I could cry right now (Oh, also, I hate my job)

[the_optimistParticipant]

Hey DW community. I’m a longtime reader and lurker. I’ve posted here a couple of times but am basically here to vent because I’m either here or in the bathroom, cowering and crying in a stall, and I’m pretty sure my bosses would rather have me chained to my desk.

So, basically I’m an assistant and work in advertising sales. I’ve been promised a promotion for months, but magically my boss just keeps either “forgetting” or waiting on his boss’s approval. About six months into working here (I’ve been here 1.5 years), I started taking on much more responsibility, even taking on the roles of the position I’m supposedly being promoted to. I now feel like a fool because I’ve basically taken on this role without being paid for it, when originally I’d taken on these new tasks so that my bosses would see that I deserved the spot. And on top of it all, my boss makes super inappropriate, gross comments to and about me. I hate it here.

Now, because I don’t trust anyone here and work in a cutthroat industry, I timestamp and date everything I do. I also send follow-up confirmation emails just so I can cover my own behind if need be. In the past three days, three separate executives have tried to blame mistakes they’ve made on me, and every time I’ve been able to show my manager proof that it was not my fault (In one instance, he yelled out “I KNEW it wasn’t you!”). I know I should be glad, but I’m disgusted. I’m disgusted that each of these people seems to think that it’s better to blame the lowly assistant than it is to take responsibility. I pride myself on being thorough and efficient, and I hate this crap. It’s anxiety-producing.

This isn’t what I thought I would be doing with my life, but I can’t find anything in my industry (believe me, I have been looking) and I just feel stuck and trapped. The past few days have just trampled me, and I’m feeling really low.

Sorry for the long post. I really needed to rant.

[JKParticipant]

I know how awful it is to be in a job you hate, with people you don´t like.
You say there are no jobs in your industry, is there some other sector you are interested in that you are qualified for? It might be worth expanding your horizons for your mental health.

[CaraParticipant]

Bah, you should go out tonight.

You´re already doing a good job documenting everything, but is there a job discription for the position you want? Could you get that and request a meeting with your boss and someone from HR and then just list how many of those things you´re already doing and that it is high-time for them to acknowledge that with more than words? Sounds to me like your boss knows that you won´t say too much if he doesn´t give you a promotion, so be assertive and stand up for yourself! You deserve this!

Also again, let off some steam and try not crying in the bathroom. People do notice and while of course it´s perfectly okay to have feelings, unfortunately it is still seen as a sign of weakness, especially in a cut-throat industry.

Hugs

[the_optimistParticipant]

JK– funny you should say that! I actually went to graduate school and got a degree in Public Policy with a focus on Mental Health! There are no jobs in that industry or my current one right now. It’s a nightmare.

I say that, though, knowing how lucky I am to have a job that provides health insurance and grocery money. I don’t want to come off as whiny, and I hope I don’t, I’m just so over everything right now.

Thanks for the reply

[the_optimistParticipant]

Cara, thanks! You’re right, I should go out tonight. You also made a great point about talking to HR and my boss together. I’ve already sent him a document outlining everything I currently do, but a face-to-face would be much better.

Oh, and I know about crying in the bathroom! I’ve never actually done it (more like crying in the street once…which, um…embarassing…) but probably could. Sigh.

[BradParticipant]

If it makes you feel any better, I really hate my job too. About the only positive things I can say about it are that my hours are a little bit flexible, my boss is nice, I’m capped at 40 hours per week (except during the occasional TDYs) so they can’t make me work overtime, the pay is decent and the benefits are too, and I have air conditioning. What I’m doing however makes me want to become an alcoholic. The work is mindnumbingly boring. At any given time I’m juggling 30-40 problems with about 25 different contractors. And I’m also expected to stay abreast of the roughly 500 contracts assigned to me. And fully read and understand each new contract and have a debriefing with my contractors to make sure they know what they’re supposed to do (HA! like I ever have time for that). The worst part about my job I’d have to say is that I spend roughly 1/3rd of my time justifying why the metrics look bad and why I’m behind on my work (do you see the irony here?). And the most honest answer (I don’t have enough time in a week to get everything done) is the answer the higher ups don’t want to hear, so I have to write these bullshit status updates (read: excuses) for why contract xyz isn’t closed yet. There are other things that annoy me about my job but I won’t go into all of them. The only thing that keeps me going now is that I’m working on my masters so I will be leaving this spirit-crushing field in a few years. Don’t really have any advice for you other than to say you’re not alone and I feel your pain.

[the_optimistParticipant]

Thanks Brad! Sorry to hear you’re dealing with much of the same things I am, but I’m glad you’ve got a new field to look forward to once you’re done with the master’s! Actually, my boyfriend and I have been talking about moving to a different state altogether, so the (right now very faraway) thought of being somewhere new is what’s keeping ME going. Stay strong.

[rickipediaParticipant]

Optimist, I was in a very similar position a few years back. It is definitely reckless to just walk out, but if the alternatives are feeling like you’re being rung dry psychologically, sometimes you gotta do it. Of course, since that isn’t possible in today’s economy, I suggest modifying your walk out to actually taking a day off. Sleep in, get a pedi, watch mindless daytime TV, take yourself out to a nice dinner- any of these things are great. If no one at work is gonna treat you right, then honey, take a day and treat yourself the way you ought to be treated! It sounds silly, only being one day and all, but it really is nice to think you’re sticking it to work now and again. If it’s not possible to get a day off, then find simple things to take your mind off of work, just a few minutes, every day. I used to window shop on my lunch, or enjoy a nice bottle of wine when I got home, get a happy hour decompression in after work once a week- whatever it is that you can eke out 10-15 minutes a day to just shake it off, it really will make the day more tolerable. I call it being needfully selfish.

And ALWAYS cover your ass- you sound smart enough to deserve that promotion, so be a little more aggressive in pursuing it. As for the gross boss, a subtle, yet pissy ‘Seriously?!’ can rattle a lecherous beast. Confidence goes a long way.

[the_optimistParticipant]

Thanks rickipedia! I know, I need to take more time to just RELAX. I’ve been getting way too wrapped up in this, feeling like I spend too much time working and not enough with the people I love. Oy, I could go on and on, but won’t.

Yes! I have been just making snide comments right back to him, to let the boss know that the lech is NOT welcome. Ugh. It’s frustrating, but thank you all for the advice and input!

[RangerchicParticipant]

I agree with Rickipedia. Take a day off to just relax! that will probably help just a little. Keep looking for a new job but maybe narrow it down to looking once a week. I’m looking for a new job and visiting the stupid job search sites everyday seems like such a let down since there isn’t much to apply for. Keep your head up – it can’t last forever!

[SabrinaParticipant]

I’m sorry to hear about your horrible work situation! What sorts of methods are you using to job hunt? Having been in that boat recently, I know that applying online is pretty much a blind shot in the dark and networking your way in is the way to go.

[the_optimistParticipant]

Rangerchic, thanks! Luckily I’ve got some vacation time coming up, which is sorely needed.
Sabrina, I stopped applying online because it just isn’t working. I’ve spread the word that I’m looking for a new job, so hopefully networking will do something to help. Thanks again everyone, it really helped hearing all of the feedback!! Hugs to all

[dandywarholParticipant]

Omg. I came to the forums today to bitch about my job and I just found this post. Haha wow good timing. I also hate my job. I get shit pay, have tyrants for bosses, no HR department, no benefits. All I have going for me is it’s still a paycheck, it’s full time, and it’s actually in my profession (photography). I get yelle at almost daily, told I’m not working hard enough (even though I am doing the job of 3 people), get cursed out, etc. I keep looking, almost every day for new jobs. My market is really small but I have had a few interviews. So I am trying to keep positive, but after days like today, it sucks. I could care less if they fired me tomorrow.
As for you, I guess I don’t have much advice for you! Just wanted to throw my support out there and it makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one. Although I wouldn’t wish crappy jobs on anyone. Except maybe my devil bosses.

[the_optimistParticipant]

I’m glad you all know where I’m coming from, and also sad that you all know where I’m coming from. Well, Happy Friday, kids. I wish for a weekend filled with cookies and booze upon all of us

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