Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“10 Life Lessons to Excel in Your 30s” [via Mark Manson]

A recent study has shown that if American parents read one more long-form think piece about parenting they will go fucking ape shit. “New Parenting Study Released” [via New Yorker]

“A working mom’s open letter to Gwyneth” [via NYPost]

“An Online Generation Redefines Mourning” [via NYTimes]

“America’s Workers: Stressed Out, Overwhelmed, Totally Exhausted” [The Atlantic]

“The Kids, They Know Things: I used to do everything for my children. Now, they do things for me” [via Slate]

WTF: “Hotels Will Let You Pay Them to Live-Tweet Your Wedding” [via Jezebel]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

51 comments… add one
  • lemongrass

    lemongrass March 28, 2014, 12:58 pm

    I liked the parenting article on Slate. It is so easy to feel like things will always stay the way they are now, even when you know that it won’t.

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      bethany March 28, 2014, 1:04 pm

      I really liked that, too. It’s gotta be pretty cool to watch your kids become actual little people who are capable of doing things on their own. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like for a parent to watch their child grow into an adult who then has their own children one day. It’s gotta be pretty rad.

      Reply Link
      • lemongrass

        lemongrass March 28, 2014, 1:09 pm

        No kidding. Even now watching E sort his stacking cups trying to fit the big one into the small one and eventually figuring it out is so cool. Sure, it’s fun watching him toddle around or throw a ball but when he’s using his brain, actively figuring things out is awesome! He knows what I’m saying now and follows directions (for a few seconds anyways!)

        Link
    • avatar

      RedroverRedrover March 28, 2014, 2:11 pm

      I contributed that link! My son is 11 months old and I already miss “my baby”. He’s turning into such a little boy, so fast!

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest March 28, 2014, 2:18 pm

        One of the toughest things I’ve encountered is not telling my daughter I wish she would stop growing and stay my little baby.

        Link
      • avatar

        RedroverRedrover March 29, 2014, 11:55 am

        Awwww. Good point though, I better not do that to him. 🙂

        Link
  • avatar

    bethany March 28, 2014, 1:27 pm

    I loved “10 life lessons to excel in your 30s”. I’m happy that I’ve already learned most of them. It’s nice to hear that some of those hard choices will pay off in the long run!

    Reply Link
    • othy

      othy March 28, 2014, 1:29 pm

      Yep, still so glad I started my 401k at 23. And that I’ve continued to increase my contribution with every pay raise.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest March 28, 2014, 1:32 pm

        Yea was feeling proud I feel like I have these covered…except for the whole taking care of your health thing.

        Link
      • othy

        othy March 28, 2014, 1:41 pm

        I’m just starting to work on that (eating healthier, working out more, etc), but I’m still in my (very late) 20s, so by my 30s, I should be good.

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest March 28, 2014, 2:19 pm

        Othy’s bragging again.

        Link
      • othy

        othy March 28, 2014, 3:28 pm

        It’s true, I do that sometimes. 🙂

        Link
      • othy

        othy March 28, 2014, 3:33 pm

        And, I did eat a whole frozen pizza for dinner last night, so I’m not there yet. But damn it was yummy.

        Link
      • avatar

        bethany March 28, 2014, 1:35 pm

        Aside from your health and financial security, I think #3 was really important. I did a fair bit of purging from my social circle in my late 20s, and it’s been really, really healthy for me. Life is so much less complicated now than it used to be.

        Link
      • avatar

        Banana March 28, 2014, 1:53 pm

        Amen. I’m in my mid/late twenties and I think one of the best things I’ve done for my personal happiness was stopping hanging out with a group of people in my early 20s who socially bullied me. I don’t think I realized it at the time, because of a combination of low confidence, and the fact that I never realized adults could still bully each other. Ever since then, I just hang out with people I like, who are nice to me. If someone crosses the line, 99% of the time I’m A-okay walking away from them.

        Link
    • avatar

      kerrycontrary March 28, 2014, 1:49 pm

      I liked that article too. I think it’s stuff that can generally apply throughout your lifetime. Although, I wish more people would start contributing to retirement in their 20s just because of compound interest. I don’t mean batten down the hatches and have no fun and don’t spend any money, but it’s really really important to being able to support yourself in retirement.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        Banana March 28, 2014, 1:54 pm

        And if you have it auto-deducted from your paycheck, you barely even notice it! There’s such a huge psychological difference there.

        Link
      • avatar

        Kate March 28, 2014, 2:22 pm

        Yes to compounded interest. I didn’t start working until I was about 26 (“military wife” and in grad school before that), but at that time I started contributing to the company’s 401(k), just a few percentage points at first. I think that company did matching. I know my second company did. My current company does not, which sucks, but anyway, over the years I’ve cranked it up to the max contribution.

        Even if you start small, if you start in your 20s and keep gradually increasing as you get older, you will be in good shape. They say by 30 you should have 1x your annual salary saved for retirement, and by 40 you should have 2x. I am on track with that and it feels good.

        Link
  • GatorGirl

    GatorGirl March 28, 2014, 1:36 pm

    The live tweeting of weddings cracks me up. I can’t believe there are people dumb enough to pay $3k for that.

    Reply Link
    • othy

      othy March 28, 2014, 1:42 pm

      Hell, I’ll live tweet anyone’s wedding for $1k plus the cost of travel.

      Reply Link
      • LlamaPajamas

        LlamaPajamas March 28, 2014, 1:58 pm

        Cool. I’m sending you a ticket to Vermont for the first weekend in October. I’ll expect you to use #weddingllama and #thebrideistotallynormal a lot.

        Link
      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl March 28, 2014, 2:01 pm

        Oh, I acutally like wedding hashtags! We had one for ours and where able to track down all the photo’s people instagramed because of the hashtag and we’ve saved them all. #Weddingllama for the win.

        Link
      • avatar

        bethany March 28, 2014, 2:03 pm

        I wish we would have thought to do something like that! However, the humidity from 4 straight days of rain turned most electronics into a pile of mush, so I don’t think anyone would have been able to properly Instagram our wedding.

        Link
      • LlamaPajamas

        LlamaPajamas March 28, 2014, 2:10 pm

        I love the idea of wedding hashtags but we’re going to be in a really rural part of Vermont with no cell phone reception or wireless. Which is a shame because I want to share photos of my wedding llama with everyone right away!

        Link
      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl March 28, 2014, 2:14 pm

        You can ask the people to use the hashtag when they get around to posting stuff! we had wedding stuff trickle in for days after. It was so fun to look at all the pictures. Some of my favorites are from the hashtag, not the prof photog!

        Link
      • othy

        othy March 28, 2014, 3:31 pm

        I’m so there. Your wedding sounds fantastic #llamapajamasisawesome

        Link
  • mylaray

    mylaray March 28, 2014, 1:43 pm

    I like the article about mourning, though some parts were weird. I’m not sure how I feel about social media and death. When my friend was murdered, a few weeks later, Facebook had notifications pop up that I hadn’t talked to her in awhile and I should reconnect. That’s fucked up. Social media is still learning how to deal appropriately with death. Over the summer, I was at a funeral for a family member and I took a few pictures with my phone of the table where there were old pictures and the guestbook. I felt semi disrespectful even doing that and taking my phone out. But it was my family and it was just for me. I saw other family members post those pictures on social media, and to me, it felt disrespectful to share that with the world. Then there’s the girl in the article who posted a selfie at a funeral, complaining about being at a funeral and bragging about her hair. There’s always going to be someone like that and I know you can’t really stop it. It’s harder to ignore the rude comments when they are made online. Now, those comments exist forever.
    .
    Which is why I love the idea of those mourning websites mentioned in the article, especially the Lisa Frank one for my generation. It’s good to have a separate space for death and mourning. I’ve lost too many friends and finding solace in sharing with others who have experienced similar things has been much needed. I know that things are changing and I guess it makes sense for social media to have some impact on mourning, but to be honest, I just don’t like it/I don’t really find it helpful.

    Reply Link
  • katie

    katie March 28, 2014, 2:11 pm

    the american workers piece: wow. fucking wow. i hate america more and more all the time.

    Reply Link
  • katie

    katie March 28, 2014, 2:24 pm

    also, the open letter to gwenyth paltrow? hilarious! i cant believe she actually said what she did while people were around to write it down.

    Reply Link
    • Miss MJ

      Miss MJ March 28, 2014, 3:51 pm

      I think it’s fascinating that she said it, not realizing at all how it would sound, and most likely having no intent to offend at all. She’s so out of touch with how most of the rest of the country lives that she probably does truly believe (or did, anyway) that regular working moms have it much easier than she does. The sheer ignorance of anything other than her own existence is priceless.

      Reply Link
  • GatorGirl

    GatorGirl March 28, 2014, 2:25 pm

    The New Yorker parenting article is pretty funny.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    haggith March 28, 2014, 2:54 pm

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      No Pants March 28, 2014, 3:00 pm

      This is amazing! Nathan and I are “purposefully interlaced.”

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest March 28, 2014, 3:02 pm

        Nathan is the best you could come up with for your BF’s fake DW name? Really?
        YOUR NAME IS NO PANTS. Give him something a little better than that. Jeez. Selfish much?

        Link
      • avatar

        No Pants March 28, 2014, 3:06 pm

        I BLEW IT. I usually call him Mr. Yes Pants. I’m sorry, LBH. Would it help if I told you he calls DW, Hello Wendy? I never corrected him.

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest March 28, 2014, 3:11 pm

        aww, I like Hello Wendy.

        I’d go with He Pants

        Link
      • avatar

        No Pants March 28, 2014, 3:18 pm

        He Pants looked so earnest and sincere when he said it that I didn’t have the heart to correct him.

        Link
      • avatar

        Banana March 28, 2014, 3:07 pm

        A few helpful suggestions:
        No Pantlo
        Ho Pants
        He-Pants
        The Commando

        Link
      • avatar

        No Pants March 28, 2014, 3:09 pm

        I really like He-Pants.

        Link
  • avatar

    lets_be_honest March 28, 2014, 2:59 pm

    Ok so the letter to Gwneth, I sort of see where GP was coming from? Is that terrible to say? haha.
    She’s right – its easier to have a routine when you work 9-5 or whatever. You really can’t deny that. It doesn’t mean the parenting is easier or your life is easier or your finances are easier. Just that the routine is, because there actually can be a routine.

    Reply Link
    • GatorGirl

      GatorGirl March 28, 2014, 3:17 pm

      I mean, I agree routines are easier…but idk. Like how hard can her life really be? Of course working 14 hours a day probs sucks…but it’s not like she does that EVERY day. Being away from your kids I’m sure sucks, but I’d wager she spends more days at home with no work responsibilities than away. IDK, it’s just another reason for me to feel all “meh” about her. She just seems so out of touch with reality. (But what do I know.)

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest March 28, 2014, 3:19 pm

        Right, but I don’t think she said any of that. She wasn’t saying her life’s harder, just that it lacks routine, which it probably does.

        Link
      • avatar

        bethany March 28, 2014, 3:25 pm

        It’s lack of routine for 14 days a year. Lets get real here. Even if she’s on the road promoting a film that’s gotta be a month or 2 max. I would give a kidney to work my ass of for 1 month and make 5mil. That means you’d never have to work again if you really wanted to. That would allow for a LIFETIME of routine.
        I just can’t feel sorry for her.

        Link
      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl March 28, 2014, 3:28 pm

        jinks!

        Link
      • avatar

        bethany March 28, 2014, 3:29 pm

        Coke Ya!

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest March 28, 2014, 3:46 pm

        Haha, I don’t disagree with that, nor do I feel sorry for her. I’m just saying that yes, if she’s talking about not having routine when it comes to your job being shooting a movie, I think that’s true.

        Link
      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl March 28, 2014, 3:27 pm

        Yeah…I’m not so sure. I mean how many days a year do you think she works? Per IMDB she was in three films in 2012, one film in 2013, and a handful of Glee episodes in 2014…Maybe like 50 days per each…200 days at movies plus some for Glee…Maybe 300 days of work in 3 years? (Obviously all guesses, but I can’t imagine it’s more.) That would give her like 3/4 of the year to have a routine. IDK. I just don’t have sympathy for her.

        Link
      • avatar

        lets_be_honest March 28, 2014, 3:49 pm

        Right, but she’s not talking about her routine when she’s not working, she’s talking about her routine when she IS working, or lack of routine. Agreeing with the fact that when you aren’t even home, you don’t have a routine with your kids, isn’t saying you feel sorry for her or that she has it Oh So Hard. Of course she has it beyond easy. And of course she has a great routine when she’s not working 90% of the year.

        Link
  • Fabelle

    Fabelle March 28, 2014, 4:15 pm

    Fuck, I thought the Jezebel article said: “Hotels pay you to live-tweet your wedding!” assuming it was a marketing move *for them* somehow? Like they would embellish and make fun of you/your guests to gain followers? & I was like oh fuck yesh, I don’t care, give me money! But no.

    Reply Link
  • Fabelle

    Fabelle March 28, 2014, 4:18 pm

    FUCK YESHHH I HAVE A DIRTY MOUTH AND A LISP (oops, this is what happens when I type from my phone)

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    scattol March 31, 2014, 12:09 am

    Here’s a cheaper solution for your wedding. Have the organist play the Star Wars theme as the processional music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2S72eajLzw 🙂

    Ok, not sure if it would fly but it would certainly sound great

    Reply Link

Leave a Comment