May 31, 2012 at 12:54 am #28272
Lebowski, the 8 year old tabby, has a stomach tumor. We found out this morning, have to make a decision on when to euthanize him, and it is depressing the shit out of me. Today has been a mixture of crying, suppressing tears, crying, suppressing tears. I had to put a cat down once before (she was paralyzed by a neighbors dog) and she just purred and purred and purred as I pet her one last time in the vet’s office. I know I am going to totally lose it when we put Lebowski down. Still, this is my boyfriend’s cat that has been with him throughout his 20′s and I have to be strong for him. Even though I kind of just want to step out of the supportive role for a second and have someone to tell me it’s going to be okay. Why can’t pets just grow old and gray with us?
I just need an outlet for this. I have to be strong for my boyfriend, plus I don’t want to completely bum my friends out. Anyone need a good cry and want to rehash a depressing pet story?May 31, 2012 at 1:57 am #28276
Losing pets is awful. Sorry you guys have to put him down.
Our dog Morenita was with us for 15 years. She had been run over/hit like 3 time (by my dad, ha), had some weird hernia issue, but she was awesome and made it a pretty long time. We loved her so much. Toward the end of her life, she was just getting tired and had more and more difficulties getting around the house (she was a chihuahua and we had stairs), and eventually issues just walking in general. It was getting close to us needing to put her down, but I don’t think we really wanted to let go because there was nothing overtly wrong.
Well, New Year’s rolls around one year and it’s crazy pouring that night. My dad lets the dog out in the morning, and kind of leaves her to her own devices (not abnormal for her). Later he realized it had been awhile and she still hadn’t “asked” to come in, so when he went outside he found her face down in this huge puddle/marshy thing that accumulates in our backyard every time it rains really bad. She had drowned And it was probably in part due to the fact that she had her walking issues We felt pretty awful.
At the time my dad found her, I was at work, so my brother called to tell me and I thought he was playing some awful joke. I cried awkwardly in the backroom in front of my manager. A hell of a way to kick off a new year :-/May 31, 2012 at 2:29 am #28277
That’s rough. I’ve never had to do that. My poor mom though had to put our little dog down — I was already away in California embarking on the career that would ultimately destroy my life. All you can do, sobriquet, is KNOW you are doing the right thing and that the cat had a really great life and all that jazz…. It’s a cliche, sure, but it’s also true.
When my mom called, I was all strong and all composed as she sobbed and sobbed. Somehow, I kept it together, telling her it had to be done and blah blah blah. You did the right thing. She understands… She was suffering so…
Twenty minutes later… All dressed up and frantically driving across town with a Boogie Nights premiere to go, I find myself stuck in horrible traffic on Hollywood Blvd. Everything is fine, just fine. But then this blasted Annie Lennox song comes on the radio… NO MORE I LOVE YOU’S… Anyway, it’s a demented song in lots of ways (see the link for the video below…) Wonderful but strange… (Listen especially to the mid section break where she talks about monsters being outside in a babytalk voice…) That’s the sight of my greatest public emotional breakdown, right there on Hollywood at Wilcox.
See, suddenly, out of nowhere, this little grainy home “movie” of my Boston Terrier starts playing in my head. Duchess running across the yard at the lakes… and Annie Lennox is wailing away, damn her!
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MORE I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU’S. LANGUAGE IS LEAVING ME…..”
My little dog fetches the stick now, runs over…
“NOOOOOOO MORE I LOVE YOU’S….”
She jumps up. Licking my face….
“CHANGES ARE SHIFTING OUTSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE THE WORLD… ”
A horrible dark cloud appears.
(Demented Laughter on the track — pouring now through my car’s bumping speakers.)
My dog runs for the house as the thunder booms… Rain comes pouring down… Soaking her… She really hates to get wet… She’s panicking…
And now the song REALLY crescendos… Demented Annie Lennox babytalk voice: “And we’ll be really crazy. And we’ll all be gone . And you know what, mommy? Everybody will be really crazy.” More DEMENTED LAUGHTER…. “Ah Ha! The monsters are crazy. There’s monsters outside…”
And it suddenly hits me that my little dog is dead. And I just totally lose it.
“NO MORE I LOVE YOU’S… LANGUAGE IS LEAVING ME.”
What’s worse is that I am stuck in traffic. Hopelessly stuck. Not only that. But I’m at a dead stop. Because the AC is shot on my old Mustang, all the windows are down… I am mere inches away from the car next to me that is also dead stopped going the other way, so that driver is right there… looking over… And I’m just bawling. I don’t just think people are staring. They really ARE staring. I’m sure some are still talking about it… I looked completely insane…
“NO MORE I LOVE YOU’S… THE LANGUAGE LEAVING ME IN SILENCE… NO MORE I LOVE YOU’S…
CHANGES ARE SHIFTING OUTSIDE THE WORLD… OUTSIDE THE WORLD…. NO MORE I LOVE YOU’S…”
The song goes on and on and on forever as does my breakdown. I barely make it to the fucking premiere and I hate that fucking movie. I hate the movie because it all seems so stupid and so trite and just a bunch of hopelessly fucked up people suffering through their hopelessly fucked up lives… none of which are a pure and innocent as my dead little dog.
To this day, I can’t listen to that song in public. A few years back I was grocery shopping at Albertsons when out of nowhere and for no good reason this odd muzac version of it came on and I literally had to bail… I just up and abandoned my cart and walked out… I can’t believe how long ago that awful day was… It was in October… And this wasn’t the big premiere, just the LA one.May 31, 2012 at 8:02 am #28288
I´m sorry, I know how awful it is to lose a beloved pet (I´ve lost SO many).
I was trying to find something online that I always find comforting in these cases, but couldn´t, I came across the following instead (not as beautiful as the one I had in mind but carries a similar message)
PUT ME TO REST
Time to let me go my friend,
Because my life no-one can mend,
Its better to let me go this way,
Than watch me suffer night and day.
I’m happy to go, my time has come,
My quality of life is no longer fun,
Ive been so ill, so its not a bad thing,
To let me go forever resting.
Stay with me till I drift away,
Fast asleep forever I pray,
To relieve me from suffering and pain,
What more can I ask from my best friend.
Don’t be sad, I’ll be free from pain,
Never to be ill ever again,
I know you’ll miss me being there,
But all the memories you have to share.
Thankyou for being my best friend,
And all my needs that you did tend,
Try not to be sad, try not to cry,
Now’s the time to say GOODBYE.May 31, 2012 at 8:27 am #28292
It is so hard to lose a pet. They are part of the family. I have had to euthanize 2 cats. One was my “heart cat” – we was like the cat version of my soulmate. He was born under my stepmother’s desk and I brought him to my house when he was 8 weeks old. His real name was Feral, but we all called him Babykitty. A few weeks before he passed away (I didn’t know at the time), I got a big tattoo of him on my arm with fairy wings. He had twisted stomach (something rarely seen in cats, usually seen in broad chested, small waist dogs) and there was no other choice. I had no time to prepare for it because of the amount of pain he was in. I still miss him every day. He was crazy and a little (ok, a lot) mean to everyone but me, but I carried him everywhere with me in my purse. When he got too big for my purse, I bought a bigger one. When he got too big for that one, I bought him his own duffel bag to be carried around in.
That was a few years ago, but in January of 2010 I had to do it all over again. This one was my husband’s cat and he was diagnosed with diabetes. We tried for months to stabilize him and find the right medications and amount of insulin, but he just kept deteriorating. Eventually, he was walking flat-footed in back (on his ankles instead of his feet), lost control of his bladder (he knew when he had to go, but just didn’t have enough time) and was so skinny and sad. The worst part was it was a few weeks after my husband was incarcerated that I brought him to the vet one last time and that was when I had to make that decision.
Ugh, now I’m all sad and at work The best thing you can do is be there for your boyfriend. It is hard to let go and say goodbye, but it is often the best thing you can do for your pet. I’m sending positive thoughts your way.May 31, 2012 at 9:57 am #28336
We had a family guard dog that we brought to Canada from Guyana. Truly he belonged to my mom though – their spirits were connected somehow. He was diagnosed with a tumor when he was 12yrs old – we chose not to operate because of the placement of the tumor (the operation had a high chance of killing him and it was likely he would have been in considerable pain afterward) but cared for him very well, cooking healthy meals for him, keeping him active and happy. The vets were shocked at how well he was doing and couldn’t believe he was sick at all… and he lived for over two more active years. At Easter two years ago he stopped eating and could barely walk. He declined so quickly. And even though it was hard for him, the last day he got up and just wanted to walk the whole of our property (he was the best guard dog) – it was like he knew it was the last thing he had to do before he left us – to make sure we were safe. When it was time, we called the vet and I just held him when the vet gave him his final injection since it was too much for my mom. I’m glad I was able to be with him to the very end even though it was hard. I miss him all the time.
Just do the best for the kitty that you can. It is the hardest part of being a pet owner. If they are in pain then you have to step up as much as it hurts you to. Just be there for your boyfriend – tell him is okay to grieve after however he wants because it isn’t just some cat that died – but his beloved family member. Oh and if the kitty isn’t in pain – you don’t have to do anything now – our puppy lived with his tumor for years even though the vet didn’t think he would.May 31, 2012 at 12:25 pm #28389
We had to put the family rabbit to sleep last fall, and it was the hardest thing ever. My dad and I were there while the vet put the shot in her, and I was just bawling my eyes out. I could have left before the final shot, but I felt like she should have someone with her in her last moments. She was a part of our family for half of my life, and I still miss her from time to time, especially her hopping around the house. It’s always so hard to lose a pet. So sorry for your painMay 31, 2012 at 12:34 pm #28390
Putting a pet down is so awful. I have two dogs who are 5 and 2 right now and I’m standing by the fact that they are going to live forever. I can’t handle the thought of losing them.
In 2007 our family dog was so sick, she had diabetes and at that point was 14. We could all tell it was the end because of the way she was acting. We had a day scheduled to all take her together to the vet but she had a seizure the day before and passed away. We were all glad she went on her own in her sleep, she passed away just like she did everything else very much on her own terms! Sometimes when I’m home I still expect to see her coming around the corner or check the sofa to see if she’s curled up in the corner.
The thing I keep telling myself is she was in so much pain at the end that it wasn’t fair to ask her to stay. It’s better for them to let go. It doesn’t make it any easier.May 31, 2012 at 12:50 pm #28397
I’m sorry about the cat….he has an awesome name btw.
“YOU’RE name is Lebowski, Lebowski”May 31, 2012 at 1:07 pm #28402
Were you thinking of the rainbow bridge poem? I copy it for friends whenever they lose a pet. Sobriquet, I’m so sorry for you and your boyfriend! My dog is my world. Here is the poem. Some may find it cheezy but it brings a tear to my eye every time I read it!
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….May 31, 2012 at 1:20 pm #28407
Aw, I’m so sorry. I haven’t lost a pet as an adult yet. I’m still in denial that my cat and dog won’t live forever.May 31, 2012 at 1:43 pm #28414
@mar1985 that´s really sweet, as well… the thing I´m thinking of is like a letter from pet to master, describing all the things it will do, and at the end that all it asks in return is that the master will realize when the time comes to let go of the pet and do what has to be done. It makes me cry every time I read it, but I always have a hard time finding it!June 1, 2012 at 8:17 am #28497
I have lost some pets and I know it isn’t easy. They give back so unconditionally. It is especially difficult when a disease strikes so young because they are so innocent.June 1, 2012 at 9:28 am #28510
When I was in college I had a guinea pig names Mr Squiggles (RIP, little buddy). He was awesome and was my first pet as an “adult”. After I’d had him about 4 years I found out he had a tumor in his abdomen and was devestated. I decided that I’d take it day by day and when he was ready to go, I’d let him.
Well, one day I came home from work and found him just laying in his cage. He didn’t move when I came over. He didn’t even lift his head. I knew it was bad. I called my mom sobbing, and she was basically no help- she wasn’t an animal person and didn’t know what to do. So I rushed him to an animal hospital that was neareby. They saw him right away, and let me know that the tumor had ruptured and the mass was crushing all his internal organs, including his lungs. He could barely breathe. So the only thing to do was to put him down. He was suffering terrribly. It kills me because I was at work all day- I have no idea how long he was laying there, gasping for air.
Anyway, I had to wait about 20 minutes for them to put him down while they got ready. I sat in the waiting room all alone sobbing. Strangers were coming up and hugging me, and sitting with me… I’ll never forget that.
The vets told me that because a GP’s veins are so small they wouldn’t be able to put the needle in his vein, they’d have to sedate him and shoot it right into his heart. They said that because of the tumor rupturing, his heart was displaced, so they might not hit it on the first try, and I might not want to be present for that. I told them that if they thought I wasn’t going to be back there with him until the end they were crazy. So I went back and said goodbye to him. I told him he was the best little piggie in the world and that I’d always love him. He tried to lift his head while I was saying goodbye, but he couldn’t, and it fell down on the metal table… I’ll never forget that. Anyway, as I held his little paw they sedated him, and got the needle in his heart on the first try. I sat with him until he was gone. I made them get rid of his cage, because there was no way I could go back to my apartment with the cage, but no Squiggs.
After it was all over I sat in my car and sobbed. A thunderstorm broke out, and I just sat there in the rain and cried and cried and cried. It was the worst day ever, and I think that day helped me to really become an adult. It was such grown up thing to do, and I did it alone.
He died 7 years ago this month… I still think about him and talk about him all the time. I had him cremated, and his ashes are in a little box in my house, so he’s always with me.June 1, 2012 at 11:52 pm #28583
This is the saddest thread ever.
I’ve never had to put down an animal, but I have lost many wonderful furry friends. Like Laura, our family dog passed away on New Year’s Day. She had been coughing a bit during the night, but we didn’t think much of it. The next day she could barely move. We rushed her to the vet and he started treatment, but called us an hour later and told us she didn’t make it. I felt so bad because we weren’t there when it happened. I remember when we picked her up and took her in the car, I had the feeling that she would not be coming back with us. And still we left her with the vet. We were so shocked because the day before she was running around like her crazy, hyper self. I still miss her, but I knew she was suffering. If the vet had recommended to euthanize her, I would have just so I could have been with her during her final moments.
Also, when I was in junior high, my horse got really ill. She was older, and she never seemed to get better. We tried so many different treatments, surgeries, etc. I felt like we were just prolonging the inevitable. I was sad when she passed away, but I knew it was unfair for her to suffer.
I used to get really upset when my animals died when I was younger because my parents would never tell me. And when our dog died, I cried and my mom told me “see this is why we never tell you when things die”. Which I thought was a little over the line. It’s okay to cry. I have only seen my dad cry twice in my life, at his dad’s funeral and when our dog died.
Now I’m going to hug my old, senile cat and give him treats.
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