June 27, 2012 at 12:10 pm #31965
When used correctly, hormonal BC and condoms have almost exactly the same failure rate for pregnancy (something like 2%). You can argue that condoms are easier to use correctly than pills (which people can forget), but “much more effectively than all your pills and whatnot” isn’t scientifically accurate.June 27, 2012 at 12:16 pm #31966
It will never cease to amaze me that for women who want babies, its appears quite difficult to get (using Firestar’s medical term) knocked up, yet countless girls, myself included, who have no intention of trying to get pregnant, end up that way so easily. Best wishes to you Firestar!June 27, 2012 at 12:17 pm #31967
My husband and I love condoms. We use them exclusively and have for almost five years. We’ve never had them break or slip off.
Neither of us cared for hormonal birth control (pills) because I seemed to become more depressed and less interested in sex on them. I used Depo-Provera shots in a previous relationship, but even though I only had four shots (so I was on for about a year), it took nine months for my period to return to normal once I stopped. That was enough for me. I have a half-sister who had a nightmare getting back to her normal cycle when she got off birth control. She and her husband really wanted a baby, and I think it took more than a year for her cycle to return to normal.June 27, 2012 at 12:19 pm #31968
@JK and LBH – thanks guys – and I have to say – no one is minding all the trying!June 27, 2012 at 12:21 pm #31970
Okay, then… straight people must simply be much more careless in general then with proper usage — as the failure rate has been so much more higher (like hundreds of times higher in percentage points in my own personal experience…) among heterosexuals who all must somehow manage to use it incorrectly, I guess. (When it fails for them, I mean.)
At any rate, condoms actually protect one against HIV which hormonal BC simply doesn’t and that’s simply a protection that far too many of you give up far too quickly…June 27, 2012 at 12:21 pm #31971
Since the birth of our 2nd (14 months ago) we´ve been using condoms with no problem (and no, we don´t use them correctly).
We´ve used them on and off in the 10 years we´ve been together, and only once did it break, and that was because when my husband bought them they didn´t have the brand we usually use, so he bought another one.June 27, 2012 at 12:23 pm #31972
I’m going to chime in for a second to agree with BGM on a couple of points…
The number of men “on the down-low” actually IS quite staggering. I see it ALL THE TIME at work. Yesterday I talked to a married guy who got syphilis from a dude at the bath house. And unfortunately, HIV (and syphilis, in most areas of the country) is a lot more prevalent among men who have sex with men (for a number of reasons). And there’s a window period for HIV testing, meaning that it could take anywhere from 6 weeks to 3 months (or 6 months in some cases!) after an exposure before HIV will show up positive on a test. This isn’t the same as an incubation period, though; shortly after an infection, during the time when the test might be negative, that person is HIGHLY infectious.
Just something to think about. Also, today is National HIV Testing Day.June 27, 2012 at 12:27 pm #31973June 27, 2012 at 12:32 pm #31974
Ha. Um, how can I put this delicately? You know how you´re supposed to put it on before there´s any contact? We wait a bit longer.June 27, 2012 at 12:55 pm #31978
It’s funny, In the past I’ve dated quite a few men who are not always very good about wanting to use condoms. I’ve even had a guy “dump” me (we had only been dating a couple of weeks) when I wouldn’t have sex with him because I didn’t have a condom on me (and neither did he). And it was also the second date (I also wasn’t comfortable with second date sex.). I have had semi-casual sex with guys I’ve only been dating a short time (weeks to months), and I find that sometimes I’m the one feeling “prudish” for insisting on a condom. I mean, come on, I could have a disease that I could pass on to them, couldn’t I? How would they know? Isn’t that important? It sort of surprises me. As someone who has lost two close family members to AIDS, I’d rather be safe and have peace of mind. And at this point in my life, I’m really more interested in developing a relationship with a guy that could lead to something long term, and not settling for less, but I guess that’s an entirely different thread altogether…June 27, 2012 at 1:01 pm #31980
Moneypenny, when I was dating casually I was shocked at how many dudes were going to go for it without a condom and I had to ask them to use one. It was so weird. Sure, you might assume I’m on the pill (clearly I’m not), but diseases? Protect yourselves, dudes.June 27, 2012 at 1:43 pm #31983
@bgm while i dont think condoms suck, there’s definitely a difference even to a passive partner. however, i do admit it may be psychological, the ‘risk’ factor… at least for meJune 27, 2012 at 3:09 pm #32003
@Rangerchic OHHHH I thought I was the only one who was allergic to sperm. Every time my bf comes in me (which is rare) it burns like crazy, and I get a little swollen. It sucks Now I know if I ever try to have children, it’s gonna hurt in the process.
I’ve been on BC for about 8 months now. I’m on Loestrin 24 Fe, which is a low dose monophasic with only a 4 day placebo period. The placebo pills are fortified with iron, but I don’t take them because it messes with my Crohn’s. I got on it half for skin, half for birth control because just condoms were scary to me. We had one that had a tiiiny hole in the tip, and needless to say, we both freaked out. So I got on BC.
I was super scared to get on it, as when I read reviews on the internet, all of them were horrible. But like others have said, you just need to talk to your OBGYN. Mine calmed most of my fears and gave me the facts and the honest truth. As far as weight gain, I haven’t gained any. Most of the gain is water, if any, and I was told that progesterone only pills MIGHT increase your appetite a bit. My skin has cleared up! It took 3-4 months though for me to see any results. It got a little worse before it got better, so you may want to keep that in mind.
I’m glad I found a pill that works for me on the first try! Hopefully, you might have that same luck too.
The only downfall of me being on the pill is that I think it may have elevated my cholesterol.
Also, side note, I don’t know how y’all do it by relying just on the pill. You brave souls! I guess I just hear (read) too many horror stories on the internet.. Even though I religiously take it, I keep thinking, “Oh no, my body probably didn’t absorb it all the way” or something. Or that I could be that 2%. Le sigh.June 27, 2012 at 3:24 pm #32005
Michelle.Lea: I suppose that’s true. Look, I’m versatile, and I’ve honestly never been able to physically tell any difference when not topping. Yeah, there was a big emotional difference and that feeling of connection…June 27, 2012 at 3:36 pm #32011
@BGM I 110% can tell a difference when there is a condom involved. And I guess I should say could tell because I haven’t interacted with one in 5 years. It wasn’t mental to me…I could litterally feel the latex, yuck. Part of the reason I have no interest in vaginal sex toys.
And Buttoned, I do personally worry about my pill being maximally effective and if I’m going to be the .00001% who gets pregnant on it. And yes I take it in a 3 hour window every single day and haven’t missed one in probably a year. But my fiance and I have discussed the minimal risk and know we would be ok with a baby if it happened. We’re in our late 20′s getting married with in the year, fairly financially stable, and babies are in our near future anyway. So, keep using two methods untill you’re totally comfortable.(and your BF, make sure he is comfortable too!)
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