Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Kids Give Good Advice About Love:

“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” — Dick, age 7
“Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.” — Lynnette, age 8
“Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!” — Ricky, age 7
“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” — Erin, age 8
“My mother says to look for a man who is kind. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll find somebody who’s kinda tall and handsome.” — Carolyn, age 8
[via Things People Said]

Proposal fail: Third of women secretly disappointed with how their partner popped the question – and a quarter want to upgrade their ring” [via Daily Mail]

“A Hundred Men Explain Why Vaginas Are Important To Them and It’s Both Awkward and Powerful” [via Huffington Post]

“The Real Reason Couples Have Sex Two New Studies Examine What Motivates Couples to Have Sex” [via Wall Street Journal]

David Sedaris wrote a poignant essay about the recent suicide of his sister in “Now We Are Five.” [via The New Yorker]

“Men Walk Slower When They’re In Love” [via Time.com]

“Map: Six Decades of the Most Popular Names for Girls, State-by-State” [via Jezebel]

“Why have young people in Japan stopped having sex?” [via The Guardian]

“In one Colombian town, women say no sex until their demands are met” [via PRI]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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40 comments… add one
  • katie

    katie October 25, 2013, 1:44 pm

    “i spent some time in a vagina back in ’92”

    bahaha

    that video was great

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    • mrmidtwenties

      mrmidtwenties October 25, 2013, 2:15 pm

      That made my day.

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  • katie

    katie October 25, 2013, 1:45 pm

    also, read the why are young japenese not having sex anymore one! i sent that in, i thought it was so weird and super interesting.

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary October 25, 2013, 1:47 pm

      I also thought it was weird and super interesting! I can’t imagine so much of a population just not being interested in sex-at all. Like what causes that?

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      • katie

        katie October 25, 2013, 1:54 pm

        my first thought was that japan is ahead of us in technology (which is true, i think?) so they are farther along in the device is my best friend thing, and this is just a byproduct of all that reduced human interaction stuff?

        also, the article said a little, in japan having a kid isnt a good thing, its not an objectively good life path to follow. if you dont foster an environment to keep up a birthrate, your going to have issues. thats on japan.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle October 25, 2013, 2:15 pm

        Yeah, and I also think (stereotyping, maybe) that Japan is farther ahead of us with… other… sexual outlets? So people don’t need to actually HAVE SEX in order to satisfy their sex urges?

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      • katie

        katie October 25, 2013, 2:17 pm

        ive read thats *mostly* like an urban legend…. but, yea, maybe it ties into it?

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson October 25, 2013, 2:53 pm

        Go on….

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle October 25, 2013, 3:05 pm

        haha I don’t know how to elaborate without delving even more into my maybe made-up, stereotyping ideas? But basically, I feel like Japan has more porn, more readily available sex toys, & I dunno, sex robots? (OKAY I mayyy be making the last thing up)

        I’ve read about it, like actual articles, but I don’t want to go searching for them while I’m at work… ~And~ I also have read other articles that agree with Katie, it’s mostly urban-legend-y & not at all as prevalent as we-on-this-side-of-the-world assume?

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      • Copa

        Copa October 25, 2013, 3:22 pm

        You’re not making it up about the very sexualized culture. I lived there as a tween/teen, basically until my senior year of high school, and that shit was everywhere. Like, it wasn’t uncommon for me to see random men reading some kind of porn on the train in the morning on my way to school.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson October 25, 2013, 3:29 pm

        That is so strange. Isn’t it weird then to think that they are having less sex? I know for me the more sex and sexiness I’m exposed to the more I want it – whereas if I’m not getting any I eventually just quit craving it. So you’d think if they’re surrounded by sexy times they would be sexing all over the place.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest October 25, 2013, 3:31 pm

        twins

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson October 25, 2013, 3:39 pm

        I wish I was sexing all over the place right now. Still twins?

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle October 25, 2013, 3:45 pm

        I’m that way too, but I guess if you’re ~really~ saturated in it, the effect is not the same? (if we’re going with my theory, here)

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      • Copa

        Copa October 25, 2013, 3:46 pm

        Yeah, that’s why the article surprised me. Like, really? People are satisfied with just their public cartoon-porn?

        I’m pretty sure my family lived near some sort of pervy bondage nightclub. When I’d walk by it at night going home, I always thought, “…..the FUCK is going on in there?” Lots of scantily leather-clad folks, and heavy chains hanging down over the entrance that was shaped like a black cave. I wish I could remember the name of the place, but all around it was kinda weirdly/prominently situated on this street that was just adorable, it had a lot of foreign architecture from when trade opened up between Japan and Europe, with cute restaurants & bakeries & boutiques, and home to a larger foreign population.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle October 25, 2013, 3:53 pm

        If I had to guess (& perhaps grab at stereotypes more in the process…?) I’d say the oversexualized culture, combined with Japan’s generally reserved attitude & instilled demeanor of, I dunno, dignity?* sets the stage, possibly, for a rich ~inner~ sex live? Like, it may not feel natural to turn that drive outward?

        *even if not true for EVERY person, obviously, I think it’s pervasive throughout the culture

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle October 25, 2013, 3:54 pm

        Also sorry if I’m repeating things, I actually haven’t read that article, even 😐

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  • GatorGirl

    GatorGirl October 25, 2013, 2:06 pm

    The “reasons people have sex” article was interesting. Honestly, what stuck out to me the most was tv in the bedroom is of course not going to foster sexytime, but that’s clearly my bias.

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    • avatar

      Taylor October 25, 2013, 3:30 pm

      What do people think of ipads in the bedroom? I’ve always had a no-TV rule, but when we got tablets, it didn’t occur to me it would be the same kind of distraction. We’ve recently instituted a no tablet in the bedroom policy, and I like it, even though I miss the main thing I used it for, which was kindle-ing.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl October 25, 2013, 3:41 pm

        We usually keep phones/tablets out of bed while we’re trying to fall asleep/talking about our day. Maybe twice a month GGuy will watch a 30 minute show on the iPad in bed while I’m already asleep- if he’s having a hard time falling asleep. Last Sunday morning I laid in bed and watched a beer documentary on the iPad while he read football stuff…so basically we try to keep the phones/tablets out of bed but a few times here and there is no big.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson October 25, 2013, 3:30 pm

      So GG what’s your stance on having a tv in the bedroom? Is it okay for porn purposes?

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl October 25, 2013, 3:38 pm

        That’s what iPads are for 😉

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest October 25, 2013, 3:45 pm

        How is an ipad less distracting than TV? At least its easy to watch tv together. (not snarky, seriously curious why you think that)

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl October 25, 2013, 3:48 pm

        We don’t usually use the iPad in bed. Occasionally GGuy will watch a show while I’m already asleep. If we’re going to watch something together we watch it in the living room. (And like I said below the porn question isn’t that relevant for us because it’s not a big part of our sex life. We would just prop it on the nightstand if we went that direction.)

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl October 25, 2013, 3:42 pm

        Oh, and I’m super against tv in the bedroom. I told GGuy with in a week of us dating.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl October 25, 2013, 3:46 pm

        Also, we’re not big porn people, so it’s not really an issue. Honestly, I don’t think porn has been involved since like before I moved here…so 3+ years? It’s just not our joint cup of tea.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest October 25, 2013, 3:33 pm

      I pulled the too tired card last night. I really was though! And then I pinterested for an hour. And then Peter said too tired for sex, but not too tired for pinterest, eh? So naturally, I offered to pinter-sex at the same time! Multi tasking at its best my friends. Sorry. That was gross.

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray October 25, 2013, 2:12 pm

    My mother says to look for a man who is kind. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll find somebody who’s kinda tall and handsome.” — Carolyn, age 8

    ^ This one is my favorite, hahaha ^

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle October 25, 2013, 2:17 pm

      I like that one, too. She’s like, “Someone kind, yes. Right. But really— someone tall & also handsome. That’s what I’ll actually do.”

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle October 25, 2013, 2:21 pm

        I also like the “Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.”

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      • mrmidtwenties

        mrmidtwenties October 25, 2013, 10:05 pm

        “Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.”
        that one is definitely my favourite

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  • Copa

    Copa October 25, 2013, 2:16 pm

    I was surprised my name didn’t make the map. Haha.

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  • Fabelle

    Fabelle October 25, 2013, 2:20 pm

    That walking pace thing is bullshit, based on my personal experiences. haha. But that’s because I walk SUPER fast. My natural pace is the same as my 6’2″ boyfriend’s, but I had an ex who was the slowest walker ever. And he did not speed up to catch up with me…

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary October 25, 2013, 2:35 pm

      I walk faster than my boyfriend. But I think I’ve just gotten used to city-person walking. Also, sometimes I want to get somewhere and back within my lunch hour so I need to walk pretty fast. So he’s always like “slow down!”. But then he runs super fast and I can’t run at all.

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  • avatar

    bethany October 25, 2013, 2:28 pm

    I really liked the David Sedaris essay.

    I really identified with this part: ” How could anyone purposefully leave us, us, of all people? This is how I thought of it, for though I’ve often lost faith in myself, I’ve never lost it in my family, in my certainty that we are fundamentally better than everyone else. It’s an archaic belief, one that I haven’t seriously reconsidered since my late teens, but still I hold it. Ours is the only club I’d ever wanted to be a member of, so I couldn’t imagine quitting.”

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    • avatar

      Taylor October 25, 2013, 3:36 pm

      Loved that essay. My family makes me nuts sometimes, but I always come back to the fact that even though there is craziness, it’s my craziness.

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    • TaraMonster

      TaraMonster October 27, 2013, 11:24 am

      I didn’t read it until just now, in a cafe, and I’m all choked up in public.

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  • avatar

    shanshantastic October 25, 2013, 4:03 pm

    If men in love walk slower, Brian must be DROWNING in lovey feelings. For real, you’d think a man whose legs are at least six inches longer than mine would keep up… 🙂

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  • GatorGirl

    GatorGirl October 25, 2013, 4:13 pm

    Ugh, this really rubs me the wrong way. I’m assuming I won’t be the only one to feel that way…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/10/22/married-kama-sutra-least-erotic-sex-manual_n_4141077.html?ir=Celebrity&ref=topbar

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    • avatar

      Taylor October 26, 2013, 11:27 pm

      Because there’s only one way to have a marriage, and it’s downhill from the wedding/honeymoon dontchaknow. Yuck.

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