Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“Billy On The Street with David Letterman.” Because I love Billy Eichner and I love David Letterman. [via Funny or Die]

And here’s one of the reasons I love Letterman. [via Talking Points Memo]

“The Sexually Conservative Millennial: Nearly 40 percent of millennials think random hookups are morally wrong” [via The Atlantic]

“You Actually Owe All Your Relationship Success to Your Siblings” [via Connections.Mic]

“The future of loneliness: As we moved our lives online, the internet promised an end to isolation. But can we find real intimacy amid shifting identities and permanent surveillance?” [via Guardian]

“This Image Is Raising an Important Discussion About Women” [via PopSugar Love]

In light of this forum thread: “There’s a Modern Affliction Ruining Our Friendships — And We’re All Guilty of It” [via Connections.Mic]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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21 comments… add one
  • Cassie

    Cassie April 3, 2015, 12:48 pm

    People flaking out is one of the things I can’t stand. I’m fine if it happens a couple of times, I’m fine if people are actually sick (I don’t consider that flaking), or even if someone has to reschedule and gives enough advance notice (a day before even would be nice, more than that is great, but the morning of I can still deal with if it’s occasionally). But, if it becomes a pattern, I get upset and consider if it’s a friendship worth keeping. I’ve done a slow fade with a few people who were flaky, and one whose friendship I treasured a lot I addressed it with her about how it bothered me and she’s not done it to me since. It’s interesting to read an article, though, about how it is becoming almost a social norm.

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  • avatar

    booknerd April 3, 2015, 1:02 pm

    Great links! I agree about the flaking thing. As far as friends and lovers, if people want to be in your life, they will be, right? They’ll make an effort. That’s something I have to keep telling myself. And to keep it in mind in regards to people I hold dear. And it’s extra hard after a baby!

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  • avatar

    K April 3, 2015, 1:17 pm

    I don’t have any siblings so what does that mean for my relationships? Haha

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    • avatar

      RedRoverRedRover April 3, 2015, 9:08 pm

      Just means you had to practice on your first few ex-boyfriends. Poor bastards. 🙂

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  • avatar

    absurdfiction April 3, 2015, 1:18 pm

    Ugh, flaking is my biggest pet peeve, and I definitely phase out friends who are major offenders. I’ve also noticed that now that everyone has a cell phone, there are no such thing as concrete plans. Instead of, “Great, Friday works. See you there at seven!” it’s “Friday should work! I’ll message you then and we can firm up plans.” NO THANKS. Can’t we please just decide what’s happening now, and leave it at that? There is no reason to leave everything up in the air!

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    • Cassie

      Cassie April 3, 2015, 1:24 pm

      I know! I must be old-school because once I make plans with someone, I write in on my calendar. In PEN, so you know it’s serious.

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      • avatar

        ktfran April 3, 2015, 1:34 pm

        I’m pretty old school about plans too. Once I make them, I usually keep them, barring an illness or truly having to work over time.
        .
        There have been a couple friends in the past that I would make plans with, but as the even date loomed closer, I found myself dreading it and would secretly hope they canceled. These friends and I slowly faded out. There was absolutely nothing wrong with these people, I guess we didn’t click and so… I find that’s a good indicator if when it’s time to cut a friendship.

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        ktfran April 3, 2015, 1:36 pm

        What I guess I’m really saying is, there are only so many hours in a day and I only have so much energy, so if I find that I’m really not into getting together with someone, that’s a good indicator to me that I should MOA and continue to cultivate the friendships I get excited about and I don’t want to cancel or secretly wish he or she cancels.

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      • avatar

        absurdfiction April 3, 2015, 2:35 pm

        Agreed! I have to admit, there have been a couple of times over the years when I’ve canceled plans the day-of, just from being too drained to be around people. However, I only have done that with other introverted friends who 100% understand why I need to reschedule, and it has been extremely rare. Otherwise, I suck it up and usually end up having a great time anyway, and feel glad I followed through.

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        RedRoverRedRover April 3, 2015, 9:09 pm

        Lol, that’s why all my friends are introverted like me! None of us mind when the other cancels, because we all know what it’s like to be drained.

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      • avatar

        Sunshine Brite April 3, 2015, 1:36 pm

        Yes! I’ve been making more of an effort lately to be less flakey. My super flakey, always late husband rubbed off a bit in the wrong way. I’m almost back to my old ways though.

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      K April 3, 2015, 1:24 pm

      Agreed on the “not concrete plans” thing. And lately I’ve been dealing with a flaker. There’s a group of 4 of us who often hang out. One of the women has blown us off the past 2 or 3 times we’ve tried to hang out. We’re all a little peeved at her and are thinking we might wait for her to suggest hanging out next time.

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      • avatar

        absurdfiction April 3, 2015, 2:38 pm

        It’s just so weird to me. I vividly remember learning how to set playdates and such as a child, and it never involved waiting until the day before or the day of to figure out whether it would actually be happening. DWers with kids, is that still a thing? Or are playdates just as hard to pin down as grown-up plans are these days? I feel like that would drive me nuts if I had kids’ schedules to plan around, and had to constantly shift plans and manage disappointed little ones who were looking forward to seeing friends.

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    Cleopatra Jones April 3, 2015, 1:27 pm

    In ‘This Image is Raising an Important Discussion about Women’, I was more horrified about her not wrapping her pad/panty liner in toilet paper or the plastic paper on the floor than I was of seeing her having a period. Maybe it’s the way I was raised because if I used the bathroom after her and saw that, I would be so grossed out.
    .
    As for the period in the sheets…eh, it’s happened at least once to every woman I know. So that’s not a big deal.

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    • TaraMonster

      TaraMonster April 3, 2015, 2:41 pm

      When it comes to media depictions of periods I agree with the artist 100%. Think about all the hilariously weird tampon/pad ads you’ve seen in your life. In that sense, the artists’ POV in the photo is totally necessary. In that photo, her not wrapping it up is important, and I’m down with that.
      .
      IRL, though? Yeah, do us all a favor and wrap it up. It’s not about periods being inherently gross, it’s about personal hygiene and keeping a place clean. No one wants to walk into a bathroom (or any space) and see or smell bodily fluids all over the place. I feel the same way about any bodily fluid/solid that’s on tissue in a bathroom: blood, urine, feces, mucus. Just be a neat person! And I’m not remotely ashamed of my period- I’m a menstrual cup using, IUD having vagina hippy. Both of those things require me to stick my fingers up there and deal with all the mess that goes along with it. I don’t even bat an eye about that- ya gotta deal with your period SOME way. No point in denying reality!

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    • avatar

      RedRoverRedRover April 3, 2015, 9:11 pm

      I think she just did that to make it seem more earthy, less sterile. To see a used pad is different than to see neat roll of plastic wrap.

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  • avatar

    booknerd April 3, 2015, 2:13 pm

    Why is it horrifying to see a bloody tampon or pad? Why is it gross? Half the population has or will have a period. It’s sad that even in this day and age, a completely natural monthly occurrence is seen as gross by so many people. I don’t get it. I don’t wrap my stuff up. A period is totally normal and natural. It’s not shameful, or dirty.

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    • avatar

      absurdfiction April 3, 2015, 2:44 pm

      I agree that menstruation should not be stigmatized the way it is. It’s natural, it’s necessary for furthering the human species, and yes, half the population does it. However, when it comes to wrapping sanitary products, I think it’s common courtesy. Not that it’s inherently super gross or anything, but to me leaving bloody stuff exposed would be akin to taking a huge dump and then not flushing the toilet. Not shameful, but not particularly considerate.

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    • avatar

      Cleopatra Jones April 3, 2015, 4:04 pm

      Seriously?
      .
      At home that might be fine but at your job? For real? I’m not sure if you know this but someone has to empty that trashcan or sanitary napkin dispenser. So essentially, you are leaving your unwrapped biological wastes for the cleaning crew to dispose of? Wow!
      .

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      • avatar

        booknerd April 4, 2015, 1:19 am

        Yeah, I do know people empty the trash and clean restrooms. They also use gloves and deal with far more disgusting things than a slightly bloody pad neatly rolled up upon itself. I don’t smear my blood all over bathroom stalls or anything. Real life is messy, and yes, even the menfolk know that most women bleed once a month. They also shit once or more per day and fart. It’s not a big deal.

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      RedRoverRedRover April 3, 2015, 9:16 pm

      I think the main problem is that blood is inherently scary to humans. Like, to see blood gushing out of someone triggers a reaction. If you’re a man, the only time you see that is if something bad is happening, pretty much. Someone’s hurt or dying. If you’re a woman, you get somewhat used to it, but I think to most of us it still causes some kind of reaction. My own blood doesn’t bother me, but I don’t particularly want to see anyone else’s, monthly or otherwise.

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