Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

The Paul Ryan and the dirty GOP are wasting no time screwing over women as much and as quickly as they can in this new year: GOP to ‘defund’ Planned Parenthood in Obamacare repeal — “The defunding measure would take away roughly $400 million in Medicaid money from the group in the year after enactment, according to the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office, and would result in roughly 400,000 women losing access to care. One factor is that being enrolled in Medicaid doesn’t guarantee access to a doctor, so women denied Medicaid services from Planned Parenthood may not be able to find replacement care.”

Here’s how to help:

1. Donate to Planned Parenthood (even without defunding, they need your financial assistance to provide health care to women, many of whom cannot afford it on their own).

2. Call Speaker Ryan now at 608-752-4050 and demand that he back down from his assault on Planned Parenthood and women. Sample Script:

“Hi, my name is ____________ and I live in _____________.

I’m calling to ask Speaker Ryan NOT to hold a vote on any attempt to defund Planned Parenthood.

We see through your blatantly political attempt to do whatever it takes to attack women’s health and rights and take health care away from the people who need it most. If Congress cuts funding to Planned Parenthood, millions of people will be left without access to birth control, lifesaving cancer screenings, and other basic care. Many of them will have nowhere else to go for the health care they need.

I’m counting on Speaker Ryan to do the right thing and stand up for the Planned Parenthood patients in our community and across the country who rely on those health centers.

I stand with Planned Parenthood because [insert your own story, if you like].

I expect Speaker Ryan to stop any attacks on Planned Parenthood and the vital health services they provide.

Thank you for your time.”

Oops: The Washington Post Uses Male Symbol to Announce Historic Women’s March

Great tips here for going to the Women’s March in Washington, as well the importance of protesting and how to participate even if you can’t get to DC.

If You’re Planning to Attend the Women’s March on Washington, Here’s How to Register

Both Sides of a Breakup: Their Open Marriage Still Makes Him Want to Vomit

Rockette Management Tells Dancers to “Tolerate Intolerance” in the Wake of Inauguration Backlash

In case you aren’t completely over 2016 yet: “Behind the Lens: 2016 Year in Photographs”

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

Follow along on Facebook, and Instagram.

52 comments… add one
  • avatar

    keyblade January 6, 2017, 2:44 pm

    I find it challenging to find and dissect information around cutting Medicaid and Planned Parenthood. I’m trying to understand how it is set up. I’ve found this site:

    http://www.cbpp.org/research/state-budget-and-tax/how-state-tax-policies-can-stop-increasing-inequality-and-start

    I’m wondering which areas accrue the most benefit from the legislation Paul Ryan wants to repeal and what the financial pic looks like in those States. I’m also really interested in understanding the difference between who gets what in more rural areas versus larger cities.

    Does anyone have any suggested reading?

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  • avatar

    Sionainn January 6, 2017, 7:05 pm

    Ugh, this site is just too political now. I have other sites I go to for that. I’m not sure what this site is really about anymore, but I know since Trump “happened”, it’s suddenly now just so hung up on politics. It’s like suddenly now everyone “cares”. I didn’t come here for that. And frankly I’m tired of people whining about it (no, I did not vote for Trump). Republicans lived with Obama for 8 yrs, who did “horrible and terrible” things in opposition to their beliefs, now it’s the Liberals turn. Oh well. That’s just the way it works. It’s only 4yrs. There’ll be many more presidents.

    See ya, DW.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy January 6, 2017, 7:11 pm

      Yes, it is the liberals turn to oppose and play defense against a dangerous and scary lunatic of a president. No hard feelings if that’s annoying for you. Have a great time!

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    • avatar

      RedRoverRedRover January 6, 2017, 7:32 pm

      I know! I’m PAYING for a SPECIFIC SERVICE here and I expect Wendy to uphold the terms and conditions of our contract! You signed one too, right? And you’re making your monthly payments? Because otherwise, if you’re complaining about someone else’s blog that you pay nothing to read, you don’t really have a leg to stand on.

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    • avatar

      carolann January 6, 2017, 11:27 pm

      @sionainn
      I don’t really care for all the political stuff either. I also have other places I go to for that. I just pass over it and look for what I find interesting. I respect that it is Wendy’s blog and I don’t have to agree with every single thing on here to enjoy it.
      You are entitled to your opinion just as much as anyone and have the right to comment how you feel about it without anyone getting nasty with you. Being able to comment does not mean your comments have to be exactly what every other person wants to hear.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy January 7, 2017, 6:37 am

        Look, I get it. This isn’t where you have traditionally come to read about politics. And for some people, they don’t want to think about or read about politics at all. I, for one, wouldn’t mind sticking my head in the sand and ignoring everything going on in the world of politics. But I can’t. I, and a whole lot of other people, happen to believe (for a long, long list of reasons) that we have elected a dangerous madman who is hellbent on destroying the fabric of democracy. I can’t keep writing about hair brushes and dating and breakups without using my voice and my platform to also help share information and shape some sort of dialogue around what I see as threats against our democracy. And not for nothing, but traffic has actually gone up a bit since the election, and I’ve received lots of emails and comments of support for direction this site has taken.

        That said, I don’t plan for DW to become all politics all the time. I don’t want that and I don’t think anyone else does. But I will keep sharing, probably on a weekly basis, articles of interest and steps of activism people can take to make their voices heard. Living in a very blue city in a very blue state, I am somewhat limited in how I can affect change. My local representatives are already on the right side, so I make calls of support instead of calls of persuasion or outrage. With small kids, it’s challenging for me to get to every rally and protest I’d like to attend. But I can make donations to causes I care about and I can use this platform (and social media) to help spread information and shape a dialogue and normalize activism and caring about politics and democracy. I can use my voice to say that it’s ok to keep talking about hair brushes and dating and breakups or whatever, but let’s also make a little space for this other thing that’s pretty important and that’s affecting us, especially as women, on scales both big and small.

        I respect if people would rather make that space for such dialogue and thought elsewhere, if they don’t want to dilute their “entertainment” with thoughts of politics. But I can’t respect if you are ignoring politics completely, and I can’t respect if you are seriously arguing that I refrain from addressing topics that are important to me and to many others because you find them tedious or not what you come here for or you don’t want to engage with people you disagree with politically. And I sure as shit can’t respect anyone who says about people exercising their right to free speech and protest to “quit whining.” Fighting for justice is what got us all the rights and freedoms we have now.

        So, I’m going to keep talking politics on a regular basis — not because I finally “care” when I never did before, but because I see failure in our democracy that I cannot ignore and I feel an obligation to help fight, even whatever tiny ways I can.

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    • avatar

      Kate January 7, 2017, 7:40 am

      Whatever, you people who keep popping up here just to whine that you don’t want to see political stuff, if that’s true then *get off of Facebook.* Wendy posts one political post a freaking week. Your social media feed is a cesspool. I’ve been so much happier since I quit. Wendy, you didn’t have to defend abything. Your site, your message, your traffic.

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      • avatar

        Kate January 7, 2017, 7:42 am

        …no Facebook, just reputable news sites for the last 2 months. Try it.

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      • avatar

        carolann January 7, 2017, 10:26 am

        For the record, I gave up fb in 2014 and have never looked back.

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      • avatar

        Kate January 7, 2017, 10:32 am

        Right, and your comment was totally reasonable, Carolann. I wasn’t directing that toward you, but Sionann and a few other sweethearts who came out of nowhere in the past couple months just to complain about the political “tone” here.

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      • avatar

        Kate January 7, 2017, 10:34 am

        Well, fairly reasonable. No one “got nasty” with her, or any nastier than she was.

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  • avatar

    keyblade January 7, 2017, 9:25 am

    That is awesome Kate! I’m working on finding news that provides facts, avoids leading headlines that are overly emotional or dramatic, and I’m slowly finding a balance of sources that speak from a range of political viewpoints, from a range of interests including financial analysis, and the local issues across and within states, and the city/suburb/rural divides.

    This is a new for me and in order to self-regulate and be pro-active while remaining mentally and socially healthy, I’m trying to mindfully decide the time that goes into building my new’s base up. It’s a balancing act.

    My personal role is try to limit the amount of time I spend on news that markets itself as entertainment. It is too easy for me to just educate myself in markets which are designed to hold attention. There is a place for that, but it’s like consuming dessert before eating the meal, and Facebook is a huge buffet where sweets are regularly over-consumed.

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    • avatar

      keyblade January 7, 2017, 9:27 am

      I think building up attention span is huge.

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      • avatar

        keyblade January 7, 2017, 9:30 am

        I still think paying for journalism and beginning from a local perspective and moving outwards is good way to get started.

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    • avatar

      Kate January 7, 2017, 9:39 am

      I also check Snopes regularly because they’re dedicated to fact checking and have been around forever.

      I had fewer than 200 “friends” on FB because I wouldn’t connect with strangers, current co-workers, or any family member. I unfollowed some people prior to the election, but I was still seeing bullshit because if one of my friends decided to engage with someone politically, I’d see it. The real reason I left, on the 9th or 10th of November, was all the stupid fake news that Zuckerburg wasn’t aware of or addressing.

      And I know there’s still a ton of bullshit floating around on there because my husband is a sports journalist and has a couple thousand “friends.” I don’t even look at his feed, but as recently as yesterday he was dropping a comment on a stupid argument about Obamacare.

      Look, how hard is it to avoid the occasional column or forum post about politics when you’re looking at all that shit on social media every day and probably participating?

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    • avatar

      RedRoverRedRover January 7, 2017, 6:19 pm

      For what it’s worth, Canada’s national news is pretty good. It’s completely funded by the govt so it’s not out to make money. Similar to BBC except I think it has more coverage of the US since we’re more affected by it than the UK is. cbcnews.ca

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  • avatar

    Kate January 7, 2017, 9:51 am

    And to Wendy’s point, it’s kind of interesting that you didn’t all come out of the woodwork to complain about me talking about a damn electric hairbrush 50 times (which would be absolutely legit to say STFU about that thing), but you do have a huge problem with some weekly suggestions about activism. Give me a break, Green Apples and the rest of you, I know you’re still reading.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy January 7, 2017, 10:03 am

      Well, I looked up Sionann on FB, and surprise surprise, she likes Donald trump’s page (the only political figure she likes), and Fox News (one of two news sources she likes). I don’t think it’s the political nature she has issue with here, but the angle.

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      • avatar

        Kate January 7, 2017, 10:09 am

        Shocker.

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      • avatar

        Ron January 7, 2017, 11:25 am

        So she very well may be a paid political troll. A lying troll for certain.

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom January 7, 2017, 11:09 am

      Since no one forces anyone to click on any specific link I don’t see the reason for the complaint. I almost never read all of the links, just the ones that sound interesting. We are all free to click and look at what we want. It seems that someone doesn’t want anyone to have the opportunity to click on something that they don’t personally like. Someone doesn’t want to see or hear that others have different points of view. Again, that someone is never forced to read those points-of-view. They are easily skipped over. I personally skipped over the hairbrush discussion. It is easy to do.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy January 7, 2017, 11:35 am

        Oh, this is definitely about oppression and wanting to silence any hint of discontent or uprising against our new administration. There have been PLENTY of “off-topic” conversations here (I’ve even written about politics a lot in previous years). Trump supporters don’t want to see liberals do what the right did for the last 8 years: challenge their opposition’s agenda; question and/or mock their opposition’s leader(s); recruit others to fight against the opposition. Well, too bad. Trump supporters better pull up their big girl and boy underpants and get used to constant criticism of their guy. They haven’t even seen anything yet.

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    • avatar

      carolann January 7, 2017, 11:22 am

      I don’t think I was complaining actually. I was trying to make the point that what you don’t agree with, you don’t have to read. Comments are for people to speak their mind, right? She (I am just assuming it is a she) has the right to say she doesn’t like something.
      And maybe I like hearing about your hairbrush!

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      • avatar

        Kate January 7, 2017, 11:30 am

        Again, Carolann, this isn’t addressed toward you.

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      • avatar

        Kate January 7, 2017, 11:33 am

        Not trying to be rude, but it’s not, like I said above. You didn’t really complain, and I’ve seen you actually contributing to discussions. You didn’t jump on here for the sole purpose of political trolling.

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    • avatar

      Kate January 8, 2017, 8:42 am

      Here it is, straight from the de-classified CIA report: Paid trolls.

      “Moscow’s influence campaign followed a Russian messaging strategy that blends covert intelligence operations — such as cyberactivity — with overt efforts by Russian government agencies, state-funded media, third-party intermediaries and paid social media users or ‘trolls.'”

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy January 8, 2017, 9:48 am

        Bingo.

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      • avatar

        keyblade January 8, 2017, 3:19 pm

        That guy a few weeks ago that said “yeah, that happened” felt like a paid troll to me.

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  • avatar

    Anonymousse January 7, 2017, 1:06 pm

    I like your voice, Wendy. We’ve had a privelaged eight years with Obama and without all these giant issues hanging over our heads. We have to fight to get this idiot out of office. I respect and admire Wendy for continuing to speak out about issues that concern her, because they concern the majority of us. Especially women, but not exclusively.

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  • avatar

    MissDre January 7, 2017, 2:27 pm

    Keep doing what you’re doing, Wendy. I support you 100%.

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  • avatar

    ScreenSinger January 7, 2017, 5:20 pm

    Whoever designed that WaPo cover has either seen Austin Powers far too many times or not nearly enough.

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    • avatar

      Anonymousse January 8, 2017, 12:51 pm

      Ha ha!

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  • avatar

    carolann January 8, 2017, 12:42 pm

    I need DW advice on how you do it all with two small kids. I also have two small kids. (I have an adult kid too, but she is off traveling, lucky girl!) I work from home. (Or attempt to) and find it hard to get much work done these days.
    ( As I am writing this bigger kid has a nerf gun pointed at me and my two year old Princess is coming at me with a light saber) Sigh…
    BUT, I wouldn’t miss it for the world!

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    • avatar

      Kate January 8, 2017, 12:50 pm

      “Having it all” or “doing it all” is a myth. Sorry. Men are fine with you working, but you’ve still gotta do it all at home too. Surprise! Now, it helps immensely if you have a partner who shares the housework and childcare with you equally, but you still need to let go of trying to be a perfect parent AND perfect employee. You cannot do both. You need to prioritize and put your focus on the parts of each job that actually matter, and train yourself not to care about the rest.

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      • avatar

        carolann January 9, 2017, 10:15 pm

        I am lucky my husband shares a lot of the at home responsibilities when he is here. He works 7 days a week.
        I am going to try the “parts of each job that actually matter” and ignore the rest. I sometimes get going in too many directions.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy January 8, 2017, 3:19 pm

      I don’t know! I don’t even have a full time job, and I’ve run myself so ragged and gotten so stressed out with my obligations that my hair has fallen out. Literally. I’ve completely lost my eyebrows, my eyelashes are now nearly gone and I’ve probably lost 15-20% of the hair on my head. I suspect I have stress-induced alopecia and have an appt. with a dermatologist in a couple weeks to confirm and find out wtf I can do. I’ve been in bed all day – most of the weekend, really, because I’m
      So sick, because I never sleep anymore and my immune system is fucked and because the holidays made life even more exhausting and stressful and now my body is totally revolting and I don’t blame it. Something has to give this year. I have to prioritize self-care because if I don’t, well, I won’t have the health or energy to care for anyone else.

      Having it all is a myth!

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      • avatar

        keyblade January 8, 2017, 3:24 pm

        It strange but it really seems like a lot of people have been getting sick lately with especially virulent bugs. There is something in the air this year that seems to have kept the sickness, lingering.

        We just have to remember to stay in the present moment.

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      • avatar

        Kate January 8, 2017, 3:27 pm

        Wendy, I’m sorry. We’ve had some monstrously aggressive thing we caught from my cousin for two effing weeks now. I was basically in bed all last weekend.

        Something has got to give for you this year. Are you a perfectionist? Or what do you think is driving this degree of emotional distress? I feel like you need to talk to someone who will give you permission to just let a lot of it go. I know you’ve been trying. I hope you start to find more peace.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy January 8, 2017, 9:06 pm

        Thanks, Kate. I’m working on it.

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      • avatar

        Kate January 8, 2017, 3:38 pm

        Or let at least some of it go. Maybe not THIS intense, but, you know, similar:

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GtkST5-ZFHw

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      • avatar

        carolann January 9, 2017, 7:06 pm

        I started losing a lot of hair. I have very thick hair, but it has started thinning at my temples. My eyelashes have started to look sparse. I have also been more tired than normal and had very dry skin.
        I did a “iodine patch test” and my patch faded fast. I read somewhere that a high percentage of woman don’t get enough iodine and it can cause all sorts of health issues. I am now supplementing with iodine and selenium (they work well together) and waiting to see if it helps.
        I am using liquid iodine because kelp and iodine pills can contain arsenic.
        There is a website you can check out that tells all about it.
        http://www.iodine-resource.com/
        I was also going to try MSM which is supposed to be good for all kinds of things including hair growth.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy January 9, 2017, 7:39 pm

        If you’re losing hair from an iodine deficiency, it sounds like you probably have hypothyroidism, which is a thyroid disorder that I have and have been taking medication for for the last six years or so. I see an endocrinologist ever few months and get labs done frequently, so I know my thyroid levels are normal and being managed with appropriate treatment. My hair loss is beyond just thinning, unfortunately. But I am hopeful a dermatologist can give me some answers and maybe even prescribe something that may help with hair regrowth. And, if not, well… I’ll just have to explore other options to camouflage my hair loss.

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      • avatar

        Kate January 9, 2017, 8:01 pm

        I’m pretty sure products like Nioxxin can help. And the biotin supplement. Whatever a doc recommends. If not, rest assured that it’s not noticeable and there’s a lot you can do to work with thinner hair. My mom manages to look like she has a very full head of hair through a combo of hair powders, volumizers, and rollers. Not in an old-lady way either – it looks cute. My aunt had the alopecia for a while but I think she fixed it because (not that I asked), she used to have a noticeable balding spot and she doesn’t anymore.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy January 10, 2017, 7:04 am

        I’ve been taking the biotin you recommended for a couple of months now. Still too early to say whether it’s helping.

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      • avatar

        Kate January 9, 2017, 8:08 pm

        Or maybe something more hardcore like this:

        https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/09/160922093317.htm

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      • avatar

        Kate January 9, 2017, 8:45 pm

        I also read that doctors will prescribe propecia to women who are past childbearing age (it causes birth defects, but since you’re done having kids and have taken measures to prevent….). That shit works.

        My ex boyfriend suddenly FREAKED the hell out that he was losing his hair. Almost 10 years ago he was prescribed propecia, with the strong warning that if he was ever TTC he would have to stop taking it. In pictures I’ve seen of him, his hair has not receded at all and he has A LOT of it. Unfortunately he’s married and I assume wants kids, so… it’s gonna be a choice.

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      • avatar

        Kate January 10, 2017, 8:06 am

        Stick with the biotin, Wendy. It was actually 9 months from the burn situation where I lost a lot of hair (maybe 10%? Maybe more?) to when I started taking biotin. If it was normal regrowth, it would be, what, 9 inches long by now, but it’s clear it started after I started taking biotin (which is also supposed to be good for nails, skin, and energy). It can’t hurt, though I’m not 100% sure it can regrow hair from a hormonal/endocrine/skin condition… but once that gets treated, it should.

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  • avatar

    carolann January 9, 2017, 8:21 pm

    A lot of the people who have hyperthyroidism take the iodine to help get off the meds or at least take less. Many people with Hashimoto’s take it too.

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    • avatar

      carolann January 9, 2017, 10:19 pm

      @Kate I want to try biotin too, they have a biotin /MSM combo supplement people trying to grow their hair rave about.

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      • avatar

        Kate January 10, 2017, 6:49 am

        I started taking a biotin quick-dissolve every day back in May. I had lost some noticeable percentage of my hair 6 months prior to that due to it getting badly burned in a blowout gone wrong at a salon that wasn’t my regular and not Drybar. So my hair was thinner than usual. Now I have all this new growth that’s about 4 inches long and is definitely the biotin. When my hair is being blow dried, my hairdresser is like, WOW, look at all this growth (she can see it when lifting up a section). My hair feels thicker too. BUT, I don’t have an endocrine condition, it was just environmental.

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  • avatar

    carolann January 10, 2017, 9:38 am

    @Wendy if you have your doc / endocrinologist test your iodine levels ask him/her to do a blood test specifically looking for it or a “load” test (takes 24 hours). I heard that the urine tests aren’t very accurate. The “patch” or painting test isn’t as accurate as the blood or load test either, but it is easy to do at home and then you can get one of the other tests if it shows an deficiency.
    I have read stories of people who have come close to having thyroid surgery (partial removal) that were able to avoid it by supplementing. Just a suggestion.

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