Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

The Infantilizing Ways We Talk About Women’s Ambition

OMG: Women Arrested for Training Squirrels to Attack her Ex-Boyfriend

How do you feel about being the primary breadwinner in a relationship? Many women say they won’t date a man if he can’t be the “provider.”

Who’s been watching “Big Little Lies”? We just started last night, and so far, I’m kind of into it (I mean, as much as I can be into a show about uppity white ladies). Here’s an article arguing that its most riveting moments are the silent ones between women.

“‘He Tucked His Sweater Into His Jeans,’ and Other Petty Reasons People Stop Dating.” Do you have any petty reasons you stopped, or didn’t even start, dating someone?

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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15 comments… add one
  • avatar

    K April 7, 2017, 2:00 pm

    What a mug shot! Despite her being a former circus animal trainer, I’m actually pretty impressed that she managed to train squirrels. I wonder if anyone has ever trained squirrels before.

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      Rebecca April 7, 2017, 2:07 pm

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        K April 7, 2017, 2:12 pm

        I knew training squirrels seemed suspicious! I guess the mug shot is real though, just from a different woman, haha.

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        Rebecca April 7, 2017, 2:15 pm

        That mugshot has “I AM BATSHIT CRAZY” written all over it. It’s incredible that someone can even make that face, let alone hold it for long enough to be photographed.

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      • Moneypenny

        Moneypenny April 7, 2017, 4:51 pm

        Those eyes, and those teeth! So disturbing!

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        RedRoverRedRover April 7, 2017, 6:04 pm

        I can tell you how to hold that expression. Drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.

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    girltuesday April 7, 2017, 2:26 pm

    Big Little Lies was ah-mazing. Wendy, I thought it would be all about uppity white ladies, too, but it’s a lot more than that. I think you’ll love it.

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    anonymousse April 7, 2017, 3:51 pm

    I loved Big Little Lies. I could watch and dissect it all day.

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  • Moneypenny

    Moneypenny April 7, 2017, 4:50 pm

    I also went on a few dates with a guy who sent me selfies- even before we met. Like, he texted me when he was at Disneyland, and then sent a selfie. He also sent me one while he was at work on Halloween and one when he was home making dinner (all in the context of a text conversation, so it wasn’t *that* random…) That wasn’t the reason we stopped seeing each other- he strung me along for a bit and then told me he was dating other people- but looking back it seemed a little odd to me at the time.

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    RedRoverRedRover April 7, 2017, 6:13 pm

    That primary breadwinner one… that’s a no-brained. First of all, if you plan to have kids, who’s probably going to stay home and who’s probably going to take a career hit, even if they don’t stay home? The woman. Secondly, studies have shown that men actually do less housework when they aren’t the primary breadwinner. Who on earth wants the responsibility of supporting the family, on top of having the primary responsibility for the house and kids? No one, that’s who.

    https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/10/the-only-chore-men-will-do-is-cook/505067/

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    • Portia

      Portia April 8, 2017, 1:33 pm

      Hmm, I’m more intrigued that it looks like Americans are spending a ton more time on housework in general (and most to all falls on women). I can’t get through the firewall to the study, but the comparison between Americans and the French, for instance, looks like 5 hours to 1.5 hours a week:

      American women tend to do more housework than women in other countries—about four and a half hours each week, on average. “Meanwhile, Spanish women only spend about an hour and a half a week on housework, Brazilian women spend only 1.6 hours a week,” they write. But “French women spend almost no time on housework at all. French men, on the other hand, spend 1.2 hours a week on housework, well more than the .8 hours a week spent by American men.”

      Different baseline of cleanliness? Cheaper labor? Smaller homes?

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        RedRoverRedRover April 9, 2017, 3:50 pm

        I was thinking most likely smaller homes, plus a culture of eating out, plus washing their clothes less. Most countries don’t wash their clothes nearly as often as Americans do. That’s a big time (and money) saver.

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        Kate April 9, 2017, 3:59 pm

        I’ve gotta think larger homes, more kids, more pets, in the US. We have some huge houses in this country.

        I don’t know what’s going on with France, though. I lived in Italy for a couple years, and people’s homes were very clean and you’d always see ladies out in the early morning sweeping the stoop and sidewalk.

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        dinoceros April 9, 2017, 4:54 pm

        For families with kids, I think it’s unlikely that families outside the U.S. have the same number of toys and kids’ stuff. I know for my parent friends, a good chunk of cleaning involves picking up piles of toys. I think American children tend to have way too many toys, which end up being clutter.

        Also, in other countries, it’s more common for several generations of families to live together. Maybe it’s also that the work is spread out among multiple people? The parents might be working, but the kids may also be helping out, as well as grandparents or other family.

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    Jenny April 7, 2017, 10:09 pm

    I loved Big Little Lies too, but you should read the book! It’s pretty close to the show, but books are always better, I think.

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