

    Nicolette August 25, 2015, 12:54 pm

    My husband and I like to acknowledge our dating anniversary – though we have different dates in mind! He likes to say we really started dating on Valentine’s Day, but I like to think it was a couple of weeks after when we became “official.” We don’t do anything special though – just recognize the milestone and officially celebrate our wedding anniversary.

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  • mandalee

    mandalee August 25, 2015, 12:54 pm

    We are married now, so obviously the wedding anniversary has become more important but we still celebrate our “we met” anniversary in a laid-back way. Our we met anniversary is pretty much the night we also slept together the first time (oops), so we just eat take out and have some good sex on that day and laugh about how awkward and amazing that first day was. It helps that we met the last day of a spring semester so it helps us to remember what the date actually is. Even when we were dating, we still celebrated this day since we couldn’t exactly agree on the “we were official” anniversary.
    .
    The wedding anniversary is important for obvious reasons, but I love celebrating the smaller, older anniversaries because it reminds me of a time we were much much younger and had no idea of what was to come.

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  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny August 25, 2015, 1:02 pm

    I like the idea of a dating anniversary! I say it could be whatever you want- first kiss, first date, etc. It’s also a good reason to do something different than you’d normally do day to day in the relationship.

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  • avatar

    joanna August 25, 2015, 1:04 pm

    We had an official date and we celebrated it the first couple years but we’ve forgotten to celebrate it as time wore on. It’s October 10th, but for the past couple years we haven’t realized the date passed until the beginning of November.

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  • Ika

    Ika August 25, 2015, 1:14 pm

    Like I said in the forum, we don’t celebrate it (we don’t celebrate our wedding anniversary either), we do usually mention it though.
    We have the anniversary of our 1st date (kiss really, since it was after midnight), anniversary of moving in together, and wedding anniversary.

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  • othy

    othy August 25, 2015, 1:20 pm

    Othello and I started dating in high school, where dating anniversaries were a huge thing and were based on the day you were ‘official’ (i.e. declared boyfriend/girlfriend). So, sappy story time. We had been casually hanging out, with a couple of official dates (dances). But neither one of us had the guts to actually talk to each other and ask about our status. But we were always together. Finally, one day we were hanging out on the couches in our Debate lounge, and one of my friends walked in. She asked in an exasperated voice if we were official yet. We both shrugged. So she said, “Othello, have you asked her yet?” He looked at me and said “Eh, you wanna be my girlfriend?” I said “Sure, why not”. My friend then ran from the room and announced to the whole debate team that we were FINALLY an item. I tried to play it all casual but I was thrilled we’d finally reached that point. She later told us at our wedding that it wouldn’t have happened without her, and based on how shy Othello and I both were, she might have been right.

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  • avatar

    Ale August 25, 2015, 1:50 pm

    I remember the date that we had our first kiss, but our first anniversary was August 23rd, the day we decided to be girlfriend and boyfriend. And we celebrated, very low key, dinner and talking about our first official year and what’s next.

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  • avatar

    HmC August 25, 2015, 1:51 pm

    I think it is always nice just to take an excuse to break up your life routine a bit to appreciate your SO, so dating anniversaries can be sweet. I don’t personally think there’s a need to exchange pricey gifts and otherwise make a huge deal out of every little event anniversary (first kiss, first date, first being “official” etc. etc.) just because that seems tiring to keep track of, but as with most things when it comes to relationships if both partners are into it then good for them!

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  • becboo84

    becboo84 August 25, 2015, 1:52 pm

    My husband and I definitely celebrate our DATEiversary. We’ve been married for 8.5 years and together for 10.5 years. We always reflect back on our first date, and our early time together, on that day.

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  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom August 25, 2015, 1:58 pm

    We didn’t have a dating anniversary. It would have been hard for us to pick one. We met on a day when someone introduced us but didn’t take note of each other. It was about six months later when we spent some time talking that I actually noticed him. Then we spent some time talking each day, then he invited me on a date, I think that was the night we kissed for the first time but I don’t remember for sure. We started seeing each other all of the time and never had an official talk about whether we were boyfriend and girlfriend, we just were. I don’t remember any of those dates.

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  • FireStar

    Firestar August 25, 2015, 2:02 pm

    Sweet. But I can’t remember anything. Including when we met…so I’m out.

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  • avatar

    TMC August 25, 2015, 2:09 pm

    We met on the biggest bar night of the year (night before Thanksgiving) so we use that as an excuse to get out nowadays! Our wedding anniversary isn’t nearly as fun, but we do something together then too 😉

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  • Portia

    Portia August 25, 2015, 2:15 pm

    Our dating anniversary is of the first night we kissed. It was very memorable, mostly because he came over and did an extremely corny declaration of his intentions (I’ve embarrassed Bassanio enough on here, so I won’t go into specifics, but appropriately enough it involved reading from a Shakespeare play). As romantically as possible I removed the screen on my window and he climbed in, then we made out. Ah, teenagers… First kiss felt like more of a turning point to a relationship than other firsts.
    .
    In terms of celebrating, we mostly go out to a nice dinner. One year we went on an anniversary trip. But no cards or gifts. I’ve been thinking about this lately, since we’ll soon have a new anniversary, and I’m not sure if we’re going to continue to celebrate this day, or celebrate a wedding anniversary any differently. Maybe we’ll look through wedding pictures? It will probably involve a fancy dinner, but it’s too bad it won’t be during restaurant week anymore, that was very useful.

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    • kmtthat

      kmentothat August 26, 2015, 8:55 am

      “…but appropriately enough it involved reading from a Shakespeare play. As romantically as possible I removed the screen on my window and he climbed in, then we made out.”
      .
      Excuse me, I just died of jealousy.

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  • Miel

    Miel August 25, 2015, 2:25 pm

    We do celebrate our dating anniversary, and the date is the first day we kissed. I think in the beginning of our relationship it felt important to celebrate it. We were long-distance and I don’t think everyone in our family/friend circle took it seriously. Being able to say “today, it’s been ONE YEAR !!” made it more official. People were like “ok, I guess it’s not just a fling”. Now we just celebrated our fourth year by taking the day off and going to the botanical garden. It’s just an excuse to break the routine and do something fun.

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  • avatar

    g August 25, 2015, 2:58 pm

    After we’d known each other for a while/been hanging out regularly in groups, he asked me to come hiking with him… that turned into lunch, then thrift shopping, then a festival, then a nightcap, then driving around our old neighborhood until 3am… I’ll never forget because it was my favorite day – the summer solstice! So we spent all day together on the longest day of the year. We didn’t kiss or become official that day, but…

    We celebrated huge this year with a hotel room at the hotel where we had our nightcap & nice gifts for each other, and we mostly recreated our first date except the shopping part & we missed the beginning of the festival because we lounged around watching boxing and drinking champagne in our robes.

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  • avatar

    bparker August 25, 2015, 3:16 pm

    My boyfriend asked me a while back what our anniversary should be and we couldn’t decide and reading this reminded me that we never came to a decision. I think we’ve gone about things in “backwards” order so that is why we couldn’t decide. I think he cares about an actual date more than I but I remember the dates of the various milestones along the way but none of them feel like they should be ‘our anniversary’ since it’s been a strange path to where we are now.

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  • avatar

    Ele4phant August 25, 2015, 4:39 pm

    Nope we do not. As I said in the forum, it’s just too unclear when we actually became a couple. And it just seemed silly (to us) to try to commemorate our relationship on one day. We try to work on it every day. We aren’t all that big on valentines day, either.

    However, now that we have a wedding anniversary, we’ll probably recognize that. But I can’t imagine we’ll make to huge of a deal of that either.

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  • avatar

    Lovelygirl August 25, 2015, 5:31 pm

    We have 2 anniversaries that we celebrate. First is of course our wedding anniversary and second is the Monday after Super Bowl. It was our first date (blind date) and then the next year it was the day he proposed. Monday after super bowl will always be super special to us 🙂

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    • avatar

      SpaceySteph August 26, 2015, 9:55 am

      My husband and I got married on the Saturday before the Super Bowl in 2013. Then for the past 2 years we have hosted a super bowl party (in 2014 it was on our first anniversary so we served year-old wedding cake). Super Bowl couples, unite!

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  • mylaray

    mylaray August 25, 2015, 5:37 pm

    We celebrate our first date each year by going to the same restaurant. And we started celebrating the day we got engaged but we don’t do any gifts. For our wedding anniversary, we try and do just an experience gift. It’s nice to have a few dates that are already penciled in to acknowledge each other, and it’s more about keeping family traditions.

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  • honeybeenicki

    honeybeenicki August 25, 2015, 7:35 pm

    I have no idea when our “dating anniversary” even is… I know its in July. And before the 18th. That’s it. I only know that much because we had just started dating right before my bonus son’s 6th birthday. Most days I’m lucky to remember our wedding anniversary.

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  • avatar

    snoopy128 August 25, 2015, 7:58 pm

    As much as we have an anniversary date, we treat it as a half joke. Partially because we were FWB before, and partially because neither of us are that big into celebrating the year markers. We did a nice dinner for year 1, and then were apart for 50% of the next few. This year is 5 and I think we will probably do a nice dinner together. We use it as an excuse to treat ourselves and plan a really nice night. But on the years we weren’t together, we almost forgot to say ‘happy anniversary’. We also don’t do cards or gifts.

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  • avatar

    Ange August 25, 2015, 10:01 pm

    Well we don’t really remember our dating start as such. We ran into each other on holiday and hooked up, I thought that signalled the transition from friends to partners but he apparently wasn’t sure. Lucky we got married and have a definite anniversary! we always acknowledge that mid-decemberish is when we got together, it’s the best we can do

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  • Nookie

    Nookie August 26, 2015, 7:33 am

    I have a note in my calendar, because I’m awful with dates. It’s just the first time we went out as a ‘couple’ to see a film. I just like having a reminder of how long we’ve been together, the next one is five years.. which is the longest I’ve ever made it!

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  • kmtthat

    kmentothat August 26, 2015, 8:50 am

    We aren’t married, and we actually discussed what anniversary to celebrate. We met at a bar and started dating immediately, and though we didn’t verbalize we were exclusive (or sleep together) for 3 months or call it “official” boyfriend/girlfriend for 6 months, neither one of us was seeing other people from the day we met and we were definitely formally dating (not just “hanging out”). So we called it from the day we met.

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  • avatar

    Mrssmith707 August 26, 2015, 10:02 am

    We met on NYE, and ended up making out pretty much after the second shot of Jäger. Hung out with him all the next day, and then didn’t see him for about 2 weeks. I lived about an hour away from him, and apparently, I was “out of his league” so he let me make the next move. When we met up two weeks after, it pretty much sealed the deal, and we were a couple. Spent the next weekend together, and the next, and I was always shocked that despite all the physical contact and the sleepovers, he was respectfully and we didn’t sleep together until the third or fourth hangout (even though he could have). He declared me his girlfriend on the Saturday before the Super Bowl in 2007, but we’ve always just celebrated NYE as our dating anniversary. Now that we are married, we celebrate that, but NYE will always be special too.

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  • avatar

    inkyboots August 26, 2015, 10:37 am

    Mr. Inky and I celebrate the day he asked me to be his girlfriend, July…. uh… 14th? Our wedding anniversary is in October. We usually celebrate by having a nice dinner together, then reflecting on the past year and what we’re looking forward to in the coming year. It’s a nice way to make sure we’re on the same page for the next few months.

    My friends chose their wedding date as close to their dating anniversary as possible, because it’s so hard for my friend to remember any dates ever. Haha!

    And then there are my parents, who have been married for 32 years and always celebrate the anniversary of their first date.

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  • avatar

    Alsofreckly August 26, 2015, 1:21 pm

    We sort of recognize our dateiversary (like someone else mentioned, usually with takeout and sex ;-)). We didn’t have a specific date, but could narrow down that we clearly weren’t dating through mid November, and clearly were by the end of February. I let my spouse (boyfriend at the time) pick a date for celebrating purposes. He went with Groundhog Day (2/2).

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    • avatar

      SpaceySteph August 26, 2015, 1:53 pm

      Groundhog day is my wedding anniversary. We knew we wanted to get married in Feb and when we found a venue we liked they were booked on the second and third weekend, so we picked the first instead of the last. And then we start telling people the date and they’re like “Oh, Groundhog Day?” I had no idea it was Groundhog Day, or even that it’s on a date rather than the first Tuesday of the month or whatever. Why do people know when Groundhog Day is?
      I guess it’s a memorable anniversary date, though.

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      • avatar

        keyblade August 26, 2015, 2:19 pm

        It was a popular movie. But I wouldn’t have thought about, either. especially months in advance. You must be somewhere really cold.

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  • Raccoon eyes

    Raccoon eyes August 27, 2015, 7:53 am

    My Dearest and I made up our dating anniversary, mostly because there isnt a clear actual one, but it is around when both of us considered that we were a couple, etc. It is an easy date to remember for both of us…but I do not think we even actually celebrated it a couple of months ago. It is really just an excuse for me to buy him something as a gift and then jokingly hold that over his head for not getting me something specific. (As in, Im more of a gift giver than he is and I like having a reason to give him a gift. He’s more of a let’s-get-hibachi-this-weekend every once in awhile, as that is a bit steeper than our usual dinners out. So my Love Language must be gifting and his is Hibachi. If it isnt obvious I never read the Love Languages book. Hehehe) Im sure we will still “celebrate” it even after we are married. But still mostly as a joke, if that makes sense. For us, knowing that we are each other’s Always Person is enough. Basically presents and dinner out are great, and little surprises are nice…whenever.
    *
    Looking back, Ive had all kinds of different celebrating styles with boyfriends of the past. It really is a case-by-case thing. It really needs to be what works for the couple, and if that is due to a discussion and agreement so be it, or if it is what naturally just happens and falls into place…then if it makes you you both happy, wtf does anything else matter? Although I suppose that was the point of the Forum post, right? That she wasnt happy with BF telling her to re-assign the dating-iversary that they hadnt even celebrated the year before?

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  • avatar

    Jax August 27, 2015, 10:45 am

    My boyfriend and I celebrate it, but we call it “__#_ year beer” (obviously the number changes every year) and we just go out and have a nice beer together.

    We officially started dating after we toured a few breweries.

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  • Betsy

    Betsy August 27, 2015, 2:34 pm

    We celebrate the date of our first date/first kiss. We had known each other for years and years, and I had an extra ticket to a band I knew we both liked. I asked him to go with me and while we were out the chemistry was palpable. At the end of the night he snuck a goodbye kiss, and the rest is history.

    It’s a great excuse for a nice date night and some gushy cards. Oh, and there was that one year that I forgot and he will never let me live it down…

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