Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links: June 1

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

From Huffington Post: “Why You’re Still Not Married”

From XOJane: 31 women show off diversity in beach bodies

An oldie but goodie from The Daily Beast: “Public Marriage Proposals Gone Wrong: The 11 Biggest Fails.”

From Forbes.com: Career Lessons from “Mad Men”‘s Peggy Olson

From Yahoo Shine: “Top 10 Reasons Why We’re Dumped”

From Slack Story: “20 Guys Trying to Bang a Total Psycho on OkCupid”

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

 

 

 

65 comments… add one
  • avatar

    lets_be_honest June 1, 2012, 1:28 pm

    Oh no, I just sent in my first link. Its the most hysterical thing ever. Now do I wait for next week or post here? Decisions, decisions.

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest June 1, 2012, 2:59 pm

      YOU ADDED IT! You are the best Wendy!

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson June 1, 2012, 3:11 pm

        What are you doing over there with your big self?

        LBH I am crying I am laughing so hard.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson June 1, 2012, 3:14 pm

        Not mysterious. Just dead inside.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 1, 2012, 3:23 pm

        Good news my cat didn’t die, it was just really fast asleep.

        Glad to hear, lets get drinks.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson June 1, 2012, 3:27 pm

        I love that almost all of her answers start with some crisis. The guy that offered his bed after her house burned down was great. How thoughtful of him.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2012, 3:29 pm

        ……….anal is supposed to help with that.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson June 1, 2012, 3:32 pm

        Sick. The general public is disgusting. I would never internet date. I would be single forever with 5 dogs before I subjected myself to those freaks.

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      • katie

        katie June 1, 2012, 4:07 pm

        its ok- as long as you dont have intercourse with strangers it looks like it would work fine.

        lol

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      • avatar

        MJ June 1, 2012, 4:11 pm

        I am dating a fantastic non-freak I met online, so sometimes it works! But there’s a lot of crap to wade through.

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      • avatar

        rachel June 1, 2012, 4:14 pm

        I met my boyfriend on OkCupid. They’re not all crazies (though a lot of them are, haha)

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2012, 4:55 pm

        Hahah I was on there too. I might be crazy, though.

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      • avatar

        Rachel June 2, 2012, 1:31 am

        Ohhh…maybe I’m the crazy in the relationship. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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      • Brad

        Brad June 2, 2012, 8:16 am

        I’ve not had any luck on OKC. I must be the master at sending boring messages or something because after like 2 or 3 they seem to stop responding… :-/

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2012, 3:24 pm

        AHAHA I love this!!

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest June 1, 2012, 3:12 pm

      Guys, you really, really should read the last one. I sat at my desk laughing so hard I cried.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson June 1, 2012, 3:16 pm

        Lets get together and make up a new safe word.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 1, 2012, 3:40 pm

        The worst is that her Things I Can’t Live Without are pretty much the same as mine. Except her’s is fake and an example of a crazy person. ๐Ÿ™

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson June 1, 2012, 3:43 pm

        I know I kinda saw that. I mean clearly the girl was kind of ghetto – but overall I didn’t think she said anything that ridiculous – it was more the crazy guys.

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl June 1, 2012, 3:47 pm

      I don’t know why but “w/a phone probs” made me almost cry. Hahaha. This is ridiculous!

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2012, 4:09 pm

        I think I like the Hot Pockets one the best. “nvm.. i like eating asshole! ;)”

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 1, 2012, 5:01 pm

        Seriously though, what the hell does this girl have against Hot Pockets. They are one of the greatest inventions ever.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2012, 6:57 pm

        Hot Pockets ARE awesome.

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  • bittergaymark

    bittergaymark June 1, 2012, 1:37 pm

    The one where he falls off the ledge is kinda genius!

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  • Lili

    Lili June 1, 2012, 1:39 pm

    I’m debating buying the Why you’re not married Lady’s book…If only Wendy had written it, I’d buy it in a heartbeat.

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    • Lili

      Lili June 1, 2012, 5:22 pm

      Ok i’m pulling an “Addie” and replying to my own comment. So I think I will buy the book, but maybe when it comes in paperback. IDK, I think the whole gist of her message is ‘don’t be a self absorbed bitch and give the nicer (not super sex god douchebag hot) guys more of a chance because in the end, its those guys that DO end up marrying you.’

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 1, 2012, 5:45 pm

        Do you know how happy it makes me to see my name referenced when I’m not even here? Very. It makes me want to take my pants off and poor a glass of wine. Which, what do you know, is what I’m doing right now!

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  • katie

    katie June 1, 2012, 1:41 pm

    i liked the why your not married one… that girl sounds hilarious. i just like the way she wrote that.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow June 1, 2012, 2:17 pm

      I remember the first one rubbing me the wrong way, but this one was better. I chuckled a bit too. I guess she didn’t want to piss off too many people since she’s selling a book now, but also wanted to remain controversial enough to sell a book. I think she succeeded in finding that balance.

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      • avatar

        6napkinburger June 1, 2012, 2:39 pm

        I read “How not to marry the wrong man” and “Mr. Maybe – the case for for settling” the same weekend, when I was trying to figure out whether to break up with my then boyfriend. That was funny.

        Haven’t decided if I’m willing to read this when I know what my issues are. (lack of working out =squishiness and emotional neediness.) I think it will just make me feel bad about stuff I already know. No?

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  • avatar

    cporoski June 1, 2012, 1:50 pm

    OK, so the top ten reasons why you were dumped… number 2 was HYGENE??? I need a better explination. Does that mean she was dirty or her apartment was dirty? I just can’t imagine that all these guys are dumping girls because they are gross. Boys are way more dirty then girls.

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    • bittergaymark

      bittergaymark June 1, 2012, 2:15 pm

      Think…PERSONAL hygiene and not so much her apartment…

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2012, 4:00 pm

        omg!!

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      • Budj

        Budj June 1, 2012, 4:05 pm

        Exactamundo. If you have a funky smell down there go take care of it. haha.

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      • avatar

        cporoski June 1, 2012, 4:08 pm

        so smelly with bad breath??? If you had a great person, wouldn’t some soap fix this?

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      • avatar

        MJ June 1, 2012, 4:13 pm

        I start to get paranoid about stuff like this and then I realize that if the girl (or guy) had been what the dumper truly been looking for, they’d suggest some soap and continue the relationship. It’s just a symptom of bigger, less-easy-to-define relationship problems.

        (Unless it’s REALLY bad…)

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  • CatsMeow

    CatsMeow June 1, 2012, 2:15 pm

    I wish I could negotiate my salary. I think it’s a lot different for folks like me working for local government than it is for those in the private sector. AND now we have a wage freeze. I suppose it could be worse.

    Also, spoiler alert much? I’m not caught up on Mad Men!

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    • bittergaymark

      bittergaymark June 1, 2012, 2:16 pm

      Oh, come on! You can’t read ANY article on Mad Men and not be caught up without being spoiled…

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2012, 2:19 pm

        True! I usually avoid anything Mad Men related, including others’ Facebook status updates, just in case. I’ve only seen the first couple episodes of season 5.

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  • avatar

    GatorGirl June 1, 2012, 2:57 pm

    All those proposal videos made me so uncomfortable! I’m glad when my fiance proposed it was mostly private!

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest June 1, 2012, 2:59 pm

      How’d he do it?

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl June 1, 2012, 3:31 pm

        We were in a park next to a river. So there was other people around but we didn’t know any of them and none of them could hear what he was saying. And then we went to a candy store! haha

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 1, 2012, 3:42 pm

        ๐Ÿ™‚ love engagement stories.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl June 1, 2012, 3:56 pm

        ๐Ÿ™‚ Best part was he surprised me wth a family herloom ring. I cried for like four hours. Oh and it was April Fools Day! We’re thinking about using the kind of candy we bought right after for the wedding favors.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 1, 2012, 4:08 pm

        Very nice idea to use the candy.
        Was the ring your family’s or his? This is going to sound really obnoxious probably, but I’ve kind of worried about getting, say, his great grandma’s ring. My friend got that from her now husband, its very delicate and old looking and she doesn’t really like it, so she only wears her wedding band now. I’m probably crazy and would love it “just because” but the snotty B in me has thought about it.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl June 1, 2012, 4:21 pm

        It is from my family. It is actually my great grandmothers wedding band and engagement ring soddered together. Once we get married I plan on only wearing a wedding band since this ring is very delicate (1930ish) and won’t work well with another band. We’ve tossed around the idea of getting another ring 5 or 10 years after we’re married to wear as an engagement ring, but I don’t know that I need it. I’m not a very flashy person- currently I’m planning on getting just a solid gold wedding band no diamonds or anything.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 1, 2012, 4:27 pm

        Yea, I’m not flashy either. And I would not ever change for an upgrade (at least I don’t think I ever would). So I guess that’s maybe why I hope to really, really like it.

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      • avatar

        painted_lady June 1, 2012, 5:50 pm

        My grandmother’s engagement ring came with an incredibly sweet story – she was a war bride and got married so quickly before my grandfather shipped out that they just used gold bands. After he came home they moved in with her sister and brother-in-law to save money, and they spent a lot of time on the porch so they could have some privacy. If it was cold my grandmother would put her hands in his coat pocket, so he stuck the ring in there so she’d find it, but she wasn’t cooperating fast enough, so he told her to check it. She told me that story, and I went home and checked with my mom, and she said, “Oh, yeah, I used to have that ring but it got lost.” I’m still sort of irritated with her for that…

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl June 1, 2012, 5:55 pm

        That’s terrible that it got lost!! But also a very sweet story ๐Ÿ™‚

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest June 1, 2012, 3:51 pm

    Just popped over to “the other site” and saw an article by our favorite “writer” there about a teacher (female, 26) and student (male, 18). I’ll try to link. Of course, she blames the student pretty much entirely.
    http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-06-01/douchebag-teen-boy-hooked-up-with-teacher-on-500-bet/

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    • avatar

      rachel June 1, 2012, 4:18 pm

      “Flirting? Getting thrown out of class? Trying to โ€œseduceโ€ her? This sounds like sexual harassment to me. And worse, it is sexual harassment that she will never get any sympathy for because sheโ€™s the one who was unprofessional here.”

      Um…I don’t think she was feeling very harassed, considering she hooked up with the kid. Sure, behavior like that is sexual harassment. That’s why you are supposed to report it and discipline the kids responsible. Why would anyone have sympathy for her?

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    • TaraMonster

      TaraMonster June 1, 2012, 4:18 pm

      What are you doing to me LBH?! It is exceptionally hard to NOT click that link- the toddler in my brain sooo wants to read it, but I vowed way back not to give her page views. I’m about to break my vow. cursor. moving. toward. link. i. can’t. stop. it…. no!!!

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster June 1, 2012, 4:39 pm

        Ok I’m back. And seriously, WTF. I’m about to go on a feminist rant, you have been warned:

        I think the way we socialize boys to view girls (ie as objects) is one of the significant contributions to many forms of misogyny, BUT yapping on about how these 18-yr-old kids are a bunch of douches because they’re repeating patterns that they’ve seen in their own lives and glorified in the media misses the point entirely. The patterns they’re repeating are not great, sure, and they do represent patriarchal structures, but this is NOT the message in her piece. All she does is shame the boys, not talk about how it might be important to teach boys how to respect themselves and the rest of humanity.

        The take away from this situation should be this: Having one of your formative romantic relationships be one in which there is a significant power dynamic is damaging to a person’s psyche whether they’re male or female. This woman was the adult in the scenario and she abused her power, full stop. FULL STOP.

        I’m an f’ing tea kettle right now. Jesus.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 1, 2012, 5:00 pm

        Yeah, my take-away was that she was angry that the fact the boys did something douchey is going to be overlooked because of the sensationalism of the female teacher hooking up with her younger male student. I might be giving her too much credit, but I think that’s the point she was TRYING to make.

        However, instead of just using the story as a springboard for discussing why what the boys did was bad and how it’s prominent in our society and shouldn’t overlooked and why it happens and why people tolerate it, yeah… she just shamed the boys and let the teacher off the hook. And everyone’s just going to get mad at her for letting the teacher off the hook and completely miss the potentially good point she was trying to make. Yeah. She totally missed the mark on this one.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster June 1, 2012, 5:42 pm

        That’s exactly why she bugs me, though. I actually think she has good intentions (but you know what they say about good intentions… the road to hell is paved with them). The problem is, and this is kind of mean- she fails at nuance, and then when she’s called out on it she gets rabidly nasty. She just doesn’t explain feminist ideas well. And to people not versed in broad Feminist ideas, her word is taken as gospel and then the rest of us are left debunking all the convoluted information she puts out there. It’s annoying.

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    • bittergaymark

      bittergaymark June 3, 2012, 12:51 am

      I suppose the teacher in question recently lost some weight, so she was hot, and mislead by he own upbringing which made it hard for her to just say know, eh? This kind of stuff is so fucked up…

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    • avatar

      overit June 3, 2012, 8:10 pm

      Hmm. Funny how the site is hated so much for it’s nastiness and snark, yet a link is posted here for comments to do the same thing.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 4, 2012, 3:13 pm

        Just posted for discussion. It is “Friday Links” afterall.

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    • avatar

      WatersEdge June 4, 2012, 6:54 am

      Am I the only one who doesn’t give a flying fuck whether those kids conspired to seduce her? As the teacher and the person in a position of authority, she should have had the wherewithal to report those boys for disciplinary action. And letting her off the hook because they were persistent is insane. That’s like saying a parent is justified in letting their kid eat chocolate for dinner because they ask over and over.

      As a feminist (and as a woman in a position of authority myself) I’m appalled that the author so completely let the woman off the hook. Women need to step up and be the leader when the situation calls for it, and not whine about how the patriarchy makes it impossible for women to behave ethically. They were students at a school where she taught; she had everything she needed to stop the behavior if she wanted to. She chose to sleep with one of them instead, and that’s her fault, and she deserves to be fired for it. Tough shit.

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      • Brad

        Brad June 4, 2012, 8:01 am

        A lack of personal accountability is a persistent problem in this country these days. Sadly it’s a trend I don’t see changing anytime soon.

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  • avatar

    Anna June 1, 2012, 10:26 pm

    I liked the one about larger women shamelessly wearing bikinis. And many of them look great and aren’t even fat! I was surprised to see many women in the gallery were much larger than I and still have killer confidence in swimwear. I always opt for a tankini because I’m self-conscious about my imperfect stomach, but this article kinda made me want to go out and buy a bikini. If the size 24 ladies can pull it off with that kind of self-confidence, my cute little size 14 self should also be able to.

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    • avatar

      Addie Pray June 2, 2012, 9:11 pm

      Blondie! I like your new do, Anna. And I like your confidence. When did we decide that size 0, 2, 4, etc. were the norm, anyway? They’re not! I wish I had more confidence in my bikini. The old ladies at my pool seem to have more confidence than I do. What’s *that* about?!

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      • Brad

        Brad June 3, 2012, 12:49 am

        Addie, I don’t think 0, 2, or 4 were ever decided as the “norm” as in the average size (I think the national average is a 14 if I’m not mistaken). The reason you hear those numbers is because that’s what society decided was the ideal and most desired by men. Personally I think a 0 and 2 is usually too damn skinny (depending on height of course) but that’s another matter…

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 3, 2012, 6:46 am

        The “ideal” not the “norm” – that’s right.

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    • avatar

      Caris June 3, 2012, 11:57 am

      I saw all the pictures and there are a few that are not fat, at all. I think the trick to wearing a bikini with confidence is not giving a damn about what other ppl think.

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