Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

divorce-rate

“The Divorce Rate Is Much Lower Than You Think” [via Women’s Health]

My second HuffPo piece is up. It’s one you’ve seen before, but I’m sharing the link in case you’d like to pass it along (I’ve found that people who may not want to “out” themselves as DW readers don’t share links as readily as they might for a site where they maybe aren’t as personally invested, so sharing my content when it’s posted elsewhere could be a way to support the site without giving away your DW secret).

“I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity and I Wish I Hadn’t” [via xojane]

Does earning less than your male significant other make you a bad feminist? “I Feel Guilty for Not Being the Breadwinner” [via Dame Magazine]

“10 Everyday Sexisms and What Do You Do About Them” [via HuffPo]

I could go seven hours (maybe even while I’m awake!), but seven day? Hmmm…“I Went 7 Days Without Complaining” [via NYMag]

[image via Women’s Health]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

Follow along on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

23 comments… add one
  • mandalee

    mandalee August 8, 2014, 2:01 pm

    Wendy just wanted to let you know that I say 3 different friends on Facebook sharing your HuffPo link! I was so excited when I clicked on it and saw it was yours.

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      scattol August 8, 2014, 2:21 pm

      Is that a lot of likes and shares or are these numbers common on HuffPo? I mean they look big but are they?

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy August 8, 2014, 3:34 pm

        I’m honestly not sure, but I think this particular post has been shared a lot even by HuffPo standards.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy August 8, 2014, 3:33 pm

      So cool!

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    • Lianne

      Lianne August 8, 2014, 3:50 pm

      My fiance saw it on HuffPost today and sent me the link (he knows I love DW)…so cool!!!

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray August 8, 2014, 4:23 pm

        super cool!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy August 8, 2014, 4:28 pm

        People like this list for some reason. It was shared on FB almost 30K times when PopSugar posted it a few weeks ago and now it’s been shared over 16K times through HuffPo. Just goes to show what a big platform can do. When I posted in on DW back in June, it was shared 20 times on Fb, ha!

        I am hoping to start posting some of my columns in HuffPo soon — keep your fingers crossed for me that that works out — and with luck, that exposure will bring some good letters my way, which will benefit us all!

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom August 10, 2014, 5:15 pm

        Congratulations on working hard behind the scenes to get DW picked up by sites like PopSugar and HuffPo!

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy August 10, 2014, 6:49 pm

        Thank you!

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    • avatar

      ktfran August 11, 2014, 9:48 am

      I was out on Friday and mostly internet free then and over the weekend. I was too busy having fun to bother with it. Anyway, I’m glancing over everything today and those HuffPo commenters are CRAZY!!!!
      .
      I so, so like the community here.

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  • avatar

    SummerRose August 8, 2014, 2:21 pm

    Reason number 1 on the “10 Sexisms” article is precisely why I don’t subscribe to any organized religion.

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      lindsaybob August 8, 2014, 3:13 pm

      Some religions are better than others on this issue. The Church of England has just changed their position and now allows women to become bishops (having allowed them to be vicars for quite some time – I don’t know the dates). Obviously it’s ridiculous that it’s only happening now, but I think it’s encouraging that we are taking steps to come closer to equality.

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      • Portia

        Portia August 8, 2014, 4:42 pm

        It does differ slightly in different areas of religion and just specific communities. For instance, the temple I belonged to growing up had a female rabbi (and an out gay rabbi with a non-jewish partner). Of course it was pretty clear at the time that our temple was the exception, not the rule. Not having many similar options might be part of why I haven’t really found a temple to join since…

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    • Cassie

      Cassie August 8, 2014, 8:50 pm

      The example for reason 6 was wrong. The regular pens at $6.40 for a pack of 10 comes to $0.64 per pen. The ‘For Her’ pens at $10.14 for a pack of 16 comes to $0.63 per pen, which means people are paying less for the pens being promoted to women. (Of course, it is more likely the reason is because it is being bought in bulk compared to the 10 pack.) But basically that article against sexism is just being sexist for thinking we women can’t do the math and look at the facts, and instead will be swayed by our emotions upon hearing we’re paying more for things.

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    lindsaybob August 8, 2014, 3:11 pm

    I found the divorce rate article really encouraging. It’s lovely to hear that actually there are fewer divorces and more happily married couples than we think. My husband and I have been having a bit of a rough time lately – nowhere near divorce, but struggling a little – and I kept catching myself thinking that it was probably inevitable that we’d end up divorced someday, because so many people do. It really makes me feel better and more hopeful to know that actually more people stay (happily) married than I thought!

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    Simonthegrey August 8, 2014, 5:43 pm

    That piece on not being the female breadwinner is the biggest piece of navel gazing crap I have read in a long time. Right now I am the breadwinner in our relationship, but I anticipate it will go back and forth over our marriage.

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  • Lyra

    Lyra August 8, 2014, 7:08 pm

    I’ll bite on the virginity one. I made that choice too, but I’ve been making every effort to be as sex positive as possible. I do not think the church brainwashed me. It was a choice I made as a teenager and a choice I still value to this day. I totally understand the guilty feeling she mentions in the article, but I DEFINITELY think this is an extreme circumstance. I have a good number of close friends who made the same choice as me and now that some are married no one seems to regret their choice. There was a definite learning curve, as I expect I will encounter (y’all will help me out with my stupid sex questions right?), but my gut tells me there’s something more going on in this scenario that isn’t related to the church.

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    • Lyra

      Lyra August 8, 2014, 7:10 pm

      Also my ex was ridiculously vocal about the fact that he was a “virgin” (despite having done everything besides p in v). It was honestly disgusting. I don’t advertise my choice to many people and when I had to work with him last summer at our camp he was telling basically the whole staff that he was a virgin because he was so proud of it. It was the weirdest thing.

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    • avatar

      Wendy (not Wendy) August 9, 2014, 1:17 am

      On the other hand, I’ve heard the same story as told in the column (on a spectrum of extremeness) from many women. This one doesn’t sound like she has vaginismus, but it’s one of the stories I hear most often from women who do. I can definitely believe this is church-related–the messages aren’t going to hit every woman the same way.

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      • Lyra

        Lyra August 9, 2014, 1:01 pm

        She did say that she’s Baptist I believe? And I could definitely see the Baptist religion taking this a bit to the extreme so I’m sure it did play a factor. My main point was that not all religions would take it to this extreme.

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom August 10, 2014, 5:12 pm

      I think the thing that caused her the problem was that her virginity became her identity. It was what she was good at and acknowledged for and so when she was no longer a virgin she lost that one thing that gave her pride and a positive self-image.

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