Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

lead

A key to happiness? “Buy Experiences, Not Things” [via The Atlantic]

“An Unnatural Birth: In Praise of the Caesarean Section” [via Jezebel]

“Social Media and the Limits of Friendship” [via The New Yorker]

“A Point of View: Why short men make better husbands” [via BBC News]

“It Doesn’t Have to Be Rape to Suck” [via The Cut]

“Jennifer Lawrence Calls Photo Hacking a ‘Sex Crime'” [via Vanity Fair]

[image via]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web that you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

Follow along on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

58 comments… add one
  • avatar

    csp October 10, 2014, 1:20 pm

    I love the C Section article. It bugs me to no end when people look down on the c section. I am sorry but the fatality rate was 1-2% per birth! So if you had 8 kids, you had a 16% chance of dying in childbirth. total numbers were 1 in 8. Now it is one in a thousand. People give it such a hard time and the woman in the article would have died 100 years ago and now has a beautiful baby instead.

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    • avatar

      Wendy (not Wendy) October 10, 2014, 1:28 pm

      The improvement in perinatal mortality is hardly due to an increase in C-sections. Unfortunately women sometimes feel less-than for having to have a c-section, which is terrible. Occasionally c-sections are necessary and it’s wonderful that they can be done. But there’s a reason people “look down on c-sections”. They increase complications (of many different kinds) and increase cost.

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      • avatar

        Muffy October 10, 2014, 2:04 pm

        What complications do they increase? You may be referring to the fact that often times c-section are performed early because of some sort of problem with the baby – meaning the complications are already present. But if they are born by c-section on time (or close to it) I don’t see what additional benefits being squeezed through a hole provides the baby.

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      • Ika

        Ika October 10, 2014, 2:09 pm

        Among others, being “squeezed hrough a hole” hels the baby´s immune system, and lowers the risk of respiratory problems.

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      • avatar

        Wendy (not Wendy) October 10, 2014, 2:18 pm

        Thanks, Ika–Muffy’s way of putting it, being squeezed through a hole, is actually perfect! And since we’re mostly talking about maternal complications–those are probably pretty apparent, but there’s a risk with any kind of surgery (largely with infection), and though the woman in the article kind of tosses off that she was “healed” in a few days, that isn’t accurate–depending on the kind of c-section it takes several weeks to heal, as with any abdominal surgery. Women who have just had abdominal surgery are not in an ideal place to initiate and sustain breastfeeding (though many do it, which is great! and yes, babies aren’t going to die from formula feeding, but the benefits of breastfeeding, when possible and desired by mother, for both mother and baby are pretty well documented).

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      • avatar

        csp October 10, 2014, 2:18 pm

        But those are based on healthy, normal pregnancies. That is like saying that breastfeeding is better and assuming that all orphans are just screwed for the rest of their lives because they are formula fed.

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      • avatar

        Wendy (not Wendy) October 10, 2014, 2:29 pm

        I think you’re not reading any of the other comments here thoroughly, since you’re claiming that both Ika and I have made arguments we haven’t made. I know what I’m talking about here. Leaving the discussion.

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      • avatar

        Muffy October 10, 2014, 2:27 pm

        Look, I just think that there is no reason to feel sorry for women who had to have a c-section. I thought your responses sounded just like those of the group the article author was in – pity. It’s a healthy baby. Yes, there MAY be certain complications for the mother, but at least the one added benefit is your vagina doesn’t get all loosey-goosey from being stretched. You can pity her if she does actually develop a complication.
        I think every live birth story is a happy one . And to somehow pity a woman because she MAY have extra complications dampens that happiness and contributes to this idea that some women despite giving birth, didn’t really give birth. It’s the same thing with the breast feeding vs. formula crowd. Who cares, baby’s fine, it’s happy. And I don’t buy that whole compromised immune system because it didn’t have the birth canal. There are plenty of c-section babies who are healthier than non-c-section babies. And furthermore, does the evidence show the immune system is stronger for life, or for just the few weeks outside of the womb, does it even out through breast feeding, vaccines?

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      • Ika

        Ika October 10, 2014, 2:32 pm

        I had 2 natural births of big babies, and my vagina i ust fine. It´s elastic for jebus´ sake.
        And the respiratory thing is due to the pressure from the birth canal helping to expel amniotic fluid, etc. (as expained in the link).Not allergies.

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      • avatar

        Muffy October 10, 2014, 2:38 pm

        I don’t have asthma from allergies. I have asthma to begin with. I was trying to point out that even vaginally born children get respiratory complications later in life despite a vaginal birth.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom October 11, 2014, 5:56 pm

        Mine too. Not at all stretched out of shape. It’s actually like it was designed for giving birth.

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      • avatar

        RedroverRedrover October 11, 2014, 8:37 pm

        I have two friends who have had c-sections. One chose to have it. There were no medical reasons, that’s just what she preferred. I didn’t feel sorry for her at all, why would I? She got what she wanted.
        .
        My other friend, she didn’t want a c-section. She had to because the baby’s blood pressure dropped. She had what the article described as the “hell scenario”, where she laboured and then ended up needing a c-section anyway. So yeah, I feel sorry for her. That’s not a great way to go through it. Especially because she really didn’t want a c-section. I don’t feel sorry for her because I think c-sections are bad, I feel sorry for her because she didn’t get what she wanted. She was able to have a vaginal birth for her second and she was really happy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with commiserating with a friend who had to have major surgery unexpectedly.
        .
        And if I had needed a c-section, I’d be sad about it. Because yeah, I’m messed up about surgery. It scares the hell out of me, and I don’t want to be cut into. Even afterwards it would freak me out to think about it. I’m so glad I didn’t need one. I feel the same way about epidurals. It just freaks me out to think of it going into my spine. I’d rather feel the birth pain than have that big needle in my spine, seriously. And I’m speaking as someone who was pretty scared of childbirth.

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      • avatar

        Muffy October 10, 2014, 2:29 pm

        Also, I have asthma and airborne allergies (dust, pet dander). My siblings who were born c-section do not. I get bronchitis more often due to that and had pneumonia once.

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      • call-me-hobo

        call-me-hobo October 10, 2014, 2:43 pm

        Muffy, one of the first things they teach you in healthcare is that correlation does not imply causation.

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      • avatar

        Muffy October 10, 2014, 2:52 pm

        Thank you, I know that. I have a Bsc. However, I do not agree with the shaming of women who have c-sections and making them feel bad for it. I was pointing out the fact that c-section babies can be just as healthy (or not as healthy) as vaginally birthed babies.

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      • avatar

        Muffy October 10, 2014, 2:53 pm

        It’s like people were outraged by the fact that the woman in the article has not had complications from her c-section and actually thought it was great.

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      • call-me-hobo

        call-me-hobo October 10, 2014, 4:29 pm

        It’s like you’re outraged that people have said that some (not all!) c-sections are unecessary.

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      • avatar

        csp October 10, 2014, 2:16 pm

        Its hardly due? really? The woman who wrote this article had a breech, backwards baby. Without a c section, what would have happened to her? Seriously undo risk. Humans have the most painful, most dangerous childbirth in the animal kingdom. Natural doesn’t mean better. Our medical care is so good, that people turn on it. Now, I am not saying that c-sections are good all the time. But to decry a life saving medical procedure seems short sited. It is like not vaccinating your kids because you believe in natural immunity when 20% of kids used to be dead before age 5.

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      • avatar

        Wendy (not Wendy) October 10, 2014, 2:23 pm

        No, it is not anything like that. The risks of c-section are scientifically based. Our medical care in the US is good but it is better in many parts of the world. Our infant mortality rate is poor compared to most first-world countries.

        As I clearly wrote, I don’t “decry a lifesaving procedure”. But our rate of c-section is too high and the improvement in maternal mortality rates is only partly due to increased c-sections, as evidenced by similar (or better) decreases in maternal mortality in countries with far lower c-section rates.

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    • Ika

      Ika October 10, 2014, 1:39 pm

      My problem with C sections is that they are wayyy too over used. My country has one of the highest rates ot hem and a lot of cases are because the mother is too scared of vaginal birth I know several cases likethat) ,or the dr considers the baby is too big.Like the general recommendation some drs go by is over 3.6 kg, they go to c section. The day before my eldest was born the scan gave her weight as exactly 3.6. My OB (who I loved) asked if I would prefer C section. I was more scared of that than vaginal haha. She ended up weighing 4.15 kg, and the birth was great (2 hours, mostly painless). So if he had pressured me I would have had an unnecessary medical procedure.
      Of course there are many cases where either baby or mother (or both) have their lives saved by the c section (I also know a couple of cases like that). But that doesn´t change the fact that it i far too overused. Of course the fact that doctors can charge more for a c section versus a vaginal birth has NOTHING to do wth it, I´m sure.

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      • avatar

        csp October 10, 2014, 2:26 pm

        So first, in this article, it wasn’t a fear thing or the random example of a woman trying to squeeze childbirth into her vacation schedule. But to argue something is overused and therefore, you should shame a mom for getting one is messed up. Instead of women doing this to each other, they should just assume that the conversation between the woman and the doctor was the right one.

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      • Ika

        Ika October 10, 2014, 2:29 pm

        Who said anyone should be shamed for getting a C section? To be honest I wrote my comment before reading the article. But after reading your comment.
        Of course every mother should do what is right for her and her child. But honestly? for me the fact that so many women DO get C sections for convenience or to not mess up their genitals or whatever is the mesed up part.

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      • avatar

        RedroverRedrover October 11, 2014, 8:41 pm

        3.6kg? That’s barely above average! I agree that it’s strange to recommend c-section based just on that. Not to mention that they can’t even accurately measure the baby’s weight. They can be off by a pound or more.
        .
        I do know one woman who has had two babies, both over 10 pounds, and she’s tiny. She’s like 5’1″ and slim. She had both babies by c-section and I would guess it was recommended to her. In that case, it makes sense. But an average woman with a slightly above average baby seems like overkill to automatically recommend it.

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    • Ika

      Ika October 10, 2014, 1:43 pm

      Oh and like Wendy (not Wendy) said, C sections aren´t the sole reason for the decrease in maternal deaths. I mean they´ve been around since the ancient Romans. Better pre and perinatal care, better diet, hygiene, and the use of sterile medical instruments have a lot more to do with it.

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    • avatar

      Firestar October 10, 2014, 2:01 pm

      Yep. I had an emergency C-section after developing acute onset preeclampsia and my daughter was born early at 3 pounds 3 ounces. Without medical intervention via the C-section we would have both been dead. Colour me a fan.

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    • FireStar

      FireStar October 10, 2014, 2:51 pm

      Not sure why my earlier post didn’t show but I’m a fan of medical advancements and I agree with the author that being a fan of natural is great…if natural doesn’t want you dead. Without a C-Section both my daughter and I would have died. I didn’t even realise this was a thing among mothers. Vaginal birth vs. C-section? Who cares? The children are no less here one way vs. another. It seems like every possible divergence of choice when it comes to having kids is a battle field for a mommy war. Exhausting.

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    • Classic

      Classic October 10, 2014, 7:17 pm

      Yay csp. I had a c-section in order to get my son out of me 23 years ago. I had been in labor for 42 hours and there was fetal distress, but the hospital was reluctant to choose a C-Section on their own, due to external influences. At that point,I told the doctor that I thought it was time for a C-section and he said “Yes. We’ve given it the college try” and then I was cut open and my wonderful son was born. My cervix had only dilated one centimeter after 42 hours of labor. I often think about the fact that, in olden days, both my son and I would have died in these circumstances.

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  • avatar

    Wendy (not Wendy) October 10, 2014, 1:34 pm

    (Also, it’s unlikely the woman in the article would have died, based on what she says–there may be more to the story than we know, which is fine. Breech babies were and are born healthy to healthy mothers all the time. I don’t have a problem with routine c-sections for breech babies, but it’s certainly not a death sentence!)

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    • avatar

      Muffy October 10, 2014, 2:32 pm

      Thank you doctor You’re right – she’s wrong because she listened to her other doctor -she should have just had the breech baby naturally. She should be pitied.

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  • avatar

    Wendy (not Wendy) October 10, 2014, 2:37 pm

    What the hell? Did you read where I said, clearly, “I don’t have a problem with routine c-sections for breech babies”? I do not pity this woman, except for the fact that other women apparently make her feel bad about her c-section. I have not said a word of pity. I simply responded to csp’s non-factual statement that this woman would have died without a c-section (barring other information she didn’t give, which is her right; she didn’t write that for us to try to decide whether her c-section was “justified”). I am a medical professional. I would not, and did not, presume to say that this woman or her doctor were wrong because she had a c-section.

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    • avatar

      Muffy October 10, 2014, 2:48 pm

      You diagnosed the situation after the fact over the internet saying she likely would have been fine had she had a natural birth with a breech baby! Implying that she was wrong to go forward with a c-section after talking to her doctor who was actually there. Geez, why can’t people just be happy for others for having a baby instead of harping on the fact that they may suffer from some complications that you don’t know yet if they will end up suffering from them. Who cares if a woman chooses to not give birth the vaginal way? Li’ve birth stories should be celebrated – not dampened by extra scientific facts that may or may not come to light.

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  • cmary

    cmary October 10, 2014, 2:38 pm

    I really appreciated the c-section article. I’m pregnant and due in early December and am planning on a c-section. I have a condition that could be worsened by vaginal delivery and will gladly opt for controlled surgery to have this baby, over possible emergency surgery after a vaginal delivery plus years of recovery. Plus, pushing a baby out of my vagina does not sound like a good time. Call me whatever you want. I’m glad medicine has come far enough that I can make that decision.
    .
    Everyone loves to talk about women making choices about their own bodies, right? Why should this be any different?

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  • Jill

    Jill October 10, 2014, 2:38 pm

    I totally agree with the Buy Experience, not Things concept. The other day Jack and I were just talking about what we’ve spent the most money on over the last 4 years, and after coming up with a list, he said that a lot of other people would consider that we just threw all that money away. But we have been on amazing trips that I sure wouldn’t trade for a big screen TV.

    We also have been trying to use this strategy for gift buying. Because we both have everything we need (I mean granted, I always WANT things, but that’s a different story), getting a gift of tickets for example is a lot more fun.

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    • othy

      othy October 10, 2014, 2:49 pm

      My favorite bonus I’ve ever gotten was a bonus at my first real job out of college. After I got my 2 year certification, I got a trip to Hawaii. The trip was such a blast, and I enjoyed it so much. If I had gotten a dollar equivalent for it, it likely would have gone into my savings account for a ‘rainy day.’ I can’t imagine splurging on a trip like that, no matter how much I enjoyed it.

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    • avatar

      K October 10, 2014, 3:44 pm

      Totally agree. I get so excited when planning vacations and such, that overall, between leading up to it and the actual experience, it’s better than any material purchase. And my college social psychology professor is mentioned in the article!

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  • Dear Wendy

    Dear Wendy October 10, 2014, 2:45 pm

    I thought the c-section essay was super interesting because almost every single woman I know who has had a c-section wishes she’d had a different experience. I think a big part of that is because they labored for so long before the c-section, and there must be some disappointment in working so hard for something (a vaginal birth) and not getting it. I do have one friend who recently had a schedule c-section because her baby was breeched. Her first baby was also delivered via a c-section, but only after she labored for over 36 hours. I know she wanted to have a VBAC with her second and was disappointed when she realized that wouldn’t be an option, but I am curious to talk to her now that it’s done and see what her experience and feelings are regarding a scheduled c-section vs. her first experience (the baby was born a few weeks ago and I haven’t seen her yet, but I think I will this weekend).
    .
    Personally, I hated my vaginal labor intensely (I found it painful beyond comprehension) and sometimes wonder if a c-section would have been less traumatic for me. I wouldn’t, like, schedule or have a c-section if i didn’t need one, but I just wonder if I had to have one how the experience would compare to what I went through with Jackson. I also wonder how a medicated vaginal birth would compare to the natural birth I had with jack (I didn’t want natural; i very much wanted painkillers, but there wasn’t enough time to get an epidural). In the end though, as long as both baby and mom are healthy, everything else is just a story to tell.

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    • FireStar

      FireStar October 10, 2014, 2:58 pm

      I’m happy with my C-section. It was an emergency so not planned but the part I was happiest about was that the trauma to the baby was significantly reduced – important in my case since munchkin was little.
      My friend had a scheduled C-Section too (because of a medical condition)and all but gushed about it. Your recovery time is longer but the procedure itself is pretty quick and painless and like I said the stress to the baby minimal.

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    • avatar

      RedroverRedrover October 11, 2014, 10:28 pm

      Wendy, if you end up having a second one and you opt to try vaginal birth again, I’d recommend checking out hypno-birthing. I posted a comment further down with more details. I had a really good (and painless) experience with it.

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      • Dear Wendy

        Dear Wendy October 12, 2014, 5:12 am

        It sounds interesting and I’m not opposed to it, i just… I just am really set on being medicated to the max if I have a second baby. I do want to take some sort of pain management course ahead of time incase I’m not able to get an epidural again. But if I can have one, I want one! I want everything that is offered to me to help manage the pain. I appreciate that for some women, labor isn’t that painful (my mom says it was no big deal for her), but I really thought I would die from the pain (and in the moment, I wanted to, if only for the relief). It’s hard to imagine that relaxation techniques alone would help significantly, but I’m certainly open to adding them as a supplement (and learning some in case they’re all I can use).

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      • avatar

        RedroverRedrover October 12, 2014, 10:42 am

        Awwww, sorry to hear it was so tough for you! Yeah, I totally understand.

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    • avatar

      Kalu October 12, 2014, 12:25 am

      I had an epidural (3 times) and for me that’s some good shit! The second 2 times I was on their asses to get it done in time because I can’t take the pain. The first time I couldn’t stop vomitting from the pain, I initially didn’t plan to have the epidural and my husband was against it. I think I would have passed out from the pain without it. However I’m still curious about a natural birth. Maybe if I get into better shape and learn Lamaze (and we want and are blessed with a #4) I can experience it one day.

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  • Addie Pray

    Addie Pray October 10, 2014, 3:02 pm

    How is it Friday already? It feels like just yesterday I was eating all the bagels and all the cream cheese the morning after our NYC meetup. … The week has gone by quickly.
    *
    Re: the vaginal v. c-section article – which, ok, confession, I haven’t read, but I’ve read most of your comments about it. I have one friend that had a vaginal birth and then a c-section for her second baby. She said the vaginal birth was way more painful – in the moment – but that it was much much much easier to recover. With the c-section, she said it was most painful for several weeks. Which makes sense. It’s surgery, after all.
    *
    Ok, I’ll stop commenting on shit I know nothing about. Though that’s never stopped me before, I guess.
    *
    In other news, my work crush said I looked really nice today. SCORE!!!!!!!!!!! He has a girlfriend, le sigh.

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    • Addie Pray

      Addie Pray October 10, 2014, 3:47 pm

      Oh hey funny story. When I was 28 or so I dated a 42-or so year old (eww, he was an old 42 year old and I was like 12, maturity-wise). Anyway, we were making out and he was, I don’t know what he was doing – talking dirty-ish? He was kissing me and telling me all the places he was going to kiss me? Something like that. And in the laundry list of places he was going to plant his sweet lips, he mentioned my c-section baby scar. And I was like “wait, what? I have no kids, I think you think I’m someone else.” Oy. I don’t know why I’m telling this story. I’m going back to work.

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 10, 2014, 3:49 pm

        I guess “dirty” talk is not what that was. “Sexy” talk? “Strategic planning” talk?

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      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki October 10, 2014, 3:58 pm

        I think it was probably “strategic planning” talk.

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      • Portia

        Portia October 10, 2014, 4:05 pm

        Hahahahahaha! That’s a fantastic story Addie, thanks for the laugh, I needed it. [And people were getting a little riled up top, it was getting a little too serious for me today…]

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 10, 2014, 5:20 pm

        [What’s the fight about up there? I need a summary.]

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      • Portia

        Portia October 10, 2014, 6:51 pm

        [From I can gather some people are against medically-unnecessary C-sections, and some don’t see there being as much of a benefit to natural birth. And everyone was defending their own choices. I stopped reading when allergies and anti-vaxxers were mentioned.]

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      • Portia

        Portia October 10, 2014, 6:53 pm

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 10, 2014, 6:55 pm

        [oh. i blindly support whatever jk says. now you gotta pick someone to side with without even looking. fun game right?]

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      • Portia

        Portia October 10, 2014, 7:14 pm

        [Uhhhhh…. I side with Wendy? But really, I side with science. Also I have absolutely no idea what happened to my other comment]

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      • Addie Pray

        Addie Pray October 10, 2014, 7:30 pm

        [ok, I side with science too, then JK/Wendy tied. Isn’t it so cool how we can talk just you and me and no one can hear us inside these brackets? I’m currently waiting for a bus to a boat that takes off in 31 minutes with or without me… Eeek!!]

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      • Portia

        Portia October 10, 2014, 8:17 pm

        [Yeah, they’re totally not listening. And if we both vote science, then really it wins and everyone’s happy. Although it’s not really science, it’s SCIENCE! like Bill Nye type science. Have fun on your boat! Although you’re probably already on it…]

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      • Portia

        Portia October 11, 2014, 9:53 pm

        [After actually reading some of them, I’m totally changing my answer to RedRover. Best answer. Also, childbirth is terrifying, no matter which way you slice it. Or don’t slice it if you don’t want a c-section?]

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      RedroverRedrover October 11, 2014, 8:51 pm

      Just for comparison, I had a vaginal birth but I needed an episiotomy because my baby was so big. Do not recommend. I mean, obviously if you need one to get the baby out, get one. But if it’s totally optional just to get the birth over a bit faster, I wouldn’t do it. It took a long time to recover (almost 3 weeks) and it was extremely painful. Way more painful than childbirth. It seems to be much worse than tearing, based on comparing notes with a friend who had third degree tears. I remember afterwards when I’d see new moms out on the street and I’d ask how old the baby was, they’d say one week or two weeks. I couldn’t believe it. At 1-2 weeks I could barely walk, let alone be out and about.

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      • Portia

        Portia October 11, 2014, 9:48 pm

        Ouch! None of these stories are making childbirth any more appealing…

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      • avatar

        RedroverRedrover October 11, 2014, 10:23 pm

        I said this above but my comment looks like it got eaten… if it shows up somewhere then sorry everyone for repeating myself…
        .
        I highly recommend something called hypno-birthing. It sounds like new-agey mumbo-jumbo, but all it does is teach you techniques for keeping your muscles relaxed during childbirth. Essentially, the only muscles that should be tensing are your uterine muscles during contractions. Everything else should ideally be loose, so that you can open up and let the baby pass easily. If you’re relaxed, your muscles are relaxed. If you’re scared, your muscles are tight and you impede the baby coming out.
        .
        I took this course because I was terrified, seriously. I was way more scared of surgery than of vaginal birth, so elective c-section was out, but I was still pretty damn scared of vaginal birth. The hypno-birthing course has you spend weeks/months practicing relaxation techniques. It mentally prepares you, plus it gets your body into the habit of completely relaxing, until you can do it on command. Even if you don’t get to that point (I didn’t), any extra relaxation of the muscles will help.
        .
        I can honestly say it was painless for me, until afterwards. The sewing up and healing were definitely painful, but I had a 10lb baby, so it wasn’t an average case. During the birth, painless. I felt intense pressure, and I felt exhausted because he was crowned for almost 3 hours and wouldn’t come out. But overall my experience was very good. I still look back on it fondly. And I’m an engineer, I’m way into science, I don’t go for hippie/crunchy/whatever you want to call it. I don’t mean that to be insulting to anyone who does, it’s just not what I’m into. But hypno-birthing makes logical, scientific sense, which is what appealed to me. I just ignored all the lovey-dovey, your-body-is-a-miracle type stuff which I don’t like.
        .
        Anyway, I’m not involved with hypno-birthing in any way, I don’t make money off it or anything, that was just my experience with it. I don’t know anyone else who’s tried it, but from my friends’ stories, I had a way better experience than them. My doctor and nurses couldn’t believe I was having my first baby, I was so calm. I felt no need for drugs at any time. I did take pitocin after the birth to make the placenta come faster, so you can see I’m not anti-drug. I just really didn’t need them. I’d recommend it to anyone. And maybe I’m just lucky and I would have had a painless birth anyway, who knows. But there’s no harm in trying it out, since most people take a birthing class anyway.

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      • Portia

        Portia October 12, 2014, 2:30 pm

        I’m not gonna lie, it does sound a little out there. But if it works, it works, and I’m not going to knock it. Personally, I’m a little nervous taking heavy painkillers because I don’t react well to them (if you ever want to hear the worst wisdom tooth removal recovery story, I’ve got a doozy). I have nothing against medication and if given the option would gladly take it, but I’d rather not go through all that again on top of recovering from surgery or whatever…

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