Boyfriend's sister….

[leilaniParticipant]

I have been dating my boyfriend for about 9 months, and have hung out with his sister a handful of times. I don’t know her very well, although I hang out with him and his parents on a regular basis. Yesterday, she found out that she had a miscarriage. This was her first pregnancy and she was about 8 weeks along, and hadn’t told anyone but her husband that she was pregnant. She is understandably very upset. I was wondering, would it be appropriate for me to send her a card or flowers? Like I said, I don’t know her very well, but I feel strange not acknowledging it. I also don’t know if she feels that this is a more private matter. Do you guys have any suggestions for a proper course of action?

[GatorGirlParticipant]

Does she know that you know about it? And is she okay with you knowing about it? If your BF told you and wasn’t supposed to and then you say something to her it could get really weird.

That being said- if you’re supposed to be in the know I would say a heartfelt card is better than flowers. Or if you live near by maybe drop off the card with a home cooked meal?

[jlyfshParticipant]

I’m with GatorGirl it depend son whether you are supposed to know or not. I like the idea of the flowers and either home cooked meal or maybe a basket with magazines, snacks, etc.

[FabelleParticipant]

I’d ask your boyfriend what he thinks– does the sister know you know? Is there a good chance she’ll expect her brother to tell you? Miscarriages are usually a very personal kind of pain, so it could be an over-reach on your part if you send a card. However, if you see her in person anytime soon, a quick squeeze of her arm & an “I’m so sorry” could be just enough acknowledgment.

[jlyfshParticipant]

and i meant to say i agreed with the card not flowers. and it doesn’t have to be anything detailed just a thinking of you.

[KristinaParticipant]

I would ask your boyfriend what he thinks. Maybe he can send something, and you can put your name on it as well. I would think a card from you directly would be strange to receive. I’ve had a miscarriage and I know I would have felt weird and maybe upset if someone I didn’t know well at the time had sent me something. It is something so private that even now, I don’t like people to bring it to my attention too much. Maybe just getting her out of the house and you and your boyfriend could do something fun with her and her husband.

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