Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links

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Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“Why We Sleep Together: A long time ago, beds were expensive—but there’s more to it than that” [via The Atlantic]

“If Someone Has to Change Names Upon Marriage, Why Not the Husband?” [via Slate]

“What to Say—And What Not to Say—After Someone Has a Miscarriage” [via Bitch Magazine]

“Breaking Up at Whole Foods” [via NYTimes]

“12 Brave Men Sound Off on Female Body Hair” (because we all really need to hear from men we don’t know about how we are failing to turn them on by our disgusting hair that grows on our body) [via PopSugar Love]

“Why Child-Free Aunties Are Amazing” [via HuffPost]

“How To Ruin Your Life (Without Even Noticing That You Are)” [via Thought Catalog]

Millenials: The Try-Hard Generation [via The Atlantic]

Related: “Reality still bites for Gen X — and our independent streak is making things worse: Millennials graduated into a terrible job market, yes — but it’s Xers who should really be pissed” [via Salon]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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20 comments… add one
  • othy

    othy June 12, 2015, 12:33 pm

    For the record, as a childfree auntie, I can attest to the awesomeness of such a state. I love that I can hang out with my nieces, fully invest my time and energy to them when I’m with them, and then go back home for peace and quiet. And, if you ask my oldest niece who her favorite aunt is, it’s always me or her other childless-aunt. Because we’re awesome. I’m sure once my other nieces are old enough to understand the question, they will totally agree.

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  • TaraMonster

    TaraMonster June 12, 2015, 1:15 pm

    The body hair article made me furious. It doesn’t need to exist. I don’t need male opinion of women’s body hair. The end.

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    • avatar

      snoopy128 June 12, 2015, 1:42 pm

      Same. I got a little ragey. And as someone who “enjoys data”, especially the qualitative kind, I found this mini study off putting. Their sample size was clearly small and although they tried to represent different ages, that was about as far as their diversity went. And the the author’s comment at the end about being bisexual and essentially trying to ‘represent’ bisexuals, just made me mad.

      And the all the comments about ‘fine, light’ or ‘blond’ hair just made me so mad. Because it clearly only represents white women. GAH. ANGER.

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    • Cassie

      Cassie June 12, 2015, 1:53 pm

      Yeah, I got a bit ragey too. I wanted to tell all of those men to go get their genitalia waxed so they are completely hair-free and see how fun their experience is. Rude.

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    • bagge72

      bagge72 June 12, 2015, 2:18 pm

      Honestly, I’m with you, and it has affected some girls opinion on how they should look down there. I had a girl that I was hooking up with, who got really upset that she wasn’t groomed down there at all, and I was going to see her like that, and she kept trying to reassure me that isn’t what she is normally like she just hadn’t had a chance to get it waxed. I was like um your nice enough to let me see your special spot, I could careless if you groomed or not.

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    • Dear Wendy

      Dear Wendy June 12, 2015, 2:29 pm

      All I can say is that at a certain point in pregnancy, you cannot see “down there” anymore to adequately groom and, fuck it, your spouse, doctor and whoever else is going to get a view is just gonna have to deal! Unless you’re getting waxed, I guess (which is a topic of conversation on pregnancy message boards I’ve visited). I can’t speak for all heavily pregnant ladies, but at 8 months along with a belly out to here and doctor appointments once or twice a week every week, waxing (and, let’s be honest, sexytimes), aren’t exactly a top priority at the moment.

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      • honeybeenicki

        honeybeenicki June 12, 2015, 3:13 pm

        Uh yeah, I tried a couple of weeks ago and it was a disaster. It was hilarious, but a disaster. My poor husband didn’t know what to do when I came out into the living room completely naked, propped my leg up on his ottoman and asked him to inspect. And then he told me we’d need to get a crew in there to fix it (he was joking obviously) and told me that if I wanted, he’d do it for me but that it really wasn’t necessary.

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    • gigi

      gigi June 12, 2015, 2:43 pm

      Everyone is entitled to their personal preferences, I don’t think this article qualifies as a “study” though…. & really, who cares what these peoples’ opinions are? The only one I need to worry about pleasing is myself & my partner.

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      • mrmidtwenties

        mrmidtwenties June 12, 2015, 2:56 pm

        100% agree, the only opinions that matter are your own and your partners’. I think this applies to both men and women as I have encountered more and more women that prefer me to be very manscaped. And I am more than happy to oblige. For me, an extra minute or two in the shower is no big deal.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster June 12, 2015, 3:04 pm

        I agree. It SHOULD only be about yourself, and if you’re kind enough, your partner as well (which I do think is part of being GGG). I don’t care what *those* men think, but I do care that this “study” was even conducted and posted to the internet to add to the frankly deafening din of what our bodies are *supposed* to be so that we can all get the only thing that could possibly be important to the fragile female psyche- male approval. Gah. Too much rage for Friday! I want the wine. All the wine.

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      • avatar

        snoopy128 June 12, 2015, 5:11 pm

        Yes. I agree. With your clarification, and the wine.

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      • Portia

        Portia June 12, 2015, 8:26 pm

        I’m avoiding reading the article because I don’t feel like raising my blood pressure. But I agree with all the wine as well.

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    • avatar

      Miss Maisie June 12, 2015, 4:29 pm

      I laughed out loud at this:

      Keith (age 42): I will accept a small sexy landing strip. Beyond that I prefer that women do not have body hair. I like it smooth.

      Bwahahaha! He’ll “accept” that? Well, news flash, buddy. I bet you’ll accept anything you can get.

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    • avatar

      Sue Jones June 12, 2015, 10:05 pm

      Yeah the pubic hair thing… I swear if I ever end up widowed/divorced that will be the end of dating for me! Maybe it is a generational thing, but NONE of the men I have ever had sex with cared a RAT’S ASS about what I did with my pubic hair. What is this entitlement I detect from these spoiled man/children???? Good lord, pornography has really ruined a lot of men. I would like to know if the older guys are actually married or if they are the type where no one woman is good enough for? Glad the multitudes of men that I have fucked in my life were happy, no actually GRATEFUL that they were getting some at all! And scientific “survey” my ass! They can take this survey and shove it up their manscaped asses! There! That feels better!

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      • avatar

        RedRoverRedRover June 13, 2015, 2:35 pm

        I’ve never experienced it either. I’m 39. But some of these guys are around my age, so I guess it happens in my generation. Could be the guys I dated… I don’t date huge douchebags. So that probably makes a difference.

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    • avatar

      MsMisery June 15, 2015, 11:54 am

      Oh my gods this made me so mad (as most articles about my pubes do). Nine times out of ten the men telling me how women “MUST” shave or how “FILTHY” body hair is have no compunction about letting themselves grow as wild as the Amazon. “A landing strip is fine.” OH THANKS FOR YOUR PERMISSION, JERKAHOLIC. Times like this, I am never more grateful I don’t date. If you can’t get past a natural specimen that is showered on a daily basis (there’s your “clean”), you have no business even dealing with said specimen. You are not tall enough to ride this ride.
      .
      I saw a slideshow over the weekend (I don’t remember where, Bored Panda maybe) of women with underarm hair. Some of them had dyed it all rainbow-ey. If I could actually GROW pit hair, that is a thing I’d totally do.

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  • avatar

    shakeourtree June 12, 2015, 1:18 pm

    It’s nice to see some commentary about Millenials that isn’t just shitting on us. I’m not offended by negative commentary about my generation, though. I am an older Millenial, and I definitely don’t relate to some things associated with the younger Millenials. Like, I will never understand the impulse to snapchat a selfie while you’re riding the bus. But IMO, nothing ages you faster than complaining about those who are younger than you!
    .
    I also didn’t realize that some people apparently regard ambition as a negative trait! For real? If we’re too ambitious, we’re self-centered. If we’re not ambitious enough, we’re lazy. WHICH ONE IS IT, GUYS?

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    • Classic

      Classic June 14, 2015, 10:26 pm

      You guys are are great. The best! Keep doing what you are doing 🙂 thanks

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  • avatar

    d2 June 14, 2015, 10:33 am

    Whole Foods Breakup – So now I have this urge to try work the line “You’re just saying that because I don’t like kale” into daily conversation…

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  • Classic

    Classic June 14, 2015, 10:22 pm

    I love the Millennials so much. All of the time that my son has been growing up, I have seen them all trying so hard to be such good people and trying so hard to do the right thing at all times, even while it is so freaking hard to figure out what is right. So earnest and so true.

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