Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links, April 26

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

This is hilarious, from the always-funny Jimmy Kimmel.

You’ve probably seen this at least a few times on your Facebook feed over the last couple of weeks, but in case you missed it, the reviews on these BIC Cristal “For Her” pens are hysterical.

“Why Men Keep Telling Women To ‘Smile'” [via The Gloss]

“Men I Might Regret Sleeping With Were It Not for the Music They Introduced Me To” [via The Hairpin]

“Why Men And Women Don’t Have the Same Marriage” [via HuffPo]

“The mother who says having these two children is the biggest regret of her life” [via Daily Mail]

“To parents of small children: Let me be the one who says it out loud” [via The Actual Pastor]

Parental love is infinite. Not infinitely good, or infinitely ennobling, or infinitely beautiful. Just infinite. Often, infinitely boring. I love this essay: “The pain when children fly the nest” [via BBC]

“3 Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married” [via Relevant]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

174 comments… add one
  • avatar

    Addie Pray April 26, 2013, 12:17 pm

    I want to be Jimmy Kimmel’s girlfriend. How can I make that happen?

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  • avatar

    haggith April 26, 2013, 12:28 pm

    “to parents of small children” is great, but i clicked on his wife story on her c-section scar and stretch marks and that was incredibly inspirational http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/03/06/these-are-the-lines-of-a-story/

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    • avatar

      EricaSwagger April 26, 2013, 1:01 pm

      Oh my gosh that made me cry.

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      • BriarRose

        BriarRose April 26, 2013, 1:41 pm

        For serious. I am choked up.

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      • avatar

        lemongrass April 26, 2013, 3:56 pm

        That was beautiful! And really what I needed to read because I am feeling the exact same way. I have never had so much respect for my body but at the same time I am not satisfied.

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  • avatar

    6napkinburger April 26, 2013, 12:30 pm

    I am dying at those pen reviews.

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 12:35 pm

    The empty nest one hurts. We spend all this time preparing our children to leave the nest and succeed, and seemingly no time preparing ourselves for when the kids do leave. I can’t even bear to think of how sad I will be when that happens, and I know that sounds so dramatic, but its true.

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  • avatar

    GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 12:36 pm

    I actually really like the “3 things I wish I knew before getting married” article. It’s good advice (the religious part I could do with out).

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 12:44 pm

      I just re-read it thinking I missed the religion part. There isn’t any religion part though. I’m confused.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 1:00 pm

        There was some Scripture reference in the begining. And lots of saying “Chrisitan Biologist”

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:04 pm

        The christian biologist made no reference to religion in his advice. Just pointed out what his profession is.

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      • avatar

        Flanagan.er April 26, 2013, 1:26 pm

        There was no direct references, but a lot of the language he used was stuff I really only hear from pretty religious people talking about marriage.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:32 pm

        Funny, because I really didn’t feel that way, and I’ve heard pretty religious people talking about marriage. This just seemed like good general advice for any marriage, religious or not.

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      • avatar

        Flanagan.er April 26, 2013, 2:35 pm

        I’m not saying its bad advice or anything, I just thought “this guy is religious” as I was reading it, and then I got to “Christian biologist”, which confirmed it.

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      • Kate B.

        Kate B. April 26, 2013, 3:33 pm

        Yeah, the reference to Scripture indicates he is a Christian, but I think the advice that he gives could apply to any marriage. I agree with it and I hope any husband of mine would as well, and I’m about as far away from Christian as you can get.

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      • avatar

        SweetPeaG April 26, 2013, 1:49 pm

        I think it is from a religious magazine/website. I don’t think their audience is the non-religious folks.

        I thought it was a nice piece. Not over-the-top.

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 1:34 pm

      “Scripture alludes to” “marriage has a higher goal” also pointing out “Christian biologist” over and over again. Plus it’s a faith centered website.

      I like the points…I just felt it was oooozing with a religious slant.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:38 pm

        I’m still not seeing the scripture part. But saying what one’s profession is (not even the person who wrote the article) isn’t a religious slant. Had they interviewed someone who was just a biologist, would you think it had a science slant. Know what I mean?

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 1:49 pm

        IMO, saying “Christina biologist” means he is coming at science with a religious slant. Nothing wrong with it, per say, but putting it out there that he is looking at biology through a religious lense…eh it’s a little discrediting to me. Had they left out his religious background, it would have had more credit with me. But considering the site being faith based, it’s understandable why it was included.

        Have you heard of the creation museum or the the Creationist scientists who beleive the dinasaurs are a haox?

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:53 pm

        I just felt like had he left his profession out of the article, I never would have known he was religious. What do you think?

        OMG yes. I don’t think that “test” was real, and I really hope it wasn’t.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 2:07 pm

        oh its very real. i was taught those exact same things. i guess in my situation it was “ok” because it was a private school, and that test came out of a public school, right?

        either way there wrong. lol

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 2:00 pm

        ive visited those places… its scary.

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 12:49 pm

    The one about wishing she never had kids…I really am trying to think of something worse than reading an article my mom wrote about how much she resents that fact that I’m alive. Maybe writing that she didn’t care that he almost died at birth. And this crazy ass went and had another kid! Wtf. I’m pretty sure I hate this woman.

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    • katie

      katie April 26, 2013, 12:55 pm

      i actually wish more people, and women especially, would speak up about regretting kids. our society is such childless hateful and so if you dont have a kid your life doesnt matter-ish, but the reality is that a lot of people shouldnt even have kids in the first place, and then a lot of other people would just have a much happier life without them. im glad people are speaking up and hopefully one day letting people be happy about the path that they choose.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 12:59 pm

        I just wish those women wouldn’t publish the fact that they resent their kids. Write it anonymously if your children are still alive.

        There’s a huge difference between hating people who don’t want kids, and actually having them and openly admitting to those kids you wish they never were born.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 1:09 pm

        eh, i think your looking at it a little too harshly..

        “Still, I wished no harm on Stuart and invested every ounce of my energy in caring for him. Even so, I know my life would have been much happier and more fulfilled without children.

        I felt precisely the same indifference towards her as I had to Stuart, but I knew I would care for Jo to the best of my ability, and love her as I’d grown to love him.”

        its not like she hates them, tried to be rid of them, or didnt care about their well-being, she is just being honest and real that this was not the path she should have taken.

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      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed April 26, 2013, 1:11 pm

        And she took in her daughter who has MS to take care of her

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:11 pm

        She said she resents them for existing. I can respect the fact that she still did what is required of parents, but that’s about the only thing I can respect.

        Do you really not agree with me that it’d be just as easy, and way nicer, to have published this anonymously so her children didn’t know she resents them and wish they were never born?

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 1:21 pm

        well you assume that they would be offended or hurt… i honestly dont know if, after having a wonderful childhood (as it really sounds like they had) they would be offended that their mother truly, honestly, would have rather not had children.

        if my mother ever said that, in the way that this mother has laid it out, i would just feel bad that she didnt get to have the life she wanted, and not like guilty-bad, like it was my “fault”, i would just feel generally sad for her. it wouldnt change any of the facts that she loves me, she cared for me, i had/have a good life, ect.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:23 pm

        And then you would be assuming they aren’t hurt by it.

        I honestly can’t imagine anyone not being hurt knowing that anyone wishes they were never born, let alone their mother.

        I do wish you would answer my question though.Do you really not agree with me that itโ€™d be just as easy, and way nicer, to have published this anonymously so her children didnโ€™t know she resents them and wish they were never born?

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 1:28 pm

        actually no, im glad she just came right out and said it. doing the whole anonymous thing just keeps the same cultural thoughts going- its shameful to not want kids. its a view or a thought you cant even admit that you hold. thats not right.

        and also, i have to assume that the children know this already and knew their pictures were being used, ect. they are in their 30’s.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:30 pm

        I’m not going to assume that. But agree to disagree I guess. Being a good parent means not publishing the fact that you resent your children. Those children (and their privacy) should be a bigger priority than letting random women get to hear its ok to make their own choices in life and not have kids.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom April 28, 2013, 5:23 pm

        I think she’s being incredibly cruel. How many posters on this site would welcome hearing from their mom that she wished they didn’t exist? How many would want to hear that they made their mom’s life worse?

        The thing is, she can never know if she would have been happier because she didn’t live the life without children. She doesn’t know what it would have been like and the grass is always greener when we imagine how it could have been. It might have been happier but maybe not because imagining the other life isn’t the same as living it.

        I’m not saying this as someone who thinks that everyone should have children. I think if you don’t want children you shouldn’t have them but if you do have them you should at least be psychologically kind and if she really didn’t want them that much she should have placed them for adoption.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ April 26, 2013, 2:57 pm

        I am 100% with you, Katie. I don’t think she should be silenced into anonymity because her opinion is wildly unpopular.

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      • Kate B.

        Kate B, April 26, 2013, 2:51 pm

        I would bet that this came as no surpise to the kids. They probaby sensed something was off in their relationship with their mother and probably blamed themselves as kids do. This probably explains a lot and answers a lot of questions. I agree that you probably shouldn’t tell your kids these things when they are kids, but as an adult, I would like to hear it. I would appreciate my mother being honest with me, especially if I had children. I would want to know how much involvement I could expect from my mother.

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      • avatar

        EricaSwagger April 26, 2013, 1:17 pm

        But I understand why she had them… Because her husband wanted them and she loves him. I anticipate feeling similar to her when I have children. I don’t really want children (hopefully that changes as I come closer to it), but if it means being without the man I love? I’ll happily make the sacrifice.

        Because Katie is right, nobody cares about my boyfriend and I right now — we’re childless. Aunts and uncles and grandparents don’t care if he and I show up to the family reunion. They want to see his brother and sister in law and their two sons. They want to see his cousin and her husband and their daughter, and touch her “2nd baby on the way” belly. His mother helps his brother and sister in law with their bills, not because they need it, but because they have two children. My dad keeps asking for grandchildren. It’s endless. And if having kids matters so much to everyone around me and doesn’t matter much to me either way… I will do it.

        (I probably won’t just come out and tell my kids I resent them, though.)

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:22 pm

        See, I just think that would be a bad decision. I understand marriage comes with compromise and sacrifice, but bringing a human being in the world is not a compromise one should make. Doing laundry when you hate it? Good compromise. Forcing a child to have a parent that doesn’t want it because your husband or your family does? Bad compromise.

        (I hope this isn’t insulting to you)

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary April 26, 2013, 1:45 pm

        I agree, and I think that the majority of people who have kids end up resenting their partner or their children. Just don’t have kids if you don’t want kids. It’s that simple.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:50 pm

        Good point, if you don’t resent the kids, you likely will at least resent your husband.

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      • avatar

        EricaSwagger April 26, 2013, 1:47 pm

        No it’s not insulting, and I totally understand that most people probably feel the same as you about this. But like the woman said in the article, I fully understand the choice I’d be making, I understand the undertaking, and I’m still deciding to do it. I would certainly not bring a child into the world if I didn’t think that I could learn to be a good mother, of if I didn’t think that I would love my children and care for them to the best of my ability. I think I would rather have children and make the most of it hopefully to end up knowing I made the right choice, than not have them and end up regretting it.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:51 pm

        Hmm. Very interesting. You believe you would never resent him or them though?

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      • avatar

        EricaSwagger April 26, 2013, 2:05 pm

        I’m sure there are times when every parent feels resentful of their children or the other parent. Nobody can claim they have never had a negative feeling about marriage/kids. You just weight the good vs the bad.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 2:08 pm

        Sure, fair point. But I think pangs of what ifs are different than regretting the entire thing and resenting them so much that you seem to resent them entirely, not just in momentary passing.

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      • avatar

        EricaSwagger April 26, 2013, 2:26 pm

        I personally would rather regret a choice I made than a choice I didn’t make. Hopefully it won’t turn out that way; I’m optimistic that I’ll end up having made the right choice. That’s all I can do.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 1:58 pm

        thats exactly how i envision her thought process as well.

        i think people are getting hung up on the word “resent” like this woman wished them all to just die one day or something horrible- thats not true. she would have rather not had them, but she compromised with her husband and was a (assuming) great loving mother. she made a choice, and im sure she really understood what she was doing.

        i would sure as hell like to have a mother like that then a mother who had me for selfish reasons because i would “complete her life” or whatever and then helicoptered over me for the rest of my life.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 2:04 pm

        I know that resent does not mean wishing death. I know what resent means.

        I can’t believe you of all people think someone should have a child only to please someone else.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 2:12 pm

        i dont think its necessarily a “good” choice across the board, its not a choice i would make if i was firmly on the childless side of things, and its not a choice i would advise a friend to make, but i understand why she did it. i cant fault her, or anyone really, for consciously making a choice, making the best of those choices, and then remaining honest about her thoughts/feelings. i actually think the world would be a better place if more people went that route (the make a choice, make the best of it, be honest route)

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 2:15 pm

        Bringing truly unwanted children into the world is something I can say I will fault someone for.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 2:15 pm

        …and not putting them up for adoption, I should add.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 2:16 pm

        haha, and stick a “deliberately” before the whole bringing unwanted kids into the world.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 2:18 pm

        well they werent unwanted, remember… the father very much wanted them, thats why they are here.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 2:20 pm

        She agreed to parent a kid she never wanted. I just don’t think that’s cool.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 2:25 pm

        the same thing could be applied to any person who marries someone who already had a child. that doesnt make them bad people.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 2:37 pm

        Its totally not like that. Someone who decides to marry someone who already has a kid presumably wants to be a stepparent.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 2:44 pm

        yea, but that doesnt mean that they wanted kids. its absolutely possible, and im sure it happens, that a person feels more strongly about keeping the relationship then they do about not having children/not caring for children. a potential step parent who never wanted kids who accepts that role and does their best at it -and then later is honest about their life, thoughts and feelings- is not a bad person.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 2:46 pm

        I still find it totally different. Making a child you don’t want is not the same as marrying someone who already has a child, which child already has parents that want them.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow April 26, 2013, 3:19 pm

        Well, plus the dad totally wanted them and she said he was a great father and picked up wherever she was lacking. Does anyone think she’s being judged more harshly for being a woman? Is it really that different from a guy who maybe reluctantly decides to have kids because his wife wants then so badly? Or an absent/barely-there/more-disciplinarian-than-affectionate dad? (Not that the author was absent or barely there – she quit her job to stay home with them!)

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:25 pm

        A girlfriend of mine who is engaged had a miscarriage several months ago. At some point, her fiance admitted that he didn’t really want children to begin with. She very much does. My advice to her was to walk away, because it’d be wrong of her to make him have kids when he doesn’t want them and it’d be wrong to her future kids to push an unwanting father on them. So no, my opinion wouldn’t change at all.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:25 pm

        You can be very, very absent and still be a stay at home parent.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow April 26, 2013, 3:38 pm

        Well keep in mind also that this woman made her choice 30 years ago when it was much less popular to decide to be childless. I personally have never really felt the need to have kids, but I’m trying to leave the door open for the possibility, believing I might change my mind someday or my biological clock will kick in or something.

        Still, I feel immense pressure to have kids. I feel it from my family, I’ve felt it from boyfriends, I get it from friends ALL THE TIME, and I feel it from society in general. It’s always, “Oh you’ll change your mind.” “Oh but you would be a great mom!” or “Don’t worry, once you have them you’ll love them more than anything and your ‘motherly instinct’ will kick in.”

        People just believe that it’s “natural” for women to want and have children, and that being “motherly” is something that’s innate. I don’t fault this woman at all for thinking, “Hey, this is something everyone does, this is something my husband wants, and I’ll look at my baby and the magic switch will be flipped and I’ll be filled with undying love for my baby” because I’m sure those were the messages she was bombarded with.

        Some people are ABSOLUTELY SURE they don’t want children, but many are ambivalent. And I bet many of those ambivalent people regret their choice – whichever one they made – but don’t talk about it out of fear of judgment.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 3:44 pm

        oh it is painfully obvious that she is being judged harshly because she is a woman. absolutely.

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      • BriarRose

        BriarRose April 26, 2013, 2:13 pm

        But in the article it mentions that the daughter said the mom never said she loved the kids. I had a childhood like that, and it’s not great for your self-esteem. I think the resentment was probably more obvious to the children than the article lets on.

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      • BriarRose

        BriarRose April 26, 2013, 1:49 pm

        My ex-husband wanted more than the one child we have. I simply couldn’t bring myself to have another, especially since as the Mom, I would be more impacted than him. I strongly urge anyone who feels forced/pressured to have children when they don’t want them to seriously reconsider doing so. PS. This is not me resenting my daughter (I think everyone knows how much I adore her) but pointing out that no one should have kids (or another kid) if they truly don’t want to.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:51 pm

        100% agree.

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      • avatar

        EricaSwagger April 26, 2013, 2:14 pm

        It’s not that I don’t want to, necessarily. Right now I just don’t have that urge, I don’t feel my biological clock ticking, I don’t feel the longing that women feel to have a baby. Like I said, I hope that as I get a little older and closer to a time in my life when a baby is more practical, that I do start to really want children. Maybe I’m just not there yet.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 2:38 pm

        Oh, give it a few years and you will. KIDDING!! ๐Ÿ™‚

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      • avatar

        EricaSwagger April 26, 2013, 3:11 pm

        Hahaha ๐Ÿ˜‰

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      • othy

        othy April 26, 2013, 3:29 pm

        I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard that.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:30 pm

        I’m sorry! I promise it was a joke.

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      • avatar

        findingtheearth April 26, 2013, 4:40 pm

        I heard something a few months ago “A woman can physically be a mother, but you cannot make a woman psychologically be a mother if she does not want to be one.”

        There is a huge difference in being invested in your children and selflessly loving them, versus having them because they are part of a marriage contract.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 4:43 pm

        Like that whole anyone can be a father, not everyone can be a dad.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom April 28, 2013, 5:35 pm

        Raising a child is really a labor of love and if you don’t love that child unconditionally it probably won’t go well because you are going to be giving and giving and giving and sacrificing and if don’t love that child like they are Gods gift to the world then you will almost certainly resent them and also not put forth the effort that they need to thrive.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom April 28, 2013, 5:28 pm

        I agree. Kids are so much work and a stress on marriage that if you don’t want them I think it will only harm your marriage and might destroy it anyway.

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary April 26, 2013, 1:19 pm

      I agree with LBH. On the one hand, I think it’s nice that women out there who regret their children now know that they are not alone. But is publishing it with her name, picture, and her children’s pictures the best way to go about it? Maybe not.

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    • avatar

      MsMisery April 26, 2013, 1:26 pm

      I could not read past the “I believe it is utterly selfish to only have one” line. She felt no emotional attachment to her son and regretted his very existence… LET’S HAVE ANOTHER. I really, really hate the pervasive attitude among so many people towards only children. YOU are the parent. YOU decide whether your only child turns into a spoiled brat or not. Having another kid you hate isn’t an automatic fix. GAH AHARHGHGHGH *gnashes teeth*

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        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:28 pm

        I agree, but at the same time, at lease these poor kids have each other.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ April 26, 2013, 3:01 pm

        Why are they poor kids? Sounds like they had a great upbringing! And I doubt very much that they’re totally unaware of their mother’s feelings about motherhood.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:03 pm

        Because their mom wishes she never had them. That’s sad.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom April 28, 2013, 5:37 pm

        An emotionally absent mother isn’t a great upbringing. Even if she did the required things there is a difference between that and being hugged and loved and knowing that you are always valued.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 1:33 pm

        she “promised” the second one, to her husband i assume…. so.. thats why.

        also, she believes that children should grow up with other sibling/s. why is that view not correct either? that is a perfectly acceptable opinion to hold, just as the opinion of having an only child is perfectly acceptable.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:40 pm

        You really shouldn’t be promising children you never want to someone. And if you don’t want the kid you already you, you REALLY shouldn’t have another. That’s the point.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary April 26, 2013, 1:46 pm

        I don’t know if she meant that only children end up spoiled brats. But I personally believe that there are many advantages to having siblings. I wouldn’t want my child to be an only-child either.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:49 pm

        Growing up with a ton of siblings, I used to say the same thing. There are pros and cons to both though I think. I don’t regret only having one, but she is lucky that we live so close to my much younger siblings who are close in age to her.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary April 26, 2013, 1:58 pm

        I think it all depends on life situations. Sometimes people can’t have more, sometimes their finances or personal situation doesn’t allow it, and sometimes people are happy with just one (and we both agree you shouldn’t have another if you don’t want another). I just have benefited so much from my siblings–advice on college, relationships, jobs(this is huge), commiserating about our parents, sharing life experiences as adults—that I can’t imagine having a kid without siblings! We’ll see what happens though I could eat my words.

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      • BriarRose

        BriarRose April 26, 2013, 2:07 pm

        But not everyone with siblings has that same experience. I’m the oldest of 4 and I have none of those things you described.

        I think it’s totally fine for people to want 1, 4, 7, or no kids. Just don’t assume that the same thing works for every family and situation (this is directed at the general population, not Kerry).

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      • BriarRose

        BriarRose April 26, 2013, 1:53 pm

        Picking on only children is still so widely accepted. Luckily my daughter hasn’t encountered much prejudice yet. When she was about 4, someone asked her if she wanted a brother or sister, and she said, “Nope! I’m an only child and that means my Mommy can afford braces for me!” Hilarious.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:54 pm

        Lol, mine doesn’t want siblings either.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 2:38 pm

        I didn’t want siblings…and I got a sister when I was 8 and a brother when I was 10. Talk about a learning curve.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 2:43 pm

        Are you glad you have them now?

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 3:01 pm

        Yes ๐Ÿ™‚ But at 8 and 10 it was a hard adjustment. but I love my little muffinheads now.

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      • avatar

        csp April 26, 2013, 4:00 pm

        I never thought that the reason people are against only children was that they were spoiled. Do you find that? I thought it was more that sibblings give companionship and it it also less of a burden taking care of aging parents.

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 1:37 pm

      LBH, I’m with you.

      FWIW, my mom has said she wasn’t “planning” on having children, but it happened. Did I feel a littler weird when she said it? Yes. Had she said “I resent having you” or “it was a mistake to have you” I would have been devistated. Specially if she was smearing it all over the internet!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 1:41 pm

        Thank you! I’m all for women knowing they are still 100% without having children.Truly. Your comment is exactly what I’ve been trying to say.

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      • BriarRose

        BriarRose April 26, 2013, 1:44 pm

        I often wonder if my mother wished she hadn’t had children. I certainly feel that our relationship is very different than what I have observed my friends having with their parents.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary April 26, 2013, 2:00 pm

        I was a surprise (3rd child) and I think my mom was totally “over being a mom” by the time she had me, especially as I entered adolescence, but if she had told me that I would’ve had a meltdown.

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    • avatar

      SweetPeaG April 26, 2013, 1:52 pm

      AGREED, lets_be_honest!
      Anonymous would have been the way to go. Absolutely horrid.

      Reply Link
    • KKZ

      KKZ April 26, 2013, 2:56 pm

      I feel exactly the opposite. I love this woman for being honest and forthright. How many woman bury their own feelings and never speak their truth out loud for fear of what others will think? How many women prioritize the needs, feelings and opinions of everyone else in the world above their own?

      If my mom wrote something like this today, or said it to my face even, I would probably be a bit shocked but otherwise say Good for you, Mom. She’s a person too and entitled to her feelings, even if those feelings are hurtful to me. Like I said, so many women go out of their way to avoid ever hurting another person’s feelings or making themselves look bad.

      I have never been of the opinion that an individual person must cease to exist as an individual and instead disappear into the self-sacrificing role of Parent the moment they have a child. I am not having children for the same reasons she named – valuing my independence and time, and feeling like it would be ultimately unfulfilling to me – and I am lucky enough to have married a guy who feels the same. If I had kids, i would be her in 32 years, I know it.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:01 pm

        Its not that I disagree with what you’re saying, I just think she should’ve written it anonymously if her kids were still alive. Its cruel to her kids.

        And I think my line of thinking is far from saying the individual must cease to exist once they become a parent. I too value my independence. I just can also care about my kid’s feelings while being independent. People should go out of their way to not hurt others.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ April 26, 2013, 3:33 pm

        Eh, I guess I disagree that it’s cruel, based only on my assumption that this will come as no great shock to the adult children (and if her kids are anything like her, they must have backbones of steel). How would it be any less cruel if the children had both died and THEN she wrote something like this? Then everyone would be attacking her for saying “Good riddance” to the dead.

        Here’s the thing: A mom telling her child that she regretted having him is not saying anything about the child, but about herself. It would be an error for the child to take it personally, like “Wow, I must have done something really wrong to make Mom regret even having me” but that’s not it at all. That’s too small-picture. What Mom is reacting to is the big picture – parenthood, and how in hindsight (in this case, a little foresight too) it was not the right choice for her. It’s a blurry line, I agree, but I see those as two distinct scenarios.

        So think about a gay person who gets into a heterosexual marriage despite suspicions or reservations about their sexuality. And then years later it comes out that they are gay and they regret denying it to themselves and their partner for so long. But they still very much love their partner – it was choosing a heterosexual life that was the regrettable decision, not the person they married. While the spouse may rightfully be devastated by the falsehood of the marriage, it would be a mistake to take it personally or to say “Wow, I must have been a really bad spouse if after all this time my partner wishes we would have never gotten married.” And I even think most people would counsel the grieving spouse to not take it personally, too, because there’s a bigger picture, there’s more to it than just how the gay spouse felt toward the other.

        Does that make sense?

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 3:37 pm

        Re: your second paragraph- it doesn’t matter that the kids *shoudln’t* take it personally…they undoubtedly will. Especially if they read this when they are say tweens or teens.

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      • LadyinPurpleNotRed

        LadyinPurpleNotRed April 26, 2013, 3:40 pm

        They are adults now.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 3:41 pm

        they are in their thirties. im sure they are under no illusions about their mother.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:42 pm

        I would be extremely hurt if my mother wrote this about me, and then published it. I’m 31.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 3:46 pm

        Yeah, I’m almost 28 and if my mom said she resented me I would have a mental breakdown. For real.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 3:51 pm

        yea, but you didnt grow up with her as a mother… you cant just insert yourself and your own mother and your own bond with her in this situation. i mean specifically for them, with this woman as their mother, im sure they were never under any illusions.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:54 pm

        You have no freaking clue what illusions they were under.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 3:55 pm

        wow….

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:57 pm

        Sorry, I just don’t see how you can say we’re assuming they’re upset, but its ok for you to make many assumptions.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow April 26, 2013, 4:00 pm

        Well, first of all, they share half her DNA and second of all, they were raised by her. I’m sure they know her very well, perhaps understand her very well, and I highly doubt that her article was the first time they ever heard her sentiments.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 4:02 pm

        Sharing dna does not mean you know what other people are feeling. I’m just pointing out that its a major assumption to think the kids knew this already and that they are ok with it, and ok with it being all over the internet.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow April 26, 2013, 4:06 pm

        All I meant by the DNA statement was that whatever makes her tick might be in their blood too. No it doesn’t mean that people magically understand each other. Anyway they’re grown ass adults and if they choose not to associate with their mother anymore after this then that’s their choice.

        I still think a lot of parents resent their kids, or regret having them, for various reasons. It doesn’t mean they can’t/don’t love them or care for them.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 4:12 pm

        I mean obviously I don’t know their situation…but none of us do. I have friends and cousins who’s parents have told them they resent having them and wish they hadn’t etc etc and it really fucks with their minds. It doesn’t matter how old, what your situation, “illusions” etc, people can take it personally and it’s just not a nice thing to say. But what ever. It’s not something that anyone is going to come to agreement on.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom April 28, 2013, 5:25 pm

        Exactly! They will take it personally. They are people with feelings like everyone else. Telling your child that they were a mistake is cruel.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 3:41 pm

        OMG you are taking the words right out of my mouth. absolutely, this, yes.

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      • avatar

        agm May 1, 2013, 12:58 am

        I grew up with a mother like her. Even before she admitted it, I knew that she regretted having children. When she did admit it, it wasn’t a surprise, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Now, years later, I am still discovering all the ways that this knowledge has damaged me. Yes, I was relatively well-cared for, in that I was clothed, fed, and not abused. I had happy times and birthday parties and am a generally functional adult. But I genuinely do not comprehend the concept of unconditional love. I have issues with intimacy and trust. I never experienced the warmth and hugs and “I love you’s” that other people seem to get from their mothers, and for a large chunk of my life I didn’t even know that was the norm. I genuinely do want kids, but I am afraid to be a mother because I worry that the concept of motherhood that I was raised with will ruin them, despite my best intentions.

        I completely agree with the notion that not everyone has to want kids, or should have them, and I even think it is okay to regret having kids. But I think you are foolish to suggest that it does not or should not hurt children to know that they are unwanted or regretted. That stays with a person for a long time, and I hope you have never had to experience it.

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    • avatar

      LT April 26, 2013, 4:50 pm

      What gets me about her is how judgy she is to moms who don’t stay home. Like, she’s saying something that is very revolutionary and it’s “brave” of her to say (though her poor kids!). But then she turns around and insults working parents for a couple of paragraphs. You can tell it’s because she sort of wishes she’d made the same choice, but it makes you think that hey, maybe she should have tried childcare and maybe she’d like her kids more. You know, tried to problem-solve.

      Reply Link
  • gatecrashergirl

    gatecrashergirl April 26, 2013, 1:49 pm

    Am I the only one that read the “I regret having children” article and thought she might be autistic?

    Reply Link
    • FireStar

      FireStar April 26, 2013, 2:51 pm

      I thought something was off about her. She kept stressing how well she parented and how she put her kids first and raised them herself instead of rushing back to work like the selfish, bad mothers and then would say she left her baby at a bakery and only missed the dog and how she would give them to their father the second he was home and would act cooly towards them. It’s like she has no idea what makes a good parent at all. In her world good parent means staying home and having more than one. And that’s it.
      Sad all around.

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    • Jess

      Jess April 26, 2013, 3:41 pm

      Right! I think sociopathic but autistic is another guess. Either way, it could be a person lacking the ability to form attachments. I know she claims to love her husband but I wondered about that.

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    • avatar

      findingtheearth April 26, 2013, 4:49 pm

      In agreement. She is just so detached. All about her – once you have children, your life is not about you.

      I honestly think its something like that, or depression in general. I remember feeling that i loved my daughter, but it took some time to start liking her. Now I adore her.

      I did have to laugh that she said people who only have one kid are selfish. I am an only child, not by choice, but because my mother is diabetic and could not have a second one. She tried, and it literally killed her.

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  • avatar

    SweetPeaG April 26, 2013, 1:59 pm

    Why did these links today make me so sad? Man, that lady that regrets her kids is seriously bumming me out.

    Reply Link
  • Lindsay

    Lindsay April 26, 2013, 2:14 pm

    I can totally relate that one about how she got music from guys she slept with. There have been guys where I’ve been like, “I sure wish I never met him,” but then I’m like, “Oh, wait, then I wouldn’t have started listening to this band (or watching this show) or whatever. It’s probably not as deep as her feelings on it, but it’s definitely something that’s popped into my head.

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 3:00 pm

      My fiance introduced me to like all of the good music I know. When we first started dating he thought I listened to crappy music so he started burning CDs for me each date to “educate” me. It was (and still is) terribly cute.

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    • avatar

      findingtheearth April 26, 2013, 4:42 pm

      One of my exes got me into microbrews/craftbeers. I actually am really grateful for that – it’s a fun hobby I really enjoy.

      Reply Link
  • cmary

    cmary April 26, 2013, 3:00 pm

    Maybe it’s just the way I’m reading it, or my mood or something, but the woman who resents having kids sounds like a real asshole to me. I don’t care how “honest” she’s being. Play the martyr a little more, huh? So, what? She didn’t want kids, but because she vowed to raise them as a devoted mother we should all be impressed? I can’t even keep reading. I do not care what else she has to say.

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary April 26, 2013, 3:05 pm

      It was definitely dripping with mommy martyrdom to me as well. Like “oh I’m so selfless to my husband I gave him children. Then I raised them really well. And my daughter has MS so I care for her full-time and I would cut off an arm for her or her brother. But I still resent them and wish I hadn’t had them”.

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    • FireStar

      FireStar April 26, 2013, 3:14 pm

      I think she fell down on the definition of devoted. I just have no patience for that type of self serving drivel today.

      Reply Link
  • KKZ

    KKZ April 26, 2013, 3:16 pm

    I said it above in a reply and want to restate it here with a little context.

    I work with an organization called Women Writing for a Change with a mission to help all people, and women in particular, find their voices and speak their truths through the act of writing in community. Everyone has the option to share their work out loud with the circle if they so choose. And for many women, it’s the most empowering feeling to *finally* be heard. There are so many things they bottle up out of shame, stories they don’t tell because they assume no one would be interested, emotions they stomp down because other people’s emotions take precedent. In other words, they are essentially silenced. They know their truth privately, but they never share it and never benefit from the simple act of being heard. There’s nothing like saying something you’ve never said out loud before, and being met with compassion. (They are allowed to ask for any feedback they want and the circle must abide.)

    So with that bias, and the additional bias that I myself have no desire to be a mother and would seriously regret having kids, I read that article with a distinct feeling of BRAVO! in my head. For here she is, putting herself out there, being as vulnerable as you can be, stating her personal truth while knowing full well that her truth will not be well-received by the majority of the audience. Too many women worry about how they will be perceived by others, and censor themselves because of it. If this woman were in my circle, I would applaud her for her fearlessness and honesty in the face of cultural expectations of how a mother SHOULD feel. She said it herself – few things are so appalling to our culture as a mother who rejects motherhood. Besides, she seems very strong of character and self-assured, and I doubt very much that the public shaming from this article is going to take any wind out of her sails (for which I again applaud her) – otherwise why would she even write it?

    Ok ok, I’m off my soapbox.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:22 pm

      She could’ve served almost an identical purpose by publishing it anonymously because she thinks of others, specifically her kids, before herself.

      I appreciate your comment and viewpoint, but I’m of the belief that you should do your best not to hurt other people in order to benefit yourself.

      To put your logic in an entirely different way, would you applaud me if I wrote a piece on resenting gay people and wishing they never existed? Because hey, that’s my opinion and I want to have a voice!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:23 pm

        (obviously that’s not my opinion at all, just in case that wasn’t clear!)

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        GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 3:27 pm

        I totally agree. It’s one thing to be childless and share how happy you are and why it was a good choice and to take away some of the “stigma”…but there are kids involved here! Publishing the you resent your kids is going to leave some screwed up kids running around.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:30 pm

        I think that’s where the disconnect is between everyone and katie & kkz. We’re not saying she sucks for having those feelings. We’re not saying every woman should have children.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl April 26, 2013, 3:44 pm

        Yeah, having children isn’t for everyone. it’s an awesome decision to not have children, if it’s the right one for you (my favorite aunt is childless by choice). Be proud! get it into main stream acceptance, etc etc. But when there are children involved you have to be aware of the reprocussions your feelings and opinions will have on those kids.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow April 26, 2013, 3:29 pm

        Talking about resenting gay people is not even close to the same thing as, “I made this choice and now I regret it.”

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:31 pm

        Resenting her children is different than resenting gay people?

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:32 pm

        The result is the same…someone is hurt.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ April 26, 2013, 3:37 pm

        I think there’s some confusion going on here between RESENT and REGRET. One implies hatred and the other, simply doubt.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:43 pm

        She used the word resent, not me.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow April 26, 2013, 3:48 pm

        Yes, it’s entirely different to regret having children due to resenting the independence you feel they took from you, and resenting an entire group of people you don’t know, and whose lives don’t affect you, based on an identity you personally disagree with.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 3:33 pm

        +a million

        this isnt just an opinion, its an experience, its her life, all her own thoughts, feelings and emotions that she is being 100% honest about. thats amazing.

        and, in all honesty, i would bet money many, many other mothers would say the exact same things but are too afraid. its not like she is alone, she is just the only one willing to talk about it.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:35 pm

        Ever think they aren’t afraid, but just don’t want to her hurt their children’s feelings? Or at the very least not make sure its spread all over the internet?

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 3:38 pm

        no, im pretty sure they know that everyone would react exactly as everyone reacted here… she is in general a horrible person, autistic, a terrible parent, sociopath, ect..

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:40 pm

        I think you’d be surprised what is said amongst friends in private.

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 3:46 pm

        what is whispered between friends behind closed doors does nothing to help a society or a culture with something like this.

        thats the same line of thinking that leads men to never care about birth control- all that stuff used to just be whispered about between women in kitchens. the world shouldnt operate that way.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:48 pm

        Anonymous posts on the internet would though.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ April 26, 2013, 3:40 pm

        The internet has a short attention span. In a year, no one’s even going to remember this. It’s not like her kids are going to meet people on the street and go “Oh, so YOU’RE the one whose mother didn’t want to have you!”

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:41 pm

        Except that every time those names are googled, it will show up!

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      • katie

        katie April 26, 2013, 3:48 pm

        how? the kids are mentioned as Stuart and jo- pretty common names. i dont even think they are linked to their last name in the article….

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:50 pm

        Did she not publish her entire name? I assumed she did. The same last name as Stuart. Are we really arguing about whether things written on the internet will have long lasting impact?

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      • theattack

        theattack April 26, 2013, 3:52 pm

        It might be her pen name though. Lots of people write controversial things under made up names.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:54 pm

        Oh, I hope so!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:34 pm

        Anyway, my point was that KKZ said she applauds any woman who has the courage to write an opinion piece even if its a very unpopular opinion. So I was asking how should feel about my fake unpopular opinion.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:36 pm

        Just so we’re clear, I’m not likening unwanted children with gays. I’m simply asking if she would truly applaud every woman’s unpopular, but voiced opinion.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ April 26, 2013, 3:38 pm

        I would applaud you for voicing your truth even if it’s not my truth.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:38 pm

        fair enough then. That’s surprising. Spreading hate is not something I would applaud.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ April 26, 2013, 3:46 pm

        I have training in doing so because of my work with WWFC. As a facilitator I can’t let my personal feelings about a topic color how I treat my students. If I held a circle in which one student shared aloud a scathing anti-gay essay that cut me to my core and made me see red, I would still have to respect them just as much as the next student who wrote a loving, tolerant essay about gays.

        In other words, I have a choice – respond to the content of the essay, or respond to the person who wrote it. In the context of my circles, it’s my responsibility to hold the space open for people to speak their truths. That takes precedent over my own feelings. Would I like that you used my circle to promote a message of hate? Not necessarily. But it’s not my role to silence you – to the contrary, I’m there to hold the microphone, no matter what is spoken into it.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 3:47 pm

        That must be really tough sometimes.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ April 26, 2013, 3:59 pm

        It’s sort of like the ACLU – “I may not agree with what you’re saying, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.”

        Luckily for the time being, I specialize in courses about fiction and the craft of writing, so I have not encountered much material that has made my blood boil, but it does happen in some of the other courses, and it was part of my facilitator training. I have found it helps to remind myself of it even when I’m not in the facilitator’s chair. Like any time I read a patently offensive article and I’m tempted to write back a whole GRRRRR! THIS IS WHY YOU’RE WRONG! response, to gut-check myself and say Hey, what are you reacting to here? What outcome do you expect by reacting? Is it worth your time and energy to publicly state “I disagree”?

        (Yes, I see the irony of discussing this in the comments section of a contentious article. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 4:03 pm

        I’d never be patient enough to have your job!

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      • KKZ

        KKZ April 26, 2013, 4:23 pm

        Well here, let me give an example of a time MY writing rubbed another person the wrong way and how she responded.

        I wrote a long essay about pole dancing, femininity, and feminism, which I was invited to share in a class led by WWFC’s founder. In one section I mentioned strip clubs and how for men, a strip club is a safe place where they don’t have to police themselves in the presence of women, and that I can understand why that would be appealing to them. When the circle was opened up for discussion, one of the women (a longtime WWFC student) thanked me for sharing my essay and then expressed how it was difficult for her to hear because someone close to her had been very severely hurt by the strip club industry. She did not ask me to apologize for sharing what I did, she did not try to talk me out of my neutral-to-favorable perspective on strip clubs, she did not confront me with any kind of anger, and it allowed us to have mutual compassion for each other’s view of the truth. Very powerful moment for me that really illustrated the importance of what we do at WWFC, both mission-wise and with our practices.

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      • Skyblossom

        Skyblossom April 28, 2013, 5:47 pm

        At what point is there a limit? What if someone is calling for people to be killed? Say because of their religion or nationality or sexual orientation?

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest April 26, 2013, 4:14 pm

        ps You are very polite in sharing your opinions on here and I appreciate that. I’m sorry if I came across as bitchy, because I got a little heated.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ April 26, 2013, 4:36 pm

        Thanks! I don’t think you were bitchy at all, I do totally understand your POV on this and it’s how I expected most people to react to that article. If anything I was putting my opinion out there just to balance out the “she’s a sociopath” kind of response, not to talk over it. I mean really, the only thing you and I disagree on is whether she should have published anonymously or not. It’s not like I would have been pissed at her if she hadn’t put her name on the article, I can go both ways on that point. I was personally just glad to see such a taboo notion (mother rejecting motherhood) brought to public light and commend her for her courage in being the one to do so. But I do understand your distaste for her particular method.

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    • katie

      katie April 26, 2013, 3:36 pm

      amen.

      this has to be the first, or one of the first, times that someone has publicly, all out, names and pictures attached, admitted this. but thats terrible because people being shitty parents and not actually wanting kids and having them for terrible reasons happens EVERY DAY and no one talks about it. maybe some woman will read this story and re-think her choice to have kids only because her husband wants them. we need MORE of this, not to stifle it because it makes people uncomfortable.

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    • avatar

      LT April 26, 2013, 4:55 pm

      I get what you’re saying, but she attacks other types of mothers while she explains her story. She didn’t HAVE to spend all her time with her kids, she CHOSE that path, didn’t like it, and insults all mothers who don’t.

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  • Jess

    Jess April 26, 2013, 3:35 pm

    Loved the 3 things about marriage article. There is something terrifying and freeing about putting your marriage/partner above all else.

    The one about wishing she never had kids was chilling. I’d put money on her being a sociopath. Not the serial killer kind. Maybe someone lower on the spectrum but the inability to form bonds or have empathy. Her husband may be an anomaly. The writing struck me very much as sociopathic.

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    • cmary

      cmary April 26, 2013, 3:47 pm

      Yes. Like how she wasn’t concerned when her son was born blue with the umbilical cord around his neck? I was concerned, and he’s not my effing kid.

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      • Jess

        Jess April 26, 2013, 3:48 pm

        Ha! We basically used the same example and reasoning and wrote it at the same time. Cheers!

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      • cmary

        cmary April 26, 2013, 3:57 pm

        I especially like that yours is very well-written and thought out though, and mine is just “Grrr angry I don’t like her.”

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      • Jess

        Jess April 26, 2013, 4:13 pm

        lol! Thanks!

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    • Jess

      Jess April 26, 2013, 3:47 pm

      I’m not trying to stir the pot with everything noted above (which I just read). I have read other articles defending a childless life and I have also read plenty of articles from women who point out the downsides to parenthood and admit to having regrets about some of it. I can easily see an article where someone wonders about the road not taken, even believes it was the path they SHOULD have taken. What strikes me in this article is that lack of an emotional bond. Yes, she made some claims later in the article about growing to love them. But mostly, she talks about going through the motions. I find it very hard to understand how one could feel no attachment to their own child turning blue. Frankly, to ANYONE’s child turning blue. It was those kind of admissions that moved it from an honest portrayal of the choice for/against parenthood to a depiction of a person who is lacking the human empathy and attachment chips. Or at least has a serious shortage in that department.

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      • avatar

        Desiree April 26, 2013, 4:30 pm

        Yeah, I agree with you. Her explanation of her relationship with her children was devoid of any emotional content. Since she claims a happy childhood, I would imagine she has a mental illness that interferes with her bonding ability.

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom April 28, 2013, 6:08 pm

      She also called children parasites who give nothing back but if you love your children they love you in return with a devotion that will never be matched.

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  • Skyblossom

    Skyblossom April 28, 2013, 5:50 pm

    I’ve done just like AP and have my name on the entire sidebar!

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