Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links, August 2

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“It’s like I’m Joan and their vag is the arc…It’s like Santa for your vagina.” Says Mini Tampon Queen in an ad for new company, HelloFlo, a tampon delivery/ period reminder service.

“Shunning Plus-Size Shoppers Is Key To Lululemon’s Strategy, Insiders Say” [via HuffPo]

My neighbor and friend has just written and sold a book (not yet published) about her raising a cross-dressing son (he is in his 20s now and performs at drag shows here in NYC). My own son, while very boy-ish, occasionally likes to carry my purse around pretending to be mama and has shown some interest in playing dress-up. I encourage all his interests, but I do sometimes wonder how it might feel if one day he says he’d like to wear a dress to the playground instead of jeans. Will I be enlightened enough to allow that? Will Drew? Here, a mother tackles that issue in “. [via A Mother Thing] “>Getting Personal.” [via A Mother Thing]

In response: “There Has to Be a Better Way to Sell Tampons” [via The Atlantic]

This banana slicer saves marriages. Oh yes, read the comments! [via Amazon]

Two platonic friends decide to date each other for 40 days and see what happens. They document their project with daily updates at 40 Days of Dating (new posts will go up through August 16). [40 Days of Dating]

I was supposed to end up alone: I spent my 20s worried that the hookup hand-wringers were right. I shouldn’t have, and you shouldn’t either” [via Salon]

“My Birth Control Almost Killed Me” [via HuffPo]

“Masturbation, Nudists, and Street Interviews: An Oral History of HBO’s Real Sex” [via Vulture]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

229 comments… add one
  • avatar

    kerrycontrary August 2, 2013, 10:39 am

    I like “i was supposed to end up alone”. So I was the hookup queen in college. And by the time I graduated college I was TIRED. I had been with so many men, partied like crazy, had a million different friends, and been through a lot of good, bad, and dangerous situations. So even though I was young I had a lot of experiences and when I met my boyfriend I was sort of like “yeh, I’ve been there done that, I could just be with someone for the rest of my life now. I could give up being single”. I’m glad I had those experiences and found out what I liked and didn’t like. Had my heart broken, put it back together. Now I know that when I get married I won’t be missing out on anything.

    Reply Link
    • KKZ

      KKZ August 2, 2013, 12:16 pm

      I thought the article itself was excellent, then made the mistake of going to read the comments. I was expecting, I don’t know why, at least a few hearty “hear hears!” from other sex-positive feminists. What I got was misogyny, hate, and “I know you better than you do, Author.” UGH.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary August 2, 2013, 12:22 pm

        Yeh I just think it’s a nice article that fights against the idea that girls who have been around the block won’t be “wife material” (blech!). Or that there’s this old idea that there are Marilyns and then there are Jackies. You’re either a wife or you’re a whore. And really neither is true.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 2, 2013, 12:25 pm

        Oh god, I was not expecting the comments to be that terrible even after I read your post. WTF

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 12:41 pm

        Right?

        Bear was watching a Fox News reaction to that one scholar who committed the terrible sin of writing a book about Jesus while also (GASP) being Muslim. They had a commentator on there, a “media expert,” spouting off such hateful rhetoric that I made him stop the video halfway through, I felt like vomiting. And it made me realize just how selective I am in my media consumption, to the point that I forgot idiots like this exist.

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid August 2, 2013, 1:58 pm

        That whole Fox news thing with Reza Aslan makes my blood boil

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 2:06 pm

        Same here. That “media expert” was claiming that If Aslan wrote a book about Jesus saying what he did, that makes him a bad Muslim.

        W. T. F. How can you, a past-middle-age white dude who is a MEDIA expert (not a Ph.D. in religious studies) and has ostensibly never even met Aslan, where do you get off calling him a bad Muslim?!!!

        Makes me all punchy. But that’s what they WANT – if I get angry, they win.

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph August 2, 2013, 3:11 pm

        No, no look them up. The so-called media expert is from the benignly named “Media Research Center”… which is actually a Christian watchdog agency.

        The guy sits there and accuses him of spin and a hidden agenda while secretly being COATED and DRIPPING with the same.

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      • avatar

        rachel August 2, 2013, 3:13 pm

        No, it’s okay if it’s a hidden *Christian* agenda.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 3:14 pm

        Rachel, I think you’re confused. There’s no such thing as a hidden Christian agenda. That’s called the truth.

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid August 2, 2013, 3:21 pm

        BAH!!! You should hear Norther Merman about this stuff. He just loses it.

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph August 2, 2013, 4:00 pm

        Oh, of course. Silly me.

        Man I always get confused about what things are ok when Christians do it, but evil when other people do it…

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      • avatar

        Liquid Luck August 2, 2013, 8:14 pm

        It’s super easy to remember, I’ll give you a trick:

        EVERYTHING is okay if done by fanatical Christians in the name of Jesus. NOTHING is okay if it’s done by non-Christians.

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  • Fabelle

    Fabelle August 2, 2013, 10:42 am

    I love when people go all out in the Amazon comment/review section, that’s the kind of thing that really makes me love humanity.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 10:45 am

      My favorite was the Bic Pen for Women. I read every single comment, haha.

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    • avatar

      bethany August 2, 2013, 10:55 am

      This “recipe” always gets me, too:
      http://www.food.com/recipe/ice-cubes-420398

      Reply Link
      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 2, 2013, 11:05 am

        hahaha, I love it!

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      • othy

        othy August 2, 2013, 12:00 pm

        This is my favorite of the ice ones: “I wanted to make your recipe but our well ran dry, so I didn’t have any water to make ice. Since I was having a party, I really had to come up with a clear liquid substitute so I would have ice on hand. A word of warning: when you make vodka cubes your BIL will hit a tree with his new car and your sister will never speak to you again.”

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      • avatar

        Liquid Luck August 2, 2013, 8:15 pm

        That’s just ridiculous. Everyone knows that you can’t make ice with vodka, just like you can’t actually turn grain alcohol into jello shots. That commenter is obviously lying 😉

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      • Miss MJ

        Miss MJ August 2, 2013, 3:07 pm

        Awesome!

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 10:44 am

    So I have a pretty controversial opinion on the lululemon link, but I’m scared to share it. Someone else say something controversial first!

    Reply Link
    • mrmidtwenties

      mrmidtwenties August 2, 2013, 10:50 am

      You can’t tease us like that LBH, you gotta spill it.

      Reply Link
    • Fabelle

      Fabelle August 2, 2013, 10:50 am

      I think my opinion might be controversial as well. Like, I’m not going to be all, “Well HELLOOOO they’re a fitness brand, & UM, plus-sized people don’t do fitness, tee-hee” like the comments I’ve seen elsewhere…I do ~not~ agree with that faulty, assholish sentiment— BUT I *do* think it’s the store’s prerogative what they carry? There are stores that cater to plus-sizes, & there are stores that cater to smaller people (does anyone remember 5-7-9?) and then there are stores that cater to all. So I think it’s fine.

      However, I realize I don’t share the experiences of plus-sized women, who I hear do really have trouble finding appropriate clothing. So I try to limit the opinion I spout off on this subject. (I will say that sizing in general is so, so, fucking shitty though. It’s wildly variant. I’m at the point where I DGAF, I just size shit up with my eyeballs)

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 10:56 am

        I agree with you in general. If stores are expected to carry all sizes, at what point does that stop? At a certain point, people are too big to do yoga anyway, and stores can’t carry really big sizes on the off chance that a 700 pound person wants to buy yoga pants.

        But size 14? That’s really not all that big. That has to be a super common size for women. It’s really just poor business. They’re missing a huge population they could make money on.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 10:58 am

        They don’t sell size 14? That seems ridiculous. I actually (oops) didn’t read the article, just the headline.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 2, 2013, 10:59 am

        Yeah, I’m actually just reading the article now, too 😐 haha

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 11:05 am

        Maybe I jumped to a conclusion, but I think they said it stops at size 12, and that they relegate the 10s and 12s to a bin under a table at the back of a store instead of displaying them or stocking them with everything else. Tens!!!

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:03 am

        Size 14 is apparently the most common size of US women. I actually find that completely shocking, but apparently I come from a very thin and health conscious family.

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      • katie

        katie August 2, 2013, 11:10 am

        well you might just come from a small family too, and like literally small.

        one thing that i think is ridiculous about stuff like this is the arbitrary small = healthy thought. there are people out there who are a size 14 and perfectly healthy and good at yoga. i actually wonder how many olympic athletes can fit into these clothes.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:12 am

        My family is actually fairly “big” people. Tall and broad. We all live a pretty active lifestyle on a quasi-farm so we’re all fairly fit.

        I do completely agree that that is a healthy/active 14 and then there is not. My mom and my aunt are great examples of that. They are just about the same build, but she has like 30 pounds of chub on her belly when my mom has muscular legs/arms from working. Their body shapes are completely different even though they wear the same size and are about the same weight.

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      • othy

        othy August 2, 2013, 12:02 pm

        I’m a size 14 and I run half marathons.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 12:04 pm

        Show off

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      • othy

        othy August 2, 2013, 12:09 pm

        🙂

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      • avatar

        painted_lady August 2, 2013, 12:59 pm

        Yeah, about 50% of my derby league are girls who are well into double digit sizes, and a lot of us not only do some type of really intense exercise every day, but some of us twice on the days we have practice (gym in the morning, practice in the evening). We regularly skate at least ten miles outdoors and haven’t lost anyone on those skates. You can’t say we’re not in shape! And yet, partly because of the body types derby attracts, and partly because of what constant intense skating does to your body, there’s only a handful of girls I would describe as small. In fact, I’ve lost 20 pounds, but all of my pants are tighter than when I started playing,

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 11:12 am

        Size 14 is really not that big though.

        This is a neat tool where you can type in height and size and see photos of women in those dimensions. It’s pretty eye opening.

        http://www.mybodygallery.com/index.html

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:22 am

        If I look like the girls that come up with my specs, well I’d be shocked. I feel much fluffier.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 11:29 am

        Yeah, that’s the point of the tool, I think. It’s to replace false images of what we think we look like. A way to correct mild body dysmorphia I think.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 11:37 am

        I liked it. I’d say its pretty accurate when I looked at people my size.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 2, 2013, 11:48 am

        Same here. I almost want to upload myself to add to the collection.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:45 am

        Oh I don’t have mild body dysmorphia…I think mine’s pretty extreme. I fully acknowledge my eating issues and prejudices against overweight individuals. It’s something I’ve struggled with since high school.

        I was just trying on swim suits for our beach trip this weekend and GGuy was like “you look hot!” and in my mind I just see XYZ that’s wrong. It’s a pretty big issue I struggle with.

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      • Heather

        Heather August 2, 2013, 7:58 pm

        The struggle is definitely real. I look at myself and, although I think of myself as relatively confident, I still see flaw after flaw after flaw. Huge pores. My tummy pouch. My short legs, etc. People get the inkling I feel this way and combat it “you look fine!” and it’s hard to believe them!

        But then, when the tables are turned and my friends say those things about themselves, I’m really shocked. They’ll say “I think I’m fat” etc. and I’m like, girl you’re kidding, you’re beautiful! I think it’s really amazing how we see different things you know?

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      • Copa

        Copa August 2, 2013, 12:01 pm

        Hmm. This website reminded me that I’m about 15 lbs heavier than I think I should ideally be. 🙁

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 2, 2013, 12:16 pm

        WTF there are no images for my criteria. I don’t exist.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 2, 2013, 2:43 pm

        Upload yourself!

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      • cmary

        cmary August 5, 2013, 12:44 pm

        Me neither! I feel so much better about myself now that it’s confirmed that I’m a freak of nature.

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      • avatar

        rachel August 2, 2013, 1:28 pm

        I love this site. It’s nice to see what other women my size look like. I think, sometimes I feel huge, and sometimes I feel I look better than I do. It’s nice to have a realistic view.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 1:55 pm

        I’m glad someone else liked it! It helps me get in perspective too. I suddenly went from really tiny and underweight my whole life (like size 0-size 2) to average but could lose 10-15 pounds (size 8 ish but flabby right now). The sudden change makes me feel like a whale even though I know logically that I’m not. Looking at other women who I think are attractive really helps when I’m down on myself.

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      • avatar

        rachel August 2, 2013, 2:31 pm

        Yeah, it’s hard though – even when I look at some of the women my size and think they look good, I still think they must carry it better than I do. Which is just dumb. Maybe their jeans just fit better or something.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 2:32 pm

        Seriously, it could be the jeans, haha. I can wear one pair and look like i’m in great shape, another pair and look horribly out of shape.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 2, 2013, 2:45 pm

        It could be the photo as well. I take pictures of myself a lot (I actually recommend this to anyone who’s feeling insecure) & in some pictures I look RIPPED & in others, more flabby. It’s weird.

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      • Copa

        Copa August 2, 2013, 11:27 am

        I agree! Excluding examples like the A&F CEO saying he didn’t want fat people wearing his brand because his brand is exclusively for attractive people — seriously, wtf? — I generally dislike when a store that doesn’t cater to plus sizes is given a hard time for it.

        I’ve gained weight in the past few years (waaaah!), but when I was in college (probably 20-ish), I was approached by a sales associate at Nordstrom as I perused some designer jeans and told that the store did not carry sizes SMALL enough to fit me. I think if the same thing had happened to a plus-sized person, but they’d been told that the store didn’t have large enough sizes, it would’ve been controversial & plus-size shaming. But when you’re small and they don’t carry your size, it’s somehow considered different.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary August 2, 2013, 11:52 am

        Yeh, I agree about the small thing. I used to be below a size zero and I’m 5’8″ so it was really difficult to find clothing. But no one saw it as an issue or something to cry about. If there’s something that’s out of the range of normal about your body you are just going to have a harder time finding clothes. But being that the avg american woman wears a size 14, I think most stores should carry up to a 16.

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    • theattack

      theattack August 2, 2013, 10:51 am

      Something controversial.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 10:56 am

      Ok, so I told katie, so I’ll just say it.
      So i think it makes sense they stock more smaller sizes bc most people who work out are smaller sizes. Of course plenty of bigger sized people work out too, just not as much as smaller ones? And if you are really getting into working out and losing weight, you likely plan on losing some weight, so you wouldn’t go buy expensive workout clothes that hopefully won’t fit soon. It just seems to make sense from a business perspective.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:00 am

        I don’t think that’s controversial at all LBH. It makes perfect sense to me.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 11:01 am

        I guess I never know what everyone will get worked up about. Not that anyone on DW gets worked up 🙂

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      • avatar

        bethany August 2, 2013, 11:10 am

        I don’t think that’s controversial at all.
        Personally, I think a store should be able to carry whatever it wants. The point of retail is to make money. If they make more money selling size 4 yoga pants, than size 10, they’re going to manufacture more size 4 pants. That’s how business works.
        And, it’s not like someone is withholding something essential to life from plus size people. No one (other than IWTTS) NEEDS $98 sweat pants to live their life.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 2, 2013, 11:31 am

        ERMHYGOD I need those yoga pants. Confession: Every single pair of my yoga pants need to be washed right now and I own 1 pairs. WTF. How did this happen? That does not include jackets and shirts and sports bras and tank tops. Another confession: there are still two pairs that I want to buy – mostly the wunder under crops. I have two pairs of the wunder under regular length and they’re adorable, but I really think I need to diversify my portfolio. Er my wardrobe. Same thing.

        As far as the sizing thing – yeah I think it’s dumb of them – strictly from a business standpoint. BUT I’m sure they’ve considered that – and if they don’t make money on bigger sizes because bigger people don’t work out as much or bigger people don’t care to spend $100 on yoga pants or WHATEVER – then that’s their perogative.

        Additional side note – I’m starting to wonder if lululemon has caved and given in to vanity sizing because I now have two pair of size 4’s that are too big to run in. I can still do yoga in them – but they start to fall down when I run. And I have gained weight recently. And I know their pants don’t shrink because I have a pair that is 10 years old and it’s still the same size and stretchy.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 2, 2013, 11:32 am

        That was supposed to say 12 pairs. Which is embarrassing. BUT in my defense I have never bought myself a pair. I just get them every year for Christmas and my birthday from my parents and grandparents and uncle. So it’s easy to rack them all up quickly.

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      • katie

        katie August 2, 2013, 11:36 am

        well the fabric now may be (and probably is) cheaper and not as good as it was 10 years ago. so that pair of ones with shitty fabric maybe be stretching while the old ones of the better material havent.

        that happens a LOT apparently.

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      • avatar

        bethany August 2, 2013, 12:14 pm

        Back in college when I started working at Express all of their sizes were split sizes (1/2, 3/4…), and they went up to 13/14. About a year into working there they went to all even numbers. The 1/2 became a zero and the 13/14 became a 12. Shady stuff over there!

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      • avatar

        SpaceySteph August 2, 2013, 3:18 pm

        Oh my gosh Express. For a long time I wore a lot of Express stuff because it fit well; I have a very long torso and short stumpy legs so their shirts, which are made for like 6ft tall people, actually meant that the bottom of the shirt met the top of my pants and didn’t leave an inch of belly like everyone else’s shirts.

        But then a year or so ago I went to buy more work slacks and was informed that they are only carrying up to size 8 in the store and have the “plus size” pants online only. Um a 10, which I wear, is not a plus size.

        Sure they can carry what sells and hurray capitalism, but I would NEVER buy a pair of pants without trying them on and the flip side of hurray capitalism is that I can weigh in with my money on what I think of their new policy. No more Express for me. And Gap slacks are lovely, plus they use more fair labor practices.

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 10:58 am

      I didn’t read the whole lululemon link because I really don’t care about the brand…but I do think it’s a little unfair that they are getting shit when it’s a pretty pervasive theme in stores, at least in my experience. At Kohls where I work, the plus size women’s department is the LAST place that get straightened, restocked, basically attended too. They don’t even carry men’s pants larger then a 40. It is a little surprising to me as Kohls has a big shopper population who is larger than the normal sizes.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 2, 2013, 11:07 am

        Yeah, the mens’ clothing thing is interesting, too. My dad is a big guy, so I often have to shop in not typical stores to buy him pants (which I do for Christmas & stuff) Sometimes I forget though, & I’m going through the racks at Macy’s like, “Oh. That’s right…”

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    • Miel

      Miel August 2, 2013, 11:08 am

      I’ll take a comparison that doesn’t relate to “health” so maybe that will be easier to illustrate without starting a war.

      You know, for most of us women, if we go to Victoria’s secret or something, we’ll see racks of super nice, bright colors, shinny sequence and stones, sexy bras. They’ll go with matching panties, and tons of push-up, and when you put them on, you feel like a sex machine. Or more simply, you’re super happy to find an electric-green bra that will go with your new top that is the same color.

      And then there are the 38G women. Or the 32DD or those sorts of size that just aren’t on the racks so easily. They don’t even have the same models or color. If you go in a normal store, most of the time, the larger size are all beige, white or black, and pretty much all the same plain style. I’m happy my size is amongst the shinny colorful bra racks, but… how fun is it to shop underwear, and the most sexy outfit you find is a black full cover cotton bra ? No fun.

      Now yoga pants. I just feel like it’s the exact same story. You want to start yoga (maybe as a way to become active, because the idea of jumping on the elliptical makes you think you will break the elliptical ?) and your best friend is all “oh, I will bring you to this store. I bought my own yoga pants and they are fantastic ! And they come in this really nice color, I really like it !” And then you enter the store, and well.. They don’t have anything in your size. And they tell you to go to Target instead. And then you’re not supposed to feel bad because “this store is just selling to a specific population”. Right…. So on top of having plain bras you will have plain yoga pants ?

      When will there be a product that is exciting and great looking but only in plus sizes, and smaller people will have to buy it in a boring color ? I’m waiting to see that.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 11:12 am

        I just think they have to stock according to what is usually sold. A 32DD is not sold as often (I assume!) as say a 34C. Its just not. If all stores stocked equal of every size, even ones that sell infrequently, that store would not stay open.

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      • Miel

        Miel August 2, 2013, 11:20 am

        But at least if they could have the same model but in larger sizes… or the same colors ? I understand not ordering 50 34C and 50 32DD for the racks, but if at least the bigger size (or smaller size as bethany says !) could be the same color and general style…

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 11:31 am

        That’s true, I agree.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:48 am

        It is possible that they do get in 1 32DD and it just sells quickly. I know at Kohls (sorry it’s like my only example cause it’s my current PT job) we get one or 2 pairs of mens size 40 or 42 pants and they sell quickly. (Side note, I’m a 32D bra size…impossible to find.)

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      • avatar

        lemongrass August 2, 2013, 11:58 am

        Try being a 32 G, that’s what I was pre-baby. 36 H now!

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      • call-me-hobo

        call-me-hobo August 2, 2013, 7:14 pm

        34 G and it SUCKS. Lemongrass, have you had trouble finding maternity bra’s in your size? One of the things that terrifies me about pregnancy is that my boobs are going to get BIGGER, and I don’t think I can handle the hassle that goes with it…

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      • avatar

        lemongrass August 2, 2013, 10:37 pm

        I didn’t have much trouble, I just bought them from the same specialty store that I buy my regular bra’s from. They sell nursing bra’s as well. I just own one nursing bra and wear it every day. It’s held up really well but for $85 it should!

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      • Copa

        Copa August 2, 2013, 11:45 am

        I agree.

        However, since I worked there, I do still bash them for being size-discriminatory because the managers (at least at my store) encouraged us to shoo the larger-chested women away from the lingerie and steer them toward the beauty room. I hated that. I hated feeling like I was only supposed to be helping the women (and sometimes men, if they were shopping for a lady friend) who were a certain size. We’d wear those walkie-talkie ear pieces and if you were working, say, in the PINK room and talking to a girl for too long about PINK bras, someone would be in your ear to remind you that she won’t fit, which means you won’t make that sale, which means you should tell her about our 5 for $25 lotion deal and focus your energy on selling PINK to someone else. After a few months I ditched my role as a “PINK model” and became a “beauty specialist” because at least when I was selling make-up and lotion, I didn’t have to be a jerkface toward people who were the “wrong” size. The only downside was that only the PINK girls get to model their sweats at work.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:49 am

        Well, I mean if you don’t carry their size…I totally get management asking you to guide them to beauty, where there is no size and a sale can still be made. It’s actually really logical business move.

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      • Copa

        Copa August 2, 2013, 2:18 pm

        Eh. I think there’s a difference between not catering to a potential customer by not carrying certain sizes and not catering to a potential customer by treating them differently based on size/appearance when they’re right there in front of you at your store. I understand why it’s smart from a sales/management perspective, but I truly just think it’s rude.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 2:53 pm

        Well if you’ve talked to a customer, know they are shopping for themselves and that the store doesn’t carry that size…I guess I’m confused as to what you’re supposed to do, in your eyes.

        You said if you talked to them too long and they didn’t fit into the line you where told to redirect…I just fail to see how it’s rude to do so when the product you where talking about doesn’t come in their size… It would be one thing if the management said “Just send every fat person to the make up counter” but what your first post said did not imply that’s what the management was doing.

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      • Copa

        Copa August 2, 2013, 3:18 pm

        The issue was that the managers were always sizing people up from afar without knowing anything about the cutstomers who were either bustier or plus-sized (or both). They couldn’t hear the conversations. It’d just be, “She’s too big, she won’t fit in anything. Try to send her to beauty.” That’s what bothered me. It really felt like if I was spending any time at all talking to the “wrong” people, someone would be in my ear within a few minutes to remind me we don’t cater to THOSE girls.

        There were also cases where people just didn’t seem to care that a bra was not going to fit them properly.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 3:22 pm

        Yeah…I did not get all of that from the first post. Discriminating due to weight is not acceptable, which is what you seem to be clarifying was going on. I would be pissed about that too.

        Redirecting so you can make a sale (because one product doesn’t meet the clients needs) is a totally different thing, and a logical business practice.

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        bethany August 2, 2013, 11:13 am

        Try shopping for bras when you’re barely an A cup. The bras that I like from VS aren’t even available in my size in the store. I have to buy them online. That not fun feeling goes both ways!

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        Morgan August 2, 2013, 11:49 am

        Amen sister. Amen.

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      • raptor

        gillociraptor August 2, 2013, 12:05 pm

        Especially if you don’t actually want to wear something padded.

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        bethany August 2, 2013, 12:22 pm

        Yes! It’s so hard finding cute, small bras w/o padding!

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        AliceInDairyland August 2, 2013, 11:48 am

        @bethany, where do you buy your bras?! I have 2 VS bras in 32A right now super-push up but they are starting to stretch out and I already have them on the tightest rib-setting (did that make sense?) … I was sized once as needing a 30A.

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        bethany August 2, 2013, 12:16 pm

        I buy them from VS, but now I actually buy the 34Bs from the Pink line. They’re cheaper and totally vanity sized, so I can get some joy out of seeing B on the tag, but it’s totally an A 🙂

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        lemongrass August 2, 2013, 11:52 am

        I wear a 36 H bra. I also recently went to lululemon to get new workout gear and barely fit my post-baby ass into the size 12’s. Despite being 20 lbs heavier than I was before having E, I am actually in better “shape.” I can run 6 K and workout regularly which isn’t something I did before getting pregnant. So I fit into both of those categories- my bra’s are ugly granny bra’s and I’m not in one of lulu’s glorious small sizes. It’s not a big deal though. Lulu can carry whatever sizes they want to, they should have that freedom as a business. We’ve gone way too PC if we want to strip away a business’ right to carry a certain selection of sizes because some people aren’t included. Life’s not fair, not everyone should be included all the time. Yeah, it sucks for me that I can only buy my bra’s at one store in the entire capital city of my province and they cost an arm and a leg but it’s not Victoria’s Secret’s fault that I don’t fit into the sizes that they will make money on. It’s not my fault either, obviously but why should they have to lose out on money?

        Consumer’s are acting like children complaining because that kid got the blue cup and I didn’t. You get what you get and it really doesn’t matter.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 11:54 am

        I don’t think anyone’s saying that the company should be forced to carry larger sizes.

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        lemongrass August 2, 2013, 12:00 pm

        Part of the article was saying that the store should carry larger sizes.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 12:02 pm

        I think the article is saying that the store should choose on their own to carry larger sizes because they should want to do that. I don’t think the author is suggesting that the store should be forced against their will to carry those sizes.

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        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 12:01 pm

        I think that’s exactly what people are saying, hence the controversy.

        To add to lemon, Lil’s 1st grade teacher used to say you get what you get and you don’t get upset. I love it, and we still say it.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 2:50 pm

        So this is an individual logic vs. collective logic thing.

        Individually, for each business, it makes sense to choose a target customer base and cater your brand and your product/service offering to that customer. In the case of clothing, and women’s clothing in particular, body size is one of the qualifying criteria brands use to dictate their ideal customer. They make money this way, they’re free to do business this way, it makes sense. And thus is makes no sense to rail against Lululemon, or Abercrombie and Fitch, individually like that, because the consumer can always just choose something else. Notice that skinny people aren’t pissed that Lane Bryant and Torrid don’t carry their sizes. Non-pregnant women don’t bitch that they can’t shop at maternity stores, and no one cares that Dick’s Sporting Goods doesn’t carry ballet slippers.

        But when a MAJORITY of clothing retailers all decide they’re only going to cater to that same customer, that same particular “mainstream” or “ideal” body type, that leaves the rest of the market underserved. And “the rest of the market” is a pretty large portion of the market and represents a lot of profit potential. It’s not just that they can’t shop at one or the other particular retailer… it’s that they’re being pushed out of a LOT of the major retailers, severely limiting their options.

        Capitalism-based economics would have you believe that “nature abhors a vacuum” and there would be a surge of other businesses rushing in to capture that frustrated portion of the market. And there are, but not with the visibility, status, advertising power, and availability of your major retailers like Target. The plus-size consumer is thus served, but with sacrifices – they must pay more, or cope with a smaller selection, or have things custom-made, or have to go online to shop and risk that the garment they buy won’t fit anyway and will have to be sent back. Each one of these sacrifices not only costs more (thus limiting that potential market share to only the people who can afford it), but is a disincentive to the consumer to shop that brand.

        So what choice are we, the underserved market, left with? Rail against the retailers, try to call for change, make it known just how underserved we are. Really, it’s the entire clothing INDUSTRY we should be targeting rather than individual brands, but you can’t talk to an industry, while lulu’s customer service line is just a click away. “Let the businesses do what they want” is an Objectivist view, and makes sense in terms of profits (it’s no wonder Objectivism is so popular in the business world), but it has its downsides and those downsides affect real people in real ways.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 2:51 pm

        Holy 5-paragraph essay, KKZ. :\

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 2:55 pm

        I really enjoyed your essay, KKZ. haha I was thinking that all along but didn’t feel like trying to find the words. You did an eloquent job as always.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 3:19 pm

        I wrote a similar one yesterday on another site, arguing against banning creationism from school curricula, a stance I didn’t even know I had until I reasoned the whole thing out. I think I’m just incapable of being concise – but I’m glad my eloquence is appreciated! 🙂

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        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 3:04 pm

        I enjoyed it also, what I don’t get is (aside from your examples) why its always more expensive for plus-sized. Target and Walmart and places like that are the most affordable (and arguably trendy) clothes out there.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 3:11 pm

        Well, while it’s not the only reason, I’m sure there is a myriad- but there is more fabric used in say a 2x shirt then a medium. They also, to a degree, take up more space in shipping, storage, and display, and if it’s a heavier fabric like say denim the shipping costs would be higher for one pair of say size 22 jeans than a size 8.

        I’m sure there are less logical reasons, but I have to assume the manufacturing, shipping, and related costs play into the high cost as well.

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        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 3:16 pm

        I didn’t mean the $1 more for plus sizes, but just pointing out that those stores are cheap to shop at, so I’m missing the argument that plus sized people have no cheap options to buy clothes.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 3:19 pm

        Okay yeah I was confused. Target, Kohls, Old Navy, even Forever 21 all have plus sized lines and are on the affordable end of the spectrum.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 3:26 pm

        It’s a little bit supply-and-demand (boy, you’d think I majored in economics instead of English…)

        There’s enough demand for the plus-size clothing (from specialty retailers) from this segment of the market, and not a lot of competition, so the retailers can charge more because the consumers have few other options. If there was a larger supply (variety) of plus-size retailers out there, there would be more incentive to compete over prices.

        The specialty retailers are still moving a smaller volume of clothing than the mainstream retailers so to keep their shareholders happy with profits, they have to mark them up to attain the same profit margin.

        The clothing may cost a LITTLE more but let’s be real, here, folks, these are cheap clothes made in foreign sweatshops and the manufacturers pay wholesale for their raw materials. MOST of the price of any garment is mark-up.

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid August 2, 2013, 3:54 pm

        everything KKZ said

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        lemongrass August 2, 2013, 4:34 pm

        I’m not saying that trying to find clothes that fit doesn’t suck. It does and I have a very hard time trying to find clothes that fit my frame. I just don’t see the point in making a mountain out of it- it’s frustrating, but it is not that big of a deal. Also, if you (not, you as in KKZ but you as in the public) are wanting cheaper plus size clothing, lulu lemon is the wrong retailer.

        I absolutely get wanting more options, better made, better priced clothing. But the current “regular” sized retailers are not the best avenue. Trying to give them your support & money by shopping there isn’t going to help in the long run.

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid August 2, 2013, 4:44 pm

        But capping out at an 8 isn’t really “regular sized”….I’d say capping out a 14 is probably closer to regular sized.

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        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 4:49 pm

        i feel like most stores do cap out at 14 though

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        lemongrass August 2, 2013, 5:03 pm

        I was referring to lululemon, who caps out at 12. I’m not sure what mainstream stores cap out at 8 but it definitely isn’t most.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 12:32 pm

        Oh A-fucking-men sister, says the 38DDDer with wayyy too many ill-fitting beige, white and black bras in my purchase past. And it’s a little demoralizing to have to go to a specialty shop like Lane Bryant for my bras. LB is great, but the only thing I need from there is bras, most of their clothes are too big for me (and I’m on the small end of the bras, too, most times I go there and have trouble finding the 38 band size in many styles). It makes you feel… weird, if nothing else, to just be surrounded by all these huge clothes with the subconscious message “this is where you’re supposed to shop because you’re Big.”

        Not to mention pricing. Super-cute lime green C-cup bras at Target for $15. Super-cute lime green DD-cup bra at Lane Bryant for $30+. I’ll pay more for the quality and the fit, but not without grumbling.

        The same thing that happens in Yoga clothes, happens in Pole clothes too. The pole dance/fitness community is SO inclusive and supportive and lovey-dovey, yay! But if you want a cute outfit to practice or perform in? Nope, only the skinny polers are allowed to do that, didn’t you know? And since I’m really into both pole and yoga, and have big breasts, it’s a triple whammy of body shame and consumer frustration.

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        rachel August 2, 2013, 1:38 pm

        Yeah, I’ve had the same experience in Lane Bryant looking for bras. It’s awkward. I’m 40DDD or so, and a size 18, and so I find I’m kind of in between regular clothes and plus sized.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 2:22 pm

        Yup, I’m 38DD-DDD depending on the style, but the rest of my body proportions are in that size-12 “average” range, I wear 10-12s in jeans, and I think 16 in dresses? I don’t know, I hardly ever buy dresses.

        I bought a cheap t-shirt off the internet about a month ago, from Threadless. In order to get one that would fit over my boobs without becoming see-through, I had to order an XXL. I’ve been feeling pretty great about my body lately after unexpectedly losing some weight, but seeing that on my shirt tag, I wanted to cry. :'( It’s like the smallest XXL I’ve ever seen, what the fuck guys.

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        rachel August 2, 2013, 2:52 pm

        Yeah, I have a couple of XXL’s from threadless that are actually *just* large enough to fit me. Stupid boobs.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 3:25 pm

        Is it an American Apparel shirt? Their sizing is BEYOND wonky. GGuy wears an XL in their stuff but a M most other places. He loves Threadless but has a hard time ordering since their clothes are weird sizes. And their fabrics are REALLY thin. (He stopped ordering white tees because you can see his totally normal/light colored nipples through them.)

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        rachel August 2, 2013, 3:29 pm

        Probably. I know Ross always buys an XL rather than a L because they tend to shrink a bit awkwardly.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 3:01 pm

        My husband has the same problem too, come to think of it. He is too Big and Tall for most mainstream retailers, but not Big and Tall enough for the Big and Tall store. Buying dress shirts for him is tough because he has a really thick neck and really long arms.

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      • Miel

        Miel August 2, 2013, 1:38 pm

        I was to a pole fitness showcase the other day, and most of the “larger breast” curvy girls were wearing at least two sports bras at the same time under their top. You don’t want anything to fall out ! But good for them, some of the bras were super cute.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 1:56 pm

        I had to double up for my first and only performance. A heavy-duty bra that would keep everything in place, topped with a “cute” running bra to give some style and panache. The running bra alone would have covered me, but would not have provided enough support to ensure against a wardrobe malfunction while upside down.

        One of the popular polewear providers, Mika (also does Yoga clothes) issued a “Curvy” version of one of their most popular tops. Skeptical, I ordered it because it was on sale, but alas, it had nowhere NEAR enough fabric or support (teeny-tiny spaghetti straps? hello! do they think these things hold THEMSELVES up?!). I wrote a matter-of-fact review of it on their website, and they were gracious in their response. I still have the top because I can wear it over heavy-duty bras, but gah. For once I’d like to just be able to order off the rack and have it work, ya know?

        Other polewear retailers are not as kind. A fellow poler had an experience with one where she tried to return some merch that didn’t fit her (that I think she won in a gift bag or something) and remarked to the retailer that their sizes don’t go up, and they were pretty snotty back to her, with a claim like “real pole dancers fit in our sizes.” Glitter is an AWESOME performer and it breaks my heart she was shamed like that.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 1:42 pm

        I’m surprised y’all say their stuff isn’t cute, Lane Bryant. I’ve admittedly never been in but the adds on tv and the stuff in their window is always cute and looks similar to the stuff at VS. I sort of assumed the rest of the store had cute undies too…apparently not.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 2:02 pm

        Oh no, their stuff is cute, that isn’t my claim. Their clothes are too big for me, but cute nonetheless, last time I was there I tried on a dress shirt in their smallest size and it was cute but there was just too much extra fabric (and I didn’t want to pay to have it tailored since it wasn’t a garment I’d wear really often).

        My irk is that I can go to Target or Kohl’s, where the only bras in my size fall into that beige/white/black category (or are just otherwise gawdawful grandma-y bras), right next to racks and racks of really cute average-size bras that are $15-20. I can find a bra just as cute at LB, but I’ll have to pay almost double for it. Which, again, I’m willing to do for the quality and the right fit, but it just sucks is all. I’m not arguing for change either way, it just sucks.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 3:16 pm

        Oh I was only referring to their underwear- sorry that wasn’t clear. The bras/panties they always display at LB seem to be just as pretty as VS.

        The bra’s that are $15 are shitty anyways, so I guess I don’t get the appeal. Sure they are pretty but after a few wears they are disposable. I, personally, always pay more because I want a bra that will last for more than a month. But I also wear a nude or white bra daily anyway, even though I could fit into the Target one’s your describing, so I just don’t understand the frustration I suppose.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 3:30 pm

        You sound like a very practical shopper, which I am too, so I can relate to that.

        The frustration comes from feeling like you have no choice but to be frumpy unless you jump over all the hurdles the industry puts in your way. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 3:36 pm

        Yeah, I can understand being frustrated with a limited selection. I said somewhere in a post above that I do think it’s shitty people who are out side of the “normal” size range (both male and female) have like no options and are a low priority on businesses lists.

        But then again, what woman doesn’t get frustrated shopping?? 🙂

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        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 3:45 pm

        Again though, what is the solution to this? Stores cannot afford to operate if they order tons of clothes that few consumers will buy. That’s why specialty stores exist. Because not everyone is the same, there are “averages” and there are not averages. Lucky for the “not averages” that there are specialty stores, but also huge retailers like target and walmart who will cater to all sizes.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 3:52 pm

        I guess part of the point is…if you go to the mall there are what 50 specialty stores catering towards the “normal” size ranges and maybe 2 (MAYBE) that cater towards plus sizes. And that’s only plus size women, the men are shit out of luck! So while there are SOME options for plus sized, when you think about the number of options afforded to “regular” sized…there is a huge disparity.

        I don’t think anyone is “arguing” for all stores to cater to all body types, but it would be nice if a few more retailers would realize that a significant portion of the US population falls into the plus size category and either new specialty stores opened or stores that already have plus sized had a wider selection.

        For example at the Kohls I work at, about a third of the store is the Women’s department. There is a 10×10 section that has the plus sized clothing. Maybe 5% of the floor space. Way more than 5% of the US female population is plus sized. Why aren’t they more equally represented?

        And, I can’t think of a single high end retailer who caters, or even has, plus sized options. You can’t get a 2x shirt for women from JCrew. That’s kinda shitty.

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        kerrycontrary August 2, 2013, 3:25 pm

        I am not a bigger person, but I have the small ribcage big cup thing going on and I can’t buy cheap bras 🙁 they literally don’t make them in my size. It annoys the crap out of me. But yeh I’m with GG, might as well buy a good bra anyways, especially if you are bigger. AND everytime I buy a patterned bra I barely wear it since it shows under most stuff anyways.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 3:27 pm

        Yeah, 32D is almost impossible size to find! In any store! I don’t buy patterned bra’s and haven’t since middle school because most of my tops are white…I have no use for flashy undies (unless they are going on just for sex).

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        kerrycontrary August 2, 2013, 4:05 pm

        yup I wear a lot of white/light tops. I try to get interesting patterns on my undies, but then in the summer I’m stuck with tan FBU for when I wear white bottoms.

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid August 2, 2013, 2:12 pm

        Yep. I’m with you Miel. I’m not a big girl—6 / 8 waist, size 10 hips, size 12 thighs because I have crazy muscular legs from hiking and walking and I have GINORMOUS BOOBS (like 36 F) and shoulders that go with the 6/8 waist. Because of the boobs and thighs everything I own is plain and kind of depressing. Bra shopping is an exercise in not bursting into tears because I’m young and pretty and I don’t want to have to buy granny bras and I actually want to show a little cleavage, and I should be allowed to have a bra that doesn’t show under my v-neck. I feel like there’s this whole secret plan in the bra industry that being big means you need to cover up. All your bras have to go up to your chin and be full coverage, not because the cup does anything to to suppor you, but because “fat” shouldn’t be seen. It sucks

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      kerrycontrary August 2, 2013, 11:46 am

      Something controversial: stores should be able to aim for a certain customer (age group, size, what have you) and cultivate their clothing collection to fit and flatter that customer. They are a business and they can sell whatever product they want. If you don’t agree with the brand’s philosophy then don’t shop there and don’t work there.

      True life: it sucks to not be able to find something that fits you in a store. But this can be said for people who are tall, short, petite. It includes those teenage girls who are below a size 0 but too big and too old for children’s clothing. It includes women who are realistically a size 2 or 4 but are being sized out of normal women’s clothing due to vanity sizing. And it of course includes plus sized women.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:56 am

        Kerry, is your first paragraph controversial? isn’t that like the basis of retail?

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        kerrycontrary August 2, 2013, 12:24 pm

        I’ve just met a lot of people who think that everything in life should be inclusive. I mean look at the people who think that instead of paying for 2 plane seats (which I admit are stupidaly small), they should just make all plane seats big enough to fit someone who is 300lbs. Yes, we should change an entire industry due to someone’s weight. And whenever we talk about weight or being plus sized on DW it seems to be a hot topic.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 12:53 pm

        Of course weight is a hot topic, I usually try to stay out of it because of my own biases/past issues with weight…but from a purely business standpoint, the size of the clothing makes a huge difference in at minimum the price to create the garment (more fabric equals a higher production cost, that’s not really disputable). It’s impossible for every store to cater to every weight, height, personal style, modest or showy styling, preppy or goth styling. it’s just downright impossible (also a private business should get complete control over their product).

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      • Copa

        Copa August 2, 2013, 2:23 pm

        Oooh, the plane seat thing! I don’t think plane seats should be made bigger. :-/ I think that’d make me unpopular around here.

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        rachel August 2, 2013, 8:31 pm

        I don’t think they should make the seats bigger – that would just be one more excuse to raise the prices!

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        Morgan August 2, 2013, 12:02 pm

        Oh my god, vanity sizing. Look, it’s nice being a size zero all of a sudden (to clarify, my upper body is a size zero now. My lower body is awkwardly between a 2 and 4 when it used to be awkwardly between a 4 and a 6, so nothings really changed other than which sizes don’t fit right). But real talk– I used to be severely anorexic. I’m also quite tall, though long inseams are a rant for another day. Anyway, at my absolute skinniest in the depth of my eating disorder, I was still a size 2. Now, those size 2’s were so baggy they were hanging off my thighs, but I did not fit in anything smaller because my hip bones are just that wide. Like if you boiled all the flesh off me and were left with just my skeleton, the skeleton would be wider than the traditional measurements for a size 2.

        And it kind of terrifies me every time I go into a store and the 4 is big and I try on the 2 instead and think “wait, but I’m healthy.” And then I go home and remember that no, I’m still at exactly the same weight I’ve been for the past 2 and a half years, the clothes are just getting bigger. I’m about to be too small to wear Ann Taylor and Loft tops, and I’m down to a 2 and an XS at J Crew. I am not a small person, frame wise. I’m naturally kind of long and lanky (also, sleeve length. Thanks for your weird arms, mom) but i have very wide shoulders and super wide hips. I don’t know what my friends who legitimately have petite frames are doing for clothes. Going naked?

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 12:20 pm

        I have a pretty petite frame and I just get clothes tailored all the time.

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        kerrycontrary August 2, 2013, 12:26 pm

        I think she’s referencing people who are like 4’10”, have a 20 inch waist. At least that’s what I think of as “very petite”. And those women are very sized out of clothing right now and it’s hard to even tailor clothes to that.

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        Morgan August 2, 2013, 12:30 pm

        I have a friend who is 4 foot 11 and she is exactly who I was thinking of. She always had to deal with hemming things, obviously, but now the size she has to start from when altering (a 0) is bigger than it used to be, and she isn’t any bigger.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 12:57 pm

        Kerry I totally get the point. Honestly I’m sized out of some stores right now too. I do know a women who is about 5′ and mayyyyybe 100 pounds and she shops in the kids dept. A lot of childrens clothing is mocking/following the same trends as adults. You’d never know what she wears is meant for 12 year olds.

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        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 12:59 pm

        Its cheaper too! My sister is tiny and all her winter coats are kids coats. Regular, adult brands, just for kids and its much cheaper.

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        Morgan August 2, 2013, 1:06 pm

        I do buy all my concert tee shirts and sports jerseys in a youth large. So much cheaper.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson August 2, 2013, 1:08 pm

        I do this with snowboarding gear too. There are a few clothing categories where I can fit into kids sizes and it’s awesome.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 1:32 pm

        I buy kids jackets, jerseys and sometimes shoes! I’ve bought a few dresses from target’s kids dept too.

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        Morgan August 2, 2013, 2:18 pm

        I would love to be able to wear kids shoes again. I feel like I got cheated out of cute kids shoes; my feet have always been huge so I graduated to women’s shoes pretty young.

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      • Miel

        Miel August 2, 2013, 12:26 pm

        I don’t know what I’m doing either. Some stores have double zero size and it’s too big. My real size is probably a 4 though. I actually don’t have a go-to store for clothes. I apparently just keep my clothes 5+ years and never buy new things….

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      • Copa

        Copa August 2, 2013, 12:35 pm

        I love Ann Taylor Loft’s sizing. I’m XS petite!? Huh!? Well… okay then!

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        bethany August 2, 2013, 12:38 pm

        Loft is the WORST!! Their sizes are so off, it’s crazy!

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        kerrycontrary August 2, 2013, 12:52 pm

        So last time I ordered from there I actually filled out one of their surveys to bitch about vanity sizing. I know no one will probably read it, but someone needs to tell them! I am NOT an extra small person and I know it. A small, yes, but the smalls there are too big for me a lot of the time. and I’m a size 2 in pants there? what if I lose 5 more lbs?

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        Morgan August 2, 2013, 1:02 pm

        I can barely wear the XS tops anymore. No one with shoulders this broad should be anything smaller than a medium. And I used to be a medium. Newsflash–I haven’t gotten any smaller.

        Course the part where I have no boobs doesn’t help I guess.

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        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 1:00 pm

        Yeah, Loft is one of the stores I’m all but sized out of. XS are often too big (which results in expensive trips to the tailor). But then in some of their other things, like pants, I’m like a 4. It makes no sense (specially since I have a bit of a chest!).

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid August 2, 2013, 2:32 pm

        My comment is just tacked on to yours GG because I don’t want to scroll all the way down—so I’m not picking on you, I promise.

        So the point of retail is to choose a client and cultivate items that work for that client, but the issue is that very few places are “choosing” “bigger” women as their target client (we could easily say fringe sized people too, but since for I fall into the ‘bigger’ category that’s what I’m going with). Lane Bryant and Torrid aren’t for everyone. It isn’t just boutique retailers that do things like this. I can find clothes most places because I’m really not that big, but even at department stores like Target or Nordstrom or Macy’s it isn’t always easy to find stuff that fits my size. We don’t have a lulumelon in AK—and I don’t do yoga frequently enough to spend a ton of money on yoga pants when I could just as easily wear my hiking tights—but I wouldn’t fit in their clothes, and I feel like I’m a pretty standard size for most American women.

        I don’t mean to go on and on and on about this, but it just really annoys me that even though I’m healthy, really happy with my body, have a high level of self confidence, am athletic, and want to be fashionable, I have to shop at stores that “cater to my size?” I’m sorry, but I think that’s kind of absurd.

        This is why I do a lot of consignment/thrift/vintage store shopping. I try on a lot of clothes, but at least there’s some variety and it’s not like sizing is even remotely consistent over time.

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid August 2, 2013, 2:36 pm

        Also. Tailoring sucks and is expensive, but it’s a lot easier to have something tailored down than it is tailored up. I’m between a 10 and 12 in pants, and if a store doesn’t carry a 14, then I don’t even have the option to buy a bigger size to tailor down to my size. It’s not like they are building in a huge seam allowance into a size 10.

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      • Miss MJ

        Miss MJ August 2, 2013, 3:29 pm

        Vanity sizing drives me nuts because it makes shopping without trying on impossible and online shopping is a pipe dream. The tailor is my best friend, too, but it can only do so much.

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      • avatar

        AliceInDairyland August 2, 2013, 2:34 pm

        I have a similar frame as you Morgan, I’m a zero-2 on a thicker day and I am very tall and lanky.

        IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND WORK CLOTHES THAT FIT ME. I am talking like farm-work clothes. Because apparently tall and skinny human beings don’t ever do any sort of physical labor. Guy or girl, I can’t find anything long and thin enough. So, I wear big awkward things with a belt.

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  • katie

    katie August 2, 2013, 10:49 am

    i freaking love the camp gyno. that is so funny!!

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    • TaraMonster

      TaraMonster August 2, 2013, 11:16 am

      I sent that one in. Not ashamed to admit I’ve watched it like 10 times this week!

      Reply Link
  • avatar

    GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 10:52 am

    So…I don’t really get the point of the birth control story… It’s VERY well documented that taking the pill greatly ups your chances of a blood clots. It’s very well documented that certain kinds have higher risk. So she wasn’t really saying anything…other than after she had a blood clot she was scared of hormonal BCs.

    I take Yaz. I have for YEARS. On my most recent gyno trip we asked about the risks, the scary blood clot commercials we saw on tv, should I switch to a different kind, etc etc etc. The doctor said there wasn’t really a point in switching. Could be bad advice from a doctor or it could be just fine advice. It’s part of the risk you take putting synthetic hormones into your body- it could screw shit up.

    So yeah, basically I see this article as pointless. (But I am happy that I’ll be getting off of the pill in like October.)

    Reply Link
    • theattack

      theattack August 2, 2013, 10:58 am

      I appreciated the article. I knew clots were a risk, but I sort of thought I was immune to them in my 20s. I thought it was a risk for people who took them from like age 20 to age 35 and smoked. My mom just always told me to stop taking them when I was 30ish to avoid the risk. Reading that 22 year olds ended up with clots was shocking to me.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:02 am

        Really? That’s pretty baffling to me that you’d be so un/misinformed.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 11:06 am

        haha… thanks?

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:10 am

        I wasn’t trying to be rude…it’s just really surprising that you’d be getting the wrong information and that your doctor hadn’t cleared that up when you’re in for your annual.

        But I also do a lot of independent looking things up and avoid taking pretty much all medication (except the pill) because I don’t like altering myself too much (I know kinda doesn’t make sense since the pill screws with you so much, but I was not getting pregnant).

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 11:13 am

        My healthcare providers have told me I wasn’t really at risk at my age though. That WAS the information I was given. Surely I’m not the only one who’s been told that.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:17 am

        No, you’re not the only one- I have been told similar. At 24 no you’re not really at RISK, but it can still happen. Like the author wasn’t in a high risk category (based on what she offered up) but she was still at risk because she was taking the medication that creates the risk. It doesn’t magically appear at 30 (or any arbitrary age) it magically appears when you start taking a medication that alters your body.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 11:18 am

        I used to be on BC that decreased calcium over time and would result in brittle bones, but the doctors said the same thing-just drink extra milk or whatever for now because you are too young for it to have any long term issue.

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      • katie

        katie August 2, 2013, 11:21 am

        well you arent though. i think i remember reading it is true that it effects older women more, and of course it definitely effects people who smoke more. but regardless of that, you are at risk of it because you are taking the medication- there is no way to not be at risk and also take the medication.

        i guess it depends on what you consider risk, too. like you are at risk from getting in a car accident everyday, but you still drive places. and, perception is all fucked up anyway because EVERYONE says “i never thought it would happen to me”

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:25 am

        that’s exactly my point Katie! You take the medication, you’re at risk for the side effects. End of story. There are other factors that can up the risk (smoking, family history, age, etc) but by taking the meds you’re putting your self at risk. (not specific you, general you) The “I never thought it would happen to me” mentality is stupid because it COULD happen to you. It could happen to anyone who takes the meds.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 11:34 am

        Ehh, I would rather assume that I’m safe from most “risks” than to be a walking anxiety machine. I don’t live in the dark that nothing bad will happen to me, but if I’m at a very low risk for something, I intentionally reduce it to “no risk” in my conscious thinking so that I don’t waste my life away. Does that make sense? I’m just trying to avoid being my worrywart mother. And then of course it’s surprising for me to hear that the “risk” I reduced from low to none in my brain actually did happen to someone else. It’s not ignorance. It’s weighing the factors.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 11:40 am

        Makes total sense to me!

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      • katie

        katie August 2, 2013, 11:40 am

        i dont think theres anything wrong with that, and i think its very common, but then you cant be surprised when it does happen to someone else. someone has to hit those odds, you know? you just hope and assume its not you and you dont live in fear it that it will.

        at work we say “bytm” – better you then me

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 11:47 am

        Yeah, theoretically no one should be surprised. But it’s still jarring. It’s like when you walk along the same street every day and then you find out someone just got run over by a car on that same street an hour after you passed.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:53 am

        Well if you know your changing low/little risk to no risk in your own mind…it shouldn’t be a surprise that it happens to someone. We all know the risk is there, someone Is going to roll those odds. It doesn’t mean you have to constantly worry about it either.

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      • Lindsay

        Lindsay August 2, 2013, 1:39 pm

        I think there’s a difference between being surprised that it happens to someone and being surprised that you’re the one it happens to. Like if something happens to 1 out of 1,000 people, then you probably don’t assume it’ll happen to you, and when it does, it might be kind of surprising. That’s what I feel like the “I never thought it could happen to me” means, more so than literally and actively thinking that a certain thing COULD NOT happen to you.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 11:26 am

        That makes sense. And really I’m not one to overthink risks that are low. I wouldn’t say I’m at risk for a car accident just because I’m driving (although I am in reality at “risk”). A blood clot is obviously a “risk” for me, and I’ve always realized that, but something about hearing it happening to someone who’s only at “risk” (not at real risk) is surprising.

        So basically I have fake, theoretical “risks” and real risks. haha

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      • katie

        katie August 2, 2013, 11:31 am

        haha, no i think that is how a lot of people are, with fake and theoretical risks.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 11:43 am

        I think most people just weigh pros and cons somewhat reasonably. Like if you aren’t on BC, your risk of getting pregnant is obviously very high. The risk of a clot from that is considerably lower, so…

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    • avatar

      bethany August 2, 2013, 10:59 am

      That was my thought exactly. I haven’t been on the pill for years, but I always remember Drs making sure that I knew that could happen. And yoru risk increases if you smoke while on the pill, right?

      When I was in college and on the pill I woke up one morning with crazy bruises on the back of one of my legs. I called Planned Parenthood and they saw me that day, because I thought it could be a blood clot. It wasn’t, but the point is, when you see something random like that happen quickly or have a pain in your hip that doesn’t go away for MONTHS, you need to go to the Dr. If she would have died, it wouldn’t have been because of the Pill. It would have been due to her lack of concern about her own health/body.

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      • katie

        katie August 2, 2013, 11:03 am

        you have mirena right? doesnt it still have blood clot risks because there are still hormones?

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      • avatar

        bethany August 2, 2013, 11:15 am

        Paragard. Non-hormonal.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster August 2, 2013, 11:41 am

        Me too!!! I’m sorry to TMI you all, but.. I’ve had my period for going on 10 days now and it doesn’t seem to be ending anytime soon. WTF, ParaGaurd!?

        I got mine a month ago and I want to love it, so I’m hoping this is just my body adjusting. I know periods are supposed to be longer, but TEN DAYS with no end in sight. I don’t want to have to get it taken out. 🙁

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      • Lindsay

        Lindsay August 2, 2013, 11:51 am

        It’s like that at first! Don’t worry. It should chill out soon. I had cramps for two weeks straight after I got mine, but after a couple of months, everything started to settle down.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster August 2, 2013, 12:07 pm

        Ok. Phew. It was actually really light at first and I got excited thinking this would be my new normal, but then it started fluctuating and it will not end!! Go away, period!!!

        I have a follow up soon and I’m intent on sticking this out as hormonal BC is not my friend. The lengths we go to to keep the uterus a baby-free zone!

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      • Lindsay

        Lindsay August 2, 2013, 2:32 pm

        Eek! Yeah, I was not pleased at first and was kind of reconsidering because it seemed like much more hassle than I wanted to deal with. And actually, my period even improved after the eight-month mark, which was surprising to me, because I assumed that it had already settled in. So hopefully as time goes on, it’ll get less annoying for you!

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      • avatar

        bethany August 2, 2013, 12:25 pm

        I’ve had mine for over 5 years now, so I don’t really remember what happened when I first got it, but sounds like that could be normal.

        I’ve been really happy with it.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 2:27 pm

        I’ll second that, I got mine last year and my periods were all over the place for a while, not quite regular, longer, shorter, heavier, with spotting in between. They’ve finally about evened out, and I’m back to my 5-6 day norm, but still WAY heavier than they ever were when I was on hormonal BC, and my PMS is worse and I get cramps, which I never did.

        But I just figured, I’ve been on hormonal BC since I was 15/16, I didn’t really know what my “natural” period was like. Now I know. Sad thing is I had to stop using my Diva Cup because the flow is so heavy, that thing filled up in no time. I’m using Ultra-size tampons and overnight pads, sometimes in combination, now. 🙁 Oh well. Better than being a momma!

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    • katie

      katie August 2, 2013, 11:02 am

      i had the same reaction. like, ok, you got a blood clot, that happens to people, cool.

      the doctor did think i had a blood clot once. that was scary for like a second.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 11:06 am

        Oh yeah, I wasn’t trying to minimize how scary a blood clot could be! They are very scary.

        I just am really surprised that someone could be so taken aback that something that is clearly spelled out as a possible side effect happened to them. Also, her avoidance of getting her symptoms checked out for FOUR months…I mean that’s on her not the BC.

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      • othy

        othy August 2, 2013, 12:22 pm

        One of my friends almost died from a blood clot. Which, ironically, he got from having sex. Seriously, he injured his knee mid-sex, and didn’t get it seen, which lead to a serious injury, which lead to a clot that almost killed him.

        Now he has a ‘pre-existing condition’ and can’t get insurance. And his fiance has type 1 diabetes, and she can’t get any either.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl August 2, 2013, 12:30 pm

        That’s terribly scary.

        I believe the Obamacare rules that are going into effect state that you can’t be denied because of a preexsisting condition. He should look into it.

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      • othy

        othy August 2, 2013, 1:04 pm

        Well, right now you can’t be denied, but they can charge you an arm and a leg. It won’t be until next year that they get a bit more manageable.

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    • avatar

      SasLinna August 2, 2013, 11:02 am

      What was missing in the article was whether she turned out to have a genetic predisposition for bloodclots. I think this is not generally tested for before the pill is prescribed, so if you don’t have anyone in your family who’s had bloodclots before you wouldn’t necessarily know. I’ve heard that there are cases where there was no such predisposition and women seem to have gotten bloodclots just from taking the pill alone, but I’d like to know if this case was like this.

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      • KKZ

        KKZ August 2, 2013, 12:37 pm

        Smoking also increases the risk – were any of the women referenced in the article smokers? Doesn’t say.

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    • Miel

      Miel August 2, 2013, 11:17 am

      From what I know : The risk for blood cloth is actually in the first year or so of taking the pill. After that, it drops significantly. So if you take the pill for 10 years straight or something, you really shouldn’t be afraid of blood cloth anymore. You have more risk of dying because of a pregnancy at that point.

      However, the 1-year risk comes back every time you start the pill. So a very bad behavior would be to start the pill for a year, then stop the pill because you’re single, then get on the pill again, then stop because it’s too expensive and you don’t have health insurance anymore (thank you Obamacare ! That’s amongst the reason I was in favor of this…), then you start again because you have more money. This is putting you at risk for years ! It’s insane ! No, once you start the pill, you stay on the pill, and once you stop, you stop for life. Changing pills is alright, but it doesn’t change anything to the risk you had, especially if you did more than 3-4 years on the first pill !

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      • avatar

        SasLinna August 2, 2013, 11:28 am

        I got a different opinion this from my gyno, which was that the risk is greatest in the first year (or even just the first 3 months) because if you have an issue it’s likely going to come up quickly. However, once you’ve been on a pill for a year or more you’re most likely not going to have problems, and that’s still going to be the case if you stop taking the pill and start again later. (of course what might change the risk is age).

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    • Lindsay

      Lindsay August 2, 2013, 12:04 pm

      I appreciated the article for the message, even though I’m well-aware of the risks already and have chosen nonhormonal birth control partially for that reason. At the very least, though, I don’t think it’s pointless because a lot of women seem to think that you only get blood clots on the pill if you’re over 35 or smoke.

      Birth control is one of those things that doctors differ widely on. I get ocular migraines and so does my friend. Her new doctor flipped her shit when she told her that she gets them AND that she was on the pill, because this doc won’t prescribe hormonal birth control for someone with that kind of migraine AT ALL. When I told my doctor, he was like, “Eh, I don’t think it matters, but if you really want an IUD…” I also had some doctors who even refused to admit that birth control increases blood clot risk at all. So, I’m not trying to put a tin-foil hat on, but I think it’s one of those things that you have to decide for yourself, which makes it nice to hear someone’s experiences.

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    • avatar

      lemongrass August 2, 2013, 12:09 pm

      The only thing that stood out to me in the article was the end bit of imagining arguing with her teenage daughter. I have an internal conflict about that. I took the pill for years and after going off I realized just how sensitive I am to hormonal fluctuations and that it had a lot of side effects that really influenced my life: mood changes, sex drive, it changed my personality really. That and the thought of messing with my reproductive organs really bothers me now. So the thought of having a teenage daughter that I expect will be having sex- do I encourage her to go on the pill even though I think it could affect her negatively? Do I trust that she will listen to the extremely informed discussions on how reproduction works and how to prevent pregnancy without hormones? I don’t want to put anything that may harm her into her system but I also don’t want her to have an unplanned pregnancy.

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    • othy

      othy August 2, 2013, 12:18 pm

      This article also misses the point of how much more dangerous actually being pregnant is compared to the risks on BC. 10 in 10000 develop a blood clot (no word on how many people actually die from said blood clot), but how many pregnancies cause serious complications that are far worse than a blood clot? In terms of risk, I’d take the birth control any day (every day, actually), over getting an unplanned pregnancy. And after experimenting with other types of methods (condoms, looking into the risks/negatives of an IUD, etc), the pill is what really works best for me.

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    • KKZ

      KKZ August 2, 2013, 12:36 pm

      I thought the same thing, I remember getting the blood clot info from my gyno at 15/16 when I first went on BC (the Patch). Like… did you not read the little info packet that comes with all drugs? Are you not aware that drugs usually have side effects? That’s your responsibility as a consumer – and yes, doc’s responsibility to tell you, but still. If you put it in your body, know what it can do, good or bad.

      Side note: Does anyone even USE the Patch anymore? I stopped using it because it tended to fall off in the shower or near the end of the week after accumulating all the lint from my clothes around the edges (and thus leaving a little sticky square of lint on me when I removed it). I haven’t seen it advertised in forever and haven’t talked to anyone who still uses it.

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    • avatar

      MsMisery August 6, 2013, 1:08 pm

      Agree, GG. I’ve been on the Pill since almost the beginning of time (my periods are insane without it) and I’ve always known that clotting was a risk. There’s always a risk to any med you take! Either find out from your doctor, read the paperwok that comes with your script, or research online!

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  • avatar

    Addie Pray August 2, 2013, 11:00 am

    Funny story about that camp gyno video, well, not really funny “ha ha,” just funny if you want to know what AP looked like as a little girl. I looked and acted JUST LIKE that little girl. It’s kind of freaky watching her. I’ve had that video forwarded to me from so many friends and family members. Maybe I made the video as a kid and forgot about it and it’s just now hitting the internet? It’s possible. It’s really weird. Anyway, see, not so funny.

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  • avatar

    TECH August 2, 2013, 11:07 am

    The only thing that bothered me about the “I was supposed to end up alone” article is that the author is basically saying: “Ha! See, I hooked up a lot when I was younger and now I am 29 and engaged and getting ready to have a baby. And I’m the first amongst all my friends to do it.”

    But, she just as easily could have ended up not engaged and ready to have a baby at 29. Can we all just agree and getting married and having a baby are based on the sum total of a ton of life experiences? And some of it is based on good timing and good fortune and a good set of circumstances.

    What I did like about the article is that it shows people take all different paths to “settling down” (if that is their goal) and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 12:19 pm

    Oh, I had another sex dream about my boss. His wife and some other chick were there too this time. In my grandma’s house. WTF

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle August 2, 2013, 12:21 pm

      I’ve been having sex dreams about everyone this week. It’s affecting my day-to-day too, like I’m really horny? And looking sideways at every mildly attractive person that walks by? it doesn’t help that the last time I had sex was Sunday.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 2, 2013, 12:24 pm

        Okay, I feel like an asshole now that I re-read my comment, because that’s barely a dry spell. Just ignore me, everyone!!

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      • raptor

        gillociraptor August 2, 2013, 1:01 pm

        It doesn’t make you an asshole. It’s been that long for me, and I feel like it’s totally a dry spell.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster August 2, 2013, 12:42 pm

        My boyfriend is in a different part of the country for the next two months… I’ve only gone that long without sex ONCE in 10+ years- and it was because I had a UTI that wouldn’t go away.

        He’s been gone one week and on top of just missing him in general, it already feels like torture!

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary August 2, 2013, 1:22 pm

        After 3 weeks it gets better. We had to 4 months apart on top of normal long distance, and I figured out that after 3 weeks you stop missing them/sex AS MUCH.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 12:25 pm

        I feel like I’m the opposite. The more sex I have, the more I want it. The less sex, the less craving it.

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      • MaterialsGirl

        MaterialsGirl August 2, 2013, 12:38 pm

        if you don’t use it, you lose it?

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 12:39 pm

        Yes! Exactly.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 2, 2013, 12:41 pm

        I get like that sometimes, but it has to be a ~really~ long time going without.

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      • theattack

        theattack August 2, 2013, 12:43 pm

        Same here, LBH. At least for normal situations. After a certain point it’s just been too ridiculously long and reverses back again, like right now. Do not even want to talk about how many times we’ve been able to have sex since we got married. It’s depressing.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 12:48 pm

        I feel like at times like that, where I realize oh shit, it HAS been a while, I just force myself to jump back on the horse and then it naturally corrects itself.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest August 2, 2013, 1:03 pm

        Remember yesterday, was it Lindsay?, worrying about whether she might be asexual because she doesn’t have the urge to have sex. I totally get that. After Lil, when I wasn’t having sex FOR YEARS (I laugh at you people saying a dry spell is a week!), I was seriously 100% fine with it. I just got to the point where I practically forgot about it.

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      • Lindsay

        Lindsay August 2, 2013, 1:32 pm

        Yep, it was me!

        And my eyes also bugged out when I saw the week = dryspell stuff, haha. I’ve been going strong for 10 months and haven’t batted an eye at it.

        (Too many eye-themed figurative things there.)

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 2, 2013, 2:25 pm

        This reminds me of when I regularly kept a diary, I once wrote an entry detailing my desperation for sex because it had been SO LONG. Then I flipped back, & realized it had only been 9 days (I was single at the time, but still getting regular sex, so 9 days did feel like a looong time)

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      • Northern Mermaid

        Northern Mermaid August 2, 2013, 2:45 pm

        It must be going around. I feel like the attractive men quotient has significantly increased in Anchorage lately. It might be true—summer seasonals or whatever—but I had an elaborate fantasy about one of the produce dudes at the grocery store. While I’m appreciative of physical attractiveness, I’m not usually one to ogle.

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      • Lindsay

        Lindsay August 2, 2013, 5:40 pm

        Haha, that’s hilarious, Fabelle.

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  • muchachaenlaventana

    muchachaenlaventana August 2, 2013, 11:35 am

    Does anyone else get pissed off at the endless articles detailing to women what they can, can’t, should, shouldn’t do to get married!?!??!! I am referring to the salon article. I mean WHO CARES? What is all the f’ing bs surrounding what women CAN or CANT do to get married and this is really just reinforcing the “even if you hookup with tons of guys you will find love too and endup married” guess what maybe we should work on developing a new story line (or a parallel one to the marriage-kids-happily ever after narrative) Marriage is not the be it end all of life. Like yes for some people that is their goal, or they find it and that is great for them. But there is no right way to live or find love. It happens for some people and doesn’t for others REGARDLESS of how many people they have or haven’t slept with, their gender, sexual orientation etc. Just live your life, don’t judge other people for living theirs, and hope for the best. UGH sorry rant but my friend sent me this the other day and I love it and think we should start telling younger women that these things are just as acceptable and you will still have a happy life if you don’t get married:

    its like you would never see an article published in a male-centered publication ” i hooked up with lots of women and still found love so there” because its not an issue, and if we want to make this type of behavior more acceptable/the norm for women A(bc really it doesn’t matter, i’ve never told my friends who hookup with lots of guys they won’t get married nor have i ever thought it) and i get this was a reaction to people saying “you have to find love and get married immediately” but this woman is still reinforcing the idea that marriage=fulfillment and should be the end goal for everyone.

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle August 2, 2013, 12:08 pm

      I get totally sick of it, but I think the linked article is actually an attempt to counter all of the “if you’re a total slutty sluterson in college, you’ll NEVER GET MARRIED dun dun duuun” tone of the countless articles about that side of it. It is exhausting, though.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle August 2, 2013, 12:09 pm

        Oh wait, you totally acknowledged that, oops!

        But yeah, I think this woman is speaking to a particular woman who’s read all the other articles, feels bad about her past, & is looking to get married now. it’s annoying that ~every~ article assumes the reader IS that woman though. I feel you!

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    • katie

      katie August 2, 2013, 12:38 pm

      yep. exactly. thank you.

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  • avatar

    haggith August 2, 2013, 12:56 pm

    it seems the a mother thing link about raising a crossdresser child doesn’t work. Wendy, can you fix it? Thanks!

    Reply Link
  • Lyra

    Lyra August 2, 2013, 1:14 pm

    BAHAHAHAHAAAAAA. That camp gyno one cracked me up so much!! I’ve had experience with helping girls through their first periods at camp…

    Reply Link
    • theattack

      theattack August 2, 2013, 1:48 pm

      Me too, Lyra. It’s always super fun when the girl doesn’t know what a period is and then she gets it, and you as a camp employee don’t have the authority to explain what’s happening without getting in touch with her parents first. Ahh, memories. I’ve admittedly been really jealous of you this summer getting to work at a camp and still be an adult at the same time. I should have been a teacher instead.

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    TortoiseBear August 2, 2013, 1:18 pm

    Did anyone else read that “40 days of dating” site? I just read every single post and now I’m Twitter stalking to see if they’re still together. I can’t seem to figure out if they are!! Ugh. Sneaky people trying to hide things from nosy people like me.

    Also, this is my first actual comment on this site. And I am aware what a stalkerish first comment this is. Oh well.

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    • Northern Mermaid

      Northern Mermaid August 2, 2013, 2:46 pm

      I am obsessed with 40 days of dating. I kind of want Tim to fall madly in love with her and her to be ambivalent. Is that bad?

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      • avatar

        TortoiseBear August 2, 2013, 3:17 pm

        NOT AT ALL. Although I would want him to be madly in love with her for months and months and finally win her over after missed chances/obstacles/all that jazz and live happily ever after. So basically I want them to become a real life romcom.

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        Matcha August 2, 2013, 5:13 pm

        Aww. I do want them to stay together. That would be such a great movie premise.

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    • Jess

      Jess August 2, 2013, 4:16 pm

      I’m obsessed too! I just read all 20 something days and didn’t realize until the end that not all 40 days were loaded yet. Nooo!! I kept hitting refresh like sad lab rat hoping for more cheese. 🙁

      Now I have to wait til Monday for this AND the bachelorette. My tragic life!

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      • avatar

        TortoiseBear August 2, 2013, 4:54 pm

        Me too!!! I got to the end and was like “why can’t I scroll anymore??”

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      Matcha August 2, 2013, 5:24 pm

      Ugh, I twitter stalked as well and based on Jessica’s vague tweets around the time the project ended…I think they broke up.

      April 29: “Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it. ”

      April 28: “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”
      “The art of smile & nod when all you wanted was to punch them in the face”
      April 26: “Forgive quickly, kiss slowly, laugh uncontrollably, never regret anything that made you smile – Mark Twain”

      Or MAYBE she just wrote those tweets to make us think they broke up. The plot thickens..

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    • avatar

      demoiselle August 2, 2013, 6:51 pm

      They seem to be a really bad match to me… at last so far.

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  • the_optimist

    the_optimist August 2, 2013, 1:29 pm

    Wait maybe I missed something but how has no one mentioned that banana slicer? I am dying over its insanity, but I also want one so badly. And I just got Prime membership which means 2-day shipping = destined to be mine?

    Also, best comment:
    “I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way. “

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  • avatar

    Friend of Beagles August 3, 2013, 9:43 am

    That sons and purses thing reminds me of an incident when my son was 2 or 3 years old. He would always come with me to the post office, and one day he brought his “my first toolbox” soft Velcro toy with him. It was a Saturday, so the line was long. The guy in front of us was a tall, broad, jeans-and-flannel-wearing contractor type. He turned around and saw my little guy with his little toolbox and said quite heartily, “Hey man, you got your toolbox there?” And my son, brimming with confidence, said, “No, this is my purse.” I now know what the term “dumbstruck” looks like. His jaw opened and closed, and he then turned around and simply waited for his turn. (BTW, it didn’t bother my son at all, and I was doing all I could not to crack up.) Awesome. 🙂

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