Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

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Illustration by Victor Kerlow for The New Yorker

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Fellow parents of the playground set may appreciate this one as much as I did: “Playground Purgatory” [via The New Yorker]

Tips for those experiencing early widowhood, an “Exclusive Club Sheryl Sandberg Never Intended To Join” [via HuffPost]

“Harriet Tubman Wins Unofficial Contest To Be On $20 Bill” [via NPR]

Huh, maybe men and women aren’t so different after all: “Being rejected by an attractive man makes women cruel to other men” [via Daily Mail]

“U.S. House Passes Abortion Ban That Could Challenge Roe V. Wade” [via HuffPost]

“A Superhot Son Made This Adorable Video to Help His Mom Find Love” [via PopSugar Love]

Well, it’s about time: “Hollywood Is Finally Making Way for the Female Loser” [via New Republic]

“An Ode Of Hatred To My Diva Cup” [via HuffPost]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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16 comments… add one
  • avatar

    MsMisery May 15, 2015, 12:07 pm

    Diva Cup rant was HI.LAR.I.OUS. (I’ve never been sold on the concept, but hey, if it works for you, I guess….)

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    • avatar

      MissDre May 15, 2015, 12:11 pm

      Haha yes, I tried the damn thing and feel exactly the same way as the writer of this rant 😛

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    • TaraMonster

      TaraMonster May 15, 2015, 12:39 pm

      I thought that was pretty funny, too. The Diva Cup is still a work in progress for me, but I am still firmly pro-menstrual cup. I know a lot of people roll their eyes and snark about menstrual cups, but periods are a pain in the ass, and I am pro anything that makes them more manageable. Sure the cups don’t work for everyone, but for many, many women they revolutionize your period. I use soft cups because they fit me better, are much much easier to insert, and they never ever leak (for me). Seriously. And I can keep it in for 12 hours (even when I’m heavy), so I’ve never had to change it in a public place. So yeah, the piece was pretty funny, but I don’t think women should be discouraged from trying cups when that’s already the standard reaction to using them. Most women I tell about the cup scrunch their faces up like I just told them something truly revolting, when really you remove a bloody tampon, so how is dumping a cup any grosser than that? I find more often than not, it’s just a reaction to something that’s unfamiliar- but everything is unfamiliar in the beginning (remember learning to insert a tampon?).

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      • avatar

        MsMisery May 15, 2015, 2:08 pm

        I definitely like them from a “green” perspective. Less stuff being thrown away is always a good thing. I have just never been really that hands on with myself. I definitely don’t like going “up there.” I don’t think vaginas in general are gross or anything… I guess I’d also make a bad drug mule. The whole thing for me is moot anyway. I am on a pill that made my period disappear. SO GLAD.

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      • avatar

        jlyfsh May 15, 2015, 4:13 pm

        I tried to buy the soft cup to try today after reading this and then your comment. Two stores were out of them 🙁 I’m not giving up though. They sounds better than what I’ve read about the diva cup as far as insertion, etc!

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster May 15, 2015, 4:39 pm

        They’re shaped differently, I think that’s why they’re easier to insert and remove. They look like a diaphragm, actually. Soft cups are great, though I’m still in the market for a more traditional cup as well because they’re more environmentally friendly. Though they do make reusable soft cups as well. A lot of women use the soft cups as starter cups. And this is TMI *** so stop reading if you don’t want to be grossed out *** last warning! *** here goes: If you push a little as if you’re having a bowel movement, the seal will break and the contents of the soft cup dump out into the toilet. Stop pushing and it suctions back in place. It does not come out of your body! It just sort of forces the cup to leak for a few seconds. I do this on the 2-3 heavier days, which means I never have had to change it in public. You can’t do that with traditionally shaped menstrual cups; those have to be completely removed to dump them.

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      Vathena May 15, 2015, 1:47 pm

      I’ve been using the Diva Cup since it was called “The Keeper” and made of rubber (I got my first one 13 years ago!) I can see how it wouldn’t work for some, but it’s been great for me. Although, I should add that I’ve only had one period in the past two years, since getting the Mirena. That’s another way to deal with periods, if one is not looking to get pregnant! 🙂

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    • Miel

      Miel May 15, 2015, 2:53 pm

      That article just made me think “that’s why you need to shop for the right cup before buying the Diva cup”. The Diva cup just doesn’t fit most people. People need to shop more !

      I have a sckoon cup. It’s beautiful and amazing and changed my life. I don’t even notice that I’m on my period anymore. I can keep it for 12 hours in a row. I don’t have to carry tampons in my backpack and hide them on my way to the bathroom. I don’t have to put bleached cloth near my vagina anymore. I don’t have leaks. I don’t have smells. I don’t run out of supplies on the worst day. It’s more comfortable than a pad or a tampon. I just could go on and on and on. I think the author was referring to me when she said “all those people on reddit” even if I’m not even on reddit.

      I just could go over all of her rants one by one to argue against her (like when she says her cup smells because she doesn’t want to boil it… boiling it is to get rid of bacteria ! Why would you not boil it ?! You’re supposed to boil it every month ! Do you like to put bacteria inside your vagina ? Why would you do this to yourself ! Boil your cup, it’s so simple !) but at the end of the day, she prefers tampons, I prefer my cup, to each its own.

      But for you ladies out there, have you ever stared at your collection of tampons and pads and thought “I’m going to do this for the rest of my life ?”. Because I was 23 and I stared at my pads and I couldn’t stand the thought of doing this for 30 more years. So now I have a cup. And I’m happy thinking I’m going to have periods for 30 more years with a cup.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster May 15, 2015, 4:24 pm

        I’ve been using the soft cup for seven years now and it’s the closest thing there is to magic when it comes to managing my period. I think that’s why so many women who love their cups are such strong proponents of them. We know about this wonderful thing and we want everyone else to know too! Period happiness for ALL! Haha.
        .
        That said, your point about trying different cups is great. The thing about the price being prohibitive is debatable because I bought both the Diva and the Intima Lily Cup compact using deals, and spent $45 combined on them (over 7 years. So I’ve saved a boatload on menstrual products). And since I’ve just mentioned the Lily cup compact- it is aweeeesssoooome. It’s smaller and softer than the other cups, so it’s not great for heavy days, but it collapses into a tiny little case so that I can keep it in my purse, and because it’s more flexible, it’s far more comfortable than the Diva IMO. I think I’m going to buy the regular sized Lily cup. It might be the cup that makes me switch off soft cups.
        .
        And that’s me off my soapbox! Happy perioding, folks!

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      • avatar

        booknerd May 15, 2015, 5:30 pm

        I love this pro cup talk. viva la revolution!

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      • avatar

        SasLinna May 16, 2015, 2:57 am

        ***TMI*** I tried the Diva Cup but could never get it to work correctly, don’t know why. It had nothing to do with the gross out factor (not a problem for me). The cup basically didn’t catch any blood at all and therefore leaked massively (don’t know how that’s even possible for the cup not even to catch anything, it was frustrating).
        I guess the ‘seal’ didn’t work even though I rotated it and did everything according to the instructions. It might simply have been too small for me, but I didn’t want to spend any more money on the bigger size. Also I usually cannot reach my cervix with my fingers even while squatting down and it may be tilted backwards a little, that may be the cause.
        Anyway, it just didn’t work for me even though I tried it at least 10 times and my experiences were similar to the writer of the diva cup rant, so I went back to tampons. It may be as simple as not all vaginas/cervixes having exactly the same shape – so fans of the cup should not assume that other women will be as happy as they are using the cup.

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      • Miel

        Miel May 17, 2015, 10:34 am

        Well have you looked into different brands of cup ? They come in different shapes, different sizes, different lengths, different softness, different volumes… The Diva cup is actually long and and ranges from medium to wide. There are wider and longer cups for those who need them. The Diva cup is also not very stiff.

        Here is the size charts with all the brands combined http://sizecharts.livejournal.com
        Here is an additional charts for stiffness of different brands https://menstrualcupinfo.wordpress.com/cup-stiffness-comparison-chart/

        I put this out there just because most people think if the Diva doesn’t fit them, then it’s either the Diva or nothing. In the mean time, every body has a different vagina and cervix height, so every body should be using the cup that fits them, not just the one that was at the store that day.

        On the other side, I agree that people should just get what they are comfortable with. Some people buy 3-4 different brands of cups without finding one that works well for them, so they just let go and go back to tampons. I have nothing against that. I understand how frustrating and expensive it might get. However, I was so happy to have to charts and sizing information when I bought my cup that I wanted to put them out there for anyone interested.

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    • mylaray

      mylaray May 15, 2015, 3:48 pm

      I honestly get a little annoyed how much the diva cup is pushed by other women to me (and the IUD, and tampons). It’s great if you like it and it works for you, and more choices are always great, but I have no interest and there shouldn’t be anything wrong with that.

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      • Portia

        Portia May 15, 2015, 5:25 pm

        As someone without a menstrual cup or IUD, I like that people are open to talking about their experiences about these things because honestly otherwise I would not even know about them. Heck, the only reason I even knew about IUDs before this site (and the Hobby Lobby case) is that I had one friend who was a little TMI just as a person and she got one. Then again, I’ve only heard about diva cups on here, and then only very occasionally. I’m pro getting information out there either way and I haven’t felt judgment about not using them.
        .
        Edit: To clarify, I don’t read internet comments anywhere but a few select places, including here. And I haven’t talked about menstrual cups with anyone in real life. So, it’s entirely possible I just haven’t hit the judgey ones…

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      • Miel

        Miel May 17, 2015, 10:40 am

        I actually learned about cups for the first time because of an article on Buzzfeed “21 reasons why you will love your period forever” or something like that. At the beginning of the article I didn’t know about cups, and by the end I was starting to shop for my own cup. It is ridiculous but true !

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  • avatar

    eelliinnss May 15, 2015, 12:33 pm

    I’m very politically moderate and typically have a hard time voting because there is never the compromise I wish to see. That said, Hillary’s quote on that abortion article has me so overwhelmed with support she may have just made my decision totally easy.

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