Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links, February 22

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“Happiness Means Being Just Rushed Enough” [via Scientific American]

“When terrible, abusive parents come crawling back, what do their grown children owe them?” [via Slate]

“Let’s Talk About The Feminine Mystique, 50 Years After Its Debut: Are You Really Better Off Than Your Grandmother?” [via Glamour]

“Coming out to my wife” [via Salon]

This sweet pregnancy announcement from a longtime favorite blogger, Holly Burns, at Nothing But Bonfires, kind of makes me want to get pregnant again just for that sheer excitement and anticipation of a new baby (or maybe you just feel that way the first time?). Oh no, this is how it starts, isn’t it?

“Finding Mr./Ms. Wrong: Internet dating nightmares” [via Washington Times]

“Confessions Of A Bartender: 10 Things Every Bartender Absolutely Hates About You” [via HuffPo]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

You can follow me on Facebook here and sign up for my weekly newsletter here.

75 comments… add one
  • avatar

    lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 1:01 pm

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    • FireStar

      Firestar February 22, 2013, 1:08 pm

      But doesn’t this seem odd? If I knew I was conceived with a sperm donor and my fiancé was conceived with a sperm donor – I’d get genetic testing done before marriage. Just to be safe – no?

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 1:11 pm

        I’m 99% sure I wouldn’t. What are the odds?!

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      • FireStar

        FireStar February 22, 2013, 3:33 pm

        Well. I always knew I was type A but I totally would have gotten tested. Even if there was a chance I couldn’t risk it.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 3:44 pm

        If it occurred to me, maybe I would, but I never would’ve imagined.

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      • katie

        katie February 22, 2013, 4:10 pm

        did you hear about the one sperm donor who fathered like 400+ kids? that happens, serial donors… i would check. depending on how much it is. id probably ask my mother/his mother about it before just going out and getting tested.

        but honestly, it doesnt surprise me at all. lets add that one to the list of things to discuss before marriage.. haha

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      • Miss MJ

        Miss MJ February 22, 2013, 2:59 pm

        I wouldn’t, either. It just wouldn’t occur to me. Holy shit, though. Can you imagine having that conversation with your husband?

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  • Fabelle

    Fabelle February 22, 2013, 1:07 pm

    eek, the confessions of a bartender one. I understand why each & every one of those things would be annoying (& in some cases, much, much more than just “annoying”) BUT, my god. The tone is off-putting.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 1:26 pm

      Very!

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 1:37 pm

        Ok, I’m adding to my very. She sounds like a total bitch. I wish I knew the bar she works at so I could do all the things she tells people they aren’t allowed to…like order a pina colada? Wtf. Reading that made me angry.

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      • lemongrass

        lemongrass February 22, 2013, 2:27 pm

        The reason I go to bars is so I can order pina coladas and other fun shit that I don’t want to buy all the ingredients for or know how to make. Don’t like making them? Maybe you should reconsider being a bartender. It sounds like she just wants to do the bare bones of her job but wants to be treated like she’s the best ever.

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    • avatar

      6napkinburger February 22, 2013, 1:52 pm

      AND most “mixologists” LOVE when you ask them to make you something “fun” or of their choosing! They really know their stuff and they love to show it off, they love to be able to ask a few questions and make you the best drink of your life (assuming the bar isn’t packed, then just order off the damn menu/normal drinks). But I couldn’t believe that made the list: I get it, you went to college, you’re smart and you get pissed when i don’t act like I recognize this, but you get pissed when I try to utilize those smarts as applied to the service you are actually providing, for which you want me to “tip generously”? Seriously??

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 1:55 pm

        Also, I know you are supposed to tip 20% no matter what, and I do. But at the same time, its not an absolute requirement. If you act like you are a total bitch who is so bothered by me not knowing whether vermouth is or isn’t in a drink, I really would have a hard time tipping you at all. Plus, I’m miserable at work sometimes too. Everyone has a life outside of work. You try to be professional and not bring it to your job. So if you are in a job that requires dealing with others, smile. Its called professionalism. At least all the comments seemed to agree that this girl was wrong.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary February 22, 2013, 2:18 pm

        ” You try to be professional and not bring it to your job. So if you are in a job that requires dealing with others, smile. Its called professionalism.” Truth! This is what I don’t get when a server or a bartender is nasty to me. Or starts going on about their personal life. I don’t start randomly crying at work just because I’ve had problems at home. And I have to talk to my coworkers and other colleagues throughout the day. You leave your bad mood at home.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle February 22, 2013, 2:23 pm

        YES that was the one I didn’t get at all—like, dude, you can’t simultaneously act all high-and-mighty about your job & then be unwilling to do it. Getting mad when people undertip or act obnoxious: okay. Berating those who dare ask for unspecified “fun” drink? What the hell?

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      • avatar

        6napkinburger February 22, 2013, 2:28 pm

        You don’t deserve 20% for taking the cap off my beer; and most bartenders/mixologists get that… the righteous anger they feel is when they’ve muddled the basil and mint and properly combined 4 types of bitters to make your drink which they thought up and decided would fit your persona and mood and you just leave a dollar. Jeez.

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    • avatar

      SweetPeaG February 22, 2013, 2:02 pm

      Yes!

      Other then the sleezy guys and the low tipping, I didn’t think she needed to be that angry. I think I’d be intimidated to go to that bar. I’d have to plan out my order before I entered, so I wouldn’t order anything that might offend her.

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    • avatar

      bethany February 22, 2013, 2:33 pm

      I thought so too. Made me glad not to live in NYC!!!

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl February 22, 2013, 2:59 pm

      Just a question- have any of you bartended that are so “put off” by this article?

      I bartended for a year post college and my fiance is on year 7 of bartending to supliment our income and I founf this to be hysterical. If you’ve never been behind the bar- you might be surprized at how obnoxious people can be. Especially tourists.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 3:01 pm

        I’ve been a waitress and trust me, I’ve seen some total jerks and understand the general aggravations, but this was beyond those by a lot.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl February 22, 2013, 3:14 pm

        Some of the people who come into his bar, I’m amazed by their comments. Like being mad their bud light cost $3, daquaries are too sweet/not sweet enough/too frozen/not frozen enough, too much/not enough ice, 25 cent tips on $20 tabs becuase they think it’s funny. He has a lot of regulars/good customers but the bad ones…they are BAD.

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      • avatar

        ChemE February 22, 2013, 3:28 pm

        That’s a bit different than getting pissed I ordered a specific drink you don’t like making or asking for something “fun” or that I don’t know the ingredients to every drink on earth.
        What you listed I understand, not most of what the lady posted. Makes me self conscious because I actually like the drinks she called out, now I wonder if every bartender hates me when I order them.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl February 22, 2013, 3:36 pm

        I think the “fun” request is really hard though- because people are really particular in their drink likes/dislikes.

        And I think the comment about ordering a “very dry martini with no vermuth” being redundant is because 99% of people who are ordering a martini (a true martini not a cosmo) really know what they are drinking (and talking about) and if you’re one of the few who don’t- chances are you’re not going to like a true martini. You know?

        He loves it when people nicely ask questions and are interested in what they are drinking and variations on drinks, it’s like a hobby for him. But when people ask what’s in a jack and coke or someother stupid question and get pissed becuase he didn’t make their cosmo like the bartneder at applebees- it gets frustrating. Especially when you’re making your wages off of tips and have long hours. I know its the job he picked- but treat your bartenders with some love.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 3:41 pm

        I have to disagree. If you can’t be bothered entertaining someone who asks for a fun drink, you need a different job, or deserve shitty tips (presuming you aren’t extremely busy with other patrons).
        Wanting to try something new, or something suggested by a friend maybe, (the martini) warrants such a bitchy comment? No, it sounds like she’s a know-it-all and anyone who isn’t a well versed alcoholic just isn’t as cool as her.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl February 22, 2013, 3:50 pm

        Okay so what if you asked for “something fun” and were served a say an old fashoined. Butyou don’t like whiskey. You really wanted vodka or rum or something fruity. It’s one thing to inquire about something you’re ordering (ask differnt ingrediants, opinions etc), but to complain after saying “bartenders choice”…

        And a lot of times at a bar, there is so much going on the bartender doesn’t nessisarily have time to have a 20 min convo with you about what kind of “fun” drink you want. I mean you have to understand having waiting tables. If someone said “pick anything off of the menu” and then tipped you poorly on what you picked because they didn’t like it…that’s frustrating. And you couldn’t ask them 20 questions about their likes because you just got triple sat. I understand wanting to expand your tastes but you can’t get pissed when you don’t like something or the bartender is legitimetly busy.

        The lady sounds pretty bitchy, but a lot of her points are pretty fair. Okay, she sounds really stuck up. But I don’t think a lot of people understand what it’s like to be behind a bar being pulled in 30 directs. Most of her points are pretty good if you take out the snark.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle February 22, 2013, 4:00 pm

        I do understand her basic points, but she just sounds so incredibly bitter & unpleasant, with a side of “I’m too good to be serving you people, anyway” thrown in. I’m very, very sympathetic to servers, but…not to this particular woman, haha

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 4:15 pm

        Well I did say barring a very busy time. If u tip less bc u don’t like the surprise drink you ordered, you’re a jerk, but that’s not what I was talking about.

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      • avatar

        mainer February 23, 2013, 9:58 am

        Speaking of Old Fashions, and I would LOVE to have that bartender tell me how she makes one before getting all high and mighty on how to make/order drinks, but an Old Fashion should NOT HAVE PULP!! It should not have fruit. Maybe, MAYBE, a sliver of orange. But it’s an Old Fashion because it’s old fashion, it’s simple. Why is Brooklyn the ONLY place I go that seems to get this? The best Old Fashions I’ve ever had (aside from the comfort of my own home) have been in Brooklyn. Go across the bridge into Manhattan and you pay $15 for shit. Listen, if you want to be stern with you rules of etiquette to a bartender and how to “behave” in a bar, then you better be an actual bartender and not some half-ass who is there to make a lot of money of over-priced drinks and act like you’re so awesome. And you sure as shit can’t get pissed if I call you out on making a shitty drink.

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  • avatar

    kerrycontrary February 22, 2013, 1:41 pm

    How does everyone feel about the coming out to wife article? I know that coming out is very difficult, and must have been even more difficult 20 years ago, but don’t we all have a responsibility to be honest about our sexuality with potential marriage partners? To figure out what our sexuality is before we get married? This guy knew he was attracted to men in his 20s yet he still married his wife with seemingly no admission on his part to his wife. I mean I just feel horrible for the people whose spouses cheat on them, whether in a hetero or homosexual capacity, but I would feel so…confused about the person I was married to if it happened to me. It would be like “who are you?”, like I had been sleeping next to a stranger for 15 years.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 1:46 pm

      Its an awful thing to do to someone you are supposed to care about. I’m sure some will disagree with me, but that’s my opinion.
      One of my close friends was living with and engaged to a man who we all liked very much. She found photos of him cheating on her in their bed with a man. She needed so much therapy after that. It truly was awful for her, so I have no sympathy for this guy. If your confused about your sexuality, don’t get married! If you’re gay and think people will not like you bc of that, don’t get married! Why do that to another human being?

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      • avatar

        SweetPeaG February 22, 2013, 2:05 pm

        I couldn’t agree more. While I know it must be difficult to “come out”… don’t waste other people’s time/ruin other people’s lives. That’s beyond selfish.

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      • avatar

        llclarityll February 22, 2013, 2:20 pm

        Did you guys read the comments on the article? One person called the writer “heroic” and another “brave.” I don’t think there’s anything brave about cheating on your spouse for TWO YEARS (!!) and then coming out to them. Maybe I’d consider him brave if he told her before he cheated…maybe.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary February 22, 2013, 2:26 pm

        I totally agree with you. I get angry when I hear about things like that. My boyfriend’s one friend is on the down low, and I just feel so bad for the women that date him. I mean you choose to ruin someone’s life, possibly expose them to an STD (because sex between men is still considered a high-risk sexual acitivity), all because you can’t come to grips with your own sexuality? It seems very selfish to me.

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    • avatar

      rachel February 22, 2013, 2:00 pm

      I think it’s great that they were able to transition into more of a “monogamish” (a la dan savage) relationship with his confession, but I’m sad that he felt the need to lie and cheat to get to that place. I don’t get why people sometimes seem to think cheating is more “okay” if it’s with someone of the same gender. It’s a breech of trust either way.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary February 22, 2013, 2:20 pm

        Yes! Like how he said their marriage wouldn’t survive if he cheated on his wife with a woman. Cheating is cheating. Either way he was so unhappy in his marriage, and he didn’t have the courage to speak up about it so he just had sex with other men for 2 years. And now he’s patting himself on the back for building a more honest relationship with his wife.

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark February 22, 2013, 3:20 pm

        I get that though. Man on man? It’s a very DIFFERENT kind of cheating. Its not so much about competition. Look, there are simply MANY things a guy can do with another guy that he can’t do with his wife or any women. The psychology behind the wife realizing this actually makes sense to me… Hey, when I’ve been cheated on with a women, I wasn’t happy about it, but at the same time it wasn’t quite so much the slap in the face…

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      • theattack

        theattack February 22, 2013, 3:25 pm

        Maybe this is obtuse or just naive of me, but what in the world can a guy do with another guy that he can’t do with a woman? (Note: That is NOT at all a “why would you be with a man?” question. I’m just curious, because I don’t get your comment.)

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 3:27 pm

        Suck balls?

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      • theattack

        theattack February 22, 2013, 3:32 pm

        haha, Women have mouths! I don’t get it.

        BGM, is it a physiological issue or because women won’t do certain things that men will or what?

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 3:36 pm

        Suck someone else’s balls!

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      • theattack

        theattack February 22, 2013, 3:39 pm

        That makes too much sense. My thought immediately jumped to wondering if there was some sort of sex act I didn’t know about. lol Did anybody else ever wonder as a kid and/or teenager if there were more sexual acts they didn’t know about that were some sort of ultra secret that all the adults kept?

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 3:42 pm

        Um, YES. I asked what 69 was once, and my friend said think about it. I did, for a long time before realizing.

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      • theattack

        theattack February 22, 2013, 3:44 pm

        That SAME thing happened to me. Except the long time for me was like nine years… It’s just stupid to name a sex act after a number. It doesn’t even look like it.

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      • theattack

        theattack February 22, 2013, 3:42 pm

        In that case though, it’s still not _more_ you can do. It’s the same amount you can do, just different.

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      • avatar

        ChemE February 22, 2013, 3:29 pm

        I’m curious as well.

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      • avatar

        kerrycontrary February 22, 2013, 3:33 pm

        play catcher

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      • theattack

        theattack February 22, 2013, 3:34 pm

        ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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      • avatar

        6napkinburger February 22, 2013, 3:34 pm

        and DO the blowie things someone was mentioning below

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 3:37 pm

        if by play catcher, you mean receiving, there’s toys for that.

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      • bittergaymark

        Bittergaymark February 22, 2013, 6:24 pm

        Okay, all I can do is be blunt here… Um, a guy can’t suck his wife’s cock. He also can’t get fucked by it either… And a strap on just isn’t the same as its not “real.” That’s a quote from a married ex of mine… Many bi guys want to be the passive partner sexually. A concept that surprised me greatly.

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    • Skyblossom

      Skyblossom February 22, 2013, 2:03 pm

      I think some men do it because they are taught by their religion that their sexuality is a choice and that they need to choose the good instead of the evil so they try to live a life that is fake because they believe they must.

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    • avatar

      Anonymous February 22, 2013, 3:45 pm

      I’m a regular poster but decided to go anonymous with this comment because I’m not very open about this part of my life.

      My parents are this man and his wife, without the “happy” ending. My dad came out to my mom as bisexual in the mid-90s, after almost 15 years of marriage. My mom told me about his confession a few years ago. As a family, it’s the elephant in the room because my dad has never come out to me himself. I’ve struggled with this for awhile, but I can see both sides.

      So, please know, before you judge and dismiss someone as being selfish or cowardly, that the situations are usually much more complex than you can possibly imagine. For the record, I’m not saying it’s okay or a good thing to do to people, just that I think the situation is harder than you could imagine. Here’s the little I know about my dad’s situation (he spoke with my sister about it once very briefly). He comes from a very Catholic family. He went to a big, well-known hippie university in the 70s and he said it was a time when everyone was doing all kinds of crazy things. He didn’t realize that the homosexual experiences he had (or at least the “how he felt” part of what he was doing) was “abnormal” because everyone was doing it, not to mention, he still liked women, too! By the time he figured out that his actions were truly the result of his bisexuality, he was already married. He went to two priests for guidance; needless to say, they gave him crappy advice. He eventually confessed to my mom.

      They now hate each other (but are still married oddly enough).

      None of this really matters. All I really wanted to say is please don’t judge or dismiss this quickly. It’s a difficult situation to be in. I don’t think he did right by mom mom, but I also don’t think he had selfish motives going into his marriage. I won’t claim to understand what it’s like to grapple with any sort of sexuality “differences,” but I imagine that it’s difficult. Especially at a time when homosexuality and bisexuality weren’t as open as they are today. Especially when you come from a religious family that has taught you a specific way of being (heterosexual and monogomos) and will not accept you for your differences. I would also think (but again, can’t know for sure) that accepting bisexuality is somewhat different in accepting homosexuality in that you’re attracted to both genders. (It seems to me that if you’re not clearly attracted to one gender or another, it may take a bit longer to realize you’re “different.” Maybe someone else can speak to this?)

      It’s also difficult for people like me (children of people like my parents) to feel like we can be open about our families because we have to deal with judgmental remarks about what kind of person must do THAT.

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  • avatar

    llclarityll February 22, 2013, 2:03 pm

    OH MAN that piece by Holly Burns is beautifully. Totally surreal. You can almost feel the energy and time and anticipation just reading it.

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark February 22, 2013, 2:03 pm

    The coming out story is so hilariously self absorbed, but also… VERY typical. I love all the denial going on about how long it took him to admit even to himself that he likes Men. (So true, so accurate!) “uh, I just banged Stuart as he let me.” “Men were just convenient.” “I so love my wife, but here I am blowing one, two, three, four, five, six guys on the side!”

    My very own “Mr. Big” this super hot guy I had on again/off again sex with for nearly a decade was hilariously just like this. It was never that he liked me or even liked sleeping with men so much. It was just that I was SO great in bed. How could he resist? His words, not mine. Fairly accurate though, I suppose… 😉 And that he could feel free to do things that he’d simply never be able to do to a “lady,” because, you know, he respected her so very much. Hah! It always cracked me up. I mean, hey, nevermind that another thing he’d somehow simply never be able to do with a lady was, you know… to blow me for hours on end. That and bend over and take me like the little bitch he so desperately wanted to be called.

    This all sounds very tragic reading it. But truth be told — he was the best lay ever and at the time, I had no desire for a Real relationship — too busy chasing the ghost on my non-existent career. But no, I certainly didn’t want a relationship, especially not one with him. He was hot but he was a mess.

    The bartender chick sounds like a real bitch. Sadly, this seems increasingly typical for a bartender (male or female.) (Though I imagine that LA and NYC are the worst…) You know, judgmental,and yet — rather dim though and stupid. Sure, she expects 20 percent minimum, only she’s too dumb to make a decent Pina Colada. That’s not her fault though, it’s ours… And how dare somebody order a Bloody Mary in the evening! Of all the nerve. Yawn. Bitch, get the fuck over yourself. You sling drinks for a living. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t exactly put you up on much of a pedestal either.

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      lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 2:07 pm

      I actually LOL’d at bitch, get the fuck over yourself. How did I know I could count on you to come through on that article

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark February 22, 2013, 2:18 pm

        The whole piece is just so hilariously vapid and dumb. Hello, nobody drinks cranberry juice when they are constipated… That’s fucking prune juice!! Nothing like mocking people for being stupid when, you know actually, YOU’RE the one who is being stupid, Stefanie Williams! Then again, maybe the grandma was idiotic as her grandspawn and thusly spent her ENTIRE life constipated… “Damn Cranberries! Work you! Work!” Frankly, the ever brilliant Miss Williams had to get all that stupidity from somewhere.

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        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 2:22 pm

        I just can’t. I think I peed a little reading Damn cranberries! Work!

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        kerrycontrary February 22, 2013, 2:29 pm

        Smart people don’t need to tell everyone on the interwebs they are smart. And who here has treated a bartender like they are dumb? Because I haven’t.

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark February 22, 2013, 2:33 pm

        Now, now, Stefanie’s defense, she probably HAS frequently been treated like she is dumb because she smiles at people when they order a cosmo and says — “Aw, feeling constipated! This’ll help.”

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle February 22, 2013, 2:33 pm

        Yes, that bothered me too. Like, she is clearly projecting because SHE feels lowly or “too good” to be a bartender or whatever.

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        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 2:34 pm

        Good call. Maybe she’s the one with low self esteem about her job choice, but projects it onto others.

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    • avatar

      rachel February 22, 2013, 2:21 pm

      Some of the best drinks I’ve ever had have been bartender’s choice, judging from her own go-to drinks, I gather she just doesn’t have much of an imagination.

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    llclarityll February 22, 2013, 2:45 pm

    For the record, when I see “Glamour” and “Feminism” in the same sentence, I gag. Hellooo totally not credible source. You can tell me everything you know about shoes and tangerine colored lipsticks, but when you’re still featuring ads and advice that make women look like sex-feigning idiots, I can’t believe anything you write about when it comes feminism.

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    • bittergaymark

      bittergaymark February 22, 2013, 2:49 pm

      Eh, come on. You can be a feminist and still wanna look good. I am being 100 percent serious here. Case in point, Madonna. Honestly? I think feminism wouldn’t have such a bad rap if so many feminists didn’t seem so set in stone on their own misguided thinking that the two were somehow mutually exclusive.

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        llclarityll February 22, 2013, 3:01 pm

        True, but I’m more so talking about their other content. I’m cool with wanting to look good/dress good/feel good. But it’s their acceptance of ads with stick thin model woman whose mouths are all open like they’re going to give a blowie and headlines that still make women sound like a piece of meat that doesn’t jive with the feminist vibe they’re trying to put out there.

        They are doing better, though, but I wouldn’t call Glamour progressive.

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark February 22, 2013, 3:10 pm

        Eh, nobody wants to look at fat and ugly models. That’s a simple truth. Few will admit it, sure, but its decidedly true. I think you may also be overlooking that fact that by including feminist ideas in magazines that cater to those who probably would simply never seek them out on their own (Hey, how many twelve years olds are reading the “Feminine Mystique? How many 22 year olds?) magazines like Glamour actually ensure that those ideas reach a much wider audience…

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        llclarityll February 22, 2013, 3:17 pm

        I will give them that, they are exposing historical and political-based political ideas to ladies that may not have been reading about it on their own. But I kinda feel that it’s more of a cheerleader way like “See? Even though we have articles teaching ladies how to give the best blowies we’re so feminist because we have these really great other articles.”

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        lets_be_honest February 22, 2013, 3:20 pm

        Can you keep saying blowies? I’m finding it adorable. Related: I was asked not to use the term B Jibber any longer. Surprisingly, its a turn off.

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark February 22, 2013, 3:24 pm

        Hey, if more women gave better blowies, there would be more better marriages. Same is true with men giving… I dunno, eaties? Look, there is nothing inherently sexist about a blow job — though many make it so. Frankly? My take? That’s just more bad P.R….

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      • theattack

        theattack February 22, 2013, 4:09 pm

        I truly do not understand why a blow job is sexist. At all. It’s a sex act. One which happens to be really fun, pleasurable, and intimate.

        I do absolutely hate guys who want blow jobs but refuse to reciprocate though. Those guys are fuckpots.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle February 22, 2013, 4:24 pm

        Yeah, I’m not understanding that, either. There is nothing inherently sexist about sucking dick. Or wanting to learn how to do it “better” (I do think the tips in mainstream women’s magazines tend to “suck” though, aha haa)

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle February 22, 2013, 4:24 pm

        (sorry about that)

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      GatorGirl February 22, 2013, 3:58 pm

      Did you read it? It’s not written terribly well but it makes fair points. I’m going to see Stepahnie Coontz speak next month! “Madmen, Working ‘Girls’, and Desperate Housewives: Women, Men and Marriage in 1963 and 2013” I can’t wait.

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    6napkinburger February 22, 2013, 3:19 pm

    BTW: all you lawyers, i’m working on a pro bono 1983 case and I’m taking notes and keep writing DP as I write the notes quickly, but then giggle at it when I re-read such wonderful gems as: “But is this an instance of substantive DP? go deeper!!”

    Gotta love Fridays…

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  • Miss MJ

    Miss MJ February 22, 2013, 3:29 pm

    Re: the bartender, I’m sure it has never occurred to her that her less than 20% tips could stem from her failure to smile, snotty attitude about what her customers drink, and sneering at their hometowns and lifestyles. Why have a job where you have to interact with the public if you hate interacting with the public?

    That said, are there really people out there who demand that the bartender buy them a drink? Yikes!

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