Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“10 facts about infidelity, as divulged by Helen Fisher” [via Ted]

So…this guy in Holland has such super sperm impregnating powers that people all over Europe seek him out to get knocked up (the old-fashioned way). So far, he has fathered 98 babies (he keeps a spreadsheet). And he does it for free because he’s noble like that, but says if he found a woman to settle down with, he might look into a different kind of charitable activity. “Is Ed Houben Europe’s most virile man?” [via BBC]

This is lovely: “A Second Embrace, With Hearts and Eyes Open” [via NYTimes]

“Gift-Grubby Mom-To-Be Sends Incredibly Annoying Poem To Everyone Who Missed Her Baby Shower” [via Mommyish]

“Study: Smarter People Are More Trusting” [via The Atlantic]

“7 Steps You Can Take To Address Street Harassment” [via Everyday Feminism]

“Reaching My Autistic Son Through Disney” [via NYTimes]

“8 Ancient Beliefs Now Backed By Modern Science” [via HuffPo]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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27 comments… add one
  • avatar

    bethany March 21, 2014, 1:14 pm

    The shower gift… I just can’t.

    Angela in the comments wins hands down for this:
    “Ha! I’d wrap up the Emily Post Guide to Etiquette and enclose the following poem.

    Babies need a lot
    Of this fact we all know
    And as they get older
    Their needs will just grow
    Babies need diapers
    and bottles, oh yes
    But the most important thing
    (Can you guess?)
    Is a parent to teach
    And to give them advice
    To make sure they know
    What is good, right, and nice
    And since it appears
    That your baby is lacking
    I’ve decided to help
    And make up for your slacking
    This book will teach manners
    And etiquette too
    In short, there is hope
    He’ll be nothing like you”

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    • katie

      katie March 21, 2014, 1:31 pm

      this reminds me of that cash as a gift poem someone talked about on here once.
      .
      why do people think its ok to say basically anything as long as its in poem form? like the form makes it ok?

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      • avatar

        Sara March 21, 2014, 2:02 pm

        I was just thinking about this as a new trend: poem format + comic sans font = be as tactless as you want.

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      • katie

        katie March 21, 2014, 2:16 pm

        ok we cant do the comic sans font BUT lets run with this.
        .
        darling of my life,
        apple of my eye,
        im so glad im your wife,
        but your penis is small.
        also, im bad at poetry. enjoy the comic sans.

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      • avatar

        Sara March 21, 2014, 2:36 pm

        Weddings cost a lot;
        My bank account’s about shot.
        But I don’t care how many bucks
        You have left in the pockets of your tux.
        Give it to us, and we’ll use it to pay
        for this very expensive day.
        Seriously, give us a big cash gift,
        Or we’ll write a poem about how you short shrift.

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      • katie

        katie March 21, 2014, 2:50 pm

        we laugh, we talk
        we flirt, your totally hot.
        i know you have a wife and kids
        but i’d like to finally put in my own bid
        coworker to lover,
        what a transition
        check yes or no to tell me your decision
        .
        (^ pretty fucking good right!!!) haha

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    • Kate B.

      Kate B. March 21, 2014, 1:34 pm

      I was going to attempt a poem but this beats anything I had in mind. The only way it would be cooler is if it were recited by Ian McKellan or Patrick Stewart in full Shakespearean dress accompanied by a lute player.

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  • muchachaenlaventana

    muchachaenlaventana March 21, 2014, 1:32 pm

    ah the second embrace article has me crying like a baby. good thing I am not at work today, so beautiful.

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    • avatar

      AliceInDairyland March 21, 2014, 1:43 pm

      Oh my gosh, so lovely.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson March 21, 2014, 2:04 pm

      It’s such a good story and so well written!

      Reply Link
    • gigi

      gigi March 21, 2014, 2:36 pm

      Yes! It was beautiful & brought tears to my eyes also. It made me feel sad, yet hopeful.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    Banana March 21, 2014, 1:45 pm

    On the trust one — I’m generally wary of studies like that, but I really liked this point: “The researchers posit that intelligent people might be better at correctly evaluating whether people are trustworthy, or whether a particular person is likely to act untrustworthily in a particular situation.”
    *
    Anecdotes aren’t data, but I have found that the extremely, generally-distrustful people I’ve met really aren’t all that much smarter than everyone else — in fact, sometimes their overpowering distrust springs from ignorance of the given situation/place/people they distrust. Other extremely distrusting people I’ve met are simply insecure — if their distrust is the kind that leads them to question other people’s performance or abilities when not under direct supervision (like, not trusting that a well-qualified, well-reviewed plumber will do the job right), it’s often because they don’t understand the topic themselves AND they feel insecure and defensive about it.

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    • KKZ

      KKZ March 21, 2014, 2:57 pm

      I’d like to think I’m a smart cookie – have never taken an IQ test or anything, but got excellent grades – and have learned the hard way that I’m incredibly trusting, to a fault. I’ve gotten burned, or nearly missed getting burned, many times on account of being too trusting. And yet I continue to say that Most people are trustworthy. Which almost kinda belies the point of “smarter = better judge of character” – if I’m that smart, surely I would have learned from my mistakes that people aren’t as trustworthy as I assume they are! I don’t expect that a study could necessarily capture this, though… whose perceptions are more accurate, the trusting or the suspicious?

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      • KKZ

        KKZ March 21, 2014, 3:51 pm

        What the crap, you guys. My avatar is going nuts. It reverted back to my old one that showed my face, and I tried setting it back to my dog, and now I get a broken-image image. Le sigh.

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      • avatar

        d2 March 21, 2014, 10:30 pm

        On my computer, I see your dog in the avatar. Unless that’s you catching the frisbee – in which case, you look very athletic…

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  • mylaray

    mylaray March 21, 2014, 1:53 pm

    I read the infidelity article and am surprised about the statistics (something like up to 40% of married men and 25% of married women having an affair in their lifetime)….but then I read the second embrace article–that was so sad, in a uplifting way. I love stories like that. It makes me hopeful in a way.

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  • katie

    katie March 21, 2014, 2:11 pm

    the most virile man piece is so interesting. have there ever been studies on babies resulting from sex success rates vs babies resulting from infertility treatments success rates? like webmd says that IVF has a 24% success rate. thats a horrible success rate. i mean if this guy could impregnate someone in 4 tries after 15 YEARS of the infertility industry trying i think there is something to be gained in studying that…

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    • mylaray

      mylaray March 21, 2014, 2:25 pm

      I agree it would be cool to see some research comparing the treatments. I thought it was really intriguing too, though I wonder about if they take any precautions for STDs, since they are obviously not using any protection. There’s a guy in the US (I think Seattle or in the Northwest) who donates his sperm for free (he doesn’t have sex though but the women come to him and pick it up when it’s fresh) and he has a high success rate.

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      • katie

        katie March 21, 2014, 2:28 pm

        oh yea i think he was on that tv show weird sex right? he is cool too.
        .
        i would just assume he has very regular checkups, and require checkups of the people who he is impregnating before impregnating them.

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  • avatar

    DreamPlanActLive March 21, 2014, 2:12 pm

    Oh Gods, I hate it when people act so trashy and entitled to gifts just for hitting a milestone in their lifes.I know that expecting a child is a huge deal to the soon-to-be parents, but expecting-no,wait- DEMANDING people to buy you gifts?Sorry,lady,you are a classless brat.

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  • avatar

    TheOtherOtherMe March 21, 2014, 2:18 pm

    So does the super-fertile guy have sex with the lesbians? The article doesn’t really address this directly, it just says that he uses his own “apparatus” instead of a syringe. Or maybe he impregnated the lesbians back in the day when he used to donate to the sperm bank? Also, how did he discover he was super fertile? So confused… I sort of want to call B.S. on this article.

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    • katie

      katie March 21, 2014, 2:21 pm

      i could see having sex as a means to get a baby as a lesbian. maybe not every lesbian could, but also not every heterosexual woman could get past that either, because either way its sex that you wouldnt necessarily want for pleasurable purposes, its just for procreation purposes.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson March 21, 2014, 2:24 pm

        Yeah that doesn’t actually seem that weird to me, it’s just a means to an end. My friend has a gay brother who has a lesbian best friend and they’ve talked about doing it the old fashioned way and raising a kid together because the only other choice would essentially be him whacking off and then paying someone like $20,000 to put it inside of her and even then it might not even work. So it’s much more practical to just bang it out a few times at important times of the month.

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    • avatar

      Christy March 21, 2014, 2:37 pm

      IDK. Like, conceiving is never gonna be a really fun experience as a lesbian, but I’m trying to decide if “natural apparatus” or turkey baster is better. Neither sounds particularly appealing.

      But I think if I wanted a kid bad enough, I’d do it.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    bethany March 21, 2014, 2:35 pm

    The autism article was really interesting to read. It’s amazing and exhausting to hear about what that family went through to communicate with their child.

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  • avatar

    scattol March 21, 2014, 4:43 pm

    You know, nothing in the Extra-Fertile article says that he’s more fertile than all other man (or even many man) just that he managed to make a good name for himself and had sex with about 100 women. I suppose it’s a good job if you can get it!

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  • Miel

    Miel March 21, 2014, 5:54 pm

    I’m at the airport and I’m trying to not cry in public now that I read the autism article. Tales have always had a particular place in my heart. Good tales talk about situations and emotions that most kids can’t express yet with words, and I believe it helps their emotional development a great deal to have those emotions communicated to them through stories and songs. To see that the same tales helped an autistic kids in a similar way, it’s really touching.

    Hopefully the people on my flight don’t think I’m crazy, seeing me crying like that 15 minutes before boarding.

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