Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links, August 10

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

From Daily Mail: “The top ten reasons behind a couple’s vacation arguments”

From the Telegraph: “Stressed men prefer larger women”

From Captain Awkward: “My friend group has a case of the Creepy Dude. How do we clear that up?”

From tiny buddha: “7 Ways to Manage a Break and Work Through the Pain”

From Slate: “Four Myths About Single Mothers

From the New York Times: “Raising Successful Children”

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

60 comments… add one
  • iwannatalktosampson

    iwannatalktosampson August 10, 2012, 1:19 pm

    I think every single person in the world should read the creeper article. Seriously. Guys like this exist and by doing nothing people condone their behavior.

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      kerrycontrary August 10, 2012, 1:50 pm

      Agree, it’s a really good explanation of rape culture in the US. And it’s why when you feel like a guy is a f-ing creeper, its most likely because he is. Listen to that intuition ladies.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 10, 2012, 2:00 pm

        Agreed. And I think it’s really sad that I even feel weird saying that guys like this exist and I have encountered many of them. Why should I be wary of admitting that? I guarantee everyone knows one – and if you don’t know any you probably are that creeper. It is so, so common and I get so mad that women are afraid of speaking up because god forbid they be labeled as dramatic or a bitch.

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      • Lili

        Lili August 10, 2012, 2:20 pm

        YES! I feel like everything was said so clearly and simply that next time ANYONE wants to discuss how feminists make a big deal about ‘rape culture’ and how its only in our heads, i will direct them to this article. Its a good reminder that unfortunately, in some ways we all contribute to the problem until we decide enough is enough and vow to Step up. And ban that creep from game night. And stop acting like stranger rape is the only one that matters and can be prevented if we don’t jog after 10 and don’t wear mini skirts and a whole slew of pointless ‘tips’ The link to Thomas’s Meet the Predators article is PURE GOLD. 6 out 7 rapes are done by acquaintances. And the stranger rapes we so fear– direct quote: the stranger rape script did not describe rape as most women experienced it. It’s easy to picture the stranger rapist: a violent criminal, not much different from the violent criminals who commit other violent crimes. This guy was in prison before, and he’ll be back there again, though not for rape because reporting and conviction rates are so low. (See, generally, Susan Brownmiller’s Against Our Will.)
        So PLEASE. Men, women, people who have creep friends–don’t tell another girl to not drink too much and imply if she does, she ‘provoked’ what happened. TELL YOUR CREEPY FRIEND to not look at drunk women as ‘prey’ Period. THE END. SHAME HIM for even contemplating sex with a woman beyond her capacity.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 10, 2012, 2:41 pm

        Preach!

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        Trixy Minx August 10, 2012, 2:58 pm

        I just wanna add that its not just creepers that need to get called out on their behavior. My friend husband suggested that this guy P should start dating this one chick Mel. I asked the guy, why would you ever suggest P to anyone when you know for a fact he emotionally and physically abused his last gf. His response? He’s a good guy SMS he’s probably changed. Uh no guys just don’t change within a month.

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  • Fabelle

    Fabelle August 10, 2012, 2:44 pm

    Ugh, ugh, ugh, that creeper article made me so mad. I’ve encountered guys who act like the ones described (although not as COMPLETELY blatant in their creepiness) & it is true that everybody in the group just writes them off as pathetic but ultimately harmless. Umm, no– anybody who behaves predatorily as a result of their pathetic “sadness” is not harmless.

    The 2nd letter pissed me off a lot more– how is this girl’s boyfriend okay with the fact that his friend groped her?? I mean, if nothing else, that should have been something to address, right? Why is anybody hanging out with this guy anymore? (These are all rhetorical, the reply in the link does a great job of explaining everything, & I agree with IWTTS that EVERYBODY should read it)

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson August 10, 2012, 2:51 pm

      I agree. I just wish EVERYONE realized they can make a difference. Guys – quit being friends with guys like this. You are the company you keep. Girls – who cares if some douche thinks you’re dramatic – stand up against creepy behavior.

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  • iwannatalktosampson

    iwannatalktosampson August 10, 2012, 2:51 pm

    I am really happy that stressed men like larger women. My lack of a diet appreciates that statistic.

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  • Budj

    Budj August 10, 2012, 2:51 pm

    Maybe I live in a weird zone or have a weird group of friends, but creepers get called out when we see them? Creepers are obvious, uncomfortable, potentially dangerous…and without a doubt suck “cool factor” out of your posse….

    no creepers allowed.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson August 10, 2012, 2:58 pm

      I like your attitude.

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      • Budj

        Budj August 10, 2012, 3:01 pm

        creepers make me feel weird too, haha, I don’t get the big deal about calling them out…and when you have all the girls in a friend group bitching about a guy being creepy then the guy is creepy…

        and if a guy touched my hypothetical girl friend while she was passed out he wouldn’t be hanging out with my friends anymore or if he still was after I expressed an opinion I would find new friends. I mean..the non-chalant attitude that guy had was really strange to me.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 10, 2012, 3:09 pm

        Creepers are huge cock blocks. That is a scientific fact.

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        Addie Pray August 10, 2012, 4:31 pm

        hellooo, i can see you flirting with my boyfriend.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 10, 2012, 4:39 pm

        Is that why above you said good job lilipants and not good job IWTTS. You know I am insecure and need constant assurances that I’m hilarious and witty.

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        Addie Pray August 10, 2012, 5:23 pm

        Well, that was more because I read her comment and liked — but, like, I didn’t read the rest…. *But*… good job, iwannatalktosampsonpants!

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    • katie

      katie August 10, 2012, 3:32 pm

      i feel the same way budj- i have never been friends with a creeper just because someone else liked him, or we all tolerated the bahavior or whatever… creepers were cut out. quickly. and if they werent, we (as in my group of girlfriends) wouldnt hang out, and so if the boys wanted to hang with us they had to ditch the creeper!

      that might sound bad, but that was how we rolled.

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      • Budj

        Budj August 10, 2012, 3:33 pm

        It’s actually a good strategy…if girls aren’t present if the creeper is with the guys….then the guys quickly get rid of the creeper if that happens consistently.

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      • katie

        katie August 10, 2012, 3:45 pm

        exactly!

        haha, i dont know if you take it this far, but when i was with my friend in portland, her boyfriend and his cousins and brothers came out with us (they are mexican- big mexican guys, you know), and they literally would not let any guy even get near us. if any guys even looked at us, my friends boyfriend and his little posse stepped up and told them to keep walking and that we werent available to dance with that night or whatever. i think that might be a little too far in the other direction, lol, but it worked.

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      • Lili

        Lili August 10, 2012, 4:05 pm

        Katie, I have issues with this as well. I think any sort of ‘protecting’ the girls mentality still perpetuates a women is lesser than men mentality and can’t think and protect herself. I mean, you are all grown (i’m assuming since going out implies at least 18 yr old women) women. It shouldn’t be up to a man to decide who can and cannot talk to you. What if it was a male cousin who was being creepy to YOU. this same ‘protection’ would have kept him, the man safe and it would have silenced you, the woman.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 10, 2012, 4:36 pm

        Yeah I don’t find it gentlemanly for guys to protect me. Occasionally I have to set Ethan straight when he tells me I shouldn’t go grab a drink with a friend at a certain bar because there is a rougher crowd that hangs out there. It’s insulting. It’s like have you not seen my gangster ninja moves? You should be more worried about the guy that gets creepy with me. He won’t even know what hit him.

        But seriously guys, yoga has given me some badass biceps. Ugh just thinking about it I want to listen to pieces of me and go break some 2×4’s.

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      • katie

        katie August 10, 2012, 4:56 pm

        yea it was weird. it was fine for the night, because i was there to see my friend and our other best friend came with me, and we met her friend there (so 4 girls) and i had no interest of even talking to anyone that night… like, i had 3 and a half days to see my friends who i hadnt seen in however many years, i dont care that you want to buy me a drink.

        if it happened all the time i would totally hate it and make them stop. or not go out with them.

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    • bagge72

      bagge72 August 10, 2012, 3:44 pm

      I agree, if it is actually one of my friends, or some random guy we will all call him out on it. For some reason girls don’t do the same thing though, they feel bad for them for some reason.

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  • bagge72

    bagge72 August 10, 2012, 2:26 pm

    Ya know what, there are so many girls with guy friends liek this, and I see girls getting warned all of the time about so and so being creepy (mostly, because the guy is jealous), and they do nothing about it, because they are just used to this guy acting this way. The always complain about it behing the creepy dudes back, but never say anything to his face, and just cut contact with him, and let him do it to other people.
    There is this kid that makes my fiancee, and all of her friends uncomfortable when he gets drunk, and they complain about him all of the time, but they don’t want me to say anything, and they just let it go, because he is halfway normal when he is sober, and they have known him forever. I just want to be like, stop complaining if you aren’t going to say something to him.

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    • Lili

      Lili August 10, 2012, 2:34 pm

      Bagge, I mean this with all respect but maybe you should ask her why she feels like she can’t speak to him. I’m pretty sure it’ll have something to do with societal impositions on women tat encourage us to not ‘rock the boat’ in regards to accepting and tolerating creepy behavior. Women often wrestle with looking like a drama queen bitch (see schrodinger’s rapist) if they voice their discomfort, so out of necessity and societal rules many learn to put up with it. Instead of getting all ‘stop complaining if you aren’t going to say something’ about it, maybe try to start a dialogue about empowering her to feel comfortable enough to assert her views and not be judged for it.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 10, 2012, 2:43 pm

        WLS. Or, talk to him yourself, Bagge! Maybe he’ll actually listen to another bro. You don’t need your fiance’s permission to speak up if you KNOW he’s making not only her, but all her friends uncomfortable.

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        Trixy Minx August 10, 2012, 2:52 pm

        Lili is on a roll!

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        ele4phant August 10, 2012, 3:44 pm

        Word. It seems like its drilled into us that its worse to be seen a bitch then it is to be made uncomfortable by a guy’s inappropriate behavior, hence a lot of women feel uncomfortable sticking up for themselves.

        I also think CatsMeow has a point that it may be more effective for another guy to raise the issue than for a woman to do it. Unfortunately, there’s a creeper backlash (usually by the guys who are suprise-suprise, truly creepy), and if women dare call a guy creepy its not because he is, its because she’s trying to “make him feel bad”. I think that sentiment even showed up here when one of the commenters (DMR? – Sorry if its not actually you who said that DMR but its what I remember off the top of my head) said he was going to ignore anything to do with creepy, that it wasn’t a legitimate thing.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 10, 2012, 4:12 pm

        YES! He said that in response to something I said because I called a guy’s behavior. Oh my gosh thank you for bringing this up I didn’t at the time and I didn’t know how to today. I will call someone creepy every single fucking time someone does something creepy. It is a word and I’ll use it. If it makes a guy uncomfortable too fucking bad. Stop acting creepy and I will quit calling you creepy.

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        ele4phant August 10, 2012, 4:19 pm

        You know, I understand there are some women who deliberately use this word to shut men down, and not because they are being genuinely creepy. But these women are few and far between. Most women call men creepy when they are actually being creepy.

        So men, if you get called creepy ONCE and are otherwise an upstanding citizen, go ahead and ignore it. But if it happens on more than one occasion, by more than one woman, in more than one context, guess what my friend, you are being creepy. Don’t blame it on women trying to make you feel bad or manipulate you. Its you, you are the common thread, and even if its unintentional, you are being creepy.

        And women who use this term indiscriminately, stop it. You’re ruining it for the rest of it. “Thanks but no thanks” works just fine on a guy who is decent.

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        Addie Pray August 10, 2012, 4:30 pm

        You go, Lilipants!

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      • bagge72

        bagge72 August 10, 2012, 3:37 pm

        Oh I know why none of them will talk to him, it’s because he has been friends with them so long that they give him a pass now that he is creepy, and they don’t want to hurt his feelings, because he clearly has a problem with them all being in relationships now. I would say something, but nobody wants me to, because again they don’t want his feelings hurt, and they have known him too long. I don’t think it has anything to do with looking like a drama queen, or asserting her views, because they all feel that way, so who is going to be the one to judge them for saying it?

        I honestly think that some girls as much as it is creepy, and as much as they complain about it crave the attention. It is just when it gets taken way to far like it was in those letters that the women actually care, and by that point sometimes it is just to late.

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        ele4phant August 10, 2012, 3:46 pm

        “I honestly think that some girls as much as it is creepy, and as much as they complain about it crave the attention.”

        I don’t like this. I hope reading it back you can hear how problematic it is.

        I don’t know your girlfriend, or her friends, but I can’t say I know any girls who enjoy being the brunt of creepy behavior.

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      • katie

        katie August 10, 2012, 3:51 pm

        i think i get what he is saying- he means that there are women out there who will accept creepy attention because they are willing to accept ANY attention. kind of like an animal will do bad things for attention? any attention is good attention kind of thing?

        that is a huge problem. women should not be so insecure or whatever the case may be that they think simultaneously that this is creepy but omg he is talking to me!

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 10, 2012, 3:56 pm

        And I think IF women enjoy attention that the rest of us might label “creepy” it’s still just a result of this rape culture we’re talking about… like, they only feel validated if men find them sexually appealing. It’s taught to women beginning at SUCH an early age that our self-worth is determined by wheher or not a man finds us attractive.

        And I truly hope you didn’t mean it this way, Bagge, but if a woman invites/enjoys a man’s attention, and it then veers into “creepy” territory, it is NOT her fault for wanting/craving the attention in the first place. Acting/dressing a certain way doesn’t give a man a right to do something inappropriate.

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        ele4phant August 10, 2012, 3:59 pm

        Exactly. Do some women want attention from any direction? Without a doubt. Does that mean they are deserving of whatever sort of inappropriate attention they receive? Absolutely not.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 10, 2012, 4:00 pm

        Yeah, that’s the short and straightforward way to say what I was trying to say. Ha. My brain feels cloudy today.

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      • bagge72

        bagge72 August 10, 2012, 4:14 pm

        I don’t understand where I said women deserve inappropriate attention they are getting, and maybe it did sound that way, but that isn’t what I said. I think what happens here is we have a certain group of women on this website that don’t put up with shit from anybody, but as soon as people say what they see in the real world from most everyone else then we get jumped on for saying that. Then people start putting words in peoples mouths like we do with the LW’s. Some how this turned into me saying what I see, and actually being confirmed by the letters we read on that website, because those women have been putting up with it, and won’t confront that person, to me saying that I think women deserve inapproprate attention, or that I think my fiancee seeks out creepy behavior, because I gave an example of something, and then in a differenct post put that some women seek out this attention.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 10, 2012, 4:21 pm

        But Bagge I think that’s the whole problem. It goes down in the real world exactly the way you described it. With no one being willing to cut strings with creeps. What I am saying – and I’m not speaking for anyone else – is that guys being creepy is EVERYONE’s problem – not just a female problem. Like you should tell your girlfriend you’re not hanging out with him because his creepy behavior makes YOU uncomfortable. Like why aren’t you uncomfortable associating yourself with someone like that?

        I really like you and I hope you understand my YOU is more just like males in general. But I think the reaction of your girlfriends friends is exactly the problem – and everyone should try to fix it.

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      • bagge72

        bagge72 August 10, 2012, 4:23 pm

        Honestly I will fix it if it ever gets as far as it did in those letters, but I’m pretty sure all of these girls would hate me if I fixed it before that.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 10, 2012, 4:29 pm

        Listen i’m not worried about me – I’m a feisty little shit and if you try to kill me I will kill you back. But not all women can stand up for themselves and honestly I get better at it all the time. But I hate that somehow creepy male behavior is a problem women are solely responsible for fixing. It’s EVERYONE’S PROBLEM.

        And again I hope you don’t take this personally – but there are great people in the world – why do you feel the need to hang out with this guy? Why can’t you personally say to your girlfriend – hey I get that you have been friends with him forever but I just can’t hang out with such a creepy guy. I feel like it’s condoning his behavior – and most importantly I just don’t want to be associated with people like him. His actions are embarrassing.

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        ele4phant August 10, 2012, 4:23 pm

        I’m not trying to put words in your mouth, or accuse you here, nor do I necessarily think you are trying to intentionally say anything of the sort.

        But do consider how your words are being interpreted. I’m not the only one who took offense, so consider what sorts of implications you are unintentionally making.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 10, 2012, 4:36 pm

        “Some how this turned into me saying what I see, and actually being confirmed by the letters we read on that website, because those women have been putting up with it, and won’t confront that person, to me saying that I think women deserve inapproprate attention”

        I’m sorry, but putting up with shit and not confronting someone is NOT the same as enjoying the attention of a creep. And the article we’re all referencing talks about exactly why women and men often don’t confront these types of men.

        I’m still also wondering if we’re defining creepy in the same way. Creepy is obviously subjective – but I think it would include UNWANTED advances. Or guys who target the women who are too drunk to resist. Or guys who think it’s OK to grope you just because you’re dancing with the girls at a club, or wearing a low-cut shirt that shows your cleavage. Or guys who rub their erection on you on the dance floor. Or guys that wait until you’re passed out to touch you inappropriately.

        Approaching a woman at a bar or on the dance floor is not inherently creepy. Trying to hit on her is not inherently creepy. If she’s out and about looking hot and having fun, chances are she might be trying to meet a guy! But that doesn’t mean a guy can grope her or continue to harass her if she says or indicates she’s not interested.

        Just because you don’t “observe” women standing up to creeps in the “real world” does NOT mean that they’re encouraging and/or enjoying that behavior.

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      • Lili

        Lili August 10, 2012, 4:46 pm

        You Rock. Period. The End.

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        Jiggs August 11, 2012, 12:28 pm

        I just want to say it is not our job as women to reform every creepy douche on this planet. If your fiancee feels uncomfortable speaking to him about it, she feels uncomfortable. Full stop. It is not her job to gently guide him to be a non-creeper. Maybe she feels because he has been part of the group so long her friends wouldn’t have her back if she confronted him. Maybe she’s not comfortable with confrontation. Maybe she knows him well enough to know he would laugh her off, or she wouldn’t feel safe. Not everyone has the personality where they can charge up to someone (even a good friend someone – and sometimes that even makes it harder) and be like HEY YOU ARE BEING CREEPY STOP IT. And it doesn’t make their behaviour less creepy or less worthy of complaint because you can’t say it to their face.

        I respect that it must be hard to watch your fiancee essentially be mistreated by this guy and not do anything/not let you do anything, but I think you need to be more understanding that she obviously has her reasons for not confronting this guy. It is really, really hard to do, especially to a good friend, especially in a group. You become The Troublemaker or the Fun Ruining Bitch, and I suspect your fiancee senses that may be the fallout. Her complaints are serious and perhaps the only way she feels she can safely address the situation.

        RE: women want creepy attention. No woman wants creepy attention. HOWEVER. Creepiness is subjective. If I want you to put your arm around me and you do, not creepy! If I don’t want you to put your arm around me and you do, and I move away and you do it again, SUPER CREEPY. I get to decide to have different boundaries with different people. It’s not respecting those boundaries that becomes creepy.

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      • bagge72

        bagge72 August 10, 2012, 4:02 pm

        I don’t read this and see how problematic it is, because I’m just telling you what I see, I don’t create this situation.

        I cans say truthfully that everytime I have ever gone to a bar, I have seen this happen.

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      • Lili

        Lili August 10, 2012, 4:07 pm

        So…don’t be like LW2’s bf. Say something.

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        ele4phant August 10, 2012, 4:09 pm

        Essentially, I think CatsMeow and I were interpreting it as thus:

        Some women want attention, so they get creepy attention, and that’s basically their fault. If they didn’t crave attention, then they wouldn’t take it from creepy guys, then it wouldn’t be a problem.

        The onus shouldn’t be on women to guard against guys who might be creepy, it should be on men to not be creepy.

        I obviously hope any woman who has low self-esteem works on it and gains self-respect for herself, and thus learns to standup for herself. But at the same time, you know, don’t be creepy just because there’s an opportunity to get away with it.

        Now I acknowledge that may not be AT ALL what you meant to say, but it is how it is being interpreted, so I respectfully invite you to consider the implications of your phrasing.

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      • Lili

        Lili August 10, 2012, 4:11 pm

        “The onus shouldn’t be on women to guard against guys who might be creepy, it should be on men to not be creepy.”

        PREACH.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 10, 2012, 4:11 pm

        I think you might need to provide some examples. Do we have different ideas of what’s considered creepy/inappropriate?

        Women do lots of things to invite attention of men. Women, especially in a bar/club setting, are going to do things to invite the *sexual* attention of men. But that doesn’t mean that they want or deserve said men’s actions to veer into creep territory. And that doesn’t mean that if a guy does something seriously inappropriate that she can’t call him out on it.

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      • bagge72

        bagge72 August 10, 2012, 4:21 pm

        I don’t remember saying that girls invite guys to be inappropriate or deserve it. I first said I think there are girls who enjoy the attention, and then I said I see this at bars all of the time girls enjoying creepy behavior. I see groups of girls all of the time at bars dancing with each other, and some obviously creepy guy comes by, and starts acting weird, and then the girls all of the sudden either think it is funny to mess with this guy, and start dancing with him, and stuff like that, and then the creepy guy gets all into it, and just takes it to far.

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      • Lili

        Lili August 10, 2012, 5:08 pm

        “I see groups of girls all of the time at bars dancing with each other, and some obviously creepy guy comes by, and starts acting weird, and then the girls all of the sudden either think it is funny to mess with this guy, and start dancing with him, and stuff like that, and then the creepy guy gets all into it, and just takes it to far.”

        I dont understand this. Like how do we know a guy’s a creep when we first meet him. because its tattooed on his forehead? And sometimes, the creep is cute and ‘normal’ looking. so we don’t know how to interpret it. People like to meet people-whether its just to pass 5 min with, or to dance for an hr with when we go out. Its hard to know off the bat who will or won’t be creepy. I dont enjoy creepy behavior, but I do like making connections with people. Will I be at fault if the new person is a creep? In this society. yes. In the way you phrased the scenario, yes as well. But I shouldn’t be.

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        ele4phant August 10, 2012, 5:18 pm

        Yep. I have never been part of, seen or heard of a situation where a guy approaches a group of girls and is obvisouly sexually aggressive and threatening (you know creepy) and the group of girls decided to “mess with him until it got too far”.

        I HAVE been part of, seen, and heard situations where a group of girls is approached by a guy who at first is seemingly innocuous, so they let him stick around, because when you go out meeting new people is fine. However, they shortly discover that he oops, he’s totally creepy.

        If ONLY guys came with a disclaimer, a whole lot of these situations would be avoided in the first place. But you can’t always tell just from a glance who’s going to be fun, and who’s going to make you uncomfortable.

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        painted_lady August 10, 2012, 9:04 pm

        DEFINITELY. The closest thing I can think of is at a club I went to in college, there was this older guy – 60ish – who would come out on Friday nights and flirt with the college girls. It was sort of a hippie bar, so no one wanted to be derisive or cruel or make fun of him for being there, and he seemed harmless (in our naive little heads, we never thought *he* thought we were taking him seriously), so we’d dance with him (don’t want to be rude!), chat with him (it’s just talking!), let him sit with us (he seems lonely!), and then when he asked a girl out, he’d get shot down (usually nicely – we had given him the impression that we were interested, after all), and then he wouldn’t take the hint and either keep pestering the first girl or move on to new prey, who by then of course knew that he was completely in earnest, so would try to avoid him, and it always ended either in a girl being impolite and shouting at him or asking for help from the bar staff. Each time it was like, “Well, you led him on! Quit being such a drama queen – if you don’t want men harassing you, you should stop flirting!” But the handful of girls who were assertive early on in the evening were labeled snobby bitches (“Come on! He’s just trying to have a good time!”). So there was no winning. Any rejection of this guy whatsoever would have been a “bitchy” move, and so if he targeted us I guess the only way not to get static was to have sex with him.

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      • Lili

        Lili August 10, 2012, 3:52 pm

        Are you including your fiancee in this category of women who crave attention even if its from creeps? Please say no Bagge…And, just because someone has been friends for a while doesn’t give them an excuse to behave this way. Its like…excusing the racist friend for always saying offensive things about Asians because he’s been that way for so long. I’m sorry but I’d speak up to racist friends, no matter if it was what others wanted or not. As I would to creepy friends. And its never too late. Just because I was lazy when he made the comment last week about ‘blacks’ doesn’t mean I give up the right to say something when he talks about ‘the asians’ this week.

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    • bagge72

      bagge72 August 10, 2012, 4:26 pm

      Ok my friends, I’m getting out of here, time to go home I hope I didn’t lose any friends today, I like you all 🙂 and I also like arguing, so just know that I take everything seriously, but never hate on anyone for a good debate no matter how assholish I may sound!

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        ele4phant August 10, 2012, 4:30 pm

        We know, we like you to (and we also love a good debate). That’s why we feel the need to hound you when you say something unintentional and uncharacteristically assholish. We fully would expect the same in return.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow August 10, 2012, 9:05 pm

        Don’t worry, we still like you. Thanks for the debate.

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        convexed August 11, 2012, 9:54 pm

        Oh my goodness, I just love this sign off and response! There are moments of friendship and civility on dw that make me wanna shout from the rooftops ‘Internet, LEARN!’

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark August 10, 2012, 7:39 pm

    Yeah, there’s nothing I want more whenever I am stressed than some great big blob of a man… C’mon! Seriously? Okay, that has to be the dumbest article I’ve ever read in a long, long time. And I very much doubt it has even the slightest basis in fact or reality. Sorry… I just don’t buy a word of it.

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