Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links


Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

Male contraceptive injection halted due to ‘intolerable’ side effects that women have suffered for years

A movie producer warned Mila Kunis’ career would end if she refused to pose half-naked for a men’s magazine, the A-list actress wrote in an open letter about sexism in Hollywood and society at large.

You Do Not Need to Tell Me You Are Engaged to Your Best Friend: Expanding your social media vocabulary

Why ambitious men are celebrated and ambitious women are criticized

With four days left until election day here in the US, here are some final — oh, God, please let them be final — thoughts:

“Thinking holistically about pro-life values means thinking beyond the labor and delivery unit. If we don’t address income inequality in this country, and if we don’t support robust plans to improve health care and education, we simply can’t sustain the very lives we’re advocating be protected. […]

By focusing exclusively on the legal components of abortion while simultaneously opposing these family-friendly social policies, the Republican Party has managed to hold pro-life voters hostage with the promise of outlawing abortion (which has yet to happen under any Republican administration since Roe v. Wade), while actively working against the very policies that would lead to a significant reduction in unwanted pregnancies.

So even though I think abortion is morally wrong in most cases, and support more legal restrictions around it, I often vote for pro-choice candidates when I think their policies will do the most to address the health and economic concerns that drive women to get abortions in the first place.”

— I’m a pro-life Christian. Here’s why I’m voting for Hillary Clinton

How large is the “Secret Hillary Club”? Red-state women may be defying their Trump-loving husbands

Louis C.K. Delivers The Perfect Closing Case For Voting For Hillary Clinton

Election Update: Yes, Donald Trump Has A Path To Victory (Please, God, no!!!).

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and, if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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10 comments… add one
  • avatar

    RedRoverRedRover November 4, 2016, 1:40 pm

    Eh, I’m not crazy about that Louis C.K. clip. I get what he’s saying, yeah it’s funny, but it just propagates this whole idea that women are “natural” parents and that men will never be as good. Yes, there are a lot of awesome moms. You know why? Because they work their asses off at it. My best friend and I talk about this, about all the parts of motherhood that we don’t enjoy and really struggle with. We just have to push through and force ourselves to do it, because we have to. Not because it’s “natural”. Not because we love every moment. But because there’s a baby here, and it needs taking care of, and we have to do it.

    And then on the other side, painting men as hopeless. I’ll tell you, when I was overloaded with my high-needs newborn, my husband spent 4 months doing 100% of everything for our son and the house. He did everything. Getting him to daycare and back, bedtime, potty training, doctor’s appointments, grocery shopping, meal planning and cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. Just literally everything. And still working full-time with a long commute. Men can absolutely do it just as well as women can. Does it suck? Yeah, it sucks. He was basically a single parent, it was exhausting for him. But that’s what a lot of women go through too. We have to be able to share the bad parts as well as the good parts. Louis C.K.’s act is just reinforcing the notion that it’s mommy’s “job”, and daddy can maybe do a bit of it, but not nearly as well.

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    • avatar

      anonymousse November 4, 2016, 7:35 pm

      The 40% bit was a joke.
      I think he meant she is selfless and has more stamina than any White House father in history. That’s what I took from it. She is a tough bitch who will get shit done and she doesn’t care what anyone throws at her because she’s literally had it all thrown at her and still has been a mother and grandmother and wife while the shitstorm implodes around her. I like it.

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      • avatar

        Kate November 5, 2016, 6:15 am

        That’s what I like about her too. And I don’t even get this whole thing about not being human or relatable. She reminds me of my aunt.

  • TheLadyE

    TheLadyE November 4, 2016, 3:10 pm

    I love Rachel Bloom’s video on Funny or Die: I already thought she was amazing on Crazy Ex Girlfriend and this takes it to another level. I haven’t shared a peep about politics on FB yet because of conservative friends and acquaintances (just don’t want to deal with the drama) but this might be the breaking point that I post. It’s awesome.

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  • avatar

    Ed November 4, 2016, 8:54 pm

    Wife did not look for a babysitter and now she wants to go to the party without husband. She did intentionally.
    How he should react ?

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    • avatar

      snoopy128 November 5, 2016, 10:55 am

      Why is it the wife’s job the look up the babysitter? Maybe this should read “wife nor husband looked for a babysitter, now husband expects to go to party despite not making adequate childcare plans”.
      More context is needed. This would be a great question or the advice forums, so long as more information is provided.

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  • Portia

    Portia November 5, 2016, 9:43 am

    I’ve been hearing so much about the male birth control shot over the last few days, and because of the click-bait articles about it that are basically “men are babies” there’s been some limited backlash in my circles that those are very real concerns, and I agree. But if it is, why are women expected to put up with many of the same side effects, and why do researchers think that the risks outweigh the benefits for men but not women? My one friend posted a critique, that it’s more problematic that researchers and doctors downplay the side effects that women experience by using hormonal birth control, basically stopped doing research on side effects for 50 years after the pill was first approved, and that it’s a “patriarchy in medicine” problem rather than a “men are weak” problem. Although it didn’t have exactly the same arguments, I liked this article, which pointed out the patriarchy in medicine problem, that even very recent birth control was approved even though in the drug study a higher percentage of women had the same side effects: If it were really about the side effects, this second panel of doctors would not have stopped the research (because an earlier panel had allowed the research to continue).

    Either way, I really hope that hormonal male birth control is approved soon (either this or another one), and the fact that over 80% of the men in the trial would continue to take it despite these potential effects is very promising.

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    • avatar

      snoopy128 November 5, 2016, 10:59 am

      Portia, I really like the article you linked. I think it describes the medical patriarchy very well.

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