Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Friday Links: March 2

Here are a few things from around the web that may interest you:

From The Hairpin: “On Female Desire”

From Huffington Post: “Red Dress Effect: Women In Red Deemed Open To Sexual Advances, Study Of Men Shows”

From The Awl: “The Complete Online Dating Advice Guide For Women”

A wedding planner says she can predict whether couples will divorce or not in “Confessions of a Wedding Planner” from Cosmo.

From College Candy: “The 10 Commandments of Casual Sex”

From MSNBC: “Why do emotional opposites attract?”

From The Daily Mail: “Happy to be Virgins”

Career choices in the context of today’s younger generation in “Diversify Your Dreams” from Harvard Business Review.

Thank you to those who submitted links for me to include. If you see something around the web you think DW readers would appreciate, please send me a link to [email protected] and if it’s a fit, I’ll include it in Friday’s round-up. Thanks!

26 comments… add one
  • avatar

    silver_dragon_girl March 2, 2012, 12:14 pm

    Wow, that emotional opposites attracting article could have been written about my bf and me. And we just had a big talk about it last night! It’s not really that *helpful*, but it’s nice to know we’re not alone ๐Ÿ™‚

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  • avatar

    *HmC* March 2, 2012, 12:17 pm

    I submitted the last one, “Diversify Your Dreams”- I highly recommend it of course! ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • iwannatalktosampson

      Iwannatalktosampson March 2, 2012, 1:08 pm

      Yo! How’d the bar go for you?

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      • avatar

        *HmC* March 2, 2012, 1:14 pm

        Well… as soon as I sat down, the stress sort of dissipated. Like, ‘this is what I’ve been freaking out over, words on a page?’ I can honestly say I gave it my best, and I’m proud of myself. If I don’t pass, I don’t pass. Glad it’s done!

        What about you! Remember the MBE about the pet wolf that a jogger “negligently” trips over? Lol WTF?!

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      • iwannatalktosampson

        Iwannatalktosampson March 2, 2012, 1:22 pm

        Oh yeah WTF I forgot about that one. I’m sure I got that one wrong. I’m happy to be done. The essay/pt day was a lot easier than I expected and the multiple choice was harder than I expected, so we’ll see. Either way I’m glad it’s over!

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      • avatar

        *HmC* March 2, 2012, 1:25 pm

        Essays were weird for me- they sort of hit the subjects I was the least confident in and I felt like I was doing a little too much analyzing with not enough actual rule knowledge… but oh well. I’m proud of us! That test is a bitch.

        Congrats!

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  • avatar

    *HmC* March 2, 2012, 12:58 pm

    The article about women in their 20’s getting divorced seems like it would apply to women of any age.

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  • avatar

    rachel March 2, 2012, 1:17 pm

    I totally respect women who want to remain virgins until marriage, but it sounds like some of these women are just making up excuses to fool themselves. The girl who says all her friends think sex is overrated? Please, if sex is overrated, you’re not doing it right!

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    • avatar

      jlyfsh March 2, 2012, 1:25 pm

      yeah and no matter what anyone says i have found no dessert that replaces sex.

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      • avatar

        lets_be_honest March 2, 2012, 1:26 pm

        Try to tell me that as I’m shoving chocolate covered cannolis into my mouth…Amiright?

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    • JK

      JK March 2, 2012, 1:36 pm

      It seemed to me like all the women (except for the one with chronic fatigue syndrome) have quite negative feelings toward sex.
      I was 21 when I lost my virginity (to someone I thought was special), but I never thought sex was dirty or I was going to get an STi or abortion (taking care of myself, of course).
      I dunno, something about the article rubbed me the wrong way.

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    • Will.i.am

      Will.i.am March 2, 2012, 2:40 pm

      Indeed. If there’s no heavy breathing when you are done, then you are not interested in the person you are sleeping with.

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  • avatar

    AndreaMarie March 2, 2012, 1:38 pm

    Oooh all great reads!! I laughed at the Red Dress article. I love wearing Red. I guess I’ve convinced myself it’s my color. Funny enough I do I have very vibrant red blouse I wear to work and I always get an abundance of compliments from male coworkers.

    The real issues with the women in the virginity article are far deeper than just waiting for marriage to have sex. Clearly some of them have fear of intimacy, commitment, rejection, etc and are placing these fears and insecurities on something they haven’t even experienced.

    And great choice *HmC*. It’s so true especially in this economy. So many people who are amazing at what they do are being let go due to factors outside of their control. It’s smarter to have career focused goals that can be acheived no matter what job you do.

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    • avatar

      Caris March 2, 2012, 5:19 pm

      I think they’ve built a gigantic wall around them (the virgins from the article) because of those fears. I used to have one built around myself.

      The guys from my class used to make fun of me, I was judged on my hair or how I was dressed, or how I used my uniform,my uniform skirts were ‘too long’, my hair was always on a pony tail or a braid, when I went out I didn’t wear make up, I was not skinny enough (If i remember correctly I am a size 4 in the US, and my body barely changed since I turned 15), I was thought of as a ‘nerd’, etc. At the same time I believed all the guys from school were assholes ( I still think they are for various things they have done and said).

      All that made me build a wall around myself. Only my 2 best female friends knew me, and even them didn’t really KNOW me. Then I met my bf when I was about to turn 18 and he managed to get rid of that wall and now I am not as shy and guarded as I used to be.

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  • Leroy

    Leroy March 2, 2012, 2:48 pm

    So according to the online dating guide, you shouldn’t lie in your profile unless you can somehow rationalize lying. And the example that they give is priceless..

    “Now, having said that, I lie about my age but most people think I am 10 years younger than I am and if I told the truth, I’d never get a date with a younger woman.”

    I’ve come to the conclusion that almost everyone over 30 believes that they look 10 years younger. I think that there was actually a study that confirmed this. For whatever reason, people tend to perceive that they look significantly younger than they actually do. Because realistically almost everyone looks as old as they are. They may look good for their age, but that’s not the same as looking younger. For example, I don’t know anyone who’s in their late 30’s who looks like they’re in their late 20’s. Same goes for the 40’s and 30’s.

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    • Budj

      Budj March 2, 2012, 2:51 pm

      I laughed at that one too, haha…that guy didn’t sound like a doucher at all.

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    • JK

      JK March 2, 2012, 2:57 pm

      I was convinced that I looked late 20s (Iยดm 33), until the other day when I caught myself closeup in broad daylight.
      Now I know I have to start investing in in good eye creams (and other creams), and will soon have to dye my hair, as well. ๐Ÿ™

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      • avatar

        Caris March 2, 2012, 5:20 pm

        Or you can embrace the white and not dye it ๐Ÿ˜›

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    • avatar

      Caris March 2, 2012, 4:28 pm

      Well, my mom is 52 and she doesn’t look like she is in her 50’s ๐Ÿ˜› I’ve had friends of mine be surprised that she is in her 50’s because they thought she was like 40. And many strangers thought she was way younger. This one time we went to the hair-dresser they actually thought we were sisters. (Maybe I look way too old? lol)

      And I’ve had way too many people think I am way younger than I actually am, which can be annoying when you are in your 20’s.

      That being said, I don’t think it’s ok to lie about your age or anything else for that matter. I guess, you can avoid putting how old you are on your profile if you don’t want people to write you off immediately because of your age, but if they ask you should be honest.

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    • AnotherElle

      Laura March 2, 2012, 4:35 pm

      My parents had always looked super young for their age, I’d say a good 5-10 years younger. Then they hit their late 40s, and slowly started to look their age.

      As for me, I’ve looked like a teenager throughout most of my 20s. Not even two years ago (at 24) I was carded for a rated-R movie :-/ And I swear I don’t dress like a teenager. I usually have to wear makeup and suits/fancy dresses to look close to my age. I’ve always been anxious to hit my 30s because I thought I would be excited to look like I’m actually in my 20s. But now I’m wondering if I’ll just like skip 10 years and go straight to looking 30…

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      • Leroy

        Leroy March 2, 2012, 10:51 pm

        I’m not saying that some people don’t genuinely look younger than they are, but that most people who claim this actually don’t. It’s just very common for people to claims that they look ’10 years younger’ – and it’s always 10 years!

        Also I think that it is more credible when someone whose older is said to look 10 years younger. Someone in their mid 50’s who’s in good shape may truly look like they’re in their 40’s. But that’s because so many people in their 40’s look like hell.

        The men on my father’s side are notorious for looking very young, but that’s because they tend to have boyish features. He looked like he was 16 until he as almost 30 and then 35 until he was almost 60. You could tell that he was older than he looked but most people had a hard time guessing his age.

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  • avatar

    Nadine March 2, 2012, 3:09 pm

    Awfully judgemental Virgins.

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  • avatar

    Caris March 2, 2012, 5:03 pm

    I’m a virgin myself, but it seems like this women have nor heard of protection? And they also seem to think that anything outside marriage = meaningless one night stand with someone you barely know and will probably never see again.

    And if you are not getting approached by guys it’s probably because you look unapproachable. As in, your body language is saying stay way from me or Ill bite your head off. And it has nothing to do with your attractiveness.

    This one time I was at school, I think waiting for the class to start, and a guy came to me and asked to borrow my copybook to photocopy the previous class. I smiled and said yes sure :D. After he gave it back to me he told me that he had actually been afraid to approach me because my face looked so serious and angry and sad (my bf had recently gone through surgery),and he was surprised that I was actually a nice person! I tend to look like that when I’m walking alone too (in my head walking with a pissed off face keeps creepy people away).

    Thinking that because they wait until they are married to have sex they won’t get hurt, is kind of silly too. Just look at how many people get divorced, or people that stay in unhappy marriages because they don’t want to break their vows. At the same time, if you are with a guy you plan to get married with, whats so bad about having sex with him before the wedding? I don’t get it.

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  • Betsy

    Betsy March 5, 2012, 10:03 am

    “The reserved partner who is attracted to the emotional woman says to himself, ‘Here is someone who can complete me.’ And likewise, the emotional woman says, ‘Hereโ€™s a man who will balance out my emotionalism.'”

    I’m really irked that this article made no mention of gender until this line. I even reread it a couple of times to be sure.. Yep, totally sexist. Bitches be crazy.

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