Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

How Travel Leads to Stronger Romantic Relationships

The worst: “Trump’s long history of calling women ‘crazy,’ attacking their appearance”

Why Some Women in Long-Term Relationships Aren’t Interested in Marriage

A Guide to All the Lifestyle Concepts You’ll Be Forced to Know About Soon

8 Relationship Habits to Form Right Now

21 Things Your Partner Should Never Ask You to Do

Are you in a relationship (married or simply coupled up) and looking for other couples to hang out with? Coupler is a double dating app for people in a relationship. You can use it to find like-minded couple friends (to hang out, not for swinging!). Read about it and sign up to be notified when it is available here.

The Coupler team is planning to have a group of about 200 users (100 couples) try out the app. If you are interested in participating, please click this link to be taken to a form where you can sign up. Here you will find a little more information on the initial release.

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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4 comments… add one
  • avatar

    ktfran June 30, 2017, 12:44 pm

    I loved the hairpin article about the last name.

    Since I’ve been engaged, people have asked if I’m taking the fiance’s last name. The answer is no. And for some reason, I always qualify my answer with “we’re not having children so it doesn’t really matter.”

    Why do I do that? I think it’s because if we were to have children, I would want to be one cohesive family with one last name. So, like the general population, it would be his. I’m going to stop qualifying my answer.

    Of note, I will be the only female in my very heavy female family on both sides to not change my last name.

    Reply Link
    • Portia

      Portia June 30, 2017, 1:25 pm

      That article hit me hard. I didn’t change my name, and didn’t face that much opposition (I was lucky there), but I did have people ask me if I’d change it later to have the same last name as my kid (disregarding that it’s unlikely we’ll have kids). Why is that the part that seems like a bridge too far? Why did everyone single one assume that a kid would take my husband’s last name?

      Every other woman in my family changed their names. And I found out after my wedding that my mom didn’t change her last name for a few years after getting married. She only did after this asshole challenged her on not being a licensed lawyer since her married name was not on the bar list. THAT infuriated me.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      RedroverRedrover June 30, 2017, 4:03 pm

      I didn’t change my last name and I have kids. It sucks, because now I’m the only one with a different last name. But, my name is my name and I’m not interested in literally changing my identity just because I’m a married woman. So, there it is.

      I did consider asking my husband if we could use my last name for the kids. It’s pretty hard though, because I could tell he was already disappointed that I didn’t want to change my name. He’s 100% supportive, of course, and he definitely doesn’t want me to change my name when I don’t want to. But I think deep down, he’d prefer it if I wanted to. So after that disappointment, and already bucking expectations, it’s extremely difficult to go “hey, guess what, I want the kids to have my name too and you get left out as the only one without the same last name”. It’s different expectations. Men are raised expecting to keep their name and have a wife and kids with their name. Women are raised expecting to change it. That’s why it’s usually a bridge too far to give the kids their mom’s name instead of their dad’s.

      What I did do, is give both the kids my last name for a middle name. So their name on their birth certificate reads: Firstname MyLastName Husband’sLastName. I did consider asking him if we could switch it around for our second child, so she had my last name, and use his last name as her middle name. But his last name has a space in it, which is enough of a pain in the ass for a last name, let alone a first or middle name. My first name has a space in it and it’s constantly wrong on forms. I can’t even imagine if I’d changed my name – a space in my first and last names? No thanks. It would never be right on anything.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    K June 30, 2017, 3:02 pm

    Love the travel/relationships article.

    Reply Link

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