Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links, June 21

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“For Women, Is Masturbation the Last Sex Taboo?” [viw NYMag]

“Home Economics: The Link Between Work-Life Balance and Income Equality” [via The Atlantic]

I love this excerpt, “Mapping Manhattan: How 10 Women See the City”, from the book, Mapping Manhattan: A Love (and Sometimes Hate) Story in Maps by 75 New Yorkers, which was published in April. [via The Hairpin]

“How Long Can You Wait to Have a Baby?” [via The Atlantic]

“Facebook is Ruining Our Relationships” [via Digital Trends]

“We Need to Quit Telling Lies on Facebook” [via Raising Kvell]

Secrets to becoming an adult if you’re a millennial [via Today.com]

“Millennial Women Don’t Want Top Jobs, Says Study” [via HuffPo]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to wendy@dearwendy.com and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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46 comments… add one
  • Fabelle

    Fabelle June 21, 2013, 1:06 pm

    I really can’t believe that almost HALF of women say they only masturbate once a month? I mean, WHAT. That’s so mind-boggling. Maybe some just don’t have the desire, but I have to assume that for others, it’s a body-shame thing?

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    • avatar

      lets_be_honest June 21, 2013, 1:31 pm

      Maybe they just get it on so much they don’t need to?

      I can’t imagine body shaming yourself when you are alone and no one will ever know what you’re doing.

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    • avatar

      GatorGirl June 21, 2013, 1:32 pm

      Honestly it would be a reach for me to say I do do it once a month. I just have zero interest in masturbation really. It’s not as satisfying to me.

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    • theattack

      theattack June 21, 2013, 1:33 pm

      Moving in with my SO really made my frequency plummet. Most of the time that I’m home he’s there with me, at which point I can just have him do it for me. Or if I try to do it by myself, he sees me and then takes over. I probably only do it once or twice a month now because of that when it used to be every day.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle June 21, 2013, 1:39 pm

        That’s interesting. I guess it’s different for everybody. But, for me, having a S/O or ~not~ having one never made my masturbation frequency drop that much (& I would always spend a lot of time with my boyfriends, so it was never an “I don’t see him” thing) And when we’re together, sometimes we’ll each masturbate next to each other, at which point ~sometimes~ we’ll jump in to help, sometimes not. Or he’ll let me finish, & then just have sex with me.

        I’m not judging or whatever, to be clear! It’s just that the once a month statistic was really surprising, so it’s interesting to hear you guys’s (guys’s?? what) viewpoints.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle June 21, 2013, 1:41 pm

        Also, to add, I guess I just view partner orgasms as a whole different thing than solo orgasms? So maybe that’s why being with a S/O doesn’t change my habits.

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      • avatar

        Christy June 21, 2013, 2:28 pm

        Definitely different.

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      • Miel

        Miel June 21, 2013, 2:43 pm

        I consider them to be very different too. Maybe with a partner there’s somewhat the need for it to be a show ? I’m sure I’m not sexy at all when I masturbate by myself. I probably look asleep or bored.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 21, 2013, 2:46 pm

        haha, wMs.

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      • avatar

        Christy June 21, 2013, 3:54 pm

        Honestly, my partner orgasms are much better, because I’m more mentally into it.

        And let me tell you, I think my masturbating is really boring, but gf seems to enjoy watching. She thinks it’s hot.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 21, 2013, 1:42 pm

        Oh I didn’t think you were judging. I used to do it two or three times a day so clearly I love it. It just isn’t as necessary now. Plus (TMI alert!) I can’t do it after we have sex because I’m too sensitive, so that really knocks out a lot of potential time for it too.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl June 21, 2013, 1:42 pm

        See fabelle I wouldn’t count it if we where both in bed taking care of ourselves at the same time…so maybe that’s a difference? I would lump that in my sex category even if it wasn’t vaginal sex.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 21, 2013, 2:14 pm

        I think you should own your masturbating. Just own it GG.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl June 21, 2013, 2:18 pm

        Screw you. :p

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl June 21, 2013, 2:19 pm

        My smiley doesn’t work. Boo. 😛

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 21, 2013, 2:21 pm

        🙂

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  • avatar

    lets_be_honest June 21, 2013, 1:30 pm

    If you can’t lie on facebook, where can you lie? I mean, really.

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  • avatar

    Kate June 21, 2013, 1:41 pm

    I think that fertility article is encouraging. I don’t think I want to have kids, but if I change my mind it’s promising to know that 82% of women in their late 30s who have sex twice a week will get pregnant in a year (as opposed to 82% of women in their late 20s). It would appear that your fertility does not go down drastically after your late 20s as many people would have us believe. I always thought those scary statistics were partly BS that people like to throw around to shame women who “focus too much on their careers.”

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    • avatar

      Kate June 21, 2013, 1:41 pm

      *as opposed to 86% of women in their early 20s, so only 4% difference.

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  • Betsy

    Betsy June 21, 2013, 1:59 pm

    The font on “Secrets to becoming an adult..” is extremely difficult to read, I couldn’t get past #1.

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  • avatar

    GatorGirl June 21, 2013, 2:52 pm

    It’s not related to the Links, but I love that on DW, we can fight to the death about a subject and 9 times out of 10, 3 posts down we’re all BBFs again?

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    • theattack

      theattack June 21, 2013, 2:56 pm

      I agree! I also don’t think it’s always been like this. This time last year even we didn’t have such unconditional friendships, IMO. Or maybe that’s just me? We’re like a very large group of polygamous old married couples.

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    • Fabelle

      Fabelle June 21, 2013, 2:57 pm

      I love it, too! It makes me happy that no one’s ever really mad at each other (& I love @theattack’s old polyamorous couple analogy, haha)

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      iwannatalktosampson June 21, 2013, 2:59 pm

      Yeah it’s kind of my favorite. That’s why I get so caught off guard when someone would be mad at me days later. It doesn’t really happen anymore but it happened a lot a while ago. I forget about our fights pretty much immediately.

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      • avatar

        GatorGirl June 21, 2013, 3:01 pm

        Shit I forget about them like half way down the thread. Haha. It’s awesome though guys.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 21, 2013, 3:05 pm

        So true.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 21, 2013, 3:07 pm

        Sometimes I wonder if a person I’m talking with is like, didn’t you know I hate you. I can’t keep track of who is who on here. There’s only 1 I remember disliking me because I remember thinking how could you be so mean when you are from the same city my sister is from. Makes no sense, but the name sticks in my head bc of that. I’m pretty sure the only time that person commented though was to tell me she thinks I suck a lot. haha.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 21, 2013, 3:08 pm

        was it Mean Rachel?

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        lets_be_honest June 21, 2013, 3:09 pm

        Haha, no, don’t want to shout anyone out, but it was a name similar NYC Chick, so the city name stuck in my head.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle June 21, 2013, 3:10 pm

        Wait, was it the person who was like “I’M GONNA COME OUT OF NOWHERE & TELL LBH SHE SUCKS”

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        lets_be_honest June 21, 2013, 3:17 pm

        Yes. Pretty much exactly that. And I think I was called a bitch. Iwanna told me to be flattered by it, so I decided I would be. At first, to be honest, it hurt my feelings.

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        iwannatalktosampson June 21, 2013, 4:13 pm

        Haha I pretty much don’t consider myself a success unless I’m pissing at least one person off.

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      • theattack

        theattack June 21, 2013, 3:13 pm

        It’s cool. I didn’t want you to name names UNLESS it was Mean Rachel. I thought it was you that she exploded on before, but maybe not.

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        lets_be_honest June 21, 2013, 3:17 pm

        No, I think she exploded on AP, which really isn’t wise to do around here. Everyone flipped on her for it, including Wendy, haha.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 21, 2013, 3:53 pm

        Ha, Mean Rachel just called me a bitch. No biggie. … I wish I could remember why.

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      • avatar

        bethany June 21, 2013, 3:58 pm

        Nobody calls AP a bitch. NOBODY.

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      • avatar

        Addie Pray June 21, 2013, 3:54 pm

        I think it was the sorority chick

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        bethany June 21, 2013, 3:15 pm

        Uugh. Fake Rachel was the worst.

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        kerrycontrary June 21, 2013, 3:05 pm

        I guess I just don’t notice if anyone’s ever mad at me. And if they are, it’s just the interwebs 🙂

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        lets_be_honest June 21, 2013, 3:09 pm

        I think this is real life too. Do you think people are mad at you for something, but they never said it so you’re totally clueless. My neighbor is like this. It took me so long to realize she doesn’t like me. I have NO clue why. I’ve tried to remember me doing something unneighborly, but I can’t. I really want to just ask, but I figure that’s silly. She refuses to acknowledge my presence at this point, when a few months ago Peter and I were helping her change her lightbulbs. People be weird.

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        kerrycontrary June 21, 2013, 3:25 pm

        yeh this happens to me a lot. Or I did something little to piss someone off, but they are really cowardly and never bring it up. And then they are passive aggressive and it gets blown way out of proportion. But if they had just said something at the first incident I most likely would’ve apologized and tried to fix the situation.

        Oh yeh, I got called homophobic that one day. That’s the only thing I ever got upset about. Because check it bitch, anyone who knows my real life would beg to differ.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest June 21, 2013, 3:30 pm

        That’s the thing. Just tell me, because more likely than not, I’ll stop doing whatever it is that’s pissing you off and apologize for pissing you off.

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    • avatar

      bethany June 21, 2013, 3:17 pm

      I don’t think I ever fought with anyone? Did I? I usually stop caring before it gets to “fight” level.
      🙂

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  • avatar

    TheOtherOtherMe June 21, 2013, 4:34 pm

    I’m so glad to read that article about fertility after age 35. I always thought there was something fishy about those dire statistics, which have (unfortunately) been seared into so many women’s brains. Now I know that the many women I know over 40 who easily got pregnant (including me) are not just an anomaly.

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  • Brown-eyed NoVA Girl

    Brown-eyed NoVA Girl June 21, 2013, 5:13 pm

    I guess I’m confused with the messaging on millennials–and I guess I am one since I was born in 1982. The today.com article is all “you aren’t that special, put on your big girl panties and work your way up” and the HuffPo article says that millennial women don’t want ‘top jobs,’ which goes against the “I’m special and should be in charge” mentality. What is it, people? Are we hyper motivated type-A’s or cautious employees who don’t want to make sacrifices?

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    • avatar

      Sara June 21, 2013, 6:22 pm

      I totally found these two articles contradictory, too. I think the today.com article is aimed more at “youth through the decades” than the research that HuffPo reports.

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