Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Dudes on OKCupid. Yikes. [via YouTube]

“My Parents Chose My Husband: Seventeen years later, I’m still married to him, still grieving, and still trying to figure out why I stay.” [via Slate]

“How Often Do You Meet ‘The Love Of Your Life’? A new survey reveals that, statistically, you’ll probably fall head-over-heels this many times.” [via Nerve]

“What French Women Can Teach Us About Sex And Love” [via HuffPo]

“Women Are ‘Leaning In’—and Not Getting Paid for It” [via The Atlantic]

“A Feminist Takedown of Robin Thicke, And Anyone Who Thinks There’s Something “Blurry” About Sexism” [via PolicyMic]

“Poll: Women Say They Are Leaning In” [via The Daily Beast]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

67 comments… add one
  • katie

    katie August 23, 2013, 1:37 pm

    i feel so bad for people in arranged marriages. and its not like i even dont believe in a marriage like the one she explains, where they are just partners and run a household together. i can get behind that, but neither of them had any choice in the matter either way.

    and anyway, when arranged marriages happened all the time, monogamy was kind of sort of not expected? so i hope that they dont practice monogamy.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    bethany August 23, 2013, 1:48 pm

    Re: “the Love of your life”– For me, what they said was true. I had 2 great loves, had my heart really broken once, and thought I was in love before, but looking back, really wasn’t.

    However, what’s true for me isn’t true for everyone.

    Anyone else want to share their stats? How many great loves, and how many real heartbreaks?

    Reply Link
    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson August 23, 2013, 1:52 pm

      I thought it was interesting too but I’m really cynical so to me how do you know who the “great loves of your life are” until you die. Because everything is all good and hunky doory but what if you and Mr. Bethany break up? And then you fall in love again? And that point you’ll say you had 3 loves of your life. So really it’s hard to know how many loves you’ll have until you’re dead. And then at that point you’ll have better things going on than wondering how many loves you had.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      lemongrass August 23, 2013, 1:57 pm

      My husband is my only great love. I firmly do not believe in soul mates though. If I die first I want my husband to fall in love again- and that would not mean that I was any less of a great love or that love would be any less than ours.

      Reply Link
      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 23, 2013, 1:59 pm

        I think the term you’re looking for is special love. He’s your special love.

        Link
      • avatar

        bethany August 23, 2013, 2:07 pm

        I dont’ believe in soul mates either. And I also want my husband to move on if I die first. But he knows he needs to mourn me for a long time first, or else I’ll haunt the shit out of him.

        Link
      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 23, 2013, 2:31 pm

        Haha I always feel the same. I would certainly want my husband/so to go on to lead a happy love filled life – but they better cry for an appropriate amount of years first, and still think of joining me on their death bed.

        Link
    • avatar

      MissDre August 23, 2013, 2:32 pm

      Bethany, my stats are exactly the same as yours. But that’s just so far. I’m only 27. And I’m currently with my second love.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      TECH August 23, 2013, 2:47 pm

      I would like to think every person has the potential to fall in love an unlimited amount of times in their lives. Being open to the opportunity and finding yourself in a good set of circumstances is what it’s all about.
      I hate thinking about numbers because then you start thinking, “Oh, I’ve already had too many loves” and that’s a sad place to be.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      ktfran August 23, 2013, 2:58 pm

      I’ve had three loves thus far. The first was innocent and sweet and we were learning what it meant to love someone. The second was my ex-fiance. I honestly loved him, but it wasn’t right. The third was friendship and great sex. I loved all three differently. I don’t think any of us have any ill will towards one another. I think it says a lot that I was able to build intimate relationships with people, recognize that person was in my life at that period of time for a reason and that it was time to move forward and gracefully end the relationship when it was no longer working for us. The last thing I ever want is to love someone and have it end horribly. I can’t imagine hating someone I share so much with.

      What do I want when I finally meet the person I spend my life with? A good mixture of all three.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        kerrycontrary August 23, 2013, 3:05 pm

        “I can’t imagine hating someone I share so much with. “–Yup, and that’s why heartbreak is fucking horrible. Just the worst. You used to love someone, and then you get to the point where you think “I wish I never met them” and it’s like how did we get here?

        Link
      • avatar

        ktfran August 23, 2013, 3:27 pm

        I guess I’m lucky I haven’t experienced that yet. I hope I never have to. But I guess I can see how my response to some LW’s are shaped differently than others who have experienced heartbreak.

        Link
    • avatar

      kerrycontrary August 23, 2013, 3:00 pm

      2 great loves (but I’m only 26), 1 great heartbreak (with a ton of little ones). I’m totally average. But I realize that I could get divorced, or my spouse could die, or whatever and I could fall in love again at 40 or 60 or 78. I also think that a lot of people could end up being married to someone that isn’t the love of their life (as they see) for a myriad of reasons.

      Reply Link
    • raptor

      gillociraptor August 23, 2013, 3:15 pm

      I think I’ve really only had one great love, and that’s my husband. I was engaged before, but we were more like friends than romantic partners. It was more comfortable than chemical. Then I dated a guy after my ex-fiance who was all chemistry and no comfort. My husband is both, and it’s fantastic.

      Every guy I’ve dated has told me I’m the one, and it’s weirded me out every time.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        ktfran August 23, 2013, 3:31 pm

        So with the “friend” and the “chemistry partner,” why wouldn’t you count those as loves of your life? I basically had the same type of relationships and I would count those as people I truly, undeniably loved. I don’t think that precludes me, or you, or anyone else from finding a “better love.” In fact, you did!

        Link
      • avatar

        ktfran August 23, 2013, 3:33 pm

        Also, I’m honestly curious. I’m not trying to judge or attack so I hope it doesn’t come across that way.

        Link
      • raptor

        gillociraptor August 23, 2013, 3:59 pm

        It doesn’t come across as an attack 🙂

        I’d be more inclined to name the chemistry partner as a love of my life than the friend, just because it was so intense and awesome, but I think it was too short-lived to reasonably call it love; we were together for maybe eight weeks, when it dramatically imploded. With the friend, it never really felt romantic for me. I loved him, and I loved spending time with him, and we had a lot of fun together, but I wasn’t really all that sexually attracted to him. It just felt safe, I guess.

        I don’t know if I’m explaining this well or not.

        Link
      • avatar

        ktfran August 23, 2013, 4:09 pm

        You are. I totally get what you’re saying.

        It’s also comforting to hear that people have found all the elements that make a lasting partner. I was beginning to think it was unrealistic to want a friend and equal and someone I wanted to have sex with often.

        Link
      • raptor

        gillociraptor August 23, 2013, 4:15 pm

        It happened for me exactly when I decided I wasn’t interested in a forever thing. Of course.

        Link
    • othy

      othy August 23, 2013, 3:16 pm

      Just one love for me. I married the only man I’ve even kissed. We’ve been together for 12 years now, married for 7 🙂

      Reply Link
      • othy

        othy August 23, 2013, 3:19 pm

        Although, I don’t believe in soul mates. I am just glad I found a guy who I am compatible with in so many ways on my first try. If he were to die, I don’t doubt I would find another man out there that I could be happy with.

        Link
    • BriarRose

      BriarRose August 23, 2013, 3:25 pm

      Just one great love for me so far (my ex-husband) and one real heartbreak (my divorce). I don’t believe in soul mates either, and look forward to another great love someday in the future!

      Reply Link
  • iwannatalktosampson

    iwannatalktosampson August 23, 2013, 1:56 pm

    That article about french women is so sexy. The french are the best. Whenever I read articles about other cultures I hate ours more.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    jbk886 August 23, 2013, 2:20 pm

    I read the Slate article when it was first posted on their site, and I have to wonder how much input the author had on that title. It’s more negative than the article itself, and seems like it would cause drama at home.
    However, the article was really interesting and insightful. I’ve known a few people who had arranged marriages, but never wanted to ask about some of the things that she covered.

    Reply Link
  • Northern Mermaid

    Northern Mermaid August 23, 2013, 2:25 pm

    I need help understanding why the Robin Thicke song is MORE sexist than other music in the pop/hip-hop genre. Thoughts?

    Reply Link
    • Fabelle

      Fabelle August 23, 2013, 2:26 pm

      haha I just typed out a big thing below, but I’m basically defending it though?

      Reply Link
    • katie

      katie August 23, 2013, 2:45 pm

      i sent in this article, and i was surprised about it too. like i didnt even think about it. i think that is just a problem for me in general though, because i need to really *read* things to get them. in a song, i dont do much thinking, i just listen and sing along.

      and i dont think its more sexist, but personally i found the interview that robin thicke did completely offensive. “were the perfect men to be sexist! were happily married and we respect women!” what? that makes no sense at all. thats like the “im not racist, i have black friends” defense.

      Reply Link
    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow August 23, 2013, 3:05 pm

      I don’t think it’s more sexist, but it IS getting a lot more attention than other sexist stuff.

      Do you think that him being white has anything to do with it? Like, there are some rap/hip hop songs are pretty disgusting, but some people write it off as like, “Oh that’s just black/hip hop culture.”

      Or maybe it’s just the popularity of it?

      MAYBE it’s because the title is “Blurred Lines.” People are really, really touchy about that sort of thing right now.

      Reply Link
    • meadowphoenix

      meadowphoenix August 24, 2013, 2:38 am

      It’s not more sexist. However it’s getting more attention because it a) presents the same tired rape culture trope that women must be pursued while acting like they don’t want sex and b) Robin Thicke made a video for it in which the women were topless and danced around the men while the men were fully clothed. That combined with the lyrics made people really uncomfortable.

      Reply Link
  • Fabelle

    Fabelle August 23, 2013, 2:26 pm

    Oh god damn it, I can’t believe this is something I have feelings about, but I’ve been getting so, so eye-rolly at everything popping up about how sexist “Blurred Lines” is (am I a bad feminist?) But honestly.. ah.. it’s a song. And yes, the media can influence real-life attitudes, & I believe in its power to be problematic HOWEVER I’m more on the side of, it’s fantasy? Rules can bend a little in fantasy? I get how somebody could ~personally~ find the song offensive, but I get bristly at the implications that it just IS offensive, no questions.

    And unlike some lyrics, where I have to completely separate to enjoy them (i.e. some rap songs, where it’s like “Oh wow, that was totally woman-hating, but HOT BEAT”), I actually *do* enjoy the “rape-y” lyrics (sentences I never wanted to type out…) , because to me, it’s very…wish I could find a different word…fantasy-like? “I know you want it” can be hot, in the right setting, & I think the scene in the song had THAT SETTING in mind?

    Reply Link
    • theattack

      theattack August 23, 2013, 2:32 pm

      I haven’t read any criticism of it, but I don’t think it’s rapey at all. The only thing I even recognize is unfeminist about it is implying that good girls don’t want to act on their desires, but even then, whatever! I wouldn’t let my non-existent kid listen to it, but I think as adults we can all handle it, ya know? It is a hot song!

      Reply Link
      • katie

        katie August 23, 2013, 2:49 pm

        im glad you mentioned kids, because i think thats one of the reasons why its so bad its just acceptable and no one calls this kind of stuff out. kids/teens dont understand the different between the “fantasy” that fab is talking about and real life and acceptable ways of acting. and i do kind of agree with you, fab, about the fantasy thing, because songs are art, and so it can be whatever you want it to, but when this, and most of hip hop/rap is like this, and no one says anything different, thats an issue.

        and i mean come on, your not going to shelter your kids from this. i was more towards “amish” on the sheltered scale, more then probably anyone else here, and i STILL managed to listen to popular music. thats not realistic.

        Link
      • theattack

        theattack August 23, 2013, 2:59 pm

        Oh, no. Don’t get me wrong. I have no intentions of sheltering any kids I might have. But you could explain this to an 11 or 12 year old, where a six year old would just be absorbing the poison into her brain because she can barely grasp the concept, let alone also grasping that it has an element of fantasy and humor. When I say kid in this sense, I mean a younger kid.

        Link
      • katie

        katie August 23, 2013, 3:04 pm

        oh ok yea that makes sense. and thats what kidzbop (kidsbop? kidzpop?) is for! where they change all the words? i heard one of those once and i was sooo confused and then just sad.

        Link
      • theattack

        the attack August 23, 2013, 4:31 pm

        And I meant to say that I agree with you about it being a problem that so much music is like this. I did always think this song was supposed to be funny and somewhat self-deprecating though. When I first heard it my reaction was laughter, so I don’t think Thicke is just trying to cover his ass saying it’s ironic, but I also agree with you that he didn’t do a great job portraying it when the musical environment he created it in makes very similar songs in seriousness. But to me it sounded more like Ben Folds’ version of Bitches Ain’t Shit than Dr. Dre’s.

        Link
    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow August 23, 2013, 2:47 pm

      I don’t like it. (Shocker, haha). Is he really trying to act like he’s being “ironic”? Because that doesn’t work if (a) the audience doesn’t “get it” and (b) it’s the same tired shit we see and hear all the time anyway. I don’t like that it’s called “Blurred Lines.” I don’t like that he says “I know you want it” when she’s apparently saying she doesn’t? I don’t like that he calls her a “good girl” and implies that “good girls” have to act like they DON’T “want it.” Yep, it’s all pretty icky to me. Catchy, sure, but still icky.

      Like NM said above, it’s not really any more sexist than a lot of the other pop garbage. I don’t like those songs either, though. 😉

      Reply Link
      • katie

        katie August 23, 2013, 2:54 pm

        yea, in the interviews, i really didnt get the “ironic” explanation either. how is that ironic? and more importantly how are we supposed to know? i certainly didnt know.

        Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 23, 2013, 3:00 pm

        Yeah, you have to be more over-the-top or, I dunno, clever if you’re trying to make a statement or be “ironic.” Putting something out there that is indistinguishable from everything else and easily fits in as “normal” doesn’t really work. The only “statement” he’s making is that we can’t act like we “want it” if we want to be perceived as “good girls,” and guys need to remember that the lines between yes and no are blurred, and if you tell her how big your dick is then she’ll definitely hop on.

        Can that be true sometimes? Sure. Sometimes girls say no when they mean yes because they think they’re supposed to. But I’d rather put an end to that than perpetuate it in a catchy song.

        Link
      • katie

        katie August 23, 2013, 3:03 pm

        i agree. irony has to be over the top or at the least out of the norm. fail, mr. thicke.

        Link
      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid August 23, 2013, 3:06 pm

        It would have been ironic if HE was the naked one and the ladies were all dressed. No lyric change or gender bend—-just naked dude and business suit ladies.

        Link
      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid August 23, 2013, 3:04 pm

        Cats, I think my main question is why THIS one? Tay Sweezy (Yes. I have a nickname for Taylor Swift) is pretty fucking sexist in her music but she’s a lady, uses nice words, and is really non-threatening, so INTERNALIZE ALL THE SEXISM KIDS! I think that kind of sexism is inherently scarier than suuuper over the top pop/hip-hop. Maybe we should do an experiment and have Taylor Swift sing the blurred lines lyrics.

        Thanks guys! This has actually been really clarifying.

        Link
      • katie

        katie August 23, 2013, 3:06 pm

        maybe it is because of the remarks in the interviews they did? the article seemed to concentrate more on that anyway

        Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 23, 2013, 3:08 pm

        Oh, I completely agree that the less obvious, er, less in-your-face sexism is scarier. Like you said, it’s seen as benign and it’s then internalized, which may even lead to the blatant, over-the-top stuff.

        Taylor Swift does get a lot of criticism for not being feminist, though.

        I posited some theories about why “Blurred Lines” is getting so much attention above, but really, I have no idea.

        Link
      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid August 23, 2013, 3:15 pm

        Yeah. I feel like I shouldn’t pick on Tay Tay because 1. I loooove listening to here (but I can at least roll my eyes dismissively at some of the more over the top lyrics and 2. She does get the same crap—she just popped into my head. I’m just saying that most parents can easily be like “I would never let my daugther listen to Robin Thicke! Thank goodness she likes Taylor Swift though”

        Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 23, 2013, 3:44 pm

        haha, yeah. Very true. I wrote a paper about it when I was 19ish. It was after Tipper Gore went on a rant about something, and I was like, “Well THIS is actually the stuff you should be upset about,” and talked about less visible/obvious types of sexism. I had recently cut my hair very short, too, so when my grandpa read my paper, he went, “Oh… you’re one of those.” I’m still not sure if he meant feminist or lesbian. Or both.

        Link
      • Lindsay

        Lindsay August 24, 2013, 8:33 am

        I don’t know if I would say it is scarier. It is sneakier, but not much is scarier to me than the idea that a dude is assuming a woman is only saying no because she thinks she she should.

        Link
      • Lindsay

        Lindsay August 24, 2013, 8:36 am

        Also, I got into a debate with two college kids I work with about Taylor Swift. They couldn’t wrap heir minds around the idea that I didn’t like her or that I thought she wasn’t a good role model. The guy was like, “I know she has been with a lot of guys, but …” And I was like, whoa, no, that’s not the issue…

        Link
    • avatar

      bethany August 23, 2013, 3:33 pm

      Am I the only one who doesn’t know this song?
      I never listen to the radio, and when I do, it’s Classic Rock on Sirius!

      Reply Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 23, 2013, 3:38 pm

        Haha, I listen to classic rock and NPR. I’m old.

        Link
      • katie

        Katie August 23, 2013, 4:04 pm

        I loooooove NPR. I find music to be very boring most of the time actually.

        Link
    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow August 23, 2013, 3:47 pm

      Also, hearing it doesn’t make me feel angry or offended. I just kind of sigh and then feel sad that the attitudes expressed are so prevalent.

      Reply Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 23, 2013, 3:51 pm

        And then dance.

        Link
      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid August 23, 2013, 3:50 pm

        Cats, have you looked at feminist taylor swift on twitter?

        sooo funny

        Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 23, 2013, 3:55 pm

        ahah those are good

        Link
    • avatar

      Ammie August 24, 2013, 10:48 am

      I don’t see the rape-y-ness of it. “I know you want it, but you’re a good girl”? Rapey? She’s got a man who she’s with. She’s flirting with him and he knows it (“the way you grab me, must wanna get nasty”), but she’s not gonna do anything because she’s with her guy and sticking by him is what she considers the good/right thing to do. He’s inviting her to embrace her desires without regard for right or wrong (“go ahead get at me”, “but you’re an animal, baby, it’s in your nature”), but there’s nothing I recall in the lyrics that implies that he’s overriding her consent. He’s *asking* her to come with him (“just let me liberate you”, “hit me up when you passing through”, “don’t get it if you don’t get with me”, “I just watch and wait for you to salute”), but expressing desire and a request for reciprocation is kind of how dating works. Crudely worded? Sure. Rapey? Nope.

      The blurred lines aren’t consent lines. They’re the lines between what she believes is right (being with her “square” man who, the singers are suggesting, doesn’t really please her) and going for what she REALLY wants (which, the singers are hoping, is them). The video is undeniably sexist. But I really don’t see the song suggesting rape.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Ammie August 24, 2013, 10:57 am

        (I think I may need to start a meetup group for explication de texte. So fun to do close readings, even of things like pop songs. :))

        Link
      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 24, 2013, 1:54 pm

        Close reading of “Blurred Lines”, omg. I love that you did this, haha (& I agree with your interpretation!)

        Link
  • Nicolasa

    Nicolasa August 23, 2013, 1:49 pm

    I have very mixed thoughts on unpaid internships. I feel the concept is good… giving young adults opportunities to gain professional experience to further advance their careers is a good thing. However, I feel many internships are exploited for free labor to do mind-numbing tasks- and don’t really give valuable work experience or marketable skill set. And many of them don’t lead to jobs in the industry… Also, I feel it takes away opportunities for entry level employees- because why pay someone when an intern can do it?
    I did one unpaid internship in college for the Marketing/PR department of my university. I was already working there as a student employee- and the editor approached me for assistance. I was given a bunch of BS tasks that the editor didn’t want to do, and it didn’t feel like a good use of my time. So, I quit after 3 months. I put that internship on my resume- and it never generated any interest from employers. I usually advise college students to try to find a student job or look for paid internships. NY Times did a really interesting piece about this topic earlier this year:

    Reply Link
    • katie

      katie August 23, 2013, 2:01 pm

      i think that there should be a very defined line of separation between what is acceptable for unpaid interns and what isn’t- for instance, if you are a college graduate, an unpaid internship should be illegal. i could get behind that. that would still give students the opportunity to further their skills unpaid, companies could still exploit workers without pay (which is an exploitation regardless, in my opinion, if the people are doing actual work and not just observing), but once people entered the workforce, which is the moment they graduate college, i would say pretty much across the board, it would be illegal to exploit the general workforce.

      but then i wouldnt know what to do about people who dont go to college. i dont know if there actually is a good way to combat exploitation, just because people are different and take different paths in life. it sucks. i hate un paid internships, i dont think they should exist at all.

      Reply Link
      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 23, 2013, 2:11 pm

        Unpaid internships are all the rage in law school now since the market went to shit. It’s really scary how many people I know that are working FOR FREE as attorney’s after law school when they are fully barred. You could say that’s their fault for taking them, but it’s being shoved down their throat that it’s valuable experience and if they ever want to get a real job they need a great resume. The problem is that a lot of people that go to law school come from well off families (shocker) so they can take all the unpaid internships they want, and others have to get non-legal but paying jobs. I don’t know the system is whack. I should quit bitching about my job. But it sucks balls and I have to work tomorrow and I’m pissed. Like rage black out pissed about it. Not that I have to work on a weekend, but that I have to COME INTO THE OFFICE PHYSICALLY ON A WEEKEND. Rage blackout. It’s one thing to sit at home in yoga pants and do work, but to have to look presentable while working on a weekend is treason.

        Link
    • othy

      othy August 23, 2013, 3:13 pm

      I’ve had a couple of students who did some work for us at my job. All unpaid. I don’t know if they would classify as ‘interns’ or if the work they did were simply projects. They were Master’s of Public Health students. They did work of their own, nothing that we had on our to-do list. They would come to us, define what they wanted to do, and we would help them do it. At the end, they usually had a poster/presentation to put on an abstract, as well as a good start to a scientific journal and a good reference.

      IMO, this is the kind of thing that an internship should be, not something that the company needs to get done but they are not willing to pay for.

      Reply Link
      • othy

        othy August 23, 2013, 3:19 pm

        *Resume, not abstract.

        Link
      • Miel

        Miel August 23, 2013, 3:58 pm

        But should those “internship” be unpaid ? I get what your describing, because that’s exactly what I did for many years during my undergrad. And I was always paid. This was my summer job, and I was getting money in one form or another for it, because I was doing work.

        My problem with unpaid internship is that many students cannot afford them. For example, some students have intensive degrees that don’t leave time for a job during the semester so they absolutely need a salary during the summer. Is it fair for the students that only the richer ones can do internships, because the less rich ones absolutely need a salary, and thus working at Starbuck instead of doing research at a well known institute ? Which one will have the nicer resume at the end, the one that got paid for his job or the one that accepted to not be paid ? Not everyone can just work for free, they need to eat at night too.

        Link
      • othy

        othy August 23, 2013, 5:49 pm

        I think it depends on how intensive the project is. A lot the master’s programs near us require a ‘practicum’, most of which aren’t paid. Some programs allow you to do just this during the semester you take it (usually during the summer), but some require you to do it while you’re taking 3 other classes. I had to work full time during my master’s program, and I am very thankful that a practicum wasn’t a part of the requirements for my degree.

        Link
    • Lindsay

      Lindsay August 24, 2013, 8:27 am

      But then they’d just never give grads internships, and people who aren’t experienced enough to get jobs would likely never get them. Because it’s not like a person who had ease getting a job would have taken the unpaid internship. I think it ether has to be outlawed completely or not at all. A lot of college students would otherwise be working over summer, so even for them, it is hard not to get paid. Especially if you have to pay for the credit you earn, like at my school.

      I don’t think it makes employers less likely to hire interns because you don’t have to pay them as high as professional staff. Lower pay and no benefits is still appealing to employers. I had two paid internships before and after college, and nobody seemed bothered by the fact that they were paying me. I honk the key was that I was doing real work, not errands.

      The unpaid intern thing is just really biased against students without extra money because while some people see it as inconvenient, a lot of students just literally cannot do it because they can’t afford to pay rent and other necessities without an income, or with a small side income.

      Reply Link
      • Lindsay

        Lindsay August 24, 2013, 8:29 am

        Sorry, that first line was a reply to Katie, and the rest was in general.

        Link
  • mylaray

    mylaray August 23, 2013, 5:00 pm

    On unpaid internships, I have a very strong opinion on that. First of all, a huge majority of unpaid “internships” are not really internships, and they are illegal. A lot of companies don’t abide by the laws and people go for them because they feel they have to, even though they are very much being taken advantage of. I can understand why someone would go for an unpaid internship if they feel that’s all they can get, but it’s sad because what many companies do is against the law and no one should be taken advantage like that. But too many don’t know their rights.

    Unpaid internships are supposed to offer a very similar environment to one you get in a classroom. There are lots of conditions on whether a company can get by without paying someone and I find it interesting.

    The law is stated here:

    There was a recent class action court case where some production assistants (I think) were working on the set of Black Swan, doing the same work as other paid workers and working long overtime hours, but were under an “unpaid internship”. Anyways, the workers won and I think that set a good precedent for companies doing that and for those seeking internships.

    Reply Link

Leave a Comment