Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“The Philosophy That Will Ruin A Marriage” [via HuffPo]

“The craziest OkCupid date ever” [via Salon]

“Through Group Dating, Getting to Know You (and You and You)” [via NYTimes]

Hot guys and cats! [via Demilked]

“18 Things Everyone Should Start Making Time For Again” [via Thought Catalog]

“Other parents suck” [via Salon]

“A Year of Parenting, in Comics” [via INCIDENTAL COMICS]

“West Michigan Bride & Her Husband Re-Enact Dirty Dancing Scene At Their Wedding Reception” [via]

“16 People On Things They Couldn’t Believe About America Until They Moved Here” [via Thought Catalog]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

115 comments… add one
  • avatar

    TECH November 15, 2013, 1:27 pm

    I really liked the group dating article. Makes a lot of sense! Not only is it less awkward to meet a group of people, but you meet more people in one night, increasing your chance of meeting someone. It’s all a numbers game. I think it’s a great concept.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      ktfran November 15, 2013, 2:49 pm

      Back when the Kid and I were just friends, he went on some kind of group date with his roommate. I’m guessing it was through Grouper. It’s funny, because we were out the following night and he said he had a rough night. When I asked why, he soooo didn’t want to tell me about the group date. We liked, liked one other then. But both thought we were friend zoned.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 2:54 pm

        Sorry for stalking, but your whole Kid thing is adorable. “like liked each other” So cute.

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      • avatar

        ktfran November 15, 2013, 3:08 pm

        It might be barf worthy . . .

        And he got a hold of me yesterday. Saying he was still getting settled, but he signed a lease. Yes, I have been freaking out for no apparent reason. I’m not sure why I question my instincts so much, when I know he really cares. I guess it’s just a coping thing for me.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 3:09 pm

        If you aren’t stressing about things, who else will?
        My dad says that’s how I live my life. haha. Try to remind yourself that you know he cares 🙂

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      • avatar

        ktfran November 15, 2013, 3:43 pm

        I like the way you think!

        I’m a total stresser outer.

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 1:33 pm

    re marriage article. What do you guys think of the idea that you give 100% to your partner and hope they give the same back?

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      bethany November 15, 2013, 1:37 pm

      TBH, I”m not really sure what “giving 100% of yourself” means. And I’m not being snarky.
      Like what does that specifically mean?

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 1:41 pm

        Yea, we had this discussion a couple weeks ago, right? Because of that, I specifically didn’t write “of yourself.” I guess I mean just doing what’s in your power, reasonably, to make your partner happy, healthy, whatever. Just whatever you reasonably do for your partner’s well being, nothing like I give my entire life to you for you to control or anything out there.

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      • avatar

        bethany November 15, 2013, 1:46 pm

        Hmm… Well, I often try to make my husband happy. I do little things like not putting on sweatpants the minute I get home from work, or buying him something at the grocery store that he likes, or watching TV shows about cars with him. But, I still do stuff like refuse to turn on the AC when it’s really hot out (because I love the heat), or claim the nicer looking steak as mine. Does that stuff make me a bad wife? I dunno.

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      • rawkmys0cks

        rawkmys0cks November 15, 2013, 3:19 pm

        I also take the nicer looking steak. But I figure if I cooked it and am serving it, then I get to pick the nice pieces 😛

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      • katie

        katie November 15, 2013, 3:21 pm

        jake always gives me the better looking or better cooked portions.

        its a special kind of love, really.

        (all sarcasm aside, its one of those things that i feel he loves me when he does it. its very sweet)

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle November 15, 2013, 3:44 pm

        Yeah, the other day I accidentally flicked a piece of tofu into my water while I was eating, & I couldn’t get it out because it was too slippery, so I made my boyfriend do it (& then was like, “also, can you now drink my water because I am grossed out by it”, & he did, & I felt loved. haha)

        It’s like.. not similar, but those silly things do make you feel loved, yeah!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 3:47 pm

        THIS! This is a perfect example of what I was trying to get at. Like, I’d rather you enjoy the perfect steak, than take it for myself. It is very sweet.

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      • avatar

        bethany November 15, 2013, 3:57 pm

        Well now you’re making me feel bad, but Dave knows nothing gets between Bethany and her steak 🙂

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 4:01 pm

        You should note I wrote it as an example, not something I’d personally put into practice. I’m selfish. haha. Get your own steak!

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      • rawkmys0cks

        rawkmys0cks November 15, 2013, 4:13 pm

        Awww, that is really sweet, haha. I just know Jeff would never notice even if I did give him the nice pieces.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson November 15, 2013, 1:41 pm

        Yeah I think it’s dumb. For me to be “the best partner I can be” I specifically can’t give 100% of myself away. I have to do things solely for me that make ME happy. Only then am I a great partner. Because if I’m doing everything for someone else (hellowwww martyr) I’m grumpy as shit.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 1:43 pm

        Maybe this – I will try to make you happy every day, and hope you make me happy in return. What do you think of approaching relationships that way?

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      • something random

        Something Random November 15, 2013, 1:49 pm

        If you don’t mind me butting in… I think that is a sweet thought but it is far more powerful to think ” I will try to be happy every day, and hope I can support you in doing the same”.

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      • something random

        Something Random November 15, 2013, 1:50 pm

        What do you think, Sampson? Is it weird that I’ve read enough of your comments that I feel I can ask that? (I’m trying not to sound creepy)

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson November 15, 2013, 2:00 pm

        Haha why would that be creepy? And yeah I think that’s the goal. I just see too many (dumb) people think it’s romantic that they’re giving everything to make someone else happy. Normally they do that to people that are specifically not going the same in return. But they feel better about themselves because they’re “giving it their all” while I’m silently judging them.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 1:53 pm

        Oh I like that better! (and butt in more often!)

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      • katie

        katie November 15, 2013, 2:05 pm

        yep, this is more of what i would go for too.

        like, im not exactly sure how to explain this, but… my partner shouldnt really need to do anything extra to keep me happy, right? first, my happiness is not their responsibility, and second, i should be happy just being with them, you know? and they should be happy with me just being me. and then if we do the long term thing, our two happiness-es are just more intertwined, but it doesnt mean that all of a sudden the become *dependent* on one another.

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    • GatorGirl

      GatorGirl November 15, 2013, 2:00 pm

      I like this part “Marriage is for… the marriage. Marrying is deciding that the two of you, together, are more important than either of you alone. ” and is basically what we discussed being our mindset would be in our marraige.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      lemongrass November 15, 2013, 2:19 pm

      I think it is better to try and find a balance where you are both happy, satisfied and have healthy interactions. It shouldn’t be tit-for-tat. Sometimes I give more to my marriage and sometimes Mr. Grass does but we balance each other out.

      Reply Link
    • rawkmys0cks

      rawkmys0cks November 15, 2013, 3:20 pm

      I think it needs to be a balance of asking for what you need from them, and giving them what they ask of you…so what you end up giving really depends upon the people and how much you each ask of each other. It’s like, knowing yourself and what you need, and them knowing themselves and what they need, and being able to communicate that back and forth is what is the most important thing. Not giving 100% or whatever.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    bethany November 15, 2013, 1:38 pm

    Props to whoever sent in Hot Guys and Cats. Those guys were really hot. And the cats were really cute.

    Reply Link
    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow November 15, 2013, 2:25 pm

      It was me! 🙂

      Reply Link
    • Fabelle

      Fabelle November 15, 2013, 2:28 pm

      Yeah, they really REALLY are. I feel dirty scrolling through this at work, haha

      Reply Link
      • Fabelle

        Fabelle November 15, 2013, 2:53 pm

        That one dude who is all wet, my gahhhd. Not even my type (too clean-cut, from what I can tell) but I just want there to be, like, a slip-and-slide that goes directly under him so I can slide down it in a straddle position.

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      • avatar

        bethany November 15, 2013, 3:12 pm

        That was brilliant! #13?
        I think #20 was my favorite guy. Yum.

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      • avatar

        bethany November 15, 2013, 3:13 pm

        And I think #22 was my favorite cat. I want to scratch his kitty armpits!

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle November 15, 2013, 3:21 pm

        I liked the two black kitties walking side-by-side!

        And YES, #13, haha. HIS POSE. And #20 is the hottest, I think you’re right. I’d prefer a bit more hair on his chest, though (I’m into that)

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      • avatar

        iseeshiny November 15, 2013, 3:44 pm

        I also liked the suited guys/black cats! They made me think of Mordecai from this comic: http://www.lackadaisycats.com/exhibit.php?exhibitid=215

        The artist did some portraits of what he would look like human:
        http://www.lackadaisycats.com/exhibit.php?exhibitid=373

        I realize they are cat people, but I promise it’s not fetish-y.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle November 15, 2013, 3:56 pm

        Ooh, I love this!

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    • othy

      othy November 15, 2013, 3:41 pm

      Is it just me, or does Robert Downey Jr keep getting hotter with age?

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 1:42 pm

    Loved the 18 things. I’m going to try to do some this weekend I hope. I’ve been saying I’m going to take Lil on a train ride since, well, forever.

    Reply Link
    • GatorGirl

      GatorGirl November 15, 2013, 2:03 pm

      I loved them too. I want to print it out and put it on the fridge or something. I”m going to try to incorporate them into my life.

      Reply Link
    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson November 15, 2013, 2:04 pm

      I know I’m such a sucker for cheesy lists like that about serenity and blah blah blah. I love it when I read them and I already do some of them. I feel a lot better than everyone else. It’s like winning. No one knows we’re competing, but I’m winning, so there’s that.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 2:06 pm

        Haha, I felt the same way!

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      • avatar

        Banana November 15, 2013, 2:23 pm

        Ditto. Hah!

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    • avatar

      ktfran November 15, 2013, 3:10 pm

      Me too! Actually, I haven’t read them all yet, but the first handful, I already do!!!! Like, sending thank you cards and notes. Getting dressed up. I usually dress nicer than I need to, just because I like to. Cooking a nice meal. Reading books. Relishing the time I can just be alone and do nothing.

      I love this list!

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        ktfran November 15, 2013, 3:12 pm

        Buying fresh flowers! Traveling by train!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 3:15 pm

        Get them when you go grocery shopping! I’ve gotten into the habit of doing that (fine, I tell my bf to get them when he does the shopping) and then split them (like a $10 bouquet) into a bunch of little vases. Such a cheap way to have fresh flowers in all your rooms.

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      • rawkmys0cks

        rawkmys0cks November 15, 2013, 3:22 pm

        I am stealing this idea!!

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      • avatar

        ktfran November 15, 2013, 3:41 pm

        I love that!

        I like to buy flowers at Trader Joe’s. I can get a couple different bouquets for less than $10 then mix and match.

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      • avatar

        bethany November 15, 2013, 3:25 pm

        Whoever wrote that obviously does not commute by train. Trainless days are amazing!

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  • something random

    something Random November 15, 2013, 1:42 pm

    I think life is multi-faceted enough that I’m not sure what giving 100% even means. I don’t think the original marriage article would be bad if the writer had included the word “just”.

    Examples:
    Marriage isn’t “just” about you.
    You don’t marry “just” to make yourself happy.

    Reply Link
  • iwannatalktosampson

    iwannatalktosampson November 15, 2013, 1:50 pm

    I liked the article about things other countries were shocked about. A lot of them mentioned obesity. I wonder what other countries are doing that we’re all doing wrong. I know even when I gain 10 pounds it’s harder for me to run and move around.

    Reply Link
    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson November 15, 2013, 1:58 pm

      Oh and water bottles. Apparently it’s weird that as soon as we sit down at a restaurant we get water? I have a 1.5 liter bottle of water with me at my desk right now, and I probably go through an average of 2.5 of those a day – just at work. I’m really hydrated.

      Reply Link
      • katie

        katie November 15, 2013, 2:07 pm

        the guy i had to hide today that posts crazy shit on facebook posted an article called “do you drink too much water?” and it scared me! i also drink soooo much water

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 2:09 pm

        Did you know you can drown yourself? Crazy! Apparently it happens to runners.

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      • katie

        katie November 15, 2013, 2:11 pm

        i know that, but that is a very specific thing. this was just like general drinking too much which is making you generally sick-ish/not feeling as great as you could

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 2:12 pm

        Wow, I didn’t know that. Now I’m afraid I drink too much too!

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl November 15, 2013, 2:10 pm

        Can you drink too much water? That’s a thing? I drink normally 6 to 10 16 oz bottles of water a day. So 96 to 160 ounces per day. Is that a lot?

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      • katie

        katie November 15, 2013, 2:13 pm

        i dont knoooowwwww!!!!

        i mean this is the same guy who posts shit about vaccines being a gov’t conspiracy, “quantum physics proves there is an afterlife”, the dollar being a ponzi scheme….. so im trying not to give it any weight.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle November 15, 2013, 2:23 pm

        You can, but it has to be A LOT, like in one sitting, & you’d be able to tell (i.e. would start getting dizzy, etc.)

        It’s really hard to do, though, so I wouldn’t worry!

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      • avatar

        EricaSwagger November 15, 2013, 3:53 pm

        You’re “supposed” to drink “about” half your weight in ounces.
        So if you weigh 120 lbs, try for 60 ounces a day, which is about 2 Nalgene bottles. And obviously that’s not exact, but it’s a great way to estimate it. I try to drink 2-3 a day.
        It’s like REALLY hard to drown yourself drinking water. Unless you breathe it instead of swallowing lol.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl November 15, 2013, 4:04 pm

        Yikes…I drink way closer to my weight’s equivalent of ounces. hmmm.

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      • avatar

        d2 November 16, 2013, 8:55 am

        Yes, water poisoning is possible and can be fatal. But usually that occurs when large amounts of water are consumed in a short period of time.

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    • Classic

      Classic November 15, 2013, 2:04 pm

      I liked this article, too. Very interesting.

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    • avatar

      bethany November 15, 2013, 2:13 pm

      I think in a lot of other countries the portion sizes are smaller, and people move more. Especially in Europe, stuff is so close together that people are able to walk around way more than they can in the Suburban US.

      Reply Link
      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson November 15, 2013, 2:30 pm

        Yeah I thought that part was really interesting. I don’t know how to talk about this topic very well without being insulting, but I think it kind of semi disproves many people’s theories that it’s our food making americans fat and not just that we eat too much and move too little. I’ve read a lot of articles on fat acceptance blogs about how we have different steroids in our food (true) and other reasons that essentially make us destined to be fat. Which some of that might be true, but I think a lot of it is just a lack of willpower too.

        Speaking of lack of willpower I just had a salad for lunch (delicious and healthy) but then a bag of chips. If I had eaten slower I probably would have been full after the salad.

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      • avatar

        Christy November 15, 2013, 2:44 pm

        This is a sensitive issue for me, so I might duck back out, fair warning.

        But I don’t think it’s about willpower or steroids in food. I think that (1) processed food is cheaper and made to be addicting and (2) people have really fucked up ideas about food. Like, eating healthy takes more time, effort, and money. And it’s really hard to overcome fucked up food/exercise ideas. Take people with genuine eating disorders – that’s not a matter of willpower. And sometimes people were just raised with unhealthy habits.

        Sometimes there’s an element of willpower, but most of the time, there’s a lot else going on.

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      • katie

        katie November 15, 2013, 3:02 pm

        yea its kind of like economics- the food that is plentiful, “yummy”, cheap, ect, is bad for you. obviously that means that most people will be eating the “bad” food. “healthy” food is harder to find (depending, but definitely happens), harder to prepare, less “yummy”, and costs more money AND time. obviously less people will pick the “good” option .

        and i put “bad” and “yummy” and “good” in quotes because its subjective. objectively a hamburger isnt bad for you, but if you only eat processed hamburgers for dinner, thats bad for you. its all relative and depends and bla bla bla.

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      • avatar

        Christy November 15, 2013, 3:34 pm

        Oh, and I think that fat-acceptance blogs are part really good (because there’s so much criticism of fat people, even if it’s inadvertent) for giving a safe, body-positive space to “fat” people.

        But they’re also part really bad, because they can downplay the health risks of obesity, which are serious.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson November 15, 2013, 3:43 pm

        Oh yeah don’t get me wrong I’m definitely not hate reading them. I love reading articles like that (I’m thinking of Lesley on xojane – who I lurve!!) because it makes me so so sad that ANYONE would hate their bodies. I can get really down on myself for certain flaws, and I even hate that I do it to myself, let alone how cruel people can be to one another.

        And it’s not like I’m a part of the solution, I’m probably either neutral or part of the problem. I do weird shit like run 14 miles in a day and then eat a burrito. I swear my love of exercise and vegetables is what keeps me normal ish (although I am technically over weight). I guess I’m just lucky that I don’t have to try very hard at all to have healthy habits. I binge water, I like to work out and get my sweat on, I really enjoy vegetables, and I don’t really like sweet food, and could really take or leave all carbs. But any bad habit I have, like massive quantities of salt, I have no will power to cut back. So I get it. I just think sometimes this country doesn’t care enough about making healthier choices. I really truly think we should go back to a society where there isn’t one big downtown, but many neighborhoods that are self sufficient – places to work – grocery stores, movie theaters, parks, etc. Or if we stay the way we are we HAVE to make public transportation a thing.

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      • Miel

        Miel November 15, 2013, 2:45 pm

        But you see Iwanna, that sort of mentality “salad is good but then the bag of chips is wrong” is also very american. People going to the gym as sign of being healthy, and people eating salad to be healthy… that’s very (north)american. Because a big portion of the population has health problems and weight problems, the other portion of the population do diets and gym membership.

        In all my time in europe, I never saw someone eating a bowl of lettuce and say that it was a meal. People just eat normal, whole food, and they bike to work, and there’s no dieting, no gym membership, and people just don’t think that much about the calories they eat or the calories they burn.

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      • avatar

        Ammie November 17, 2013, 12:13 pm

        I generally have a hard time imagining that living in another region of the world confers greater willpower. Bethany mentioned a structural rationale (the ease of walking place to place), which sounds a more likely to me… I know I get skinny on vacations where I’m walking around being touristy, regardless of what I eat, and I had a group of friends study abroad in Italy for a semester in college and come back skinny as rails. They said they’d eaten and drank a ton, it’s just that they had to walk a few miles to get to class each day.

        Yeah, yeah, I know, anecdata, but it makes sense to me.

        Anyway, my very favorite memory about Europeans vs Americans will always be my English friend lecturing me at happy hour about how we Americans are so fat because we eat corn syrup. I was, at the time, a very lean distance runner who ate candy and carbs like they were going out of style, and she was plump and sedentary. Like… I didn’t even know what to say. Because it’s not like I had ever even thought about her body type before that, but she’s going off about how fat we are, and how if we just lived more like they do in her country, we’d be better off, and I’m like, uh, okay, but I don’t actually think there’s anything wrong with my body… sigh. That’s why these discussions always get kind of tricky for me. I’m waiting to see how this gut microbiome link plays out. 🙂

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      • Copa

        Copa November 15, 2013, 3:06 pm

        So, when my family lived overseas and we’d go out to eat (this was when I was in middle & high school), we’d legit order like 2-3x as much food as all the local folks to get our normal, American portion sizes. Looking back… that’s embarrassing to me.

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle November 15, 2013, 2:22 pm

      I thought this was super interesting, too. And it was nice to hear some of the nice things— like that apparently our customer service people are nice (nice, nice, nice, sorry, too many “nice”s in a sentence!)

      And oh, the GPS thing drives me CRAZY. We really do rely on it too much; it’s sad. I have a smart phone, so I’ve started using it recently, but I always try to use it as an AID, instead of blindly following it, & I make sure I’m learning the way as I’m being guided. Like, it’s good to use your brain for mapping shit!

      I read this thing once that our brains are different than they were years ago, or something, because of how all of our information is just on a screen? Instead of needing to sort—like, you learn by sorting, & having things in different places, if that makes sense—it’s just all RIGHT there, in this 4″-20” space, & it makes you dumber.

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      • avatar

        bethany November 15, 2013, 2:56 pm

        The GPS thing makes me SO MAD. People need to learn where the fuck they’re going. I can understand using it to get to someone’s house for the first time or something, but people need to learn their way around!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 3:02 pm

        Did you ever the Office episode where they follow it into a lake? That would totally happen to me. I have zero sense of direction. My gf got so sick of me calling her to talk me through directions that she got me a gps. Quit hatin’ bethany!

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      • avatar

        bethany November 15, 2013, 3:06 pm

        The GPS thing is something I feel VERY passionately about. I’m a huge fan of maps, so I will use my Map app on my phone, but I NEVER rely on it for directions. Even if I use google maps to get a route, I always look at it and figure out if it makes sense for me, and familiarize myself with it, so I’m not just blindly following directions, not knowing where I’m going.

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      • Lady_Red

        Red_Lady November 15, 2013, 10:58 pm

        Haha, my grandparents got one of the first cars to have a built-in GPS, and it always said we were in a lake, or the ocean. Not very accurate.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle November 15, 2013, 3:02 pm

        Yeah dude, it makes people drive TERRIBLY too, because they’re looking at the fucking thing & not anticipating the turn/lane changes whatever until it tells them too. It’s infuriating.

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 1:52 pm

    Did Wendy post about Batkid? I think she did. Its today. Here’s the live feed. Makes me want to cry!

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  • avatar

    KMJ November 15, 2013, 2:01 pm

    As far as the OK Cupid travel date, all I could think was how bad my feet would hurt wearing flat sandals that whole time.

    Reply Link
  • TaraMonster

    TaraMonster November 15, 2013, 2:36 pm

    The only thing I had time to look at today was the Hot Guys and Cats Link.

    Soooo worth it. Now back to chipping away at these deadlines…

    Reply Link
  • GatorGirl

    GatorGirl November 15, 2013, 2:52 pm

    I find it super intersting that the size of houses was mentioned so many times in the other countries article. I personally think the size of most homes that I’ve seen are grossly oversized for the number of people living there.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 2:54 pm

      I just got that from my grandma. And we’re not in a mini mansion. Weird.

      Reply Link
    • mandalee

      mandalee November 15, 2013, 2:57 pm

      Yes to this! I nanny in a very affluent neighborhood where the average family has 4-5 people and the average house has 6-7 bedrooms, three living rooms, a great room, a play room, a three season room, etc. I mean, no wonder everyone in this neighborhood has an arsenal of maids. Who the hell has the time and interest to clean what is essentially a small-sized hotel?

      My husband and I are looking at houses now and I am definitely drawn to small-ish size houses because when I think about heating costs, cleaning, etc anything with too much square feet makes me tired.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 3:00 pm

        People that have housekeepers!

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      • mandalee

        mandalee November 15, 2013, 3:48 pm

        haha I am not against housekeepers at all even if I may have implied that in my post! If it was in my budget, I’d do it too. But there is no such thing as a maid or two here. Each house has sometimes 3-4 people getting out to clean these places because it would take one person two days to do it. That is a bit much for me.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 3:52 pm

        Oh I didn’t think you sounded against them. Just saying that people who live in houses like that generally don’t have to do any of the work associated with maintaining such a huge house. Which, hey, good for them I guess? But for avg people, its so much easier to get a manageable sized house, or at least a house where you will actually USE all the rooms in it. I just moved and had a big ass living room that I think I sat in 5 times tops. I’ll never have a formal living room again. Such a waste.

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      • Copa

        Copa November 15, 2013, 3:02 pm

        My parents live in this kind of neighborhood. It’s ridiculous. (But, admittedly, the homes are very beautiful from the outside.) I’m nowhere near ready to be a homeowner, buttt I wouldn’t want a huge house like that even if I could afford it. For all the reasons you listed + I remember watching an episode of Dr. 90210 in which his gaunt wife was lamenting that she did not know how to furnish THAT many rooms (which would honestly be one of my thoughts, even if I could afford All The Furniture). What’s the purpose of having, like, 4 living rooms?

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    • avatar

      bethany November 15, 2013, 2:57 pm

      Yeah, I’m with you. I can’t imagine having a larger house than I do now (and it’s only like 1400 sq feet). It just seems soooo unnecessary! Plus you have to pay to heat and cool it!

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl November 15, 2013, 3:23 pm

        We have 750 SQFT now, and honeslty I’d only like to be at 1000 or 1200 when we upgrade. More space=more cleaning!!

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      • othy

        othy November 15, 2013, 3:38 pm

        I’m in a 900 sqft house, and I’d love one more bathroom, one more living area (for games/friends/lounging), and a 2 car garage (instead of my 1 car garage). Then I’d be happy.

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    • katie

      katie November 15, 2013, 3:03 pm

      hasnt that trend kind of stopped though? i feel like i read that somewhere…. because of the recession. but i mean that doesnt stop all the mansions that already exist from existing.

      i never want a huge house. id like to have a nice kitchen, a guest room, and an area to do my scrapbooking (so potentially 3 bedrooms only) and thats fine with me!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest November 15, 2013, 3:06 pm

        There’s a development by me that’s probably 10-12 years old now. All mcmansions. I’d guess 90% are in foreclosure.

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      • katie

        katie November 15, 2013, 3:17 pm

        oh! when i first came here to interview for this job, there was an old, sad looking sign advertising for a new housing development. it even had like the little flags on it, and they were all torn and faded. it said “coming soon! summer of 2010!”

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      • avatar

        bethany November 15, 2013, 3:07 pm

        Aside from the reasons already stated above, I never wanted a big house because it freaks me out thinking that there could be other people in there, but it’s so big you’d have no idea.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl November 15, 2013, 3:37 pm

        Am I the only one who checks every closet when I come home to an empty house? Is that nuts?

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      • mandalee

        mandalee November 15, 2013, 4:03 pm

        No, I totally do it too! I used to think it was some weird, unique habit, but when I went to a party once there was 5 of us that admitted to doing it, so that made me feel better.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl November 15, 2013, 3:25 pm

        My family is in the Main Line outside of Philly and the grossly oversized house trend is VERY much alive and well here. I work in specialty construction and we routinely work on 5000 sqft houses.

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      • katie

        katie November 15, 2013, 3:30 pm

        wow. well so much for that. haha

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      • mandalee

        mandalee November 15, 2013, 3:49 pm

        The trend may have stopped some places but in this neighborhood and general area, people are actually buying normal sized houses and tearing them down to replace them with houses that are 3x bigger.

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    • mylaray

      mylaray November 15, 2013, 3:07 pm

      Yes to this. I know it can be a personal preference and I have nothing against houses but why do so many people not only need a huge home, but also a huge yard? It seems unnecessary and wasteful to me for everyone to have all that space.

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyland November 15, 2013, 3:12 pm

        For your cow, of course.

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      • mylaray

        mylaray November 15, 2013, 3:17 pm

        Hahaha, of course, who wouldn’t want a cow.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle November 15, 2013, 3:15 pm

        I agree, but I’m biased because I grew up in a house with a pretty big yard (for the neighborhood), & the space is TOTALLY wasted? It’s big enough for a pool! But instead we have 3 sheds, which isn’t even legal, & one isn’t even a shed, but a carport that my dad puts his things in, ha

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      • avatar

        bethany November 15, 2013, 3:16 pm

        I can totally get behind a huge yard. I wish my yard was bigger! Especially if you have a dog or kids, a yard is key. Then you can have a garden and a nice deck and enjoy being outside! Big Yard/Small house is the best combo there is, IMO.

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      • something random

        something Random November 15, 2013, 3:21 pm

        With two crazy high-energy boys my back yard is a life-saver! I pad their little asses up and take them out there even when its snowing. I can only take the noise and the running and the crashing so long before it’s time to go out and play.

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      • mylaray

        mylaray November 15, 2013, 3:24 pm

        I should say I’ve also never lived in a place with a yard. I get why people want yards, though I know I would hate having something more to take care of, but it still seems wasteful if you’re not using it for something. I know too many people who like having a lush green yard that you’re not even allowed to walk on.

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl November 15, 2013, 3:33 pm

        I want a big yard SO bad. It’s definitely on my dream list to have an acre of land (or more).

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      • avatar

        d2 November 16, 2013, 8:44 am

        I grew up in a rural farming area where houses were built amongst fields and woodlands. So now it bugs me to look out my window to see neighbors’ yards and houses. My sister still lives in that rural area. She bought a 30-acre plot of land because she didn’t want neighbors too close. She also has a couple of horses and cows that roam the fenced-in pasture part. (See, Alice is right!)

        So I get the big property thing, but I don’t get the big landscaped yard thing. I hate yard work – mowing, trimming shrubberies, pulling weeds, etc.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson November 15, 2013, 3:36 pm

      Yes! My friend and I were joking one time that we have like the anti-american dream to never own a house more than 3 bedrooms. This is especially funny coming from her because she is (the hardest working, driven, smartest) a total trust fund baby that could already afford a multi million dollar house. Although I would love a big yard. Sampson and Goliath need room to frolick. The problem is that most 3 bedroom nice houses (don’t get me wrong, I might want it to be small but I want it to be new and nice inside) are in trendy areas that are close to downtown and therefore have essentially no yards. Annoying.

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      • katie

        katie November 15, 2013, 3:39 pm

        yea i always feel like ill never get what i actually want. really in anything, i guess? like, there is no car that i could find that had 100% of what i wanted. and with a house- i will never get the land that jake wants with the size of house that we want, with the kitchen we want, bla bla bla.

        life suckkkkksss, amiright? haha

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  • avatar

    AliceInDairyland November 15, 2013, 3:06 pm

    Okay, that OkCupid article was kind of stupid. Not because the idea was stupid, I actually think it’s pretty cool. It was just so incredibly superficial but punctuated with loads of words like “profound” and “absolutely incredible” without any concrete examples of that or how anyone actually felt. I know you only have so many words in an article but it felt like I was looking at them through a hipster telescope. I was completely disconnected from them, and all their pictures they are standing apart with neutral expressions and it was just weird.

    What was it like to travel with a stranger you met on the internet? What sort of things did you learn from people? What disagreements did you have on the way? I dunno… I wanted so much more in that word count.

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    • avatar

      rachel November 15, 2013, 3:09 pm

      Yeah, I had the same problems with it. I couldn’t get through it all.

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    • mylaray

      mylaray November 15, 2013, 3:14 pm

      I feel like she did it for the story to write about, but she didn’t even write a good story. I’m tired of all these things being done for stories or book deals.

      But I was genuinely interested in those other details.

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  • Cassie

    CassieB November 16, 2013, 5:55 pm

    One correction: The bride and groom that did the Dirty Dancing wedding dance are from Minnesota, not Michigan.

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray November 17, 2013, 1:34 pm

    I really enjoyed the last link where people listed things they couldn’t believe about America. It’s really interesting and eye-opening to read outsiders’ perspectives.

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