Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links: June 15

Here are a few links from around the web that may interest you:

From CNN.com’s The chart: “Every woman needs a ‘gaggle’ of men”

From HuffPo: “My Canceled Wedding”

From the New York Observer: “Home Invasion: With apartments scarce, even settled, married couples are opening up their homes to strange bedfellows”

From A Cup of Jo: “What Annoys You About Your Significant Other?”

From Vulture.com: “The 50 Worst Synonyms in Fifty Shades of Grey”

From Tiny Buddha: “7 Crucial Steps to Minimize Drama in Your Life

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

37 comments… add one
  • Kristina

    Kristina June 15, 2012, 12:41 pm

    I’m not sure how to explain it, but that ‘gaggle of men’ article really rubs me the wrong way. Like why would you want to be hanging out with an ex boyfriend in that way again? I don’t get it.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow June 15, 2012, 1:02 pm

      I just wanna know what guy out there is going to be OK with being one of a “gaggle”? I’m sure they’re out there, but I wouldn’t think it would be that easy to find 3 men WHO YOU LIKE who are comfortable knowing that you’re dating/doing 2 other guys. I feel like you’d have to constantly rotate, because eveutally someone is going to want to have the “exclusive” talk.

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      • Kristina

        Kristina June 15, 2012, 1:05 pm

        Yeah, it’s a strange concept.

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      • dabbler

        dabbler June 15, 2012, 1:46 pm

        I feel sorry for the designated “cuddle guy”. Haha.

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      • Brad

        Brad June 15, 2012, 2:33 pm

        I think I’ve been the cuddle guy before πŸ™

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      • Leroy

        Leroy June 15, 2012, 2:46 pm

        You’ll notice that the woman recommending this approach intends to remain single.

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    • avatar

      Elle June 15, 2012, 2:12 pm

      I could have written that article! (I’m joking, just in case it doesn’t come through the internets.)

      It reminds me of a joke: a guy says: “I need a woman that can cook, a woman that is great in bed, and a woman that is a lady in society. It’s also very important that these three women never meet each other.”

      A couple of years ago, I realized I need a guy for tennis, a guy for ski, a guy for salsa, and (a friend kindly reminded me I need) a cuddle guy. And I did have that! Well, a few guys for tennis, two guys for ski, and quite a few guys for salsa. And just one for cuddling. I realized it’s hard to find one guy that shares all my hobbies, so I had to get it from somewhere else. I wasn’t and still am not dating any of them. Well, the cuddly guys is now an ex :).

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 15, 2012, 3:22 pm

        Hey I have friends that fill different needs in my life, and many of them ARE guys – but I wouldn’t expect to have sex with all of them, as the author suggests (although good on her for insisting that it be “safe” sex!) and not expect some friction. Unless I was lying to all of them, which I couldn’t do.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle June 15, 2012, 3:51 pm

        I don’t know, I feel like it could be done as long as the guys aren’t friends with each other? If you’re dating around, isn’t it cool to tell the people you’re seeing “hey, just so you know, we’re not exclusive” or whatever? As long as it’s not “hey, you’re just part of my gaggle of men, okay?” Because that sounds…not as acceptable, ha

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 15, 2012, 7:08 pm

        haha.. yeah, I suppose. I don’t have a problem with the concept, I just can’t see myself logistically pulling it off.

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest June 15, 2012, 12:48 pm

    I read My Canceled Wedding earlier this week. Good article for women, or men, to read. It was a little sad she only found the courage to do it because her mom agreed with her, but I get it.

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary June 15, 2012, 1:33 pm

      I thought it was awesome as well. And why I think people need to date for a good amount of time before they get married so the hormones can stop taking over.

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson June 15, 2012, 1:51 pm

      I still need my mom’s approval to do a lot of things. πŸ™ I’m hoping I don’t need to go to therapy and really she is just super level headed. I mean I ask her advice on everything because she will always politely tell me when I’m being a brat, give me encouragement when I need it, and always decline having an opinion if she knows it’s inappropriate.

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        lets_be_honest June 15, 2012, 1:57 pm

        The only time I don’t ask my parents for their opinion is when I know they’ll disagree with me πŸ™‚
        I’m too obsessed with what my parents (and siblings for that matter) will think of me if I do x, y, z.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson June 15, 2012, 2:03 pm

        Me too. I have to call my brother for a lot of things in life. I’m pretty lucky to have level headed people around me though. I kick all the crazies out of my life πŸ™‚ So I don’t feel bad for my inability to make big life decisions without at least 4 peoples’ input.

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    • avatar

      ktfran June 15, 2012, 3:06 pm

      I read that article ealier this week too. It made my nearly cry at work. I don’t think it’s a secret on this site that I canceled a wedding, but unlike the writer, I didn’t have my mom’s blessing. She told me that it was ok I never wanted to have sex with my fiance. I would get over it. Or we could make it work because he was a great guy.

      She understands I made the right decision now, but I needed her support, and a lot of support when making that decision. Heck, I’m getting teary eyed now.

      I wish there were more articles like that. Saying it’s ok. If something isn’t right, you don’t have to settle.

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  • Fabelle

    Fabelle June 15, 2012, 12:52 pm

    I really like the Cup of Jo one– spot-on. If you can’t treat minor annoyances in a joking way, I think there’s some compatiblity problems. Everyone has annoying habits.

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    • avatar

      Kristen June 15, 2012, 12:54 pm

      I really liked that one too!

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    • avatar

      ktfran June 15, 2012, 2:24 pm

      That was mine, that was mine!

      I’m so glad it made the cut.

      Sorry, I was excited to see it linked up.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 15, 2012, 3:25 pm

        I know what you mean, lol. Wendy posted mine last week and I had the same feeling I imagine real writers get when their work is published. I’m ridiculous.

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    • avatar

      bethany June 15, 2012, 3:01 pm

      I really liked that too. The people I love the most in life drive me nuts, but their positive qualities FAR outweigh the bad. Yeah, my dad is the loudest human I’ve ever met- so what? He’s an amazing person and father, and has a great sense of humor. My mom tells me the same stories 45 times with the same amount of enthusiasm as the first time she told it, but she’s loyal, and loving, and is a great cook.

      When you really love people, you love all of them, even those parts that annoy the shit out of you!!

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      • Brad

        Brad June 15, 2012, 3:14 pm

        lol my mom does that with stories too. She’s got about a dozen on the recycle list. Unless I’m in a really frustrated/bad mood (rare for me) I tend to pretend I haven’t heard it before.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson June 15, 2012, 3:16 pm

        See my mother in law does this and it annoys the shit out of me – but that’s probably because I don’t like her in general and can NEVER imagine telling her I love her. But yeah I’m sure if my mom did it I would put on my fake smile and listen like it’s the coolest story I’ve ever heard. That’s love.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 15, 2012, 3:28 pm

        My grandparents have been married for 60 years. My grandpa is suffering from Alzheimer’s now, for about 2 years. They still live in the house my mom grew up in because my grandma “can’t imagine living one night without him next to her.” Its hard on her. She’s very old, but still mobile. He asks the same question over and over and over. And she answers it over and over and over with the same sweetness and love in her eyes like its the first time he asked. Its the most amazing thing to watch. I would’ve ripped my hair out, and she is far from a patient woman, but with him, as long as they are together she has all the patience in the world. They remind me of the Notebook.

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      • CatsMeow

        CatsMeow June 15, 2012, 7:09 pm

        This made me tear up a little.

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      • avatar

        Caris June 15, 2012, 9:57 pm

        I’m gonna go cry now.

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      • TaraMonster

        TaraMonster June 15, 2012, 4:45 pm

        When I tell my boyfriend a story a few to many times he says this: “Why don’t you go get kidnapped or something so you have a new story to tell me?”

        I try not to laugh because he is FAR to impressed with his own wit… but I always fail!

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    • avatar

      kerrycontrary June 15, 2012, 3:05 pm

      Yeh, my boyfriend farts all the time and has since I’ve met him. I try to keep most bodily functions private so this drives me crazy. But whatevs, don’t sweat the small stuff.

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      • Brad

        Brad June 15, 2012, 3:16 pm

        Most stinky farts stop smelling after the first 5-10 seconds, so just hold your breath. πŸ˜› And if you want to make him laugh, visibly hold your breath, plug your nose with your hand, and baloon out your cheeks. It’ll look so rediculious he’ll either laugh or feel guilty.

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    • TaraMonster

      TaraMonster June 15, 2012, 4:36 pm

      I loved that one! My boyfriend doesn’t know how to put an empty hanger back in the closet. He often leaves them ON TOP of me while I’m sleeping as he gets ready for work and has no idea he’s doing it. So I started a photo journal of the sad abandoned hangers. I’m not sure what I’m going to DO with the photos yet (Tumblr, maybe? Frame one for him?) but it’s my way of making a minor annoyance into something funny and cute. πŸ˜€

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  • dabbler

    dabbler June 15, 2012, 1:32 pm

    The 50 shades one really irked me. I agree with some of them – somnambulant is just trying too hard – but this one:

    The offense: “I refrain from rolling my eyes at him.”
    The fix: “I stop myself from rolling my eyes at him.”

    Really? “refrain” was too big of a word? This is a person that presumably makes a living as a writer, and is advocating to dumb things down to a second grade reading level.

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    • bittergaymark

      bittergaymark June 15, 2012, 2:28 pm

      Yeah, that Grey’s link BLOWS… The accompanying article is a bit of illiterate filth. Or should I say, — a piece of garbage…

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      • dabbler

        dabbler June 15, 2012, 2:34 pm

        Don’t you mean the article that goes with it? I see you’ve been breaking out the thesaurus.

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      • Brad

        Brad June 15, 2012, 2:36 pm

        What does piece of garbage mean? Those words are too big.

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    • JK

      JK June 15, 2012, 9:58 pm

      Some of them donΒ΄t make any sense: turning “brusquely” into “rush to”? and “forget… from my brain”?

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      • JK

        JK June 15, 2012, 10:01 pm

        And she suggests changing the word cutlery??? WTF?

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      • bittergaymark

        bittergaymark June 16, 2012, 12:12 am

        I know, right? The author of the piece appears to have roughly the same vocabulary I had in third grade…. I mean, who doesn’t use the word amiss?

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