Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links, March 1

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

“Insecure About Your Vagina? Sharing a Photo on the Internet Won’t Fix That.” [via XX Factor]

“We Found Our Son On The Subway” [via NYTimes]

“Marriage Arguments: Fights All Couples Have To Have At Least Once” [via HuffPo]

“You Can Be Too Beautiful” [via The Atlantic]

“How I Know You’re An Asshole” [via Thought Catalog]

“Photographer as Witness: A Portrait of Domestic Violence” [via Time.com]

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

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12 comments… add one
  • katie

    katie March 1, 2013, 3:08 pm

    so i am sad that the vagina sharing didnt have its intended purpose. in theory that was a great idea!

    also: was i only one that submitted the “i found my son on the subway” article? ive seen like 8 people share it on facebook lol

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    • Dear Wendy

      Wendy March 1, 2013, 3:21 pm

      You weren’t the only one to submit it!

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      lets_be_honest March 4, 2013, 1:25 pm

      I just finally got around to reading the subway article. My whole body feels happy.

      Reply Link
  • Fabelle

    Fabelle March 1, 2013, 3:18 pm

    Oh, ‘kay, um, so this is definitely over-share-y, but I have big labia & have actually thought about submitting my portrait (haaa) on that site before. I never did, but my reasoning at the time wasn’t that *I* wanted feel better—it was just to add to what was already there in order to maybe help someone else who may have felt insecure? Like a teenage girl who isn’t seeing a wide variety of porn (which, I do agree with the bottom of that article, that porn is NOT the issue…you definitely see many, many types of labia in porn. Maybe the old Playboy models had their labia airbrushed away to nothing, but you don’t really see that in hardcore internet videos—you see all types)

    Anyway, yeah. Obviously this shouldn’t even be a thing that women feel insecure about, but personally, I remember feeling weird about mine from puberty up until I began having sex (and realized no one gave a fuck) So I can still understand the need for a “you’re all beautiful!” website about vagina lips. I agree with the author’s finer points, but I’m kinda bummed how she’s basically ignoring the positive message of the “project”

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    • katie

      katie March 1, 2013, 3:37 pm

      it is really sad, because it could be so good to see all different types and everything, and then think your own vagina cant be *that* weird- look at how much variety there is, bla bla bla!

      but its just a popularity contest- the article mentioned that some women are crushed to not get enough likes. so maybe its the women’s fault. maybe they are the ones missing the point, and being selfish about it all instead of looking for collective good.

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      • avatar

        MJ March 1, 2013, 3:54 pm

        Why are there even vagina likes? She should “get rid of the thumbs” on her page!

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        iseeshiny March 1, 2013, 4:27 pm

        Ohgod vagina thumbs.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle March 1, 2013, 5:54 pm

        Vagina thumbs, vagina thumbs. Now I’m picturing it 🙁

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        Catcar March 1, 2013, 4:55 pm

        It’s not possible to disable likes on tumblr, as far as I know.

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    • CatsMeow

      CatsMeow March 1, 2013, 5:29 pm

      I remember watching porn when I was young with my guy friends because we were curious and immature, and if they ever saw someone with an “outtie” they’d get all grossed out and start making jokes about Arby’s. And another guy friend of mine just refused to ever be with anyone that had “beef curtains.” Another perception was that if a woman’s labia were large, they were actually just “beat up” because she’d been having too much sex, so there was a slut-shaming element as well.

      So yeah, I think the idea behind the Tumblr is good and it benefits girls who don’t know that they’re “normal” and guys who think large labia are icky.

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      • Fabelle

        Fabelle March 1, 2013, 5:53 pm

        Yeah, I’ve seen comments like that online but the only time it was directed at me personally was when I was naked in front of my gay guy friend…he started asking if I looked like that because of all the sex I had, & I was like, wtf. No dude, they appeared when I was 12-year-old.

        Also, when that pic of Britney Spears climbing out of a limo with her full vag out (for some I feel like saying “vag” here) was all over the internet, I remember one dude commenting like “Oh, she’s got that perfect p____y” (censoring to avoid offense) so, yeah. These attitudes are prevalent.

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      • avatar

        Sasa March 2, 2013, 4:49 am

        I agree that the general idea behind it is a good one, but looking at the pictures and comments kind of made me laugh. Why does everything about a woman’s body need to look “beautiful”? To be honest, taken out of context, close-ups of vulvas don’t look all that appealing to me. But it’s fine because obviously vulvas are awesome because of the way they feel, smell and especially if you love the women attached to them, no? There seems to be this idea that if you have a body insecurity, the way to go is to expose yourself as much as possible and then it goes away. This project, for me at least, kind of shows this doesn’t work. Maybe instead those circles from the 70ies where women together looked at their vaginas should be brought back? 🙂

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