Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“Study: Men secretly feel terrible when the women they love succeed” [via Salon]

“Why I’m Still in the Polyamory Closet” [via Slate]

On navigating friendships with exes: “It’s Not Being Friends, It’s Being Friendly” [via Hello Giggles]

“The Pros and Cons of Living with a Significant Other” [via The Oatmeal]

“How Roommates Replaced Spouses in the 20th Century” [via The Atlantic]

“40 Days of Dating: would you go out (and have sex) with an old friend?” [via The Guardian]

“20 Things Men And Women Wish Their Significant Other Knew About Them” [via CBS]

“My Son Wears Dresses; Get Over It” [via The Atlantic]

“New research shows that worrying about money causes cognitive impairments.” [via Slate]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

33 comments… add one
  • avatar

    kerrycontrary September 6, 2013, 1:11 pm

    The CBS article kind of makes me want to roll my eyes. But I tend to have trouble with any article that says “All women want X and all men think like Y”

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      GatorGirl September 6, 2013, 1:15 pm

      Wow. That was written by a woman. WTF.

      Reply Link
    • Fabelle

      Fabelle September 6, 2013, 1:15 pm

      Ugh, yes. Just finished that one, & I rolled my eyes so hard. It seems like they tried to soften it with “most” but I honestly feel like even that’s inaccurate. These extreme gender behavior separations just really don’t exist in that capacity anymore, in my opinion?

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        kerrycontrary September 6, 2013, 1:28 pm

        I think there’s some behavior that is hardwired into our brains, but individuals are so unique that you just can’t apply these broad statements with accuracy unless you are backing it up with scientific fact like “most men’s brains light up when they see a naked woman, women’s brains light up when they see a man shaving”. Like, I don’t really want to have sex with my boyfriend when he’s holding a baby, am I the only one on that? I think the writer either got his advice from her mother/friends, or she made it all up.

        Link
    • avatar

      Christy September 6, 2013, 1:26 pm

      Yeah, gotta love the hardcore gender essentialism there.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      lemongrass September 6, 2013, 2:01 pm

      I couldn’t get past 3.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      HmC September 6, 2013, 2:17 pm

      Agree kerry, it’s chock full of generalizations and stereotypes. And sure some of them tend to be true (whether through inherent differences or socialization, who knows?), but do we really need another “haha women be like this men be like that” article?

      Reply Link
    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson September 6, 2013, 3:02 pm

      Haha sad I read it and definitely identified with most of it. I am a walking stereotype. Except withholding sex as punishment. That’s just awkward and perpetuates the idea that women “give” sex to me when they’re good boys because there’s no way they enjoy it on their own.

      Reply Link
    • avatar

      _s_ September 7, 2013, 10:55 am

      Ugh, glad it wasn’t just me. I couldn’t even finish reading that tripe.

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    GatorGirl September 6, 2013, 1:17 pm

    The living together thing made me almost cry with laughter. Especially the part about the cereal box…that’s my life this week.

    Reply Link
    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow September 6, 2013, 1:42 pm

      Haha. I liked the demon sleep-talking/farting combo.

      Reply Link
      • avatar

        GatorGirl September 6, 2013, 2:03 pm

        We’ve gotten in two “big fights” about the dumbest shit this week. One was me flipping the chicken on the grill and the other was him fiddling with the dirty dishes (which are my chore and I’m doing them when I get done work). Like, why are fighting about this shit?? It’s so f-ing stupid but I guess since we don’t have bigger stuff, we pick at stupid little things?

        (Also I talk in my sleep like, a lot.)

        Link
      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow September 6, 2013, 2:08 pm

        Well, duh, GG, there is only ONE right way to flip a chicken.

        I don’t think I talk in my sleep very often. I downloaded one of those sleep apps that will start recording once it hears a noise, and I neither snore nor talk. I do move a lot, though. One time I was having a sex dream and I woke up humping my body pillow. I’m glad no one was around to witness that…..although I just shared it with the internet. Oh, well.

        Link
      • avatar

        kerrycontrary September 6, 2013, 2:20 pm

        Sometimes we just have off weeks! My boyfriend and I were bickering like crazy on Sunday night. It happens to all of us.

        Link
      • Fabelle

        Fabelle September 6, 2013, 2:29 pm

        I’m glad I’m not the only one with “off weeks”— my boyfriend & I had a week recently of dumb fighting, one of which involved whether or not to throw out a pot boiling pasta that had a meal worm in it (I said yes, because those things disgust me, even though I’m pretty “whatever” normally if a bug or hair lands on my food? & he went the “there are starving people in Africa” route, which I was NOT expecting, & it just blew up. ugh)

        Link
      • avatar

        GatorGirl September 6, 2013, 2:33 pm

        Don’t you love when the “Nazi” card comes out? Haha. Some how me flipping the chicken was “undermining his man hood” and him rinsing a pot was a commentary on my poor house keeping skills. What?

        Link
      • theattack

        theattack September 6, 2013, 2:38 pm

        God, I hate those weeks, but I’m glad we’re not alone. The good news is that it can’t last more than a week or two, right?

        Link
      • avatar

        kerrycontrary September 6, 2013, 2:56 pm

        Unless you are in a horrible relationship. Then I think its like that all the time. Thankfully I don’t think any of the people in this discussion are haha

        Link
      • theattack

        theattack September 6, 2013, 3:56 pm

        haha, That’s true! But yeah, then you just have an off-relationship, not an off-week.

        Can I just brag about how good of a wife I am? I just got off work early and used my time to bring my husband a milkshake, and now I’m playing receptionist for him on my time off while he runs errands. I’m awesome.

        Link
      • katie

        katie September 6, 2013, 4:08 pm

        geez, all you gotta do is make milkshakes and answer the phone? id be a phenomenal wife…

        lol

        Link
      • theattack

        theattack September 6, 2013, 6:15 pm

        It’s even easier than that actually! Just buy the milkshake and you’re golden. I don’t understand why all these LWs have so many problems when most of them have $3 in their pockets.

        Link
    • Kate B.

      Kate B. September 6, 2013, 2:52 pm

      Personally, I would love to have a pciture of Wookie Jesus in my living room.

      Reply Link
      • Kate B.

        Kate B. September 6, 2013, 2:53 pm

        *picture*. I got excited.

        Link
  • othy

    othy September 6, 2013, 1:52 pm

    I love the Oatmeal. That is all.

    Reply Link
  • mylaray

    mylaray September 6, 2013, 1:56 pm

    The pros and cons of living together was hilarious. We recently started living together and have been having, uh, transitions. It’s mostly harmless, but the car is out of the bag on the things I tend to splurge on.

    I also thought the article about roommates and spouses really interesting. On a similar note, my fiancé and I are so used to living with roommates, that when we bought a place, we wanted his best friend to move in too, at least for a few years. We’re not used to having an empty house, and even though I did live alone for awhile, I hated it. So far, things have been great and I like how we always have someone to hang out with, especially since all 3 of us have work schedules that don’t overlap a lot, so choosing who to spend time with isn’t an issue. I think living arrangements have really changed, and though some people think it’s odd we do this, it’s been a lot of fun and I feel like we are more social because of it.

    And that article about the son who wears dresses made me tear up. I wish everyone could have a dad so involved like that (and I wish I did).

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Emsz September 6, 2013, 2:08 pm

    I loved the article about the dress-wearing son.

    Reply Link
  • avatar

    Morgan September 6, 2013, 3:35 pm

    That oatmeal comic was so real.

    Especially the towels. My boyfriend hoards towels. I don’t even know how he does it, but its so freaking annoying. Also he cannot close cabinet doors to save his life. Just needed to get that out.

    Reply Link
    • Miss MJ

      Miss MJ September 6, 2013, 3:50 pm

      Oh my god, on the cabinet doors. Neither can Mr. MJ. Or drawers, especially the dresser drawers in the bedroom. So, I run into the damned things at night when I’m going to the bathroom in the dark because I’m not expecting the dresser to be two feet further out than it is! And I’m OCD about keeping things neat, so seeing the cabinets and drawers open drives. me. nuts. I follow him around the kitchen closing things without realizing it. That drives him nuts. We may have had those ridiculous fights about it in the past. They changed nothing.

      On, and also, for years, he’d use a paper towel to dry his hands after washing, then just lay it on the counter instead of throwing it away just in case I wanted to use it later. What!? Of course I don’t want to reuse his dirty paper towel! I won that one. Now he just uses a regular kitchen towel. That he then lays out on the counter. Success?

      Reply Link
      • Fabelle

        Fabelle September 6, 2013, 3:55 pm

        Oh shit, I’m totally Mr. MJ. Down to the paper towel thing (because, I dunno, if a towel just wiped water off my hands, it’s still clean right? You can use it to wipe down a counter, or dry off some fruit…? I don’t know 🙁 )

        Link
      • Miss MJ

        Miss MJ September 6, 2013, 4:58 pm

        Noooooooo!!!!

        Link
      • avatar

        GatorGirl September 6, 2013, 4:25 pm

        My mom does the paper towel thing and it drive me BONKERS. Thank goodness I don’t live with her. I couldn’t handle it.

        Link
  • avatar

    Guy Friday September 6, 2013, 7:21 pm

    I don’t know where the guys in the study that Salon article talks about are coming from, but count me excluded. I love seeing my wife succeed; when she got semi-promoted (different department, slightly nicer title, but mostly lateral) right before our wedding, I bragged about it to everyone I knew. Hell, I STILL joke that she’s much better than me and I’m a mooch. What reasonable guy feels threatened by their significant other’s success?

    Also, I call BS on how they’re defining “success” here. Happiness needs to be considered an achievement as much as being smart or a job title or making money is. I took less money upfront to work longer hours at my dream job, and I guarantee you I’m happier than my wife is at her job (which isn’t to say she’s unhappy; I’m just SUPER happy), and she doesn’t feel threatened by that. Why would she? When I win, she wins, and vice versa. We’re a team; that’s what relationships are supposed to be, right?

    Reply Link
    • avatar

      rachel September 7, 2013, 11:32 am

      I always take studies like this with a grain of salt, because I think it’s hard to write questions that aren’t leading. Or, there are just a lot of jerks out there. Could be either, I suppose.

      Reply Link

Leave a Comment