Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

I love this project. I’ve seen some of the posters around my neighborhood and wondered what the story was behind them, and now I know. [above via Stop Telling Women to Smile]

“Couple Married for Seven Decades Dies Within Hours of Each Other” [via Time]

“The female ‘confidence gap’ is a sham” [via The Guardian]

“How Gchat Is Destroying Your Relationships, Productivity And Possibly Your Soul” [via HuffPo]

“What Happens When Men Try to Sound Sexy” [via Time]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

Follow along on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

47 comments… add one
  • lemongrass

    lemongrass April 25, 2014, 12:56 pm

    I hope I die within hours of my husband. As long as he’s old when he dies.

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  • iwannatalktosampson

    iwannatalktosampson April 25, 2014, 12:58 pm

    God I am such a sucker for stories about people being married for decades and then dying within hours of each other. It’s the ultimate romantic gesture.

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  • avatar

    bethany April 25, 2014, 1:01 pm

    If you substitute DW for Gchat, that article makes a lot more sense to me.

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  • mylaray

    mylaray April 25, 2014, 1:05 pm

    I saw those posters in Brooklyn when I was there a few months ago and I kept meaning to look up the project and I forgot so I’m glad you posted this! Love the project and the art.

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest April 25, 2014, 1:11 pm

    Oh damn, I had a link I meant to submit. It was good too. Katie would’ve liked it.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson April 25, 2014, 1:14 pm

      Was it about food or cats?

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest April 25, 2014, 1:14 pm

      Found it.

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  • avatar

    bethany April 25, 2014, 1:13 pm

    “The couple visited almost all 50 states by bus after Kenneth retired, and even in their final days, they ate breakfast together while holding hands.”

    Those old people get a pass on the obnoxious hand holding because they’re old and adorable. But god, I cannot stand it when people hold hands all the time. It makes me rammy and drives me crazy. Especially on House Hunters. Who the fuck holds hands while walking through a house you might buy?! (I realize the producers probably tell them to do that, but still… ick!)

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    • lemongrass

      lemongrass April 25, 2014, 1:15 pm

      I miss holding hands. We never get to do it because one of us is either pushing a stroller or holding onto E.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 25, 2014, 1:15 pm

        Bethany’s gonna ram you if you continue with comments like these.

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      lets_be_honest April 25, 2014, 1:17 pm

      We hold hands every minute of the day. Peter created this extended arm thing that can stretch to 30 miles if need be, so we just each hold an end of it when I have to go to work. Its really sweet.

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      • lemongrass

        lemongrass April 25, 2014, 1:19 pm

        You have custom made pillows of your hands so that you can always hold hands even when you’re not together, don’t you.

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      • avatar

        bethany April 25, 2014, 1:21 pm

        I’m going to hit both of you!

        I’m not against all hand holding. I like a little now and then, but relentless hand holding is one of my biggest pet peeves. Especially on crowded city streets.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 25, 2014, 1:22 pm

        Wow, you really think we’re crazy, don’t you? Hand pillows? That’s over the top. We just have mold of each other private parts to hold on to. Jeez. When I come visit E, I’ll bring Peter’s balls mold if you want to check it out.

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      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki April 25, 2014, 1:24 pm

        I think I’m traumatized now.

        …and my math question is really hard so I had to use a calculator. I should just log in.

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    • LlamaPajamas

      LlamaPajamas April 25, 2014, 1:21 pm

      Bethany, you’re constantly making me feel better about myself. I’m not against hand holding, I just think there’s a time and a place for it and I don’t want to see it or do it all the time. Llama Guy loves to hold hands and I feel like a bitch for constantly dropping his hand when we’re walking through crowded public places. And I find myself consciously trying to be affectionate when LG and I meet with realtors. Like, I worry that they won’t want to rent us the townhouse if I don’t act like I’m soooo in love with him so I’ll put my hand on his arm or whatever. I don’t even know why I feel judged by realtors. Actually, I’m the same way when we do anything wedding related, too. For an anthropologist who hates gender norms I sure obsess about not being girly enough.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary April 25, 2014, 1:28 pm

        I actually feel the same way with wedding stuff. like “are we not acting in love enough”. Or vendors have looked at me weird if my fiance isn’t there (I’m sorry, but he just does not care about the flowers).

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        No Pants April 25, 2014, 1:32 pm

        I went through that too! I’m not comfortable with much physical affection in public, and we had a few wedding vendors (and even family members) who definitely gave us funny looks if we weren’t all goo-goo eyed and madly in love with each other during meetings. Someone actually told me I seemed the most excited over the pigs in a blanket we served at the reception.

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      • Copa

        Copa April 25, 2014, 3:30 pm

        Your last sentence made me laugh aloud.

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      • avatar

        No Pants April 25, 2014, 3:36 pm

        Pigs in a blanket are my jam.

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      • LlamaPajamas

        LlamaPajamas April 25, 2014, 1:47 pm

        Llama Guy cares more about everything wedding-related than I do. It’s adorable and really sweet and borderline annoying. It is fun having him dress shop with me though because the dress shop ladies DO NOT LIKE THAT. And he’s amazing at calming my weight insecurities and will tell me honestly and tactfully if he doesn’t like something or something looks bad. I know I should shop with my mom and sister but my sister is really far away and my mom makes me feel awful about my body so I just stick with LG!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 25, 2014, 1:49 pm

        Is it ok that I’m in love with your fiance?

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      • LlamaPajamas

        LlamaPajamas April 25, 2014, 1:51 pm

        Of course!

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      • avatar

        No Pants April 25, 2014, 1:34 pm

        I think you are great just the way you are. Also, I physically can’t hold hands with He Pants when we’re walking so I win!

        And I won’t make Bethany feel stabby.

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      • avatar

        bethany April 25, 2014, 1:38 pm

        🙂

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      • avatar

        No Pants April 25, 2014, 1:58 pm

        I hope this makes up for being allergic to red wine. 😀

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary April 25, 2014, 1:24 pm

      We’re big on hand holding, but it’s probably our only form of PDA. My future MIL saw us hugging over christmas and she was like “awww I never see affection between you two” even though we’re really cuddly at home.

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    • honeybeenicki

      honeybeenicki April 25, 2014, 1:29 pm

      We’re kind of hand-holders. Not when we’re in a busy/crowded place, but if we’re just walking around the neighborhood or the mall or something we probably hold hands about half the time, maybe less. We also occasionally hold hands on the couch. And in bed, but that’s because I hate cuddling in bed, so it’s a form of physical contact when we’re going to sleep without too much.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 25, 2014, 1:33 pm

        I remember the first time we took a hand holding walk together I was so uncomfortable, just waiting to let go because my hand was getting sweaty, it made it hard to walk without looking drunk and our fingers don’t really fit together (you know when you do that puzzle finger hand holding, rather than the cup hand holding?). Plus, I walk too fast and it was annoying to consciously try to slow down.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson April 25, 2014, 1:30 pm

      I love people that hold hands while eating. It looks so awkward.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 25, 2014, 1:34 pm

        Peter does this across the table from each other double hand holding my one hand thing. Its awful and so embarrassing.

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    • mylaray

      mylaray April 25, 2014, 1:31 pm

      When we were buying a place, one of the apartments we were looking at the realtor said, “so, are you guys….siblings?” He had a hard time establishing what we were, it was weird that he would assume that because we weren’t all lovey dovey. So then we had a running joke to pack on as much PDA as we could handle while looking at places.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary April 25, 2014, 1:36 pm

        When we were ring shopping the jeweler asked if I was his “friend” helping him shop. So embarassing.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 25, 2014, 1:37 pm

        Better than asking ‘are you his mom’ though, right? 🙂

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      • mylaray

        mylaray April 25, 2014, 1:45 pm

        That is embarrassing. I’m surprised by how many people think it’s okay to ask about the relationship between two strangers like that. I’m in the south and it’s not often, but occasionally I come across someone who doesn’t think I can be married because we have different last names.

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle April 25, 2014, 1:33 pm

      haha now that I think about it we hold hands a lot, but not CONSTANT? like over dinner, we’ll hold hands for like a few seconds, but we won’t leave them like that. And we hold hands in the car, which obviously presents some problems for the person driving. I dunno, it’s a comfort thing, like playing with your own hair or stroking your own palm?

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      • rainbow

        rainbow April 25, 2014, 1:43 pm

        Like putting your hand inside your pants, palm over your butt, when you’re stressed!

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle April 25, 2014, 1:51 pm

        Substitute “hair” & “palm” for any body part, pretty much 😀 haha (no, but I do that too! Or just shove my hand between my legs. It’s not weird! NOT WEIRD.)

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      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki April 25, 2014, 2:23 pm

        We don’t usually hold hands in the car but occasionally have a hand on the other person’s leg (either one or both of us). We don’t even notice when we do it, but the kids do it and they think it’s soooooo sweet.

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      • LlamaPajamas

        LlamaPajamas April 25, 2014, 2:32 pm

        We do that, too! I’m affectionate, just not in public.

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    • GatorGirl

      GatorGirl April 25, 2014, 1:40 pm

      I love hand holding! Especially at the grocery store. GGuy hates it.

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      • avatar

        bethany April 25, 2014, 1:43 pm

        At the Grocery Store?!!? How is that even a thing? You have to steer a cart and put stuff in it. Both of which require hands.
        This situation is the only reason I’m glad you live in Florida 🙂

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      • GatorGirl

        GatorGirl April 25, 2014, 1:44 pm

        Haha. Well sometimes we run in just to grab beer or wine or garlic so that’s pretty easy. Plus our handholding is about 400000000 times less obnoxious than the undergrads just being stupid and in the way.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson April 25, 2014, 1:49 pm

        I love holding hands at the grocery store. It’s so adorably obnoxious. But I don’t know you’re surrounded by food and the possibility of a good meal and it’s just so romantic.

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      • Copa

        Copa April 25, 2014, 2:59 pm

        In my last relationship, we’d steer the cart together. We were THAT couple. Ha. We also held hands across the table in restaurants and sucked face everywhere we went. It was the first and only time I’ve ever been okay or wanted to act like that in public with a guy.

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    • rainbow

      rainbow April 25, 2014, 3:46 pm

      I don’t know exactly where to reply since this is on the conversation in general, but lately I’ve been noticing I haven’t been in love for so long that PDA (or even DA) has become something completely alien to me. I don’t know how to explain it, it’s like someone mentions something, like holding hands over the table while having dinner, and I go all “RIGHT! people do this when they are in love. FUCK that sounds so weird, did I really DO this? WHY?”
      It’s not that it bothers me or makes me jealous or sad, I actually like to see it when it’s not too much, but it seems so weird to me. Like a language I’ve never spoken. It’s like I can’t even remember the feeling of being attached to someone and demonstrating it in a physical way.

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  • avatar

    Em April 25, 2014, 4:39 pm

    Man, I wish they would put some of those posters up in my neighborhood in Philly. I’d like to be able to walk to the bank/grocery store/subway/corner store without having to have some interaction with some guy who thinks they need to tell me I’m beautiful, or ask if I have a boyfriend, or tell me that I shouldn’t look so angry. Bitch, maybe I got a reason to be angry, and maybe that reason is motherfuckers being all up in my shit while I’m just trying to get some beer and go home to unwind.

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