Passive-Aggressive Neighbor Drama

[iwannatalktosampsonParticipant]

Sooo I went to class today around 4 and then went and got drinks with a friend and came home at 9:30. My dog is rarely left home alone at night because between Ethan and I normally one of us is home by 7 at the latest. But not a big deal. I come home tonight and there is a note of my door that says this: “your DOG has been barking ALL NIGHT”. No signature.

Okay, fine. My bad. Seriously. I would apologize. Except I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHO YOU ARE. What the fuck is wrong with people these days that they can’t own their shit. I am not unapproachable at all. Ever – to anyone. Ask some of the DW people that have met me. I always say hi to my neighbors and smile and am generally a pretty pleasant individual.

But seriously, FUCK YOU. So this has happened what, once since we’ve had Sampson in 3 years? Seriously Ethan and I are not the going out type, and normally if we do Sampson stays at my MIL’s house or it’s me going out with my friends or Ethan going out with his. Or we bring the him with us. So this is literally the first time I can ever remember him being left alone past 7. I hate petty people. Hate them. I’ve had to listen to base from music and all sorts of shit really late at night. I don’t complain, because seriously, who the fuck cares? Get over it. Do your own shit. Watch a movie. Go in another room. The walls aren’t even that thin, and I know that because occasionally when I do hear base it is just the base and I can’t actually hear the music. I mean if this was a repeat problem, fine address it. But who leaves anonymous petty ass notes.

It just makes me want to start leaving bitchy ass notes about every fucking thing on their doors. I hate it when people assume you don’t know how to be a bitchy. I can. And I will if necessary. If you want to start this war, I’m game. I know how to light shit on fire in a paper bag.

[rachelParticipant]

UGH, that’s so annoying. I mean, if they had told you nicely, you’d probably be grateful for knowing that was going on. I’m always paranoid that Toby is loud when he’s left alone, but so far no one has complained.

[painted_ladyParticipant]

Why do people think that’s a better idea? I mean, if they come to you and they’re polite, the chances of you being cool about it are pretty high. Most people don’t cause scenes. But a note? With no name? That’s a guaranteed troublemaker. I lived in an apartment complex once with assigned spots and none for guests. Some idiot let a friend park in the garage, and so everyone’s spots got thrown off. I would call the office, but it was never enforced. I got tired of having to walk through the shady neighborhood, so I started parking in someone else’s spot and leaving polite notes on the car in my spot with my apartment number and my first name, along with the office number – in case they weren’t the one without a permit either. I, however, got notes with “STOP TAKING MY SPOT!!!!” in huge letters on my windshield. Finally I started leaving notes facing out on my own windshield: “MY SPOT IS BEING TAKEN, TOO. I’M CALLING THE OFFICE EACH TIME. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” And like magic, the notes stopped as did the spot-stealing.

[iwannatalktosampsonParticipant]

Seriously! Like if he gets anxiety when he is alone and it’s dark out that is something I would want to know!

So if you (or any other DW-ers) have any suggestions of how to handle this please let me know. All I can think of is immature petty responses. There is 3 neighbors that it could be. This is what I’m thinking. Photocopying the note and posting it on each of their doors saying this:

“Hi. I found this note on my door and I’m not sure if you’re the author, as the note was left anonymously. If you are, I’m not sure what impression you have gotten from me but if there is ever anything you would like to discuss I am extremely approachable. Also if my dog is distressed I would really like to know. As I’m sure you know we don’t leave him alone often at night, so I’m sure that’s where his barking came from. But I love him and these are things I would love to know. I apologize for the noise. I would like to apologize in person, but again I don’t know who complained or who the noise affected, but it’s important to me to keep the lines of communication open for any further issues or just to chat. So again, I apologize and please feel free to call me or stop by. My number is 303-123-4567. Thanks, IWTTS”

Is that too bitchy? I am genuine in my apology, but I also want to express my annoyance about how fucking immature it is to leave an anonymous note.

[iwannatalktosampsonParticipant]

There are 3 neighbors**

[painted_ladyParticipant]

Oh, that’s really good. I would have a hard time not being meaner, but that’s not going to stop anything.

[iwannatalktosampsonParticipant]

I know I actually re-read it and was thinking about adding a line that said something maybe at the end like this: “we are all adults here, and I would prefer if all further communication was done in person. As much as I appreciated the note, I would also appreciate the opportunity to discuss the matter in person”

[rachelParticipant]

I think that sounds pretty good! If anyone would get upset about that, they’re probably just going to be crabby about whatever you do.

[rachelParticipant]

I live in a duplex with a garage, so parking isn’t a problem, but the people who used to live next door to me used to be kind of a party house, so they would have a bunch of cars parked outside. Not really much of an issue. Except for the friend with the big truck who would always park like 6″ over my driveway. Especially a problem as the ramp up to my driveway is ridiculously steep and I have to take it an extreme angle in order to not bottom out my car. Kind of hard to do when there’s a truck RIGHTTHERE. Polite notes never worked. Then one day he had left the truck there and wasn’t there in the morning. It was an especially bad parking job. I seriously would have had to drive across my lawn to get out. The girls next door couldn’t (wouldn’t?) reach him. I had to call the police to get them to take it seriously, and someone finally came over with his keys to move the car. Pretty sure he got a ticket. The truck was never parked there again.

[bittergaymarkParticipant]

Eh, I’d let it go. I get the appeal of leaving a bitchy “I don’t know who you are” note, but in the end I truly don’t think it’s worth the trouble… It’s simply not that big a deal in that you don’t want to go to war over your neighbors over this. It could blow up into something silly and something big… I’d just quietly move on and forget about it.

[JKParticipant]

I think your note phrased like that is OK.
I would get the neighbour´s note if, say Sampson was alone all night long, if I wasn´t able to sleep because a dog was barking/howling I´d probably be pissed enoug to write something like that. But until 9.30?

[bluesundayParticipant]

I agree with BGM- don’t leave the note. If your neighbours are already annoyed with your for whatever reason, its just going to escalate the dislike. Just ignore it and move on.

And don’t take it personally, the person just felt they could be rude because they were anonymous. Maybe they have a hard time asserting themselves normally, are afraid of confrontation, or just had a really shitty day and listening to your dog bark just put them over the edge. In the grand scheme of things, a passive aggressive note is fairly low on the “horrible neighbor” scale, so just let it slide.

[bethanyParticipant]

I’d say to let it rest for now… But if it happens again, there’s nothing wrong with leaving the note you did. You’re asking people to come to you with a problem, so you can actually remedy it. I dont’ see anything wrong with that.

[bethanyParticipant]

also, you should hit up http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com

[JKParticipant]

@bethany I love that site!

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