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Friday Links, July 26

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

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“When you think your love story is boring” [via Lisa-Jo Baker]

“Funny wedding invitation RSVP goes viral” [via MSN]

“Life Without Sex” [via NYTimes]

“All My Exes Live in Texts: Why the Social Media Generation Never Really Breaks Up” [via NYMag]

“Study: 23 and 69 Are the Happiest Ages” [via Time.com]

“Instagram is even more depressing than Facebook. Here’s why.” [via Slate]

“Thanks To Better Sex Ed, California’s Teen Birth Rate Has Plummeted By 60 Percent” [via Think Progress]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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{ 49 comments… add one }

  • avatar bethany July 26, 2013, 1:33 pm

    A friend at work recently received an RSVP card similar to the one above. It was hilarious, and I loved it.
    On a serious note, I like the bit at the bottom about dietary restrictions.

  • avatar kerrycontrary July 26, 2013, 1:41 pm

    Wow I LOVE the “when you think your love story is boring” piece. I feel this way about my boyfriend. He’s so stable. We make decisions together. He’ll do anything for me, including running out late at night for a prescription from my doctor even though he has to get up at 5:30 the next morning. I can’t wait to watch him be a father and do all of those things as well. He’s not really romantic, so doing that mundane stuff for me is really what makes me love him more.

    I think 23 is actually difficult for a lot of people, especially if you just graduated college at 22. But I can totally see 55-70 being kickass years as long as you have your health.

  • theattack theattack July 26, 2013, 1:46 pm

    I have not been a fan of 23. If I didn’t happen to have such a supportive family and SO to help me with all the crazy stuff, it would have really sucked. I’m pretty surprised that’s a popular age for happiness because it’s a notably difficult time for a lot of people.

    I liked the love story piece too. I would have liked to hear more about their relationship and less about him being a father, but it was refreshing.

    • avatar lets_be_honest July 26, 2013, 1:55 pm

      I’m surprised you think that. Its the year you got married, right?

      • avatar lets_be_honest July 26, 2013, 1:57 pm

        Not to say that just because you got married, nothing else sucks…

      • theattack theattack July 26, 2013, 2:01 pm

        Yeah. But it’s also the year I graduated college and left my friends, moved to a new town I hate, struggled to find a job, struggled financially, struggled to keep in touch with the friends I just left, not able to find new friends in aforementioned shitty town, lost the car I’d been driving since 15 because it finally wore out and almost killed me and repairs are too expensive to fix it, and a bunch of other unlucky things. Twenty-three is an age when you’re suddenly responsible for everything, but you barely have the means or experience to keep it all afloat. That’s not all that fun. Twenty-four has to be better.

        • avatar lets_be_honest July 26, 2013, 2:03 pm

          Such a good point about it being the age you’re supposed to be self-reliant, yet can’t afford to be. Boo 23!

          • theattack theattack July 26, 2013, 2:08 pm

            Haha, Yes, boo 23!

            • avatar lemongrass July 26, 2013, 2:42 pm

              23 is so different for people though. At 23 I went on 2 vacations, my honeymoon and a trip to Mexico. I got pregnant, had my first year of being married and had the most financially flush year for a long time coming. 23 kicked ass for me!

    • avatar kerrycontrary July 26, 2013, 1:56 pm

      I think once you are a parent though, it becomes such a HUGE part of who you are as a person and who you are to your spouse. You can’t help it. And I don’t think you should let parenthood be all-consuming, but you probably like your spouse more if they are a better father and less if they aren’t very involved. So the two are probably just really intertwined at this point in their lives, especially with 3 kids close in age.

      • avatar lets_be_honest July 26, 2013, 1:58 pm

        It certainly shouldn’t be the only thing, but yea, seeing your SO be a great parent to your child brings out more love for that person.

        • avatar bethany July 26, 2013, 2:01 pm

          I’m not a parent yet, but seeing how my husband acts with our nephew and the little girl next door is amazing. I can’t wait to see him with our kid, one day.

          And with that, DRINK, because my clock is ticking.

      • theattack theattack July 26, 2013, 2:03 pm

        That’s a very good point. I’ve never thought of them as intertwined like that. I’ve always assumed that when parents say stuff like this article, they’ve kind of lost their romance for each other in exchange for diaper changing and more procedural type things. Maybe it’s more combined, like you said.

        • avatar kerrycontrary July 26, 2013, 2:06 pm

          I’m sure a lot of the romance is gone, but a lot of marriage isn’t romantic. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other and you aren’t IN love with each other because of who you are as parents. I think ideally parenthood should make love grow between a couple, not take away from it.

          • theattack theattack July 26, 2013, 2:12 pm

            Interesting. Parenthood making love grow is completely foreign to me. I’ve always assumed it was soul-sucking and resentment-breeding and that it dulled down love (not just romance, but all aspects).

            I did like the stuff about him taking care of her when she was sick, or like your boyfriend going to fill your prescription for you.

            • avatar lets_be_honest July 26, 2013, 2:13 pm

              Haha, ta, what an awful description!

              • theattack theattack July 26, 2013, 2:43 pm

                It happens so often though.

            • avatar lemongrass July 26, 2013, 2:47 pm

              Parenthood has absolutely made my love for my husband deeper. Hearing him talk to our son while he gives me an extra hour of sleep makes my heart melt. Watching them laugh together when my husband gives him whisker rubs gives me more butterflies than I’ve ever had before. I loved my husband before E. I loved him for not showing me how grossed out he was when he had to empty my puke bowls when I got really sick. I loved him for being the kind, generous, helpful, thoughtful man that he is. But I love him more now. I love him for loving E. For being an excellent father, for caring, for giving E a great childhood. It’s like I love him not just for my sake for E’s sake too.

              • avatar lets_be_honest July 26, 2013, 3:10 pm

                Should you be sleeping, rather than listening? :)

                • lemongrass Lemongrass July 26, 2013, 3:50 pm

                  Probably!

    • avatar GatorGirl July 26, 2013, 1:57 pm

      yeah, 23 was a rough year for me too. 27 has been the best by far.

    • avatar lets_be_honest July 26, 2013, 1:58 pm

      23 was pretty good for me. The “baby” was 2 already, I was settled into parenting and having my own place, finally beginning to feel comfortable in all my new roles.

    • avatar kerrycontrary July 26, 2013, 2:08 pm

      oh and I didn’t like 23. I was past my first year of grad school, friend were far away, boyfriend was far away. 24 and beyond have been good.

    • Fabelle Fabelle July 26, 2013, 2:36 pm

      You’re only 23??

      • theattack theattack July 26, 2013, 2:39 pm

        Yup. I’ll be 24 in a couple of weeks. I’m hoping that’s magically easier somehow.

    • Lindsay Lindsay July 26, 2013, 2:57 pm

      I felt the same way about the love story one, theattack. I guess mostly because I don’t have kids or plan to have them, so most of the stuff she talked about isn’t anything I could relate to or want to relate to.

      • theattack theattack July 26, 2013, 3:03 pm

        Yeah, same here mostly. I think I just generally wish I could hear more people would talk about what it’s like to not have kids, or talk about what marriage is like outside of focusing on the kids. I enjoy hearing both sides of the story. Even if kids are a big part of their marriage, there has to be a lot of stuff left only between the two of them.

  • avatar bethany July 26, 2013, 2:00 pm

    I loved 23. I loved 23 a little too much :)

    • avatar bethany July 26, 2013, 2:22 pm

      Also, I can’t wait to retire. I bet that’s why 69 is so happy.

      I’ve decided that we’re moving to Costa Rica when we retire.

    • Fabelle Fabelle July 26, 2013, 2:36 pm

      I also loved 23 a little too much…

    • avatar Sassy but Classy July 26, 2013, 7:29 pm

      I think 23 is the most fun age, none of my friends were married yet. We partied all the time, not a care in the world. Didn’t make a lot of money, but enough to get by. However, I have a feeling 31-32 will be some of my happiest years, but because I’m getting married.

      • avatar LT July 29, 2013, 8:34 am

        OH this just made me think of something (though maybe not true for you)- maybe 23 is only delightful in retrospect. We remember the parties and the excitement of just scraping by and have nostalgia for relationships (whether or not they lasted), but not the agony of getting started in a career, having friends move away after college, and the drama that could come from the relationships. Just a theory.

  • Copa Copa July 26, 2013, 2:06 pm

    I thought 23 was just “meh.” I LOVED 18-22, though.

    • Nicolasa Nicolasa July 26, 2013, 5:18 pm

      Ya, 18- 22 was awesome. College, then traveling for a year after graduation. 23 is when adulthood hit. Got my first grown up job, then had to start paying all my bills. I’m curious what 69 hits. Maybe I’ll go back to school and travel without a care again!

      • Nicolasa Nicolasa July 26, 2013, 5:18 pm

        Edit: “what 69 brings”

  • Fabelle Fabelle July 26, 2013, 2:45 pm

    Okay, the “all my exes live in texts” one— I’m sure I could apply more critical thought to it, but seeing I’m bad about that today, I’m just going to say that lady is thinking WAY too much about her “exes.” I understand the point she’s making—yeah, I see my ex on my gmail chat sidebar & my past FWBs always like my pictures—& this is DIFFERENT than it used to be! but, I don’t know. The examples she was giving seemed very melodramatic when extended into a long-ish article like that?

    • avatar lemongrass July 26, 2013, 2:48 pm

      She should have stopped after the first section of the article. I got halfway and got bored.

    • Lindsay Lindsay July 26, 2013, 3:00 pm

      I thought it was really stupid. Like just unfriend them if they’re taking up that much of your life. I mean, I get the point that things CAN be a lot different and that there are more ways for your exes to pop up, but it’s entirely reliant on how you treat things. The exes that I’m still Facebook friends with are people that I don’t really see as exes so much as just acquaintances or friends now. So I don’t go on Facebook and think, “Oh no! More pics from my ex.”

      I also want to know who she is talking about when she says “peers.” Hopefully just her friends because that stuff about not wanting to shut doors seems kind of pathetic.

      • avatar bethany July 26, 2013, 3:13 pm

        Yes, that was my thought, too. If you don’t want to see your ex on FB, you don’t have to. They make it super easy to unfriend and block people.

        And Fab is right, she is thinking WAY too much about them. I mean, I’m as guilty as the next guy of seeing a picture of my ex and his wife and secretly being a little happy that she looks like she’s gaining weight, but it occupies about 3 seconds of my day. I’m not sitting at home thinking about her or him, or writing an article all about it!

  • avatar TECH July 26, 2013, 2:48 pm

    Omg the article where the woman didn’t have sex for 12 years . . . starting when she was 27. I have such a fear that I will be celibate for a long time. Hard to tell if her’s was truly by choice or by circumstance.

  • avatar lemongrass July 26, 2013, 2:50 pm

    I loved, loved, loved the ‘when you think your love story is boring’ article. Those are the reasons I love my husband. I say that we’re boring, but that’s a good thing. It’s easy, drama-free love. We’re ordinary people and I love it that way.

    • avatar lets_be_honest July 26, 2013, 2:58 pm

      Boring is good. I love boring.

      • avatar GatorGirl July 26, 2013, 3:50 pm

        I love boring too. I was telling GGuy the other day how I didn’t have anything to “gossip” on the phone with my friends about now that the wedding is over because we are so wonderfully boring. He got all confused but I think I finally got him to understand I meant boring in a good way! (The awesome no drama/crazies way!)

        • avatar bethany July 26, 2013, 3:53 pm

          That’s why I love DW so much! I dont’ have any other source of drama in my life, so I like to read about other peoples!

  • avatar Boosker July 26, 2013, 3:19 pm

    23 was definitely my drunkest age. Here’s hoping the trend returns in my late 60′s.

  • othy othy July 26, 2013, 4:25 pm

    23 was not a good year. My job was crazy stressful, to the point I felt unsafe (I worked at a treatment center, and my bosses were awful about locking up the knife drawer…). My husband was refusing the get help for his depression, and money was really tight. I was in grad school, and was simply trying to keep my head above water.

    Fast forward to 24. I got a new job (they offered it to me 2 days before my birthday. I spent my birthday in Hawaii (a bonus from my stressful job, just about the only good thing about it). Came back from Hawaii and quit my old job to start my new (dream) job. My husband got treatment for his depression, which really helped things. Later that year, we were able to buy our house, and get a pair of kitties. Oh, and I my oldest niece was born. A much, much better year :)

    Although, 28 has been quite good for me too. I got a major raise, my husband will be quitting his job and going back to school full time next month. We’ve gotten to travel, both for work and for fun. And 2 of my nieces have turned one this year.

  • avatar spark July 26, 2013, 5:34 pm

    23 was amazing for me! 22 and 24, too.

  • avatar SpaceySteph July 27, 2013, 4:39 pm

    Epic RSVP card. I wish we had done something fun like that, but I wanted to spend as little time and money on invitations as possible (so more could be spent on food and booze of course!) and wouldn’t have had the patience to make something like that.

    Random thing… does anyone else hate the M? I don’t really want to write Miss Spacey Steph or now I guess Mr. and Mrs. Hubs and Steph Spacenerd. Usually I cross the M out and write my name. Is that mean? A friend of mine who’s name starts with an M just writes the rest of her name after it.
    When we did the invitations, I’m like “I don’t care what it says, as long as there’s no M.”

    • avatar GatorGirl July 29, 2013, 8:56 am

      I don’t have an issue with the “M____” but I also don’t mind being called Mrs GatorGuy. We did an online RSVP so the guests just typed in their first and last name, no Mr or Miss or Mrs needed. I don’t think it’s rude to cross out (or disregard) the “M”.

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