relationship status

[CaraParticipant]

CECC? I like it. Sadly, I don´t own anything pink. Going out shopping RIGHT NOW!

(Not really. Going to start studying for tomorrows exam, because I haven´t done anything, then soccer game & beer)

On topic. I have said I love you in all of my 3 relationships, and while I realize now that in my first relationship I didn´t mean it, át the time I it was right.
I think it doesn´t have to be said all the time, but once in a while it´s obviously helpful, as seen in this letter.

[call-me-hoboParticipant]

IWTTS- I didn’t mean to imply anything by that!! I guess that from a very young age my mom always told me to make sure to say “I love you” because you never know when it could be the last time you see somebody. (Thinking about it now- I’m sure it’s because she was orphaned at a young age. She has always been anxiety ridden about sudden deaths, accidents, etc)

[lets_be_honestParticipant]

I know some people say saying it too much, like every goodbye, every phone call, etc., lessens the meaning. With my bf, or my daughter, I really don’t feel that way. I feel like we really, really mean it every time. So that’s cool.

CMH, since you apparently throw 143s at everyone, how come you haven’t told me you love me?

[call-me-hoboParticipant]

LBH- I LOVE YOU! But seriously, I love the DW community, and I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t come here and see everybody!

[iwannatalktosampsonParticipant]

No sorry that came off in a bitchy way and I didn’t mean it like that AT ALL. Its just not something that ever crosses my mind! Like everyone in my life knows that I’m not going to say it a lot. I do with Ethan way more now and will occasionally end a call with “k love you bye” but not all the time. One time my MIl said I love you and I said it back not thinking and I just about died. Like I wanted I call her and take it back – but I knew the damage had been done and I would be a total psycho if I actually did that.

[JKParticipant]

@callmehobo you´re such a sweetie.
Like I said on the I love you thread a while back, I´m not really one for saying it, either. I do say it to my husband a lot, with the girls I show it more, I think. Although I try to say it to them at bedtime.

@iwtts that would be the most awkward phone call ever.

[rilooyahParticipant]

Sampson, darling, I promise the following isnt aimed at making you feel bad/different/whatever, but maybe some background will help:

My family has always been very “I love you”-ish. When my parents separated/divorced, I was in uhhhhhhhhhh 8th grade. (yeah, or the summer in between 7th and 8th…yeah.) And my brother and I moved out with my dad (bc my mother is..well…kinda crazy), and my dad REALLY stepped it up (bc mother wouldnt really let him be as hands-on before as he would like to), and since then I NEVER end a ph convo or any conversation with him without a “love you, bye.” And I think that time was the formative period for me when I realized what love truly is. I think that really made me realize that when love someone, you need to be able to tell them- not bc who knows if it will be the last time (TOTALLY valid point tho), but just bc… why not? If you have those warm, happy feelings for a person (platonic, familial, romantic, whatever), then why hold it in?

Did I thread-jack? If so, I didnt mean to…or something.

Happy Thursday to everyone.

AND hugs and kisses to all! DW is awesome.

[iwannatalktosampsonParticipant]

No it’s all good Rilooyah, I fully admit that I should probably get some therapy on why I hold back. Maybe I have a fear of rejection – maybe I have a fear that everyone will leave me so I shouldn’t get too attached – I mean there is probably no limit to the amount of psychological medication I should be taking. But I just. can’t. do it. I’m like a bitchy cat – you have to earn my love – and even then it is only distributed in small doses.

[rickipediaParticipant]

So I’m not looking to marry, per se (althought the Seventeen magazine wedding would be a good time, definitely) I was engaged when I was 22 to the guy I was with in college, but called that off pretty soon after we entered the real world and I realized love was great but realistically, it didn’t help pay rent or bills, etc. (and neither did he, heh). I’ve never really thought a whole lot about it since- I guess I’m in the c’est le vie camp on the whole thing.

I’ve been in relationships where we’ve exchanged I love yous, and I’ve been in flings where we didn’t… I think the sitch here is just that I can’t figure out his feelings (he’s a pretty closed book on emotions, etc) and I’ve taken the tack of maybe I should let his actions speak for him. I’m not a huggy, emotion-discusser really, but I am definitely the type that will assess every so often, so that I know where I stand. It’s the not knowing where I stand with him that seems to be the object of my fixation. I just want to know what he feels about me, that’s all.

Even if I get to the point where I tell him I love him, I am still of the very few and far between camp- I don’t come from a family where we say it much, and though I frequently throw it around with my friends, it’s more of a ‘and that’s why I love you’ than it is a genuine ‘I love you for being my friend’.

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