March 26, 2012 at 10:17 pm #18854
Eh, both the bf and I are in grad school but in totally different fields and at totally different schools. So, as it turns out, his program is 70/30 men to women but we with the people he likes, its like 60/40, almost all (except one) is in a relationship. In my program is all women (except for one) and they’re predominately single. So, his friends from school have become our “couple friends” because they’re our friends and they have SO’s, also, its a truth universally acknowledged that they all like me better. So if he’s going to hang out with the people from his program, he’s going to probably bring me and they’ll probably bring whomever they’re living with too.
If I’m seeing my friends, its basically just a girls get together, so, no SOs (in my case, only my bf) and generally no boys allowed.
In the end, if we’re throwing any kind of party whether a dinner party or something bigger, we’ll invite both groups.March 28, 2012 at 3:05 pm #19177
Eh, I think whatever you guys are comfortable and happy with, you should stick with/strive for. It might sound ironic for me to comment on this, but what my boyfriend and I have, I’m comfortable with. I worried about it before that we didn’t have “couple friends”, but I realized a majority of our friends were single, so there was nothing I could do there. And then I worried that we didn’t have enough “shared” friends, but I saw the benefits of having separate friends, and occasionally hanging out with each other friends.
It’s nice to just hang out with my small group of friends, or club members, or what not, and just catch up or do whatever silly thing we do. Some things we do/talk about don’t really interest my boyfriend, so it’s fulfilling there. And then I get to share stories with the boyfriend. It’s like that for him too, as far as his major goes and other things. So, I personally don’t mind not having couple/shared friends. Maybe when we date for a long period of time, that might move up the totem pole, but for now, we’re happy.
If you only feel unhappy about your situation because other people find it weird, or you notice others don’t do what y’all do, I would try to focus on just what you want, and shut other opinions/looks out. (I know how persuasive other’s opinions can be about things, especially when more than one expresses it..) Then make a decision! ^_^
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